Anxiety After a Breakup: 16 Tips to Cope

What Is Anxiety?

Anxiety goes beyond typical day-to-day worries and is often linked to intense feelings of fear, panic, nervousness, or unease. Common symptoms include racing or catastrophic thoughts, irritability, restlessness, and a sense of losing control. While situational anxiety usually subsides once the source of stress is resolved, chronic anxiety persists, often feeling excessive and difficult to explain.¹

Anxiety stems from the body’s natural fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response. When triggered appropriately—such as when facing immediate danger, like being chased by a bear—it serves a protective purpose.² However, a prolonged reaction to this response isn’t healthy and, over time, can negatively impact both your physical and mental health.²

Is Anxiety After a Breakup Normal?

Yes, experiencing anxiety after a breakup is normal. While many people expect emotions like grief after a break up or anger, anxiety is a common but less recognized response. Breakups often trigger uncertainty about the future, self-doubt, and a flood of racing thoughts. This anxiety can manifest through rumination—repeatedly replaying events or mistakes from the relationship—or worrying about missed warning signs.

Some may feel trapped in thoughts of never moving on, struggling to connect with someone new, or fearing they’ll never have a healthy relationship again. These reactions are part of the adjustment process and typically improve with time and coping strategies.

Symptoms of anxiety after a breakup may include:

• Intrusive thoughts
• Difficulty sleeping
• Lack of appetite or an increase in appetite
• Irritability with people around you
• Feeling restless
• Racing thoughts
• Catastrophizing
• Nausea and stomach upset
• Decreased sex drive
• Racing heart
• Cynicism/pessimism about the future
• “What if” thoughts
• Increased worries about social performance

16 Coping Skills for Breakup Anxiety

A breakup is a huge change that can also come with a lot of emotions, from sadness to anger and anxiety. Luckily, there are coping skills for anxiety that can help calm the sympathetic nervous system and get you through the intense aftermath.

Here are sixteen ways to cope with anxiety after a breakup:

1. Box Breathing

Box breathing, or square breathing, is a simple yet powerful technique for calming the nervous system. Begin by finding a quiet space and either closing your eyes or lowering your gaze. Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale through your mouth for 4 seconds, and hold again for 4 seconds. Repeat the cycle for at least 60 seconds. Regular practice, even during calm moments, enhances its effectiveness in managing anxiety.

2. Guided Imagery

Guided imagery for anxiety is a practice in which you take time to picture a person, place, or moment that makes you feel more relaxed, comfortable, and happy or helps you re-center to the present moment. For example, think of your favorite beach, what it looks like, how it smells, the sounds, the people, etc.

3. Stop and Assess

If you catch yourself falling into an anxiety spiral, it can be helpful to stop and assess. This means pausing what you are doing and taking time to think about how you are feeling. Do you feel overwhelmed or tense? You can then take time to use another skill to help you calm or clear your mind.

4. Distract Yourself

Distraction can help redirect your mind and ease anxious thoughts. Unlike avoidance, which involves ignoring the issue and often intensifies the focus on it, distraction allows you to acknowledge your feelings while consciously shifting your attention to another activity. This approach can provide temporary relief and create space for calm.

5. Relax Your Body

Since anxiety is tied to the fight or flight response, many people experience tight or tense muscles. Giving yourself a space to relax your body and ease any tightness can be helpful. For example, taking a warm bath, getting a massage, doing yoga for anxiety, or try progressive muscle relaxation.

6. Work Your Body

Exercise for anxiety is a great way to relieve tension and get a nice boost of endorphins.³ How you choose to move your body is completely up to you, which might feel refreshing if you just went through a breakup that was not mutual or you feel like there are lots of things in your life that are out of your control.

7. Ground Yourself

Grounding techniques help you turn your attention away from distressing/unwanted thoughts, memories, or worries. A quick grounding technique is the 5-4-3-2-1 method. Wherever you are, you will take a moment to find 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can touch, and 1 thing you can taste (perfect excuse to eat a cookie).

8. Reassure Yourself

Anxiety is great at creating negative thoughts and using them against us. It can be helpful to take time to reassure yourself that you will be okay and that you’re going to get through this difficult season in your life. Our thoughts matter, and learning how to stop negative self-talk can change how we approach our day. Don’t discredit the power of how you speak to yourself.

9. Identify Triggers

It can be helpful to take note of things that may be triggering your anxiety or making your anxiety worse. Respond to what situations, places, or things create an emotional response. Once you have an idea of what your triggers are, you can take steps to identify how you plan to cope. Remember, avoidance isn’t the answer here. It’s finding ways you can navigate despite anxiety.

10. Be Kind To Yourself

Many people start to feel pretty down on themselves after a breakup. It’s important to be kind to yourself, give yourself time to feel your feelings, repeat some positive affirmations, and then take steps in a way that feels realistic and attainable to you. You may want to feel better fast, but it’s okay to take your time. Don’t be too hard on yourself.

11. Create Healthy Lifestyle Habits

There are lifestyle changes that can help you cope with anxiety after a breakup. Whatever lifestyle changes you choose will be completely up to you, but it can help you feel better.

Common lifestyle changes to help cope with anxiety after a breakup include:

• Avoiding or eliminating alcohol and recreational drugs
• Limiting caffeine
• Establishing a healthy diet and focusing on foods that help anxiety
• Practicing meditation for anxiety or mindfulness for anxiety
• Picking up a new hobby
• Getting a furry friend or plant to care for
• Identifying social support

12. Mindfulness & Meditation

Mindfulness techniques such as guided meditation or breathing exercises can reduce anxiety by calming the mind and grounding you in the present moment. Apps like Calm and Headspace provide structured sessions that are beginner-friendly.

13.  Journaling for Self-Reflection

Writing down your thoughts helps process complex emotions, providing clarity and relief. Focus on journaling for mental health by expressing your feelings without judgment and track your emotional progress over time.

14. Professional Therapy

Consider seeking Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) if anxiety feels overwhelming. A licensed therapist can guide you through healing.

15. Social Support Networks

Reaching out to friends, family, or support groups offers connection and reassurance. Surround yourself with people who validate your experiences and provide encouragement.

16.  Establish Healthy Routines

Maintain consistent sleep patterns, a balanced diet, and self-care rituals to foster a sense of stability.

Implementing these coping strategies can gradually reduce the severity of breakup anxiety while promoting mental and physical well-being.

When to Seek Professional Support for Breakup Anxiety

If anxiety feels overwhelming, persists beyond a few weeks, or starts affecting your daily life, seeking anxiety treatment can be beneficial. Breakups are major life changes, and reaching out for guidance is a healthy step toward healing. While the idea of finding a therapist may seem daunting, many resources are available. You can use an online therapist directory to find a local therapist specializing in anxiety or explore online therapy platforms, which are convenient alternatives when in-person care is inaccessible or costly.

Some signs you may need professional help for anxiety include:

• It’s causing problems with your relationships
• You’re having sleep issues
• Trouble concentrating is preventing you from completing tasks or activities you enjoy
• You’re too anxious to make decisions
• You’re struggling to break free of avoidance
• You feel overwhelmed by racing thoughts
• Negative thinking is starting to make you feel down
• Catastrophizing thoughts feel unmanageable
• You feel nervous or worried more often than not
• Distressing or unwanted memories feel unavoidable

Therapy for Anxiety After a Breakup

There are many options for anxiety therapy available, like individual therapy, group therapy, and support groups. Group therapy and support groups provide valuable opportunities to connect with others facing similar challenges. For more personalized attention, individual therapy offers a one-on-one space to process emotions and develop coping strategies. Individual sessions typically occur weekly or biweekly, while group therapy or support groups may meet weekly, biweekly, or monthly, depending on the program.

Common anxiety therapy options include:

• Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): CBT for anxiety helps you identify how your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors work together. This can help you better understand how your anxiety is presenting and what you can do to cope.
• Dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT): DBT for anxiety is focused on skills training like interpersonal effectiveness, emotional regulation, and distress tolerance. The purpose is to help you better manage and tolerate emotional distress, aid with problem-solving, and help replace unhealthy behaviors.
• Exposure therapy: Exposure therapy for anxiety helps you address your triggers in both real and imagined ways. Its purpose is to show that avoidance is unhelpful and aid clients in learning how to navigate distressing situations without feeling the need to escape.
• Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR): EMDR for anxiety may also be of benefit, especially if your past relationship involved any trauma. The purpose is to help change the emotional intensity someone feels surrounding distressing emotions and memories.

Medication for Anxiety After a Breakup

Anti-anxiety medication may also be part of an anxiety treatment plan and is frequently recommended in combination with therapy. Many people note that medication helps make symptoms less intense and can slow racing thoughts.

Common medications prescribed for anxiety include:

• Antidepressants: SSRIs are the most commonly prescribed medications. While labeled antidepressants, they can also be helpful for anxiety. If SSRIs end up not being the best fit, there are also SNRIs and tricyclic antidepressants, which are also beneficial. The difference is in how the medication impacts different chemicals in the brain to decrease symptoms.
• Beta-blockers: Beta-blockers for anxiety help slow down your heart rate. These can be particularly helpful if you are experiencing more physical symptoms, such as shortness of breath, racing or skipping heartbeat, or feeling panicky.
• Benzodiazepines: Benzodiazepines can also help you feel more relaxed and calm. It’s important to note that these are recommended for more short-term than long-term use since side effects do include dependence, tolerance, withdrawal, and addiction.