Puppy Blues: Coping With Post-Puppy Depression

The “puppy blues” refers to feelings of overwhelm, sadness, anxiety, or regret that many people experience after bringing home a new dog. While the puppy blues may last a few months, there are ways to cope with and navigate this experience, including connecting with other new dog owners, taking time for yourself, and talking with a therapist.

Causes of the Puppy Blues

There are a number of factors that can cause puppy blues, ranging from sleep deprivation to the realization that you’re responsible for another creature’s life. Understanding the causes of puppy blues can help contextualize and normalize your experience. Some causes may even point to things you can address or actions you can take to better manage your symptoms.

Causes of puppy blues can include:

Changes in Sleep Habits or Quality

Particularly with a puppy, you may now be waking up several times a night either to take them out or comfort them. When you do sleep, you may find that you’re not sleeping as deeply. This lack of sleep can impact your mental health and make it more difficult to regulate your emotions.^1,2 A lack of sufficient and good quality sleep can cause even the most resilient person to feel anxious, depressed, distracted, and overwhelmed.

Changes to Your Daily Routine

In addition to your regular schedule, you now have to factor in walks, play-time, meals, training, and potty breaks. Particularly with a puppy, you may have to carefully plan any outing and learn to navigate new time constraints. These responsibilities can cause a lot of stress and anxiety as you work towards a new normal.

Increased Disruptions

From cleaning up a potty accident to managing a burst of puppy energy, it may feel like you can’t ever just relax or have more than 15 minutes of uninterrupted calm.

Increased Demands on Your Attention

In addition to everything else you do during a normal day, your new dog needs a lot of attention. Even when they’re calm, you have to be vigilant to make sure they don’t get into things that they shouldn’t. This kind of constant attention can be exhausting.

Grieving Your Freedom

Especially with a puppy, even just running to check the mailbox may necessitate a whole new kind of planning. You may have to turn down invitations to get together with friends or forego spontaneous plans because you need to go home to let the puppy out. Grieving the change in the amount of freedom and flexibility you have can show up as irritation, frustration, or the feeling of being trapped.

Lack of Information

Not knowing what’s normal for your dog at its age and stage of development, as well as not knowing how to deal with issues like barking or resource guarding, can make you feel lost. Whether you have a puppy or a new dog, all the things you don’t know can start to feel overwhelming and take up a lot of mental energy.

Unmet Expectations

When bringing a new dog into your life, you probably envisioned all the fun things you’d do together. The reality, at least at first, maynot match up to those expectations. The dissonance between your expectations and reality can make you feel overwhelmed, sad, and disappointed.

Underlying or Preexisting Mental Health Conditions

The changes to your routine, changes in sleep habits and quality, and challenges of integrating a puppy or dog into your life can exacerbate anxiety disorders and depressive disorders. One study found that an unfavorable attitude toward your dog can increase depression symptoms.¹

You may find that you’re more anxious, irritable, or sad, and may even experience more severe symptoms such as having thoughts of suicide. If this change happens shortly after bringing your new dog home, it may be a case of the puppy blues exacerbating a preexisting mental health condition.

Handling the Responsibility of Another Creature’s Life

For many, the reality of being responsible for another creature can bring up intense feelings. You may be feeling a lot of pressure, wondering what this means about how you’d handle being a parent, or thinking about how patterns of discipline or boundaries are showing up from your childhood. It can feel overwhelming, scary, and anxiety-provoking.

When Are Puppy Blues Actually Depression or Anxiety?

While the puppy blues may look like a type of anxiety or depressive disorder, there are distinctions to look out for.³ The stress of integrating a new dog into your life may even trigger these conditions or exacerbate an already known diagnosis. Fortunately, both anxiety and depression are treatable, and getting help as soon as you notice signs can help you start to feel better faster.

If you notice any of the following symptoms, reach out to a mental health professional:

• You’re experiencing suicidal ideation
• You’re feeling anxious about things unrelated to your puppy
• Your symptoms are severe enough that your daily functioning is impacted, such as being unable to get out of bed or being unable to sleep at all
• Your symptoms persist for more than a few weeks without any decrease in severity

When to Talk to a Therapist

You don’t need to wait to talk to a therapist until you’re barely able to function. It’s never too early to reach out for help, and reaching out early can both help prevent things from getting worse and help you to feel better faster.

While it’s common to struggle as you work towards a new normal, speaking with a therapist can be helpful. They can help you determine if what you’re experiencing is the puppy blues or a mental health condition. Additionally, you may be worried about being judged or perceived badly if you share how you’re feeling. A therapist can provide a safe, non-judgmental space to process your experience, and if necessary, treat your symptoms.

If you have mental health conditions that you’re concerned may be exacerbated by bringing home a new dog, or you feel like you may be likely to experience the puppy blues, consider scheduling preemptive appointments with a therapist. A few appointments in those early weeks can help you navigate the tough parts and create more opportunities for enjoying your new dog, or can help you make sure that getting a puppy is the right choice for you. Look for therapists who specialize in working with life transitions.

11 Tips for Dealing With the Puppy Blues

When you’re deciding how to deal with the puppy blues, try to determine what’s causing them. That can help you focus your energy on making changes or integrating strategies that directly relate to your personal experience, a strategy known as problem-focused coping. Remember to be creative and flexible in trying different things. What works for one person may not work another, and what’s helpful to you may change over time.

Here are eleven ways to deal with the puppy blues if your new dog is making you miserable:

1. Ask for Help

Reach out to friends or family members for help. Do you need a meal but just don’t have time or energy to make dinner? Ask a friend if they’d be willing to drop something off. Do you need an hour to run errands or take a nap? Ask someone if they would come over and watch your dog.

2. Connect With Others

Everyone around you may be so excited that it’s hard to admit you’re struggling, and feeling alone often compounds the intensity of the experience. Connecting with others can normalize and validate your experience and provide a lot of relief. Forums like Facebook and Reddit have dedicated groups to those experiencing the puppy blues. Some local humane societies may also offer in-person groups.

3. Call Your Vet

If you’re worried about whether something is normal for your puppy or new dog, give your vet a call. Many vets are able to answer a range of questions over the phone and can help put your mind at ease. Most vets want to work collaboratively with pet owners, and will give you the information and tools you need to make sure your dog’s physical, mental, and behavioral health are in a good place.

4. Do Your Research & Train Your Dog

From books to podcasts to online videos, there’s a wealth of information available on everything, including potty training, barking, and reactivity. Arming yourself with information can help you feel more capable in raising your new dog and integrating them into your life. You may also want to lean on friends or family members who have a well-behaved dog. Ask them what resources they used and if they’d be willing to share.

5. Adjust Your Expectations

Having reasonable expectations that are in line with your dog’s age, developmental phase, breed, and history can help set you up for a happier, more successful experience. For example, expecting a 10-week-old puppy to be completely potty trained is bound to lead to disappointment, frustration, or anger. If you’re not sure what’s reasonable, do some research and talk to your vet.

6. Take a Puppy Class

Classes can empower you with information and techniques to work with your dog. Especially with puppy classes, a class may also be a great place to connect with others who are experiencing the same joys and challenges of puppy parenting.

7. Track & Celebrate Progress

Try picking three main issues and tracking them for two weeks. Keeping track, either on paper or on your phone, can help you notice trends before you get the final result. Tracking and celebrating progress can help you feel more optimistic in the moment and more motivated to keep up the hard work.

8. Take a Break

It’s hard to be attentive, patient, and upbeat about integrating your new dog into your life all of the time. Taking care of yourself is critical, and that includes allowing yourself to take a break. Whether it’s 20 minutes with the puppy in its crate while you have a shower, a two-hour nap while someone else watches over them, or a full day while your dog is in daycare, make time for breaks. Consider trying to build in several small breaks throughout your day.

9. Remember That It’s Temporary

When you’re deep in the puppy blues, an hour can feel like a lifetime! As you can, take things moment by moment, remembering that they will grow up, they will adjust, and you will find a joyful and loving new normal.

10. Give Yourself Grace

The pressure to get everything right can be overwhelming. As you can, give yourself grace. As long as your puppy is safe, has access to food and water, and gets any veterinary care they need, you’re doing just fine. It’s normal to have good and bad days. If things don’t go quite right, take a deep breath and remember that you have many opportunities in the future to do things differently.

11. Talk to a Therapist

Whether it’s a case of the puppy blues, anxiety, depression, or general overwhelm at this life transition, talking to a therapist can be a big help. In addition to treating any mental health conditions you may be experiencing, therapists can provide safe, non-judgmental support. They can help you process the more difficult parts of your experience, and find ways to address the challenges in your circumstances. Online therapy makes finding and connecting with a therapist easy and convenient, but finding a local therapist you can see in person remains a great option for many.

Puppy Blues Infographics