Social anxiety in children is more than just shyness—it’s a persistent fear of social situations that can interfere with a child’s ability to interact, learn, and thrive. Children often feel insecure about how they are perceived or judged by peers, and fear when they may be put in uncomfortable situations where these insecurities are on display. Fortunately, a combination of therapy, support at home, and, in some cases, medication can help children manage their symptoms and build confidence.
What Is Social Anxiety in Children?
Social anxiety disorder is a condition in which childhood anxiety becomes overwhelming in certain communal situations. This can negatively impact a child’s relationships with others, as they struggle with worries about making friends, meeting new people, and being in new social environments. They are more likely to feel embarrassed, focus on how they are perceived by others, and have heightened fears of rejection. These experiences differ from typical shyness because they often become internalized and can significantly interfere with a child’s daily functioning and development.1
Common symptoms of social anxiety in children include:
- Unhealthy self-consciousness in social situations
- Avoidance behaviors
- Feelings of sadness and helplessness
- Excessive sweating, stomach issues, or blushing
- Feeling anxiously attached to caregivers
- Self-isolation
Find the Perfect Therapist for Your Child
Therapy can change your child’s life. Use the ChoosingTherapy.com Directory to find a licensed therapist near you who specializes in working with children and adolescents. Many therapists accept insurance, offer in-person and online appointments, and have immediate availability.
Possible Causes
There are many reasons a child may develop social anxiety disorder. These behaviors are affected by a number of factors including genetics, environment, among others. Social anxiety disorder is likely to develop following major life events or developmental milestones.2
However, it is important to note that experiencing symptoms of social anxiety is not indicative of a disorder, as social anxiety may occasionally pop up for children during times of stress or discomfort.
Social anxiety in children may be caused by:
Environmental Factors
Children learn and absorb a lot from their environments. They typically learn through observation, which begins at a very young age. Thus, it is believed that parenting styles may increase the risk of childhood social anxiety. For example, parents who choose to adopt an authoritarian approach, which focuses on a parent-led expectation of children’s behavior, can greatly influence a child’s self-esteem. Parents who behave negatively or harshly when their child acts out or exhibits emotion can result in the child accepting false truths about their self-worth.
Additionally, peer pressure can encourage children to participate in things they are uncomfortable with. Because of this, a child may find it easier to learn avoidance strategies, rather than simply refusing to engage. In turn, this can develop into social anxiety the longer it goes unaddressed. Bullying can be harmful, as children may avoid going to school or participating in activities they enjoy due to their negative experiences associated with these environments. Children may become anxious in these social situations, as they fear that they may be bullied or picked on again.4
Genetics
Many studies suggest that anxiety and other mental health issues can be genetic and passed down to children. A child is much more likely to display symptoms of anxiety or social anxiety if they have a parent with the same diagnosis. Therefore, some children may be more predisposed to anxiety disorders from birth, and further develop these behaviors themselves by imitating their parents.3
Brain Development & Functioning
Children who frequently experience intense feelings of fear, anger, or any other emotion are more likely to enter a ‘fight-or-flight’ mode. When this happens, their brain reprograms itself to respond in certain ways to specific situations. Social anxiety may result from poor coping skills, emotional regulation, or emotional expression. Thus, when these types of brain activity continue, social anxiety can increase.2
7 Tips for Helping Children With Social Anxiety
There are a lot of ways for parents to support their child with social anxiety. Doing so can be helpful both at home and at school in collaboration with a teacher or school counselor. It’s important to make this a team approach, and ensure that your child is receiving the same support from every trusted adult in their life.
Below are seven tips for helping a child with social anxiety:
1. Teach Healthy Coping Skills
Teaching a child healthy coping mechanisms is beneficial when dealing with social anxiety. It’s crucial that children know and are able to access tools to help them with self-soothing techniques, and also that parents model these behaviors at home.
Free Coping Skills Worksheets for Kids
2. Build Their Self-Esteem
Parents should continuously focus on building a child’s self-esteem, especially for a child with social anxiety. Try encouraging your child to share their opinions and feelings, offering reassurance and validation, and working on creating a secure attachment with your child. Other family members and trusted adults can also support you with this. Children who have higher self-esteem are more likely to bounce back from negative experiences at school and from other children.
3. Encourage Social Outings
Helping your child with anxiety remain open to social gatherings and situations is important, as these experiences offer them with new learning opportunities. By not avoiding uncomfortable situations, your child can identify new tools to manage their anxiety. Engaging your child in team sports or group activities can be a great way to keep them excited about something and lessen symptoms. If they are engaged in an activity they care about and that brings them joy, it will make certain social situations feel safer.
4. Model Positive Self-Talk
Children learn by observing. If we as parents are exhibiting a lot of anxiety ourselves, this can certainly give children the wrong message about how they are to behave. It’s important that we care for ourselves and ensure we are practicing healthy self-talk so children can learn how to do so themselves.
5. Teach Mindfulness
Mindfulness is beneficial for adults, but showing children how to behave mindfully can help them learn new ways to calm themselves when they are overwhelmed. It is a great way to reduce feelings of anxiety and restless thoughts.
6. Practice Grounding Techniques
Grounding techniques are helpful for children to access when they are overwhelmed. Grounding brings our focus back to ourselves and our body in a given moment. By showing this to our children, we are teaching them to recognize how they can handle anxious thoughts when they arise, and offer guidance and encouragement along the way.
7. Facilitate Cognitive Reframing
This is helpful for children who engage in catastrophic thinking. Cognitive reframing encourages children to look at the same situation from a positive lens. Since anxiety is often rooted in ‘worst case scenario’ mentalities and not reality, cognitive reframing helps children learn that not all of their thoughts are accurate.5
When to Seek Professional Help for Kids With Social Anxiety
It is important to seek professional help if you find that your home-based remedies or tools are not improving your child’s symptoms. While social anxiety cannot be cured, it is absolutely possible to manage it so it does not become a barrier for your child. Children whose parents are involved in their treatment are better able to cope with and adjust to social anxiety.
Treatment Options
Treatment options for a child with social anxiety include:
Therapy
Therapy provides a supportive space where children can explore their feelings, develop coping tools, and build confidence in social situations. Parents can offer their child encouragement by expressing trust in the process. Further, they can feel at ease with the understanding that therapy isn’t a reflection of their parenting, but rather a reflection of how much they love their child. To find the right therapist for your child, consider speaking with their pediatrician, using an online therapist directory, or exploring online therapy platforms, which can provide convenient access to licensed professionals from the comfort of home.
Therapy options for children with social anxiety include:
- Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): CBT for kids helps children learn ways to reprogram their thoughts and actions, so they can feel more in control of their emotions.5
- Family therapy: Family therapy is an approach that involves the whole family, and focuses on how familial dynamics may contribute to a child’s social anxiety. It ensures that all family members have an equal say, with an emphasis on understanding the parental impact on children.
- Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT): MBCT helps children feel more at ease and in control, as they are taught to take a step back from their situation mindfully.
- Play therapy: Play therapy offers children the ability to work through tough emotions through play and thus associate these feelings with positive experiences.
- Group Therapy: Group therapy is a great way for children to learn social skills, work through feelings of insecurity, and practice communication with other children.
Free CBT Worksheets for Kids
Medications
Medications for SAD may be recommended for some children, and SSRIs are the most common type prescribed for the treatment of social anxiety.6
Find the Perfect Therapist for Your Child
Therapy can change your child’s life. Use the ChoosingTherapy.com Directory to find a licensed therapist near you who specializes in working with children and adolescents. Many therapists accept insurance, offer in-person and online appointments, and have immediate availability.
In My Experience
“If your child or a child you love appears to be struggling with social anxiety, there are plenty of support options available to help you both find ways to manage this, work through it, and live fulfilling lives. Don’t lose hope! Working with a therapist is a great way to learn how to move forward in healthy ways. Together you can come up with a plan and strategy to help your child feel more comfortable in their own skin.”
Social Anxiety in Children Infographics
ChoosingTherapy.com strives to provide our readers with mental health content that is accurate and actionable. We have high standards for what can be cited within our articles. Acceptable sources include government agencies, universities and colleges, scholarly journals, industry and professional associations, and other high-integrity sources of mental health journalism. Learn more by reviewing our full editorial policy.
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Fox, N. A., et al. (2021). Understanding the emergence of social anxiety in children with behavioral inhibition. Biological Psychiatry, 89(7), 681-689.
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Moghaddam Poor, N., & Sepahvand, T. (2018). The explanation of social anxiety in primary school children based on difficulties in emotional regulation and cognitive flexibility of mothers. Quarterly Journal of Child Mental Health, 5(2), 14-24.
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Riglin, L., et al (2020). Using genetics to examine a general liability to childhood psychopathology. Behavior Genetics, 50(4), 213-220.
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Goldsmith, H. H., et al. (2022). Childhood inhibition predicts adolescent social anxiety: Findings from a longitudinal twin study. Development and Psychopathology, 1-20.
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Egenti, N. T., et al. (2019). Randomized controlled evaluation of the effect of music therapy with cognitive-behavioral therapy on social anxiety symptoms. Medicine, 98(32).
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Dobson, E. T., Bloch, M. H., & Strawn, J. R. (2019). Efficacy and tolerability of pharmacotherapy for pediatric anxiety disorders: a network meta-analysis. The Journal of clinical psychiatry, 80(1), 14375.
We regularly update the articles on ChoosingTherapy.com to ensure we continue to reflect scientific consensus on the topics we cover, to incorporate new research into our articles, and to better answer our audience’s questions. When our content undergoes a significant revision, we summarize the changes that were made and the date on which they occurred. We also record the authors and medical reviewers who contributed to previous versions of the article. Read more about our editorial policies here.
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Primary Changes: Added Coping Skills for Kids worksheets.
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Primary Changes: Edited for readability and clarity. Added CBT for Kids worksheets.
Author:Silvi Saxena, MBA, MSW, LSW, CCTP, OSW-C
Reviewer:Heidi Moawad, MD
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Additional Resources
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How to Find & Choose the Right Therapist for Your Child
Discovering and selecting the right therapist for your child often comes down to two things: research and persistence. Be willing to put in the time and effort to call around to different therapists or therapy organizations in your area. Read through therapist profiles to see if their style, approach, and expertise resonate with you and your child.
Depression in Children: Signs, Symptoms, & Treatments
If you or someone you know is concerned about symptoms related to depression, seeking professional help from a mental health provider is highly recommended. Licensed professional counselors, social workers, psychologists, or psychiatric medication prescribers are able to determine whether a person is experiencing depression and the best methods of treatment.
