If the thought of going to a party or introducing yourself to someone new sounds like a terrible time, you’re not alone. Social anxiety, defined by excessive fear of certain social situations and specific concerns of being negatively judged by others, can be exhausting and crippling.
While professional treatment is the best option, here are a few of the best books on overcoming social anxiety.
For our audience’s convenience, we’ve included links to websites where these books can be purchased. Choosing Therapy earns no money from the sale or promotion of the vendors, publishers, or authors of the books listed within this article. Read more about our high editorial standards here.
The Best Workbooks for Overcoming Social Anxiety
Practical workbooks offer step-by-step instructions and guidance on dealing with social anxiety, making them a great option for those who might already feel overwhelmed by the idea of tackling it. Conversely, many of these can be used alongside therapy as well.
1. The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook, by Edmund J. Bourne
This therapist-recommended book has been a must-have resource for more than 30 years. This evidence-based book can help you work through common phobias as well as deal with relapses, common stressors, and more. This guide includes relaxation techniques, new research, and information on how nutrition and mindfulness can affect someone’s anxiety. Written by a leading expert in cognitive-behavioral therapy, this go-to guide can be done alone or with therapy.
2. The Anxiety Toolkit: Strategies for Fine-Tuning Your Mind and Moving Past Your Stuck Points, by Alice Boyes Ph.D
If you continuously overthink every situation and expect the worst outcome, this book might help you break free of that cycle. It includes tips on managing your anxiety as well as your symptoms; paralyzing perfection, fear, hesitation, and more. Dr. Boyes uses clinical research and therapy tools to help readers past their “stuck” points and allow them to move beyond their anxiety.
Books for Using Mindfulness to Treat Social Anxiety
Research has shown that mindfulness, the act of being present in the moment and acknowledging your emotions, can be a promising treatment for anxiety. These books encourage using mindful techniques like meditation and guided exercise to treat anxiety.
3. The Mindfulness & Acceptance Workbook for Anxiety, by John P. Forsyth & Georg H. Eifert
This book is based on acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), using mindfulness techniques to help you break free of anxiety spirals and panicked thoughts. It’s not about turning anxiety “off,” rather, this strategy is about giving your emotions the space to exist, recognizing them for what they are, and moving forward with them. You can never truly turn off anxiety, but by spending time with it mindfully, as this book encourages you to do, you can make space to grow past it.
4. The Mindfulness Workbook for Anxiety: The 8-Week Solution to Help You Manage Anxiety, Worry & Stress, by Tanya J. Petersen
If you’ve never tried mindfulness before, this is a good place to start. Research shows that mindfulness can combat anxiety and stress, but you don’t need to meditate for 45 minutes every day to get its benefits. This workbook gives manageable, easy-to-implement prompts, guides, and practical application advice to help you with the stresses of daily life.
5. Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness, by Jon Kabat-Zinn
If you’re anxious, you’re likely stressed too. In the midst of a panic attack or anxiety spiral, taking a minute to breathe can feel impossible, but using mindfulness to combat anxiety is exactly what this book wants you to do. Originally published in 1990, this book describes Kabat-Zinn’s mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBRS) and has continued to be a leading practice for dealing with numerous mental health illnesses, including anxiety.
Books for Building Social Skills
If you struggle with speaking to strangers or making new friends, these books on building social skills might help.
6. The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism, by Olivia Fox Cabane
Contrary to popular belief, charisma isn’t innate—it’s a learned skill that takes time. The Charisma Myth doesn’t just argue that charisma can be learned: using science, research, and personal anecdotes, it gives you the tools you need to use it yourself.
7. How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety, by Ellen Hendriksen
Dr. Hendriksen isn’t just an expert in social anxiety; she’s living with it herself. She knows exactly how cruel that inner critic can be, and how to silence it so you can live your fullest life. Dr. Hendriksen has devoted her career to helping anxious people by looking at the science behind anxiety and how it affects our brains in a non-judgmental and even humorous way. How to Be Yourself combines personal stories with practical advice on building confidence and overcoming anxiety by reminding you that you already have everything you need to succeed.
8. The Social Skills Guidebook: Manage Shyness, Improve Your Conversations, and Make Friends, Without Giving Up Who You Are, by Chris MacLeod MSW
Whether you never know what to say during an awkward conversation or you struggle to make friends in a social setting, this guidebook is here for you. Chris MacLeod, the author behind the site Succeed Socially, has put together tips and tricks like learning body cues during a conversation, learning how to listen appropriately, and increasing your confidence in easy, manageable ways.
Books on the Science Behind Social Anxiety
For analytical anxiety thinkers, knowing how and why our brains give us anxiety can be helpful in overcoming it. These books talk about the science behind anxiety, stress, and more.
9. Worry Trick: How Your Brain Tricks You Into Expecting the Worst and What You Can Do About It, by David A. Carbonell
Brains are a lot like frightened animals. If they perceive a threat, they will trigger a fight, flight, or freeze response. Even when there is no perceivable threat, our brains can trick us into believing there is one, and this leaves us with all the anxiety and none of the danger it’s supposed to precede. Carbonell isn’t trying to get you to stop being anxious; he just wants to help you look at why your brain is tricking you, and how you can course-correct it.
10. Rewire Your Anxious Brain: How to Use the Neuroscience of Fear to End Anxiety, Panic, and Worry, by Catherine M. Pittman and Elizabeth Karle
The brain’s actions are rooted in science. Anxiety, fear, and stress are all scientific reactions of your brain to perceived threats and distress. Psychologist Catherine M. Pittman and author Elizabeth Karle take a dive into what exactly happens to the brain when anxiety attacks so that you can actively train your brain to reconsider.
Books That Aren’t Exactly About Anxiety (But Might Make You Feel Better Anyway)
Anxiety is so tightly woven into other issues it can be hard to talk about it singularly. Hearing from others who have dealt with it, and everything it entails, can feel empowering and hopeful. If you’re feeling isolated by your anxiety, these books are for you.
11. Untamed, by Glennon Doyle
Glennon Doyle, for most of her life, denied that she wanted more out of life. She should be grateful, she thought, for what she had. She worked hard to be a good partner, a good mother, hoping that by being good for others she would find peace. But a chance encounter with another woman forced her to reconcile everything she had thought about living life to please others. While not directly about anxiety, Doyle’s memoir on breaking free from others’ expectations and living a life that is truly hers provides a valuable lesson on what it means to live a full life.
12. Anxiety Insights: What Gets to Us and What Gets Us Through, by Lori Maney Lentini
This book is a series of mini-memoirs about dealing with anxiety and the spectrum of mental illness it encompasses, from PTSD to depression to trauma. But most of all, it’s about understanding others’ struggles in hopes of surviving your own. If you’re feeling isolated by your anxiety, Anxiety Insights reminds you that you are not alone.
13. Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art, by James Nestor
We do it without thinking. We need it to survive. Yet breathing properly, for those with anxiety, can be surprisingly difficult. While not directly about anxiety or stress, James Nestor’s research into the life-sustaining practice of breathing may be enlightening to those curious about why breathing techniques are recommended by so many therapists. By sifting through centuries of medical texts, history, psychology, and pulmonology studies, Nestor asks what does it mean to breathe properly.
14. Things Might Go Terribly, Horribly Wrong: A Guide to Life Liberated from Anxiety, by Kelly G. Wilson, Ph.D.
Anxious people prepare for the worst—literally. Things Might Go Terribly, Horrible Wrong agrees. While anxiety may convince you that something will go wrong when nothing will, there is still a chance something will actually go wrong. This isn’t meant to disparage; rather, this book is about sitting with those fears, accepting them for what they are, and helping you understand that even if the worst does happen, not only will you overcome it, but you’ll likely be just fine in the process. Though this isn’t a workbook like others on this list, it is rooted in cognitive-behavioral therapy and maybe a good accompaniment to professional treatment.
Finding a Therapist Who Can Help You With Your Social Anxiety
Books are a great way to work on your mental health, but they aren’t meant to be a replacement for a licensed mental health professional. If your social anxiety is keeping you from seeing friends, affecting your work, or prohibiting you from enjoying life, it may be time to see a therapist.
Additional Resources
- Bible Verses for Anxiety
- Mental Health America
- National Alliance on Mental Health
- MentalHealth.gov
- Online Therapist Directory: Sort therapists by specialty, cost, availability and more. Watch intro videos and see articles written by the therapists you’re considering working with. When you’ve found a good match, book an online therapy appointment with them directly.
Are you ready to connect with a therapist but feel a little overwhelmed by all your options? Speak with one of Choosing Therapy’s Client Navigators. Client Navigators are mental health professionals who will listen to what you’re looking for in a therapist and help pair you with the best possible fit. Getting started is free, easy, and confidential.
