Agender Vs. Nonbinary: Definitions, Differences, & Pronouns

What Is Gender Identity?

A person’s gender identity is not always the same as their sex. Gender identity refers to how a person expresses their identity whereas sex refers to the physiological sex a person was assigned at birth. Gender refers to socially constructed roles, traditionally the feminine and the masculine, which are present in a culture.

The belief that there are only two gender identities, feminine and masculine, reflects a gender binary. This model fits only individuals who identify as cisgender, meaning their sex assigned at birth aligns with their gender expression. For instance, biological males who express a masculine identity are cisgender. However, individuals who identify as agender, nonbinary, or transgender do not fit within the gender binary. There are many genders beyond male and female.

The Difference Between Sex & Gender

Some people assume that sex and gender are the same, but these are two distinct traits.² Sex is a biological characteristic that is often considered a binary trait, either female or male. However, some people are born intersex, reflecting a combination of male and female anatomical organs. Gender, however, is a more expansive concept that is socially constructed and reflects a person’s felt sense of their identity.

Often used interchangeably, sex and gender have different meanings:

• Sex: This is a biological characteristic and refers to the male-female binary.
• Gender: This refers to one’s unique gender identity which can vary from one’s sex and can reflect a much more expansive range of identities.

Gender Identity Vs. Sexual Orientation

Gender identity refers to a person’s felt sense of gender and a person’s gender identity does not always reflect their sex. Another aspect of identity is a person’s sexual orientation; this refers to a person’s sexual attraction to others rather than a person’s own identity. Sexual orientation is believed to be affected by a variety of factors, including immunological processes, genetics, and hormones.³

What Does Being Agender Mean?

While many people assume that everyone’s sex assigned at birth will be congruent with their gender identity, this is not the case. Some individuals have no sense of gender identity and do not identify with being male or female, regardless of their sex. Being agender, or gender-neutral, is defined by the absence of identification with any gender.

Other terms to describe the agender experience include:

• Genderfree
• Gendervoid
• Neutrois
• Genderblank
• Non-gendered/Ungendered
• Genderless
• Null-gender

What Does Being Nonbinary Mean?

Nonbinary refers to those individuals who fall outside the traditional male-female gender binary. While not all nonbinary individuals consider themselves to be transgender, nonbinary is the umbrella term for people who do not identify with the sex they were assigned at birth. Similarly, while all agender people are nonbinary, not all nonbinary people are agender.

Non-binary individuals may embrace aspects of both femininity and masculinity in their identities or they may reject all aspects of traditional male and female identities, as in the case of agender people.⁴ Nonbinary individuals represent a diversity of gender identities and gender expressions.

Examples of how nonbinary people experience gender include:

• Combination of man and woman
• Neither man nor woman
• Third gender
• Genderfluid

Other Nonbinary Identities

Individuals who feel their gender identities do not fit solely within the gender binary exhibit a range of identities underscoring the diversity of gender identification and expression. Nonbinary individuals may embrace or reject aspects of identity that are traditionally associated with their biological sex. A variety of identities fall under the nonbinary umbrella and each individual’s experience of identity is unique.

Other nonbinary identities include (but are not limited to):

• Androgyne: A person whose gender expression may combine both aspects of masculine and feminine identity. They may have an indeterminate gender appearance.
• Bigender: A person who embraces aspects of both the female and male identity as well as potentially a third gender is called bigender.
• Demigender: These individuals feel a stronger connection to a particular gender identity but do not feel that one gender fits them exclusively.
• Genderqueer: A person who does not fit within the gender binary, but may feel that they belong to a third gender or a combination of two or more genders.
• Gender fluid: People who identify as gender fluid may experience identification with different genders over time. Their gender identity is not static.
• Gender-nonconforming: This term describes persons who reject the gender binary’s expectations for behavior or appearance.
• Gender creative: This term is similar to nonbinary in that it serves as an umbrella term for any individual whose identity does not fall into the appropriate category of the gender binary.
• Pangender: This word is used to describe individuals who may express a variety of gender identities, possibly simultaneously or more fluidly over time.
• Two Spirit: This term originated with Native Americans and it describes people whose gender is a blending of male and female aspects.

Difference Between Agender Vs. Nonbinary

People who identify as agender simply do not feel that they belong to any gender; their identity as individuals does not include a gendered component.⁵ Some agender individuals may see themselves as lacking a gender and others may see themselves as being gender neutral. Agender individuals are considered part of the larger category of nonbinary individuals because they do not fit into the male-female binary.

The term nonbinary includes multiple other identities beyond agender. There are categories of nonbinary individuals who may lean into one gender identity, such as the masculine, although they also express aspects of the feminine. Some nonbinary people identify as a third gender which is neither masculine nor feminine. Agender individuals are just one group of individuals who fall under the nonbinary umbrella.

Agender & Nonbinary Pronouns

While some people may not think pronouns are important, the use of the proper pronouns can be extremely important to agender and nonbinary individuals. Use of the correct pronoun validates a person’s identity and lets them know that they are “seen.” In addition, choosing to use the correct pronoun is important to the overall wellbeing of those who do not identify within the gender binary.⁶

Cisgender individuals, meaning their gender identity matches their sex assigned at birth, typically use the gender appropriate pronouns. Because agender and nonbinary individuals have identities that don’t fit standard gendered pronouns, they often select, or create, their own pronouns. These include the singular he/she pronouns or the multiple they, or other pronouns that they prefer and that feel right for them.

Common pronouns used by agender and nonbinary identities:

• they/them/theirs
• she/her/hers
• he/him/his
• xe/xir/xyr
• ze/zim/zirs
• sie/hir/hirs
• zie/zir/zirs
• ey/em/eirs
• per/per/pers
• ne/nem/nirs
• ve/ver/vis

How to Support Someone Who is Agender or Nonbinary

When someone shares with you that they are agender or nonbinary, actively respect this important aspect of identity. By sharing this with you, they are showing they feel safe enough to trust you. Although gender identity is just one aspect of identity, gender diversity can be judged harshly. Your support is important and there are a variety of ways to show it.

Ways to support people with agender or nonbinary identities include:

• Use the pronouns they ask you to use: Using the correct pronouns is a basic way to show respect and validate the other person.
• Use the name they prefer: Sometimes agender or nonbinary individuals will change or alter their names to better reflect how they see themselves.
• Don’t make assumptions about people’s gender: If you don’t know a person’s gender or preferred pronouns, don’t make assumptions about their gender.
• Use non-gendered language: Recognizing that people are people first, rather than their genders, practice using open and inclusive language.
• Advocate: Be an active ally where you can. Correct people who misgender others or those who use incorrect pronouns.
• Learn more about gender identities: The more you know about gender identities, the more effective an ally you can be. By growing your knowledge, you’re showing your commitment to diversity and acceptance.
• Be present and listen: Understanding another person’s experiences can be an excellent way to learn more about others’ perspectives and challenges. By learning about what struggles others face, you can be more proactive in helping remove obstacles or shift your own behavior to be more supportive.
• Don’t overwhelm the person with questions: It is okay to invite the person to share about themselves, but don’t ask too many questions or too personal questions.

When to Seek Professional Help

Even before an agender person “comes out” regarding their gender identity, they may struggle internally as they try to figure out why they feel “different” from others or feel discomfort in their bodies related to their biological sex. Seeking professional support as they wrestle with their own gender identity may be helpful.

Unfortunately, nonbinary individuals face risks to their wellbeing, including discrimination, microaggressions, and harassment, that may lead to higher levels of depression and suicidal ideation⁷ and which may be best addressed with a professional therapist. For some clients, working with a therapist via online therapy platforms can be especially rewarding due to the ease of access.

In My Experience

In my experience, I have seen just how important it is that each person feels safe in acknowledging and claiming every aspect of their unique identity. Gender identity is a very personal aspect of identity, but one that others feel they have the right to question or judge. This can lead to psychological and emotional distress for agender and other nonbinary individuals. Strong support networks can make a significant difference in a person’s ability to manage identity stress as well as build self-confidence and provide a sense of belonging. These can make a significant difference in how obstacles are perceived and how easily they are overcome.