How to Stop Thinking About Someone: 14 Ways to Get Them Off Your Mind

Usually, one of the leading reasons for continually thinking about someone is due to a breakup with a significant other. Most people have experienced this stress of having a relationship end at least once in their adult lifetime. But whether you can’t stop thinking about someone because of a breakup, a lasting crush, or because you’re trying to stay friends with your ex, there are several things you can do to to start refocusing on yourself and getting them off of your mind.

14 Ways to Stop Thinking About Someone

Breaking up with someone or losing touch with a significant person in your life can be challenging. It’s natural for your thoughts to gravitate toward them, leading to rumination and even obsession, making it hard to move on. However, learning how to stop thinking about someone and refocus your mind on other things is essential for your emotional well-being. From cutting off contact to practicing mindfulness, the following tips can guide you through the healing process and help you regain peace of mind.

Here are 14 tips for how to stop thinking about someone:

1. Don’t Make Contact

Many times, people want to “remain friends” after a breakup. This leads to more heartache and less time to heal. When healing, people need space to care for themselves. Contact with the other person leads to caring about what the other person thinks instead of what you need for yourself.

2. Stop Looking at Their Social Media

Looking at their social media page will keep the feelings you have stirred up. Looking at “happy posts” on social media can have a negative impact on your mental health. You will continue to feel hurt as you see them moving on or posting something that is unflattering about you in their social media. The best thing to do is delete them from your social media.

3. Turn to Your Support System

During this time, your family and friends are going to want to make sure that you are okay. Allow yourself to share your feelings with them and let them be there for you. They will understand and listen to what you say and might have some good advice on how to get over the relationship.

4. Focus on Self-Acceptance

Use this time to look at yourself and grow. Find worth within yourself instead of extracting it from another person’s approval. Focusing on your self worth can build self esteem and allow you to create a more loving relationship with yourself.

5. Love Yourself

You deserve the same love that you would give anyone else. If you have a challenging time loving yourself, now is the time to start. Giving yourself affirmations is one way you can start the process. You can also show yourself love by taking care of yourself.

6. Allow Yourself to Feel the Pain

Often when a person is hurting, they want to mask it or find a way to stuff it. Instead, allow yourself to feel the pain and sit with it. This will help you deal with the pain and move on.

7. Be Yourself

Remember first and foremost that you are you. You do not have to try to be who anyone else wants you to be, you just need to be yourself. You can change for yourself, but you should not change for another person. Be proud of who you are.

8. Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness is about staying present in the here and now. Practice ways you can do that so that you won’t focus on the other so much. Remember that you have a lot to look forward to in the here and now.

9. Realize You Don’t Need Them

Healthy relationships are built on wanting to be with the other person, not needing to be with them. If you find yourself thinking you need them, then identify what need they fulfilled for you. Once you identify what need they filled, ask how you can fill that need yourself.

10. Invest In Your Hobbies

Take time to rediscover the things you love to do. Spend time reading a book, going surfing, taking a long hike, or sitting in the mall watching people, or doing whatever makes you happy.

11. Identify Areas You Would Like to Grow in for Yourself

Everyone has things they’d like to change about themself. Now is a good time to start thinking about how you want to change. Do you need to work on time management or being more assertive? This is the time to help yourself grow in the ways you want to.

12. Develop Your Career Goals

What goals do you have for your future? Maybe you have been putting off going back to school or applying for that job you really want. Now is a suitable time to examine the goals you have and where you are currently. Once those are identified, then decide where you need to act and do it.

13. Invest in Something Outside Yourself

Take time to invest in others. Now is a good time to invest in others such as a soup kitchen, animal shelter, or other volunteer positions that interest you. This will help fill your time, leave less time to think about the other person, and give back to others.

14. Accept That You’re Having a Challenging Time

Accepting that your thoughts will wander toward that person is a way to help you forget. When your thoughts turn toward that person, acknowledge the thought and then distract yourself with other thoughts.

Reasons You Can’t Stop Thinking About Someone

There are many reasons why you might find it difficult to stop thinking about someone, especially if it’s someone you once had an intimate relationship with. Understanding the reasons behind your preoccupation with them can be the first step in finding ways to regain control over your thoughts.

Possible reasons you can’t stop thinking about someone include:

• Emotional attachment
• Lack of closure
• Unresolved feelings or conflicts
• Loneliness
• Idealization of the person or your relationship with them
• Unmet needs or desires
• Frequent reminders or triggers in your environment.

When Thinking About Someone Is a Problem

It can be problematic if you can’t stop thinking about someone when it begins to interfere with your daily life and emotional well-being. It can lead to distress and make it difficult to focus on other important aspects of your life.
Some signs thinking about someone constantly has become a problem include:

• Inability to concentrate on daily tasks or work
• Persistent feelings of sadness
• Avoidance of social activities
• Intrusive thoughts that you can’t control
• Neglecting personal responsibilities
• Disrupted sleep patterns

If you experience any of these signs that indicate you’re having problems from thinking about someone too much, it’s important to talk to a therapist. Therapy can help you understand your thoughts better and learn healthier coping strategies to regain balance and improve your overall emotional health.

Where to Get Help

If you continue to struggle and can’t get that certain someone off your mind, it may be a good time to get help. Therapists are trained to work with you on strategies to overcome these feelings. Finding a good fit with a therapist can be challenging. But you can find a therapist through an online platform like Talkspace or BetterHelp, or use an  online therapist directory to find either an in-person therapist or online therapy option.