The effort to calm your anxiety can take many forms, but it often involves learning ways to relax your body, eliminating factors that enhance an anxious response, and engaging in productive self-talk. You can lessen anxiety’s effect in your life by utilizing approaches based on your physiology and cognition, and possibly by incorporating pharmacotherapy.1
The American Psychological Association (APA) refers to anxiety as “an emotion that is characterized by feelings of tension, worried thoughts, and physical changes.”2 It involves obsessing about or ruminating on concerns regarding the future, drawing the person out of the present. Causes can be known or unknown, resulting in agitation, irritability, or nervousness. Physical symptoms include a racing heart or chest tightness.
There are many different types of anxiety disorders, each with defining symptoms that can be triggered by different circumstances. Anxiety treatments, including therapy and medication, focus on managing the fear, worry, and nervousness of these disorders by targeting dysfunctional thoughts and behaviors as well as balancing brain chemicals.
“I encourage people to be flexible and consider a range of strategies to manage anxiety. There won’t be one approach that works in all situations. A key is to remember that anxiety is a healthy emotion and, even though it feels uncomfortable, it’s not dangerous. So, the more you choose to tolerate anxiety and still do the things you want to do to meet your goals (even when you feel anxious!), the more your anxiety will go down and not interfere with your life. You choose what you do, not anxiety!” – Bethany Teachman, Professor of Psychology & Director of Clinical Training, University of Virginia
Here are 21 tips for how to calm anxiety:
1. Limit Caffeine & Alcohol Intake
For those who are sensitive and prone to anxiety, consuming caffeine and/or alcohol can enhance or increase feelings of agitation, irritability, or nervousness, so limiting intake of these substances may be helpful.3
2. Try Breathwork & “Belly Breathing”
Attention to diaphragmatic breathing or “belly breathing” has been shown to reduce stress hormones within the body, automatically decreasing the nervous system response, something that is often in overdrive during anxiety.4
3. Think About the Situation in a Less Threatening Way
“For instance, if you are anxious about giving a presentation at work, instead of thinking ‘I will look stupid,’ you can think, ‘Most people are unlikely to judge me negatively.'” – Bethany Teachman, Professor of Psychology & Director of Clinical Training, University of Virginia
4. Start a Meditation & Mindfulness Practice
Meditation for anxiety and mindfulness practices aim to bring you into the present moment. By developing ways to ground oneself in the present, anxiety can be kept at bay. Additionally, mindfulness-based stress reduction allows the person to become an observer of their own experience, rather than feeling overwhelmed by it.5 Teachman encourages, “Do a mindfulness exercise where you observe and accept your reaction without judging it – it’s OK to feel anxious, that’s just a feeling and it will pass. When you decide to tolerate anxiety instead of desperately trying to get rid of it, anxiety loses its power and typically diminishes.”
5. Journal or Write Down Your Feelings
Journaling for mental health or even making a bulleted list of concerns/worries in the notes section of your phone can help to externalize what some people describe as the “mental clutter” that anxiety can produce.
6. Avoid Negative Self-talk & Self-judgment
Negative self-talk can keep one in the toxic loop of rumination. Try to be kinder to yourself for what you’re experiencing, shifting negative self talk to something more positive.
7. Consider Yoga
Yoga is an activity that incorporates self-compassion, breathwork, and mindfulness, so it makes sense that yoga for anxiety can help calm, center, and ground someone. Yoga serves as a way that one can pay attention to calming down the body.
8. Exercise Regularly
There’s no doubt that the mental health benefits of exercise are innumerable, including calming anxiety. The endorphins released when we exercise decrease anxiety, making this an easy “go to” first step for learning how to calm down.6
9. Name the Anxiety
One of the things that makes anxiety grow is attempting to avoid it or pretend it isn’t there. You need to openly acknowledge anxiety before you can attempt to calm it. Simple verbalizations to yourself and others such as, “I’ve noticed that I feel anxious when…” can allow you to develop a relationship with your anxious feelings.
10. Identify the Patterns
Perhaps you notice yourself becoming anxious before going to a party or out to a restaurant, which could suggest social anxiety. Or maybe you become highly anxious before a job interview or a big meeting at work, which could suggest performance anxiety. Learn to identify your patterns so you can be aware of them.
11. Befriend Curiosity
Similar to mindfulness, developing an attitude of curiosity about anxious feelings can allow you to observe your patterns, ask yourself questions, and to distance yourself from anxiety rather than attempting to exert control or becoming overwhelmed.
12. Time Block “Worry Time”
If you accept that going through anxious feelings is part of your process before something like a work presentation or starting a new job, set an internal boundary. For example, instead of giving in to anxiety for the entire week prior to the presentation, tell yourself that you’ll allow space and time for worry the day before (called activity scheduling). This careful compartmentalization can set limits to how much time anxiety takes away from you.
13. Rehearse or Review With a Friend
Sometimes we feel anxious in a way that is meant to motivate or stimulate us. Channel feelings of anxiety into a rehearsal session or review with a friend rather than stewing in it alone. You can use the anxiety to your advantage to give you a run-through before doing the thing that makes you anxious.
14. Share What’s Going On With Someone You Trust
If you’re experiencing social anxiety, designate a “wing person” with whom you share your struggles before attending an event. This person should be someone you feel safe with, who understands that you might be feeling socially anxious. By not having to explain your social anxiety in the moment, it will likely decrease in their presence.
15. State Expectations or the Obvious
Sometimes simply stating what you’re feeling at the start of a meeting or conversation can serve to burst the anxiety bubble, even though you may feel that you need to hide how you feel. By opening with a comment like, “Public speaking isn’t one of my favorite things, so bear with me if my voice shakes a bit,” will humanize you. Chances are, most people have been in your shoes at some point.
16. Normalize Newness
Anxiety thrives on unknowns, so it can help to normalize that anything new may bring up anxious feelings. Remind yourself that something new is often exciting; check in with yourself to see if perhaps you’re excited/anticipating vs. anxious.
17. Know Your Patterns
Do you struggle with transitions or are you most anxious just prior to an event? Do you notice feelings in your body or in your self-talk that give you clues about anxiety? By recognizing and categorizing your anxious patterns, you effectively disempower anxiety. By familiarizing yourself with your “tells,” you can better manage anxiety before it becomes overwhelming.
18. Remind Yourself That You Can Take a Break
Sometimes anxiety will leave us feeling trapped or stifled, especially if we are experiencing social anxiety. However, we can choose to take a break or a pause at any moment, excusing ourselves to use the restroom or stepping outside for some fresh air. Taking breaks from anxiety-producing stimuli can give us space to recharge before diving back in.
19. Engage Your Body in Your Process
Activities such as body scanning or progressive muscle relaxation can remind you to check in with how your physical being is experiencing what is happening. Using these kinds of body focused tools, we can send messages of safety from our bodies to our brains so that overactivity will calm.
20. Sleep Enough
A body that is chronically unrested is automatically vulnerable to anxiety or depression. If you notice that you’ve been feeling extra amped up, find ways to increase your sleep. Your nervous system needs the break that is offered by sleep, so don’t undervalue this ingredient in your wellness.
21. Avoid Procrastination
Procrastinating behaviors only fuel anxiety. Create a plan and stick to it, keeping procrastination at bay. Sometimes just the act of creating a plan will calm anxiety as you can rest assured that you’ve done everything within your control to manage what’s happening.
When to Seek Professional Help For Anxiety
Though it’s normal to become anxious from time to time or to experience feelings of nervousness, you may want to consider finding a therapist if you have been struggling with feeling anxious for a continued period of time.
Teachman recommends, “If anxiety is getting in the way of you doing the things you want to do and that has been happening for a while, it’s a good idea to get a professional evaluation. For instance, if you’re avoiding doing things that would help advance your career or relationships, or you spend a lot of time worrying and thinking the worst is going to happen, I encourage people to seek help.”
Finding a therapist that is familiar with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) for anxiety, a data-supported intervention for anxiety support can be especially helpful. An online therapist directory can also point you in the right direction.
Can Anxiety Be Prevented?
While anxiety is bound to happen at some point in anyone’s life, there are ways to set yourself up to handle it well.
Teachman advises, “Anxiety is a normal part of life so people should expect to feel some anxiety. However, here are some ways to reduce the likelihood of experiencing excessive or prolonged fear or worry: practice thinking flexibly instead of jumping to the worst conclusion; take care of your body by getting good sleep, exercise and eating well; try not to avoid things that make you anxious because that makes the anxiety grow – when you face a fear and take on a challenge, the anxiety usually goes down; and remember that you can handle hard things.”
Final Thoughts on How to Calm Your Anxiety
Calming anxiety is a practice, not a one-time solution. That said, developing skills to manage and cope with anxiety can be extremely helpful. By learning how to calm anxiety before you’re in the midst of an anxious moment, you will have the necessary tools to de-escalate your response versus becoming overwhelmed by it.