What Is an Empath? Definition, Signs, & How to Manage as One

What Is an Empath?

Although it is not a clinical term, an empath is a person who is increasingly sensitive to other people’s needs, feelings, and inner worlds. They tend to feel very deeply, and their heightened levels of empathy can make it hard to separate someone else’s experience from their own. While empaths can enjoy meaningful relationships, they may be prone to cycles of codependent behavior and prone to empathy burnout.

An empath would argue that they don’t just experience empathy- they actually take on the pain and emotional states of others. Someone else’s sadness becomes their sadness. Empaths have similarities with highly sensitive people and can have traits of both. However, the empath may be more intuitive and especially sensitive to other people’s emotions.

The types of empaths include:

• Emotional: Emotional empaths mostly absorb other people’s feelings.
• Physical: Physical empaths mostly absorb other people’s physical sensations as well as what’s happening in their own bodies.
• Intuitive: Intuitive empaths may have a “gut feeling” or sense of being able to predict the future due to their ability to read subtle signs in people’s expressions, voices, and behaviors. They may seem to experience life beyond the realms of standard human communication.
• Dark: Dark empaths use their ability to understand another person’s feelings to exploit another person’s emotions.

12 Signs of an Empath

There is little research on which populations are most likely to be empaths. In addition, empaths don’t fit within a single box, as everyone has unique differences in their behaviors and needs. However, empaths may exhibit common characteristics and traits in their relationships and lives.

Twelve signs of an empath are:

1. Heightened Sense of Empathy

Having increased empathy is the most universal trait of empaths. Research shows there are two kinds of empathy: cognitive and affective. Cognitive empathy includes people who are able to understand someone else’s perspective logically. Affective empathy consists of our feelings and reactions in direct response to someone else’s emotions, which is responsible for mirroring.¹ Empaths may have disproportionate levels of affective empathy and may even experience second-hand embarrassment over situations that happen to other people.

2. Easily Emotionally Drained

Empaths can be at a higher risk for sensory overload and burnout. Because they deeply feel emotions, they may be overly vulnerable when exchanging emotional material with others. In a sense, they don’t know how to turn down the emotional volume, so things always feel intense.

3. Increased Sensitivity to Criticism

Empaths may be more sensitive to feedback and criticism. Their sensitivity could result from a desire to be liked coupled with being overly self-critical. It may also coincide with traits of rejection-sensitive dysphoria. The empath may worry more about hurting someone else’s feelings than valuing their own needs.

4. Conflict Avoidance

Empaths often want to keep the peace, causing them to avoid interpersonal conflict at all costs. As a result, they might engage in avoidance behaviors, like suppressing their emotions, procrastinating, escapism, or canceling plans at the last minute. If these behaviors are chronic, they can be detrimental to relationships.

5. Lack of Boundaries

Empaths often struggle with identifying and setting healthy boundaries. They tend to value other people’s needs above their own. They may also be accustomed to relationships where someone else’s needs take precedence.

6. Self-Isolation

An empath may withdraw from or avoid intimate relationships because they fear getting hurt. Or, they fear getting so invested that it becomes too consuming for their emotional well-being. As a result, they choose to spend time alone.

7. Feeling Different From Others

Empaths often describe feeling misunderstood. These feelings typically begin from a young age. Empaths tend to make connections or recognize patterns other people often overlook. They may also feel things much deeper than the average person. This difference may exacerbate feelings of insecurity or can trigger empaths to try to conform.

8. Needing Lots of Alone Time to Regroup & Recharge

Because empaths feel so sensitive to the world around them, they can tire quickly. They may also feel emotionally drained during everyday conversations. That’s because they can’t “turn off” their emotional states. So instead of trying to ground themselves with others, they often choose to do so alone.

9. Working in Nurturing Roles

Many empaths find themselves in people-facing helping professions like doctors, teachers, nurses, therapists, or massage therapists. These careers allow them to use their natural skillset to connect to others and provide essential services. The downside is that they may spend all their time nurturing, causing them to have little emotional space left for themselves.

10. Preferring Smaller Groups or One-On-One Conversations

Empaths tend to absorb all kinds of energy, so being in a crowd can amplify various emotional states and increase the chance of feeling overwhelmed. Therefore, spending time with just a few people or individuals typically feels comfortable.

11. Sensory Sensitivities

Empaths may be more sensitive to external stimuli, including specific sounds, fragrances, tastes, textures, and sounds. These sensory processing issues often begin in childhood, and it can cause young kids to throw tantrums or become extremely frightened.³ As an adult, sensory sensitivities often result in feeling anxious and physically uncomfortable.

12. History of Trauma

Some research suggests that childhood trauma may increase how someone takes another person’s perspective. A meta-analysis showed that adults with traumatic histories had higher empathy levels than adults without. The severity of the trauma also coincided with empathy levels.² This phenomenon may be due to how we intimately connect with others based on shared experiences.

Pros & Cons of Being an Empath

Being an empath can be an incredible strength, especially when it comes to understanding and connecting with others. If you value helping people, empathy is the glue that fosters strong relationships. But while being an empath may allow you to nurture others well, you might feel neglected as a result. You may also find yourself struggling with boundaries, self-worth, and establishing your own identity.

The benefits and drawbacks of being an empath may include:

How to Manage as an Empath

If you have some or many traits of an empath, it’s critical to focus on taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Regardless of how you feel about others, prioritizing yourself is important. There’s a well-known saying that you can’t pour from an empty cup, and this mantra applies to people who frequently struggle with overextending themselves or disregarding their needs.

Empaths can manage their well-being without becoming drained by:

Spend Time in Nature

The research on nature and mental health shows that spending even just a few minutes outside can help you feel happier and decrease emotional distress.⁴ Try to find an activity you enjoy and prioritize it regularly. Remember that what you do outside matters less than the commitment to being outside.

Prioritize Self-Care

Emotional self-care is essential for empaths. Practicing self-care techniques like self-soothing, meditating, and journaling can improve your mental health and bolster greater self-esteem. Additionally, it’s essential to avoid activities that may deplete your emotional wellness, like substance use, or compulsive shopping.

Practice Self-Compassion

Learning how to love yourself is important for empaths. Internalizing criticism often results in negative self-talk and can reinforce low self-esteem. You can overcome your inner critic by practicing tenets of self-kindness and mindfulness and reminding yourself that everyone experiences difficult emotions.⁵

Set Limits

It’s important to establish relational boundaries with others. It’s reasonable to care about people’s emotional well-being, but you can’t control how people act, and you aren’t responsible for fixing their every problem. Remind yourself that you have the right to set boundaries around what is and isn’t acceptable in your relationships.

Embrace Hobbies & Passions

Relationships are important to our well-being, but empaths can benefit from balancing their relational needs with needs rooted in personal development and fulfillment. Enjoying hobbies also provides a sense of meaning, which can help with strengthening your self-identity.

When to Seek Professional Help

Empaths can be at a heightened risk for depression and anxiety, and empaths may be vulnerable to the impact of trauma or interpersonal stress. If you’re struggling with these experiences- or you just feel emotionally exhausted- you may benefit from seeking professional support. Several online therapy options allow you to find an accessible and convenient therapist who can help you develop boundaries and manage your empathy. You can also facilitate the process of finding a therapist using an online therapist directory.

Therapy for empaths may include:

• Ecotherapy: Ecotherapy, also known as nature therapy, emphasizes purposefully spending time outside, and it’s often integrated with various therapeutic modalities.
• Walk and talk therapy: Walk and talk therapy is another form of ecotherapy that can help with self-esteem, anxiety, and relational issues.
• Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT): CBT focuses on the relationship between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, and it can help you reframe negative thoughts you have about yourself or others.
• Motivational interviewing: Motivational interviewing helps people work through themes of ambivalence, and it can support you in positively changing behavior.
• Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT): DBT can be helpful for people who experience emotions intensely, and it can help you learn new distress tolerance and emotion regulation skills.

In My Experience

We all experience emotions, but we express them differently. Empaths value having close relationships, but they also can be more susceptible to relational distress. In general, it’s important to balance both autonomy and connectivity. If you are struggling with this balance, seeking therapy can help.