The effort to calm your anxiety can take many forms, but it often involves learning ways to relax your body, eliminating factors that enhance an anxious response, and engaging in productive self-talk. You can lessen anxiety’s effect in your life by finding what relaxation activities work for you, as well as seeking therapy and possibly medication.
The effort to calm your anxiety can take many forms, but it often involves learning anxiety exercises to relax your body, eliminating factors that enhance an anxious response, and engaging in productive self-talk. You can lessen anxiety’s effect in your life by finding what relaxation activities work for you, as well as seeking therapy and possibly medication.
Anxiety involves obsessing about or ruminating on concerns regarding the future, drawing the person out of the present. Physical symptoms of anxiety can include a racing heart or chest tightness. There are many different types of anxiety disorders, each with defining symptoms that can be triggered by different circumstances. Anxiety treatments, including therapy and medication, focus on managing the fear, worry, and nervousness of these disorders by targeting dysfunctional thoughts and behaviors as well as balancing brain chemicals.
“I encourage people to be flexible and consider a range of strategies to manage anxiety. There won’t be one approach that works in all situations. A key is to remember that anxiety is a healthy emotion and, even though it feels uncomfortable, it’s not dangerous. So, the more you choose to tolerate anxiety and still do the things you want to do to meet your goals (even when you feel anxious!), the more your anxiety will go down and not interfere with your life. You choose what you do, not anxiety!” – Bethany Teachman, Professor of Psychology & Director of Clinical Training, University of Virginia
Here are 31 tips for how to calm anxiety:
1. Limit Caffeine & Alcohol Intake
For those who are sensitive and prone to anxiety, consuming caffeine and/or alcohol can enhance or increase feelings of agitation, irritability, or nervousness, so limiting intake of these substances may be helpful.1
2. Try Breathwork & “Belly Breathing”
Attention to diaphragmatic breathing or “belly breathing” has been shown to reduce stress hormones within the body, automatically decreasing the nervous system response, something that is often in overdrive during anxiety.2
3. Try the 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique
“Grounding techniques are steps that one can take to recenter and soothe themselves in the midst of an anxiety attack or period of extreme anxiety. The grounding countdown technique involves naming 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can touch, 2 things you can smell, and either something you can taste or a positive affirmation. This practice will engage all of your tactile and olfactory senses in order to distract you from your racing thoughts and bring you back to yourself.” – Saba Harouni Lurie, LMFT, ATR-BC, Owner + Founder of Take Root Therapy
4. Reframe the Situation in a Less Threatening Way
“If you are anxious about giving a presentation at work, instead of thinking ‘I will look stupid,’ you can think, ‘Most people are unlikely to judge me negatively.’” – Bethany Teachman, Professor of Psychology & Director of Clinical Training, University of Virginia
5. Use Rainbows & Favorite Things to Ground Yourself
“A version of a rainbow meditation is helpful: find three red things where you are, find three orange things, etc. But that can be altered to any favorite thing. Some people might use the letters of their names: find three things that start with C, find three things that start with A, etc. And some people, lots of kids, like to focus on their favorite things. If they love dinosaurs they may try to find things around them that begin with the letters in ‘Tyrannosaurus Rex.’” – Maria Pistorio LPC, NCC
6. Start a Meditation & Mindfulness Practice
Meditation for anxiety and mindfulness practices aim to bring you into the present moment. By developing ways to ground oneself in the present, anxiety can be kept at bay. Additionally, mindfulness-based stress reduction allows the person to become an observer of their own experience, rather than feeling overwhelmed by it.3
“Do a mindfulness exercise where you observe and accept your reaction without judging it – it’s OK to feel anxious, that’s just a feeling and it will pass. When you decide to tolerate anxiety instead of desperately trying to get rid of it, anxiety loses its power and typically diminishes.” – Bethany Teachman, Professor of Psychology & Director of Clinical Training, University of Virginia
7. Temporarily Remove Yourself From the Stressful Environment
“If you’re feeling overwhelmed, it can be helpful to step away from the stressful situation for a few minutes. This will allow your body and mind a chance to reset so that you can come back with a more focused and calm mindset. Additionally, this break can help clear your head and provide some perspective on how best to approach the situation at hand.” – Jeanette Lorandini, LCSW, Owner and Director of Suffolk DBT
8. Journal or Write Down Your Feelings
Journaling for mental health or even making a bulleted list of concerns/worries in the notes section of your phone can help to externalize what some people describe as the “mental clutter” that anxiety can produce. You can also use journaling prompts for anxiety to help track your anxiety and what situations provoke your anxious feelings.
9. Try EFT Tapping
“I find Emotional Freedom Technique (ETF) tapping to be remarkably effective for immediate relief of anxiety. This is a process based on meridian points on the body similar to acupuncture, but using gentle self-administered pressure. It refocuses the negative energy of a bout of anxiety and establishes a more healthy and calm flow of energy.
The physical act of tapping the meridian points is combined with identifying and acknowledging the issue that is causing the anxiety, measuring its intensity, and reciting a supportive phrase during each point of tapping, such as, ‘Even though I feel stressed about work right now, I know that everything is going to be OK.’ You can repeat the process as many times as you like to measure how much your anxiety level decreases.” – Elisa Peimer, LMSW
10. Avoid Negative Self-talk & Self-judgment
Negative self-talk can keep one in the toxic loop of rumination. Try to be kinder to yourself for what you’re experiencing, shifting negative self talk to something more positive.
11. Consider Yoga
Yoga is an activity that incorporates self-compassion, breathwork, and mindfulness, so it makes sense that yoga for anxiety can help calm, center, and ground someone. Yoga serves as a way that one can pay attention to calming down the body.
12. Move a Muscle, Change a Thought
“Spending your days idle without structure will cause you to over-magnify your negative thoughts. The mind is not built to be idle and unstructured. And couch ‘potato-ing’ at home in front of the TV and ‘white knuckle-ing’ your symptoms hoping they will go away is a mistake.
Get moving! Don’t stay in bed all day. Get up at a reasonable hour and make sure you go to bed at a normal time as well. During the day, plan on doing some light exercise like walking or riding a bicycle (can be a stationary bicycle too). Plan to engage with people at least one time per day too, like meeting a supportive friend or relative for lunch.” – John Tsilimparis, MFT
13. Take Breaks Throughout the Day
“When feeling overwhelmed by anxiety, it’s important to take time out of your day for yourself and allow yourself some space and rest. Taking breaks can help reset your mind and body, allowing you to come back feeling refreshed and more capable of dealing with whatever tasks may come your way.” – Jeanette Lorandini, LCSW, Owner and Director of Suffolk DBT
14. Name the Anxiety
One of the things that makes anxiety grow is attempting to avoid it or pretend it isn’t there. You need to openly acknowledge anxiety before you can attempt to calm it. Simple verbalizations to yourself and others such as, “I’ve noticed that I feel anxious when…” can allow you to develop a relationship with your anxious feelings.
15. Get Curious About Your Anxiety
“If you approach your anxiety with curiosity, you will create a little distance between yourself and the feeling and you will be in more of an observation mode. Use your curiosity to investigate all about your anxiety: where do you feel it in your body? Is it connected to a thought or something in your life? Can you identify a need that your anxiety is telling you? Can you address that need?
Perhaps your anxiety feels free floating and not connected to something. If that is the case, you can stay with the feeling, breathe into it and feel what it is like to accept the feeling and not fight it. Simply paying attention to it and being present with it is the beginning of transforming the feeling.” – Anna Hindell, LCSW-R, CIYT
16. Identify the Patterns
Perhaps you notice yourself becoming anxious before going to a party or out to a restaurant, which could suggest social anxiety. Or maybe you become highly anxious before a job interview or a big meeting at work, which could suggest performance anxiety. Learn to identify your patterns so you can be aware of them.
17. Focus on What You Can Control
“It can be easy to feel helpless when experiencing a lot of anxiety, but reminding yourself that there are certain things you have control over can help calm those anxious feelings. Focus on taking small steps towards goals that you know will make you feel productive and accomplished—even if it’s something as simple as making the bed each morning or writing a few lines in a journal.” – Jeanette Lorandini, LCSW, Owner and Director of Suffolk DBT
18. Befriend Curiosity
Similar to mindfulness, developing an attitude of curiosity about anxious feelings can allow you to observe your patterns, ask yourself questions, and to distance yourself from anxiety rather than attempting to exert control or becoming overwhelmed.
19. Time Block “Worry Time”
If you accept that going through anxious feelings is part of your process before something like a work presentation or starting a new job, set an internal boundary. For example, instead of giving in to anxiety for the entire week prior to the presentation, tell yourself that you’ll allow space and time for worry the day before (called activity scheduling). This careful compartmentalization can set limits to how much time anxiety takes away from you.
20. Rehearse or Review With a Friend
Sometimes we feel anxious in a way that is meant to motivate or stimulate us. Channel feelings of anxiety into a rehearsal session or review with a friend rather than stewing in it alone. You can use the anxiety to your advantage to give you a run-through before doing the thing that makes you anxious.
21. Share What’s Going On With Someone You Trust
If you’re experiencing social anxiety, designate a “wing person” with whom you share your struggles before attending an event. This person should be someone you feel safe with, who understands that you might be feeling socially anxious. By not having to explain your social anxiety in the moment, it will likely decrease in their presence.
22. Engage Your Funny Bone
“The experience of humor activates these four categories:
- Wit: Humor instantly shifts anxiety-causing thinking. It provides perspective which reduces anxiety. By far most ‘anxiety’ is caused by thought process. Most people inaccurately attribute their anxiety to external ‘stressors’ but anxiety is not caused by situations but caused by the meaning and reaction we create relative to those situations. anxiety is mostly caused by the way one thinks about the world and situations around them. We know that perspective provides an antidote to anxiety. Humor can create an instant shift in perspective.
- Mirth: Humor instantly shifts distressing emotions such as anxiety. The experience of humor and anxiety cannot occupy the same psychological space. You cannot feel stressed and humor at the same time. When one is feeling pleasure, joy, delight, etc. one cannot experience anxiety. Therefore, a strategy to instantly reduce anxiety is to activate uplifting emotions often by engaging in pleasurable activities.
- Laughter: Laughter is the physical response to humor. In a few seconds deep-heartfelt laughter results in muscle relaxation and thus instantly reduces physical stress and tension.
- Relational Fusion: Humor instantly activates the social glue that binds people. When we are ‘connected’ with others our anxiety is reduced for many reasons including feeling safe and protected when bonded with others.
All of these reactions to humor provide instant cognitive, emotional, physical and social relief and calm anxiety. These reactions to humor also result in physiological changes such as reducing serum cortisol which is commonly known as the stress/anxiety hormone. The feel good endorphins may be released, further calming anxiety.” – Steven M. Sultanoff, PhD, Clinical Psychologist, Professor (Pepperdine University), and Professional Speaker
23. State Expectations or the Obvious
Sometimes simply stating what you’re feeling at the start of a meeting or conversation can serve to burst the anxiety bubble, even though you may feel that you need to hide how you feel. By opening with a comment like, “Public speaking isn’t one of my favorite things, so bear with me if my voice shakes a bit,” will humanize you. Chances are, most people have been in your shoes at some point.
24. Normalize Newness
Anxiety thrives on unknowns, so it can help to normalize that anything new may bring up anxious feelings. Remind yourself that something new is often exciting; check in with yourself to see if perhaps you’re excited/anticipating vs. anxious.
25. Know Your Patterns
Do you struggle with transitions or are you most anxious just prior to an event? Do you notice feelings in your body or in your self-talk that give you clues about anxiety? By recognizing and categorizing your anxious patterns, you effectively disempower anxiety. By familiarizing yourself with your “tells,” you can better manage anxiety before it becomes overwhelming.
26. Use Your Skills Frequently!
“Most people struggle with being inconsistent in utilizing the strategies that work. Therefore, do those things frequently. I often advise my clients to do whichever (healthy) coping skills help them manage their anxiety. Then I’ll ask, ‘So when should you utilize or practice your coping skill(s)?’ Oftentimes they’ll say, ‘When I’m anxious!’ I say, ‘Well yes! But I want you to practice them all the time.’
Use your coping skills when you’re in a good mood, frustrated, content etc. The more you practice them, the more like second nature they become. When you’re feeling dysregulated you are more likely to gravitate towards a healthy coping skill.” – Chartia Byrdsong-Flowers, LCSW, CADC-II, owner of The Wellness Way
27. Remind Yourself That You Can Take a Break
Sometimes anxiety will leave us feeling trapped or stifled, especially if we are experiencing social anxiety. However, we can choose to take a break or a pause at any moment, excusing ourselves to use the restroom or stepping outside for some fresh air. Taking breaks from anxiety-producing stimuli can give us space to recharge before diving back in.
28. Engage Your Body in Your Process
Activities such as body scanning or progressive muscle relaxation can remind you to check in with how your physical being is experiencing what is happening. Using these kinds of body focused tools, we can send messages of safety from our bodies to our brains so that overactivity will calm.
29. Sleep Enough
A body that is chronically unrested is automatically more vulnerable to anxiety or depression. If you notice that you’ve been feeling extra amped up, find ways to increase your sleep. Your nervous system needs the break that is offered by sleep, so don’t undervalue this ingredient in your wellness.
30. Avoid Procrastination
Procrastinating behaviors only fuel anxiety. Create a plan and stick to it, keeping procrastination at bay. Sometimes just the act of creating a plan will calm anxiety as you can rest assured that you’ve done everything within your control to manage what’s happening.
31. Talk to a Therapist
“Some evidence-based therapies for anxiety include cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR), acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), and dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT). CBT involves identifying and challenging unhelpful thoughts and beliefs that contribute to feelings of anxiety. MBSR combines mindfulness meditation with mindful movement and yoga to help you become more aware of the present moment. ACT focuses on acceptance rather than avoidance when it comes to unpleasant emotions and thoughts, allowing you to develop a different relationship with your anxiety. DBT, based on CBT, is a talk therapy that helps you accept the reality of your situation without judgment. It teaches patients to focus on what they can change rather than what they cannot.” – Candace Kotkin-De Carvalho LSW, LCADC, CCS, CCTP, Clinical Director at Absolute Awakenings
When to Seek Professional Help for Anxiety
Though it’s normal to become anxious from time to time or to experience feelings of nervousness, you may want to consider finding a therapist if you have been struggling with feeling anxious for a continued period of time.
Teachman recommends, “If anxiety is getting in the way of you doing the things you want to do and that has been happening for a while, it’s a good idea to get a professional evaluation. For instance, if you’re avoiding doing things that would help advance your career or relationships, or you spend a lot of time worrying and thinking the worst is going to happen, I encourage people to seek help.”
Finding a therapist that is familiar with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) for anxiety, a data-supported intervention for anxiety support, can be especially helpful. An online therapist directory can also point you in the right direction.
Can Anxiety Be Prevented?
While anxiety is bound to happen at some point in anyone’s life, there are ways to set yourself up to handle it well.
Teachman advises, “Anxiety is a normal part of life so people should expect to feel some anxiety. However, here are some ways to reduce the likelihood of experiencing excessive or prolonged fear or worry: practice thinking flexibly instead of jumping to the worst conclusion; take care of your body by getting good sleep, exercise and eating well; try not to avoid things that make you anxious because that makes the anxiety grow—when you face a fear and take on a challenge, the anxiety usually goes down; and remember that you can handle hard things.”
Final Thoughts on How to Calm Your Anxiety
Calming anxiety is a practice, not a one-time solution. That said, developing skills to manage and cope with anxiety can be extremely helpful. By learning how to calm anxiety before you’re in the midst of an anxious moment, you will have the necessary tools to de-escalate your response versus becoming overwhelmed by it.
For Further Reading
How to Calm Anxiety Infographics
