• Mental Health
    • Anxiety
      • What is Anxiety?
      • Types of Anxiety Disorders
      • Signs & Symptoms of Anxiety
      • Treatments for Anxiety
      • Anxiety Statistics
      • See More Anxiety Content
      • Find an Anxiety Specialist
    • Depression
      • What is Depression?
      • Types of Depression
      • Signs & Symptoms of Depression
      • Treatments for Depression
      • Depression Statistics
      • Find a Depression Specialist
    • Bipolar Disorder
      • What is Bipolar Disorder?
      • Bipolar I vs. Bipolar II
      • Signs & Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder
      • What Are Bipolar Disorder Cycles?
      • Treatments for Bipolar Disorder
      • Find a Bipolar Disorder Specialist
    • ADHD
      • What is ADHD?
      • ADHD Signs & Symptoms
      • ADHD & Depression
      • Find an ADHD Specialist
    • Addiction
      • What is Addiction?
      • What Are Behavioral Addictions?
      • Addiction vs Dependence
      • Addiction Myths vs Facts
      • Addiction Statistics
      • How to Help a Friend
      • Find an Addiction Specialist
    • Eating Disorders
      • Anorexia
      • Bulimia
    • Personality Disorders
      • Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder
        • OCD vs. OCPD
    • Trauma
      • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
        • PTSD & COVID-19
      • Childhood Trauma
    • Sexual Disorders
      • Gender Dysphoria
      • Anorgasmia
      • Female Sexual Arousal Disorder (FSAD)
      • Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD)
      • Premature Ejaculation (PE)
      • Delayed Ejaculation
    • Schizophrenia
  • Therapy Techniques
    • Online Therapy
      • Best Online Therapy
      • Online Therapy for Teens
      • Best LGBTQ Online Therapy
      • Best Online Therapy for Insurance
    • Psychotherapy
    • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
      • CBT for Anxiety
      • CBT for Social Anxiety
      • CBT for Panic Disorder
      • CBT for Insomnia
      • CBT Online
    • Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)
      • DBT for Teens
    • Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
    • Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)
      • EMDR for PTSD
      • EMDR for Anxiety
      • EMDR Online
    • Art Therapy
    • Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA)
    • Exposure and Response Prevention
    • Group Therapy
    • Hypnotherapy
    • Motivational Interviewing
    • Person Centered Therapy
    • Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy
    • Sex Therapy
  • Types of Therapists
    • Faith-Based & Christian Counselors
    • Life Coaching
    • Family Therapist
      • Child & Teen Counseling
    • Marriage & Couples Counselors
      • Premarital Counseling
    • Psychiatrist
      • Psychology vs. Psychiatry
    • Psychotherapist
    • Grief Counselors
    • Online Therapists
  • Starting Therapy FAQ
    • Does Therapy Work?
      • How to Find a Therapist
      • Helping a Friend or Loved One
    • How to Choose a Therapist
      • Finding a Black Therapist
      • Finding a Latinx Therapist
      • Finding an LGBTQ-Friendly Therapist
      • Finding a Therapist as a Young Adult
      • Finding an Online Therapist
    • Preparing for Your First Session
    • Types of Mental Health Professionals
    • Mental Health Insurance
      • HSAs for Therapy
      • Sliding Scale Therapy Fees
    • Mental Health in the Workplace
      • Asking for a Mental Health Day
      • Taking Time Off for Mental Health
    • Top Mental Health Organizations
      • Mental Health Resources Outside the U.S.
  • About Us
    • About Us
    • Editorial Policy
    • Advertising Policy
    • Privacy Policy
    • Contact Us
    • Write for Us
    • Join the Directory
    • Careers
  • Therapist Directory
    • Find a Therapist
    • Join the Directory
    • Directory Login
  • Mental Health
    • Anxiety
      • What is Anxiety?
      • Types of Anxiety Disorders
      • Signs & Symptoms of Anxiety
      • Treatments for Anxiety
      • Anxiety Statistics
      • See More Anxiety Content
      • Find an Anxiety Specialist
    • Depression
      • What is Depression?
      • Types of Depression
      • Signs & Symptoms of Depression
      • Treatments for Depression
      • Depression Statistics
      • Find a Depression Specialist
    • Bipolar Disorder
      • What is Bipolar Disorder?
      • Bipolar I vs. Bipolar II
      • Signs & Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder
      • What Are Bipolar Disorder Cycles?
      • Treatments for Bipolar Disorder
      • Find a Bipolar Disorder Specialist
    • ADHD
      • What is ADHD?
      • ADHD Signs & Symptoms
      • ADHD & Depression
      • Find an ADHD Specialist
    • Addiction
      • What is Addiction?
      • What Are Behavioral Addictions?
      • Addiction vs Dependence
      • Addiction Myths vs Facts
      • Addiction Statistics
      • How to Help a Friend
      • Find an Addiction Specialist
    • Eating Disorders
      • Anorexia
      • Bulimia
    • Personality Disorders
      • Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder
        • OCD vs. OCPD
    • Trauma
      • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
        • PTSD & COVID-19
      • Childhood Trauma
    • Sexual Disorders
      • Gender Dysphoria
      • Anorgasmia
      • Female Sexual Arousal Disorder (FSAD)
      • Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD)
      • Premature Ejaculation (PE)
      • Delayed Ejaculation
    • Schizophrenia
  • Therapy Techniques
    • Online Therapy
      • Best Online Therapy
      • Online Therapy for Teens
      • Best LGBTQ Online Therapy
      • Best Online Therapy for Insurance
    • Psychotherapy
    • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
      • CBT for Anxiety
      • CBT for Social Anxiety
      • CBT for Panic Disorder
      • CBT for Insomnia
      • CBT Online
    • Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)
      • DBT for Teens
    • Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
    • Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)
      • EMDR for PTSD
      • EMDR for Anxiety
      • EMDR Online
    • Art Therapy
    • Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA)
    • Exposure and Response Prevention
    • Group Therapy
    • Hypnotherapy
    • Motivational Interviewing
    • Person Centered Therapy
    • Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy
    • Sex Therapy
  • Types of Therapists
    • Faith-Based & Christian Counselors
    • Life Coaching
    • Family Therapist
      • Child & Teen Counseling
    • Marriage & Couples Counselors
      • Premarital Counseling
    • Psychiatrist
      • Psychology vs. Psychiatry
    • Psychotherapist
    • Grief Counselors
    • Online Therapists
  • Starting Therapy FAQ
    • Does Therapy Work?
      • How to Find a Therapist
      • Helping a Friend or Loved One
    • How to Choose a Therapist
      • Finding a Black Therapist
      • Finding a Latinx Therapist
      • Finding an LGBTQ-Friendly Therapist
      • Finding a Therapist as a Young Adult
      • Finding an Online Therapist
    • Preparing for Your First Session
    • Types of Mental Health Professionals
    • Mental Health Insurance
      • HSAs for Therapy
      • Sliding Scale Therapy Fees
    • Mental Health in the Workplace
      • Asking for a Mental Health Day
      • Taking Time Off for Mental Health
    • Top Mental Health Organizations
      • Mental Health Resources Outside the U.S.
  • About Us
    • About Us
    • Editorial Policy
    • Advertising Policy
    • Privacy Policy
    • Contact Us
    • Write for Us
    • Join the Directory
    • Careers
  • Therapist Directory
    • Find a Therapist
    • Join the Directory
    • Directory Login
Skip to content

How to Help a Suicidal Friend

Published: September 30, 2021 Updated: November 24, 2022
Published: 09/30/2021 Updated: 11/24/2022
Headshot of Iris Waichler MSW, LCSW
Written by:

Iris Waichler

MSW, LCSW
Headshot of Benjamin Troy, MD
Reviewed by:

Benjamin Troy

MD
  • Suicide Warning Signs: What to Watch Out ForWarning Signs
  • How to Assess Immediate RiskImmediate Risk
  • Ways to Help Someone Who Is Suicidal9 Tips
  • What Not to DoWhat to Avoid
  • Ways to Support YourselfSupport Yourself
  • Final ThoughtsConclusion
  • Additional ResourcesResources
  • How to Help a Suicidal Friend InfographicsInfographics
Headshot of Iris Waichler MSW, LCSW
Written by:

Iris Waichler

MSW, LCSW
Headshot of Benjamin Troy, MD
Reviewed by:

Benjamin Troy

MD

Suicide is the tenth leading cause of death in the United States; it’s the second leading cause of death for people ages 10 to 34.1 To help a suicidal friend, listen carefully to what they say and ask the right questions. Offer them support and encourage them to get professional help immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeine can be reached at 800-273-TALK (8255).

Are you getting the care you need to support the people you love? BetterHelp has over 20,000 licensed therapists who provide convenient and affordable online therapy. BetterHelp starts at $60 per week. Complete a brief questionnaire and get matched with the right therapist for you.

Choosing Therapy partners with leading mental health companies and is compensated for marketing by BetterHelp

Visit BetterHelp

Suicide Warning Signs: What to Watch Out For

People who are suicidal are often feeling frightened, confused, and overwhelmed. They may or may not reach out to a loved one to share their intent to harm themselves. If there is a friend, teen, or loved one who does discuss suicidal ideation with you, be empathetic, listen, and encourage them to get immediate help from a mental health professional.

Eleven warning signs of suicide are:

  1. Talking about wanting to die or kill themselves
  2. Looking for a way to kill themselves, like searching online or buying a gun
  3. Talking about feeling hopeless or having no reason to live
  4. Talking about feeling trapped or being in unbearable pain
  5. Talking about being a burden to others2
  6. Giving away important personal possessions
  7. Increasing use of drugs and/or alcohol
  8. Ongoing social isolation from family and friends
  9. Loss of interest in things that previously brought pleasure
  10. Engaging in reckless behavior
  11. Saying they feel trapped and have no way out or alternatives

How to Assess Immediate Risk

If you believe a friend or loved one is feeling suicidal, do not hesitate to act immediately. The best way to help a suicidal friend is to connect them with a mental health professional who can do an assessment.

Additionally, if you have a friend who might be at risk for suicide, ask questions to assess the seriousness of their intent. You want to understand how soon they plan to act and whether they have a plan. Don’t frame your question in a way that seems like you’re looking for a “no” (i.e., “You aren’t thinking of killing yourself, are you?”).3

Researchers suggest asking these questions to assess immediate risk:

  1. Why do you want to die?
  2. Have you done any sort of preparation for your death?
  3. On a scale of 1-10, where would you rate your seriousness or desire to die?
  4. Have you tried any particular method already or taken steps in rehearsal for suicide?4

Additional actions you should take if there is immediate risk include:

  1. Call 911, if needed
  2. Encourage your friend to go to a hospital for a psychiatric evaluation
  3. Encourage your friend to reach out to a suicide prevention hotline and supply a number
  4. Stay with your friend and actively listen while help is on the way

9 Ways to Help Someone Who Is Suicidal

If you’re trying to help someone who is suicidal, stay present and as calm as possible. Don’t make statements like “Cheer up” or “Everything will be fine,” because that can be construed as a way of minimizing their feelings and disregarding their emotional pain. It also will make the person who is suicidal less inclined to listen to you.

Here are nine actions you can take to help someone who is suicidal:5,6

1. Encourage Them to Seek Treatment

A suicidal or severely depressed person may not have the energy or motivation to find help. If they don’t want to consult a doctor or mental health provider, suggest finding help from a support group, crisis center, faith community, teacher, or other trusted person.

2. Be Respectful & Acknowledge Their Feelings

Try not to express shock and don’t try to talk them out of their feelings. Remember, even though someone who is suicidal isn’t thinking logically, their emotions are very real.

3. Ask Outright

“Are you thinking about killing yourself?” It’s not an easy question, but studies show that asking at-risk individuals if they are suicidal does not increase suicides or suicidal thoughts.

4. Keep Them Safe

Reducing a suicidal person’s access to highly lethal items or places is an important part of suicide prevention. While this is not always easy, asking if the at-risk person has a plan and removing or disabling the lethal means can make a difference.

5. Follow Up

Make a follow-up plan. Discuss when and how you will follow up and check in on your friend to ensure they are safe. Reassure that person that they are not alone and you want to continue to be available to offer support and resources. Try to get them to talk about the source of their suicide ideation.

6. Link Them With Support Services

People in a suicidal state may not have the energy or ability to reach out for help or research where to go. Gather information on suicide hotlines, local support groups, counseling and mental health centers, and hospitals where they can be assessed by mental health professionals. This way the proper treatment can be set up quickly.

7. Believe Them

If a friend tells you they have suicidal ideation, believe them. It may be a cry for help, but sometimes people mistakenly assume that someone uses this as a way to get attention. You need to err on the side of caution and assume their intent is real.

8. Encourage Them to Talk to a Therapist

A trained mental health professional has the skills to properly assess the suicide risk and emotional state of the individual. Learn more about how to choose the right therapist. You need to find someone who has expertise working with people who are depressed and possibly suicidal. They can determine the degree of risk and make a correct diagnosis.

9. Make a Safety Plan

Having a safety plan with someone who is in crisis can make a positive difference. It can help them get through moments that seem unbearable if they know a plan is in place and help is available.

What Not to Do

Here are things you shouldn’t do when trying to help someone who is suicidal: 

  • Don’t be patronizing or judgmental: Don’t tell someone that “Things could be worse.” Instead, ask questions like, “What’s causing you to feel so bad?” and “How can I help?”
  • Don’t try to offer solutions: It is tempting to try to come up with quick and easy solutions. A person who is suicidal may take this the wrong way. They may feel that you are minimizing their feelings or don’t understand the depth of their emotional pain. You may accidentally sabotage your efforts to connect with them in a meaningful way.
  • Don’t keep it a secret: Your friend may ask you not to tell anybody about their suicidal ideation or attempts. You need to tell someone that can offer help. Do not worry about betraying their confidence. They may be angry ,but sharing this information can save their life.

4 Ways to Support Yourself

Here are four ways to support yourself when you’re trying to help a suicidal friend:

  1. Make your own health and well-being a priority, even if only to ensure that you continue to provide the best care for them
  2. Maintain regular exercise, get enough sleep, and eat a healthy diet
  3. It is important that you don’t try to deal with the situation by yourself
  4. A vital part of looking after yourself is having people to talk to about the situation and how it is affecting you. This might be a family member or friend, or someone completely objective8

Final Thoughts

Don’t underestimate how important compassion and the simple act of listening can be to someone who is suicidal. If you know someone is suicidal, share this information with a crisis intervention professional who can offer immediate help and support. Regardless of the outcome, make sure that you get mental health support as well. You can start your search for a therapist on an online directory.

Additional Resources

Education is just the first step on our path to improved mental health and emotional wellness. To help our readers take the next step in their journey, Choosing Therapy has partnered with leaders in mental health and wellness. Choosing Therapy may be compensated for marketing by the companies mentioned below.

Talk Therapy 

Online-Therapy.com – Get support and guidance from a licensed therapist. Online-Therapy.com provides 45 minute weekly video sessions and unlimited text messaging with your therapist for only $64/week. Get started  Get Started

Virtual Psychiatry

Talkiatry Get help from a real doctor that takes your insurance. Talkiatry offers medication management and online visits with top-rated psychiatrists. Take the online assessment and have your first appointment within a week. Free Assessment

DBT Skills Course

Jones Mindful Living Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is a popular treatment for BPD. Learn DBT skills with live weekly classes and online video courses for only $19 per month. Free One Week Trial

Choosing Therapy Directory 

You can search for therapists by specialty,  experience, insurance, or price, and location. Find a therapist today.

Choosing Therapy partners with leading mental health companies and is compensated for marketing by Jones Mindful Living, Online-Therapy.com, and Talkiatry.

For Further Reading

  • Helpful Books About Suicide & Suicidal Thoughts
  • Best Books on Self-Harm
  • National Suicide Prevention Hotline
  • Crisis Text Line
  • The Trevor Project
  • Books About Friendship

How to Help a Suicidal Friend Infographics

How to Help a Suicidal Friend Listening and Asking the Right Questions Can Help a Suicidal Friend Suicide as One of the Leading Causes of Death in the United States

Suicide Warning Signs Questions to Assess Immediate Suicide Risk Ways to Help Someone Who is Suicidal

Supporting One's Self When Helping a Suicidal Friend How Not to Approach Someone Who's Suicidal Compassion, Listening, and Therapy to Help a Suicidal Friend

6 sources

Choosing Therapy strives to provide our readers with mental health content that is accurate and actionable. We have high standards for what can be cited within our articles. Acceptable sources include government agencies, universities and colleges, scholarly journals, industry and professional associations, and other high-integrity sources of mental health journalism. Learn more by reviewing our full editorial policy.

  • Suicide Prevention. American Psychiatric Association (2018) Retrieved from https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/suicide-prevention

  • Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Help Someone Else. Retrieved from https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/help-someone-else/

  • Batya Swift Yasgur, MS, LSW Is This Patient Suicidal? Tips for Effective Assessment. August 17, 2016. Psychiatry Advisor. Retrieved from https://www.psychiatryadvisor.com/home/topics/suicide-and-self-harm/is-this-patient-suicidal-tips-for-effective-assessment/

  • Andrea N. Weber, Maria Michail, Alex Thompson, Jess G. Fiedorowicz. Psychiatric Emergencies: Assessing and Managing Suicidal Ideation. March 8, 2017. Medical Clinics of North America. doi: 10.1016/j.mcna.2016.12.006. Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5777328/

  • Mayo Clinic staff. Suicide: What to do when someone is suicidal.(2021) Retrieved from https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/suicide/in-depth/suicide/art-20044707

  • National Institute of Mental Health. Suicide Prevention. If you Know Someone is in Crisis. 2021. Retrieved from https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/suicide-prevention

Recent Articles

Depression _ Sex_ How Depression Impacts Sex _ Tips for Coping
Depression & Sex: How Depression Impacts Sex & Tips for Coping
You’ve probably heard a lot about depression. You have also likely heard and read a lot about sex. While...
';
Depression Symptoms, Signs, & What to Watch For
Depression Symptoms, Signs, & What to Watch For
Depression symptoms can include sadness, fatigue, and poor self-esteem, but signs of depression can be more complicated because the...
';
Depression: Types, Symptoms, & Treatments
Depression: Types, Symptoms, & Treatments
Depression is a mood disorder that brings about sadness and can influence our energy, irritability, and overall well-being. There...
';
Depression & Anger: Connection & Treatment
Depression & Anger: Connections & Treatments
Depression and anger are closely connected. In fact, irritability, frustration, and anger outbursts are common symptoms of depression. Likewise,...
';
Parenting With Depression: 10 Tips From a Therapist
Parenting With Depression: 10 Tips From a Therapist
Depression is one of the three most common mental health disorders, and it takes a devastating toll on an...
';
Burnout: Signs, Causes, & Ways to Overcome
Burnout: Signs, Causes, & Ways to Overcome
Burnout most commonly comes as a result of feeling emotionally and physically exhausted from a chronic stressor, typically from...
';
Headshot of Iris Waichler MSW, LCSW
Written by:

Iris Waichler

MSW, LCSW
Headshot of Benjamin Troy, MD
Reviewed by:

Benjamin Troy

MD
  • Suicide Warning Signs: What to Watch Out ForWarning Signs
  • How to Assess Immediate RiskImmediate Risk
  • Ways to Help Someone Who Is Suicidal9 Tips
  • What Not to DoWhat to Avoid
  • Ways to Support YourselfSupport Yourself
  • Final ThoughtsConclusion
  • Additional ResourcesResources
  • How to Help a Suicidal Friend InfographicsInfographics
If you are in need of immediate medical help:
Medical
Emergency
911
Suicide Hotline
800-273-8255
See more Crisis Hotlines
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Write for Us
  • Careers
  • Editorial Policy
  • Advertising Policy
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Service
  • No Surprises Act
For immediate help call:
Medical Emergency:
911
Suicide Hotline:
988
Click For More Crisis Hotlines
For immediate help call:
Medical Emergency:
911
Suicide Hotline:
811
See more Crisis Hotlines
here
logo
This site complies with the HONcode standard for trustworthy health information:
verify here.
This website is certified by Health On the Net Foundation. Click to verify.
Choosing Therapy Logo
We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. However, you may visit Cookie Settings to provide controlled consent. Cookie settings ACCEPT
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

We use cookies to facilitate website functionality. Also, we use third-party cookies to track your website behavior and target advertising. These cookies are stored in your browser only with your consent, and you have the choice of opting out.
Necessary
Always Enabled

Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.

Non Necessary

Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.

Save & Accept