How to Stop Being Insecure: 9 Tips For Success

What Are Insecurities?

Insecurity is a general lack of confidence or a long-lasting feeling of anxiety, discomfort with uncertainty, and unsureness. Insecurities make you question your abilities and personal values, often negatively impacting your self-esteem and self-worth. General insecurity can sometimes spread into relationships (romantic and otherwise), work, and other aspects of life.

How to Not Be Insecure: 9 Helpful Tips

Dealing with insecurities often starts by working on self-esteem and focusing on your inner self. Doing so offers the emotional strength needed to manage feelings of insecurity, combat feelings when they arise, and regain power in your life.

Below are nine tips on how to overcome insecurity:

1. Practice Self-Care

Making yourself a priority shows your inner self that you matter. Honoring yourself first heals the parts of you that need love and attention, including your insecurities. Some beneficial self-care activities include exercise, being in nature, getting enough sleep, having nutritious meals, and engaging in creativity.

2. Try Gratitude Journaling

Writing and putting your feelings down on paper is powerful, especially when overcoming insecurity. Gratitude journaling helps you challenge your negative thoughts and reminds you of your good qualities. Giving yourself kudos and expressing pride in yourself is uplifting. You also create “proof” of everything insecurity tries to rob.¹

3. Read on the Topic

Just like writing, reading and hearing stories from others who have grown through adversity can be healing and encouraging. You can learn how to address negative thoughts and gain reassurance that you are not alone when feeling insecure.

4. Communicate Openly in Relationships

Insecurity can spill over into friendships, familial bonds, and romantic partnerships. Having open lines of communication and discussing feelings with others builds trust in a relationship. Set aside time to share your worries related to the relationship. Not only will this strengthen your bond, but also help you deal with insecurities.

5. Keep a Feelings Journal

Like gratitude journaling, keeping a feelings journal can help you identify why you feel insecure. Writing reminds you how you felt in a situation, understand where these feelings came from, and recognize what triggered the negativity. You learn a lot about yourself by recording your feelings and perceptions.

6. Learn About Love Languages

Sometimes, insecurities develop when you forget that everyone is different and experiences love differently. We all have experiences that shape who we are, so learning how you and your partner differ is important. Having deep conversations about what brings you a sense of safety with your partner can help you overcome insecurities in your relationship.²

7. Take a Break

Insecurity can also affect you at work, whether you don’t go after a promotion because you’re scared, constantly worry you’re in the wrong profession, or lose sleep over important phone calls. When determining what to do when feeling insecure, take a step back and evaluate your feelings. Managing other people and personalities in the workplace is challenging, so taking inventory of what you bring offers a chance to think about how to approach a situation.

8. Speak to Trusted Colleagues

Having a supportive director or trusted colleague to speak with about general insecurity at work can be helpful. Nearly everyone has felt insecure at some point in their career. Sharing not only helps you but also your coworkers. Recognizing and discussing your feelings can normalize being insecure. You may even struggle with imposter syndrome.

9. Engage in Professional Development or Coaching

People early in their careers often feel insecure. You can only do so much preparation for a position, even after internships and schooling. Some companies offer helpful professional development or supervision when dealing with insecurities about your role. Seeking professional development or life coaching outside work is also a great way to reach your goals.³

Can Therapy Help Me Be Less Insecure?

Meeting with a therapist is a great way to work through insecure feelings, learn where they come from, and understand how to heal. Whether your insecurity is more general, relationship-focused, or work-related, therapy can help you sort through difficult emotions and learn coping mechanisms. You can find and choose a therapist, counselor, or psychologist on an online therapist directory.

Final Thoughts

We all deal with insecurity at some point in various ways. Fortunately, there are many ways to manage, cope, and heal. This problem is unique to you, but you’re not alone. Don’t hesitate to speak with a therapist if you need more guidance on how to stop being insecure.