Why Do I Cry So Much?

Why Do I Cry So Much?

Experiencing the full range of emotions is healthy and normal. While crying is a natural and healthy physical and emotional response to distress, if you are wondering why you cry so much or crying every day and it is interfering with your ability to function in daily life, professional help may be warranted.

The reason you are crying a lot might be related to:

• personality traits/temperament
• hormonal changes
• loss and grief
• overwhelming situational stress
• medical conditions, chronic pain, or medication side effects
• an important issue in your life that needs attention

Is It Normal to Cry Every Day?

While most people don’t cry every day, depending on what you are dealing with, it might be considered “normal” or expected  in your specific circumstances. If you are a highly sensitive person, you might naturally be more emotional. If you are grieving a loss, crying can also be a natural way to express and release your sadness.

Alternatively crying frequently might be a symptom of physiological or psychological conditions that require assessment and treatment. This is particularly important if your crying episodes are impacting your self-esteem, relationships, and/or ability to complete daily tasks at work, school, or home.

What Does It Mean if I Cry Easily?

There are many potential reasons for why people seem to cry for no reason or can’t stop crying. Some people cry easily because they are naturally very sensitive people. Others find they cry easily only when they are feeling overwhelmed due to situations and pressures beyond their control. And for others, crying easily and often might be a symptom of psychological/physiological conditions that require attention.

11 Reasons for Crying

The crying response, with visible tears, appears to be unique to human beings. The biological mechanisms involved in crying include the vocal system, facial muscles, and the lacrimal gland which is responsible for releasing emotional tears.¹ It has been suspected that the hormone prolactin (higher in women) reduces the threshold for crying, while testosterone (higher in men) increases it.²

Common reasons why people cry include:

1. Grief – Mourning a Loss

Grieving the loss of a loved one, a job, a relationship, your health (due to an emerging or chronic medical condition), etc., can be associated with increased episodes of crying, particularly during the early stages of grief. Crying, while mourning a loss, is a natural and healthy way to release the emotional and physical distress that are part of normal grief.

2. Pseudobulbar Affect

Pseudobulbar Affect (PBA) is a neurological disorder which reduces one’s ability to manage emotions and is characterized by uncontrollable, exaggerated, and sometimes inappropriate emotional outbursts, such as crying (or laughing).³ It is often associated with other neurological conditions, and most commonly with Parkinson’s, Alzheimers, MS, traumatic brain injury, stroke, or ALS.

• Behavioral training: There is currently no conclusive evidence that behavioral training is effective at managing symptoms of PBA. One case study (i.e., a single patient), however, reported success in managing symptoms after use of a self-control intervention focused on breathing.⁴
• Medication: Treatment is typically managed through administration of the medication dextromethorphan/quinidine, which is the only medication approved by the FDA for the treatment of this condition.⁵ Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) and Tricyclic antidepressants (TCAs) have also been used with some success.⁶

3. Hormonal Changes

While it is known that women experience hormonal changes at different times in their lives (e.g., menstruation, PMS, pregnancy, menopause) and these appear to be linked to more frequent crying – how hormones are actually related to emotional crying, remains a mystery which researchers are still trying to untangle.⁷

It has been suggested that prolactin hormone levels which tend to be higher in women than men (are associated with a lowered threshold for crying), and that increases in prolactin can lead to more frequent crying. There is, however, no conclusive evidence to back this up.^{1, 8}

4. Depression

Excessive crying, as well as the opposite ( i.e., inability to cry at all), can be symptoms of more severe depression. There is evidence that frequent crying, as a symptom of depression, is significantly more prevalent in females as compared to males.⁹

5. Feeling Overwhelmed/Stressed

Feeling highly stressed and overwhelmed due to situations in one’s life can happen when your capacity to cope with distress is exceeded. In such cases, crying can be a natural response to unbearable emotional, physical, and/or spiritual pain, and a way to express and release some of it.

6. Trauma

Excessive crying can follow exposure to trauma (e.g., war, sexual or physical assault, racism, accident). While in the majority of cases, acute traumatic stress symptoms will resolve within 4 weeks of the trauma event, if your distress stays or worsens beyond a month, you should speak with a trauma therapist, since PTSD might be settling in and you will need help to address it.

7.Chronic Pain

Unmanaged chronic pain can be exhausting and at times can lead to feelings of despair, hopelessness, and grief. Crying can be a way to release some of the physical and emotional pain of this medical condition. In such cases, it is important to connect with a professional to explore ways to cope with and manage your distress, as well as obtaining support.

8. Burnout

Burnout can result from work-related stress or other life responsibilities and can leave you feeling emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted. It can also lead to feelings of despair, demoralization, and lack of meaning. Frequent crying might be a symptom of burnout. Consulting with a professional is recommended.

9. Toxic Relationships

If you are in an ongoing abusive or unhealthy relationship, frequent crying might be a symptom of deep distress. In these cases it is important to speak with a professional to help you to explore and address concerns in the relationship (e.g., what you are expecting, what is actually happening, what is in your control, boundary setting, safety planning).

10. Symptom of Medical Condition

Frequent crying might be a symptom of an undiagnosed medical condition (e.g., neurological illness, PTSD, bi-polar) that needs to be assessed and treated. Take note of any other changes you notice in your health, thoughts, and behaviors and consult with your doctor and/or a therapist if you have concerns.

 11. Medication Side Effects

Some medications can lead to anxious or depressive types of symptoms that might include frequent crying. If you notice that you began to cry more frequently after starting a new medication, talk to your pharmacist or doctor to clarify if this is a potential medication side effect.

Personality & Crying

Personality traits and temperament can influence crying frequency, whereby more highly sensitive people or those who experience deeper empathy for the feelings and suffering of others, will tend to experience a lower threshold to crying. If the frequency of crying is causing distress, you might want to explore ways to protect yourself from over-empathizing with other people, and strategies for self-care and self-soothing.

Environmental & Social Influences

Family, community, and cultural norms and expectations regarding crying – either explicit or implied – can either inhibit or support the expression of emotional tears. There might be different expectations based on age, gender, and/or situations where it is “acceptable” to cry. Likewise, whether a person is supported, or punished/shamed for crying by those around them can also impact the frequency of crying.

Benefits of Crying

Crying is a natural emotional response to distress that for some people, can provide an emotional and physical release. Some of the benefits of crying include:

• Signaling to you that you are hurting and need extra self-compassion and self-care
• Releasing overwhelming distress that is interfering with your ability to function or think clearly, thereby allowing you to feel grounded again
• Letting others know you are distressed, which might then elicit helping and supportive responses
• Resetting or soothing your mood

While there are speculations that crying releases neurotransmitters that can soothe the nervous system, there is currently no evidence to support this.¹

When Crying All The Time Becomes a Concern

Excessive crying can become a concern if it begins to impair your ability to function at home, work, or in social situations for more than a few days. However, crying that is associated with loss or grief might cause disruption to your life that lasts for longer than a few days, but this is a normal reaction and is not considered excessive. It can also be a concern if crying leaves you feeling worse, rather than providing some relief from your distress.

Uncontrollable crying that leads to impairment, but is not related to a recent loss, should be assessed by a mental health therapist and/or physician since it could be a sign that there are important personal issues, or a medical condition, that require attention.

Side Effects of Crying All of the Time

For some, frequent crying can lead to some distressing side effects such as:

• Swollen/irritated eyes
• A tension or sinus headache
• Jaw pain (due to clenching)
• Physical/emotional exhaustion

How to Cope When You’re Crying All The Time

When experiencing excessive crying, there are several types of emotional regulation strategies you can try to help manage your distress. What works for one person might not work well for another. It is important to try different strategies to find what works for you.

Here are some common coping strategies when you’re crying all the time to try:

• Mindfulness techniques: Mindfulness strategies help you to get out of negative thought spirals in your head that are adding to your distress and eliciting or increasing tears. These strategies involve focusing your conscious attention on the present moment using your senses  in order to anchor your mind and body in this moment.
• Meditation: Guided meditation can help you to focus on physical relaxation and letting go of emotional stress, sadness, etc. (There are many types of guided video and audio meditations available online).
• Building a supportive social network: Having a few supportive people (professionals and/or personal relationships) whom you can be honest with and share your sadness can help to reduce distress and a sense of aloneness. Choose people who are non-judgmental and willing to try to understand.
• Scheduled crying: For some, scheduling a daily 20-minute crying session will allow for honoring and expression of sadness, while containing it to a particular time in the day. This can reduce impairment and disruption throughout the day, since the mind and body know that you will make time for it during your day.
• Massage therapy: Sadness can be felt physically in the body. Massage therapy can be a way to physically reduce some of the distress you are holding.
• Distraction from distressing thoughts: If you are finding it difficult to get out of negative thought spirals that are driving your tears, you might want to try distracting yourself, rather than just allowing the thoughts to continue unchecked. Examples of distraction are:  watching a movie, reading a book, doing yoga, giving your room a cleaning.
• Self soothing: Self-soothing strategies focus on your senses to increase feelings of comfort and wellbeing. Some examples include:  looking at and listening to nature, listening to calming music, petting an animal, wearing comfortable clothes, eating a favorite food, lighting a scented candle.
• Journaling: Some people find that writing out how they feel can be a means of externalizing distress (i.e., moving it from inside you, to outside you on a page). This can make it easier to explore, understand, and release some of it. Journaling for mental health can be done in sentences, drawings, mind maps, symbols, or a combination of these.
• Physical activity: Since emotional distress is an energy that is held in the body, sometimes that energy can be transformed and released through physical activity. You might want to start with a body scan to notice where you are holding emotional distress in your body. Then, consciously focus on using the energy in that part of the body as you stretch it out, or do targeted exercises to release it.
• Creativity: For some, engaging in creative activity (e.g., singing, playing an instrument, creating art) is an effective way to release pain. Choosing to consciously express your distress through your art might allow you to release some of it and reduce crying frequency.
• Spiritual surrender: If you are feeling overwhelmed and hopeless, and if you believe in a higher power, you might want to try spiritual surrender. While there are likely to be some tears while doing this, you might start to notice that you don’t cry a often.

To do this, find a private place, imagine your heart opening and offer all that you are feeling, thinking, and struggling with to your higher power, with a simple prayer, such as, “Here I am…I ask for your guidance and help.”  No further words are needed beyond that. Just be and surrender to the reality of what you are experiencing in the moment.

When to Seek Professional Help for Crying All The Time

If you are crying so often that it is interfering in your daily life, your relationships, and/or your work, seeking professional help is a good idea. If frequent crying doesn’t provide any sense of relief from your distress, or leaves you feeling even worse, these are also signs that professional help might be warranted.

There are a number of ways that you can find a therapist. Some people prefer to get a referral from their doctor, or through a loved one. Another resource is an online therapist directory which can provide you with information on therapists in your area, their areas of specialization, and what types of therapy they use.

It is a good idea to ask for a free consultation (usually 15 or 20 minutes) with any therapists you are considering. This will allow you to meet them, get to know how they work, and get a sense of whether they seem like someone you could work with.