Part of a normal human experience is to have a myriad of emotions, including insecurity. It can take time and reflection to recognize feelings of insecurity and understand how to manage them, but it is completely possible. Consider journaling, self-care, and learning effective communication skills to boost your confidence.
What Is Insecurity?
Insecurity is a general lack of confidence or a long-lasting feeling of anxiety, discomfort with uncertainty, and unsureness. It can play a big role in self-esteem and self-worth as it makes you question your abilities and values as a person. General insecurity can sometimes spread over into relationships (romantic and otherwise) and work or career-related things.
How to Not Be Insecure
By working on self-esteem and focusing on your inner self, you can gain the emotional strength needed to manage feelings of insecurity, combat these feelings when they arise, and regain power in your own life.
Three ways to overcome insecurity are:
1. Practice Self-Care
By making yourself a priority, you tell your inner self it matters. By honoring yourself first, you heal the parts of you that need the most love and attention. Some ways to care for yourself include exercise, being in nature, getting enough sleep, having nutritious meals, taking a break from social media, spending time with meaningful relationships, and engaging in creativity.
2. Try Gratitude Journaling
There is power in writing and putting your feelings down on paper. Gratitude journaling specifically helps you challenge your negative thoughts and reminds you of the good stuff. Giving yourself kudos and expressing your pride in yourself is uplifting. It also creates “proof” of all the things insecurity tried to rob.2
3. Read on the Topic
Just like writing, reading and hearing stories about others who have grown through adversity, whether external or internal, can be healing and encouraging. Reading memoirs from people who have had to work through their negative thoughts can offer reassurance that you are not alone.
3 Tips on How to Stop Being Insecure In Relationships
Insecurity can spill over into relationships including friendships, familial bonds, and romantic partnerships. Fortunately, you can overcome these insecurities by communicating openly, keeping a feelings journal, and learning each other’s love language.
Here are three tips to overcome insecurity in relationships:
1. Communicate Openly
Having an open line of communication is critical for any relationship to thrive. Discussing feelings with your partner is a healthy way to build trust. To strengthen your bond, create a time to share feelings and discuss what is happening inside as it relates to the relationship. Of course, there comes a time when speaking with a therapist individually or together can also be helpful.
2. Keep a Feelings Journal
Like gratitude journaling, keeping a feelings journal can be helpful in managing relationship insecurities. It helps you remember how you were feeling in any given situation, understand where certain feelings come from, and know what triggers negativity. By keeping a record of your feelings and perceptions, you learn a lot about yourself.
3. Learn About Love Languages
Sometimes, relationship insecurities come from forgetting that everyone is different and experiences love differently. We all have experiences that shape who we are, so learning about how you and your partner differ is important. Sometimes, insecurities arise from making assumptions. It’s important to have deeper conversations about what brings us a sense of safety and security.1
3 Tips on How to Stop Being Insecure at Work
Insecurity can also affect you at work, whether that means you don’t go after a promotion because you’re scared, you constantly worry you’re in the wrong profession, or you lose sleep over important phone calls. Try taking a break, speaking to a trusted colleague, or putting time and effort into professional development.
Here are three tips to deal with insecurity at work:
1. Take a Break
When you feel insecure with work, take a step back and evaluate your feelings. It can be challenging to manage other people and personalities in the workplace, so taking inventory of yourself and what you bring can be helpful. Taking a step away to gather yourself is a chance to think about how you want to approach the situation, whether you need to be part of it at all, and if there are other issues at play.
2. Speak to Trusted Colleagues
Having a supportive director or trusted colleague to speak with about general insecurity at work can be helpful. Nearly everyone has felt this way at some point in their career, and by sharing, you help them too. Recognizing insecurity and being able to discuss it can normalize these feelings, which may be signs of imposter syndrome.
3. Engage in Professional Development or Coaching
It’s no secret that people who are early in their careers feel insecure. Despite internships and schooling, there is only so much preparation you can do. Some companies offer professional development or supervision to help you become more confident in your role. Seeking professional development or coaching outside of work is also a great way to reach your goals.3
Can Therapy Help Me Be Less Insecure?
Meeting with a therapist is a great way to work through insecure feelings, learn where they come from, and understand how to heal. Regardless of whether your insecurity is more general, relationship focused, or work related, therapy can help you sort through difficult emotions and learn new coping mechanisms. There are plenty of resources available to help you choose a therapist, including online directories.
Final Thoughts on How to Not Be Insecure
We all deal with insecurity at some point or another, and it manifests in many ways; fortunately, there are just as many ways to manage, cope, and heal. This problem is unique to you, but you’re not alone. If you feel like you need more guidance on how to stop being insecure, don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist.
Additional Resources
- Best Books on Confidence
- Mental Health America
- National Alliance on Mental Health
- MentalHealth.gov
- Online Therapist Directory: Sort therapists by specialty, cost, availability and more. Watch intro videos and see articles written by the therapists you’re considering working with. When you’ve found a good match, book an online therapy appointment with them directly.
Are you ready to connect with a therapist but feel a little overwhelmed by all your options? Speak with one of Choosing Therapy’s Client Navigators. Client Navigators are mental health professionals who will listen to what you’re looking for in a therapist and help pair you with the best possible fit. Getting started is free, easy, and confidential.
