People may choose to see a therapist for many reasons. But how do you know if the therapist you select is a good fit for you? Beyond fit, how do you know if they’re practicing bad therapy? There are signs and red flags to look for that indicate whether a therapist is bad for you.
20 Signs You Have a Bad Therapist
Therapy can be a life-changing experience. The more specific you can be about the desired changes in your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, the easier it will be to identify the benefits and see how therapy works to improve your personal progress toward your goals. If these changes don’t begin to happen after a few sessions, consider quitting that therapist. Here are twenty bad therapy warning signs that should cause you to consider leaving your therapist.
Here are twenty signs you have a bad therapist:
1. Therapist Is Unethical
All therapists are mandated to comply with a code of conduct ensuring professionalism. The most egregious unethical behavior is unwanted sexual exploitation by therapists, which can create ambivalence, cognitive dysfunction, emotional emptiness, isolation, impaired ability to trust, guilt, increased suicidal risk, role reversal and boundary confusion, sexual confusion, and suppressed anger.3 Sexual impropriety by a therapist is malpractice and against the law. It should immediately be reported.
2. Therapist Is Judgemental
Therapists are human with their own beliefs and viewpoints. However, it is inappropriate for a therapist to impose these values/beliefs during a therapy session. Patients cannot allow themselves to be open and vulnerable if they are afraid of being judged by their therapist. This creates an unhealthy and unproductive environment.
3. Going to Therapy Is Stressful
The purpose of therapy is to understand and manage stressors in your life. There are times when it is crucial to discuss challenging or stressful topics in therapy, but if seeing your therapist is a constant source of anxiety, then you’re seeing a bad therapist. A good therapist will create a climate of safety and comfort for their clients.
4. Therapist Is Not Giving You the Attention You Deserve
If your therapist appears detached, responds with unhelpful comments, or asks you to repeat yourself multiple times, these are signs they’re not listening. This is a bad therapy warning signal. Good therapists are focused and attentive during therapy because information shared in sessions is integral to create an effective treatment plan. Clients will only benefit if they believe they are being heard and understood.
5. Fees Are Higher Than Therapists With Similar Credentials
Examples of financially unethical behavior range from financial impropriety like charging too much for a session to extending treatment sessions beyond accepted clinical standards. Affordable therapy does exist. Regardless, when therapy begins, the therapist should estimate how many sessions it may take to achieve your treatment goals. A bad therapist may exploit clients for their own financial gain.
6. Inappropriate Boundaries
There are many unseen boundaries present in therapeutic relationships. A Professional Code of Conduct prohibits healthcare professionals from crossing these boundaries. Boundary violations usually involve exploitive business or sexual relationships. Boundary violations are always unethical and likely to be illegal.4
7. Constant Rescheduling
People have unexpected things arise and may have to cancel appointments. But continuous unexpected cancellations can interrupt the therapeutic process. It’s important for both therapists and clients to mutually agree to a set appointment schedule. People with mood disorders or anxiety rely on a routine to maintain stability. Good therapy requires consistency and mutual trust.
8. Therapist Is Dismissive
When a therapist becomes dismissive, defensive, disrespectful, or argumentative when you question what they say, they are bad. Therapists must model healthy relationships and objectively listen to what is being said to them. Dismissive behaviors cause people to question themselves and can lower self esteem.
9. Therapist Violates Confidentiality
Confidentiality is important. Patients won’t disclose information if they’re worried about a therapist breaching confidentiality and breaking their trust. However, if a person expresses a desire and plan to harm themselves or others, there may be a duty to report for the welfare of the patient. Laws can vary between states.
10. Transference or Countertransference Occurs
Transference occurs when a patient brings strong feelings about a previous relationship and projects them onto a therapist. Countertransference refers to the unconscious influence that a therapist’s past conflicts have on their understanding, actions, or reactions within the treatment situation.6 When this occurs, it must be addressed by the therapist immediately. It can be a source of information about relationships outside of the therapist’s office. Bad therapists will ignore this dynamic, causing serious confusion and emotional harm to patients.
11. Therapist Tells You What to Do
A good therapist will carefully listen and help guide you as you choose the right path for you. A bad therapist will make decisions for you that inhibit your future ability to make important life decisions.
12. Therapist Discloses Too Much About Themselves
There is a balance between therapists sharing personal information (self-disclosure) and taking the attention away from the clients. When used appropriately, counselor self-disclosure can build trust and strengthen the therapeutic alliance. However, counselor self-disclosure also holds the potential to derail progress and take the focus off the client.7
13. Therapist Can’t Explain Their Treatment Philosophy
When interviewing a therapist, ask them to explain their treatment model and philosophy. If they can’t answer your questions, choose another therapist. They should explain why the type of treatment they use is effective and a good fit for your diagnosis.
14. Therapist Is Not a Good Match For Your Diagnosis
If you see a therapist who specializes in dementia and you are there for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), this treatment is not going to work. Make sure your therapist has expertise in treating people with your symptoms and diagnosis.
15. Therapist Doesn’t Talk
A good therapist will talk to help guide their client into self exploration and revelations regarding the reasons for therapy. They will help clients decide what changes they want to make and how to use techniques to cope with or confront their presenting problem. If a therapist doesn’t talk or what they say isn’t useful, they are a bad therapist.
16. Therapist Ended Therapy Badly
The way therapy ends is an important element in the learning process for clients whether termination is initiated by the client or the therapist. Experts describe these indicators as bad therapist examples: no expression of emotion related to termination; no review of client growth; unplanned termination; no discussion of post-termination plan.8
17. Therapist Is Too Passive
Some clients believe that therapists using a passive approach don’t challenge or confront them enough. They won’t get as much out of therapy as they want.9
18. You Don’t See Any Movement Towards Achieving Treatment Goals
If you have been in therapy and you find that nothing you learn there is helping you resolve your presenting problems or there is no symptom reduction that’s a red flag. This therapist is not helping you achieve your treatment goals.
19. You Feel Disconnected From Your Therapist
After several therapy sessions, you may feel like your therapist does not understand you. If you don’t feel any connection with them, that signals you have the wrong therapist. If that connection is absent, people are less inclined to do the necessary work therapy requires to be successful.
20. Therapist Is Bigoted/Racist
Racism can occur in subtle ways in therapy. Mental Health America offers examples, including lack of consideration for cultural norms and expectations and avoiding discussing race at all. Race, ethnicity, and culture affect the ways we experience the world, and that affects our mental health. A good therapist will acknowledge this and help you work through related feelings.10
When to Leave Your Therapist
Leaving your therapist is a difficult decision to make, especially after you have invested time and emotional energy in treatment. Starting again can feel overwhelming, but reasons to leave include a lack of trust, comfort, and safety.
Here are things to consider when thinking about leaving a bad therapist:
- Are you leaving sessions asking what you’re getting out of therapy?
- Do you feel comfortable with your therapist?
- Do you trust your therapist? Why or why not?
- Does your therapist hear and understand you?
- Does your therapist give you information/skills to help you deal with your problems?
- Do you feel safe with your therapist?
- Do you feel better or worse after leaving a therapy session?
How to Leave Your Therapist
You have the right to fire your therapist if you’re unsatisfied. But if you feel comfortable, there are advantages to talking first. They should understand why you’re leaving and what expectations were unmet. This conversation can be a learning experience for you, too, even if it feels uncomfortable. It’s not your responsibility to protect your therapist or defend your decision to leave, but you may gain new insights.
How to Find Your Next Therapist
Don’t let a bad experience stop you from getting therapy if you have unresolved issues you want to explore. Take what you learned from working with a bad therapist and use it to pick a good one. Identify qualities as being priorities you want in your new therapist. Use your network of friends, your doctor, the local mental health center, or an online therapist directory to find a new therapist.
Ask any questions you have during a phone consultation. It is often possible and encouraged to make an appointment for an initial consultation, which can happen via phone, video, in-person. This allows you to interact, determine whether they’re a good fit, and see if you prefer to see them for in-person or online therapy.
Final Thoughts
If you’re not meeting your treatment goals with your therapist, they’re not a good fit for you. An actively bad therapist can cause serious harm to a person who is vulnerable and struggling with mental health issues. Don’t give up on therapy if you have a bad experience though. Carefully consider what qualities are most important to you in a therapist, do a pre-interview, and follow up.
Signs of a Bad Therapist & How to Leave Them Infographics
