Trust is a key building block of any successful relationship. It allows each person to feel safe and comfortable in their relationship and also allows for healthy communication and boundaries. Although it can be difficult, building trust is worth it in the long run. Establishing regular check-ins, communicating openly, and not making assumptions about the other person are a great way to build trust.
Here are 21 tips for how to build trust in a relationship:
1. Have Open Communication
When you practice communicating with your partner you learn that you become more open. If you become more comfortable being open, you become more vulnerable and develop a deeper relationship. Trust can be built when your partner knows that you are willing to share intimate details. You feel more confident about doing so to build a stronger connection.
2. Be Vulnerable
Vulnerability can be scary, as you may feel judged. Being vulnerable with your partner helps you to build that trust by showing that you can share your most sacred feelings. You can let your guard down and you can be yourself, which in turn will make your partner feel trust in you.
3. Learn Healthy Ways to Communicate
Learning new ways to communicate include active listening, validating your partner and recognizing how you react and respond. Couples can read relationship books and complete workbooks together as ways to strengthen their trust. Learning healthier communication strategies together builds trust and shows your partner your relationship matters.
4. Be Honest
It takes more work to lie then just share your feelings. Even when it is tough, being honest lets your partner know that you value them. Trust grows when you feel secure that your partner is able to tell the truth in any situation.
5. Show Empathy
Showing empathy is a way to make your partner feel heard and validated. Empathy helps to bring you closer by showing emotional support. If your partner thinks you do not have empathy they will feel like they’re on their own. Trust is built from sensing that partnership.
6. Be Willing to Listen
By listening to your partner, you are showing them you understand them. You are demonstrating that you value them and you respect them enough to take that time. When you don’t listen to your partner, they may feel dismissed.
7. Ask for Clarity if Needed
When you ask for clarity, you are showing your partner that you care about what they are saying. If you don’t ask for clarity, you are left to assume and this may lead you to think the worst. Clarity allows you to identify what your partner is feeling so that you can change behaviors. Trust can be built when you ask for clarity and show your partner that you can do your best to meet their needs.
8. Don’t Make Assumptions
Assumptions can create a false narrative. When you create a false narrative, you feel removed from the connection in your relationship. Trust is built when you take time to learn more about your partner. If you dismiss your partner’s feelings and place your own thoughts on the situation through assumption, you are missing an opportunity to build a deeper connection. Assumptions can create a more hurtful story based on your feelings. Give your partner the time to explain and then you both can create the ending of the story together.
9. Take Time to Make Decisions
Taking your time to make decisions can allow you to process your feelings and work to understand those feelings and behaviors. By slowing down your response, you may reduce harmful impulsive decisions. This can help build trust so your partner does not feel like you are not present in times of conflict. They will learn to trust you by knowing that you will be there to make decisions together as a team.
10. Don’t Take Your Relationship for Granted
When you take your relationship for granted you show your partner they do not matter. You may put friends before your partner when you think your partner will always be there. Focusing on your partner, noticing kind gestures, and even saying thank you can help build trust. Showing appreciation of your partner leads to building trust.
11. Show Gratitude
Gratitude can be a simple form of praise. Telling your partner that you recognize something positive they said or did makes them feel respected. Showing gratitude by sending little messages throughout the day can help build trust in a relationship by staying emotionally connected. A simple gesture can go far. It shows them you are thinking of them during your busy day and this helps to build the stability and trust in your relationship.
12. Prioritize Quality Time
With everyday life and how busy one can get, quality time can be ignored. Create a special time in your day to stop and say hi or spend a few minutes together to help build trust. In this way, you are letting your partner know that you will be there to connect no matter how busy you get.
13. Set Boundaries
Boundaries are rules and limits you set for yourself in your relationship. When you are aware of unhealthy and healthy boundaries you are more inclined to take accountability of your actions. When a couple sets boundaries, they are creating a comfortable and balanced environment where both people feel understood. When you feel secure to say no to something, then you are setting healthy boundaries. Sharing your personal boundaries with your partner helps to build trust.
14. Respect Each Other
Respect shows your partner that you are willing to treat them how you want to be treated. We all enter relationships with expectations and standards of qualities we want our partner to possess. Trust breaks if we do not express the same respect and standards to our partners.
15. Practice Trust Exercises
When couples take time to practice trust, they feel more connected. Through practice, couples can learn to build trust by becoming more open and vulnerable. Practicing trust exercises together shows your partner you want to put in the effort.
Trust exercises can be things like:
- Having intimate conversations
- Giving physical touch
- Having a question and answer time
- Sharing gratitude and compliments.
16. Practice Structured Conversations
Structured conversations can include using “I” statements, reflections, and active listening. By practicing having more structured conversations you are allowing yourself to be more self-aware of how you communicate. Being more aware of your body language and tone can help you to reduce conflict and have a healthier pattern of conversations. This can help build trust by feeling safe when having conversations with your partner. You will feel secure to be open and honest.
17. Have Regular Check-Ins
Weekly check-ins help couples learn more about who they are and what they need. Engaging in these weekly check-in conversations allows your partner to hear what you need in an honest way. You can create date nights each week to add excitement and look forward to connecting. This can help build trust when you know that you have a partner willing to put in the effort.
18. Take Accountability for Your Actions
Being accountable for your actions shows maturity and willingness to take blame for your actions. It may not feel easy to take accountability as it can make you feel judged. When you take accountability, you are showing your partner that you can admit to wrongdoing and to be aware of the changes you need to make. This helps to build trust by knowing that your partner is able to share those hard moments with you.
19. Be Willing to Say Sorry
Saying sorry can be so important to make your partner feel confident that you understand how they feel. When you apologize, you are telling them you are owning your actions. When you are able to say sorry you are also saying that you acknowledge the situation. Trust is built when your partner feels you are being self-aware of changes needed to improve the relationship.
20. Do Not Judge
Be cognizant of your behaviors and how you speak to your partner. If they feel judged, they may not feel comfortable opening up. When your partner puts their guard up to protect themselves, they stop communicating. By letting your partner know that you are here to listen, they will begin to feel safe. Even when you know you may not accept what your partner did, it gives you the chance to learn more about them in a more genuine way.
21. Be Willing to Forgive
When you forgive you are not agreeing with someone else’s actions you are taking control of your emotions. This is your journey and you can forgive at your own pace. This is not to forget rather to live presently. If you want to forgive and move forward with your partner, this helps to build trust in letting your partner know you are choosing to work on the relationship together.
Bonus: Follow Through & Be Consistent
It may not be that easy to live by your own expectations. Some of us get so caught up on the actions of others that we forget to stay consistent with our intentions. Working on your relationship by following through with positive behaviors can help to keep you accountable. When you put in the effort to stay consistent you show your partner you are meeting them halfway. This can make you both feel confident in building the trust in your partnership.
Why Is Trust Important in a Relationship?
Trust is a key element of healthy relationships and leads to stronger connections. Lack of trust leads to unhealthy and unstable dynamics in the relationship. If you do not have trust in your partner, then you may not feel secure. Security allows you to feel safe in the relationship. Having trust in your partner creates healthy boundaries in the relationship.
When you feel secure and positive in your relationship then you build a healthy and strong foundation together. Whether you are in a marriage or dating, trust is important. It is the foundation in the relationship that helps couples to feel safe and secure enough to communicate openly with their partner.1
How Therapy Can Help
Marriage and couples counseling is noted as an essential health intervention that is found to work with a diverse range of individual concerns and demographics.2 Therapy can help by restoring communication and rebuilding the couple’s trust and connection. A therapist will help by allowing the couple to hear each side in an open and nonjudgmental space.
Therapy may be very effective for the couple as they may feel closer to their partner after hearing their perspective in a calm environment. A therapist will help by not placing blame and staying neutral so each partner will feel heard and validated.
Marital therapy and cognitive-behavioral marital therapy are two effective methods for couples. Cognitive behavioral marital therapy was found to be effective as it reduces negative behavioral interactions while increasing mutual emotional support.3 Cognitive behavioral therapies help couples to improve their interaction, using methods such as problem solving and communication skills.4 Behaviorally based couple therapy is a helpful therapy for relationship distress treatment.5
The price of couples therapy may vary depending on the therapist’s qualifications and experience, your goals, time, location and follow up sessions.6 Prices may range from $75-$250 per session.7 Choosing a therapist can feel difficult but a great place to start is an online directory.
Final Thoughts on Building Trusting Relationships
Trust is hard to build but it’s worth it in the long run. If a partner starts to lose trust, they begin to lose trust in their partner’s words.8 By working together, you can begin to gain that level of trust and believe what your partner is saying. When you are mindful of your behaviors in your relationship, you will feel the difference. Couples who invest time in establishing trust will start believing in their relationship. Knowing your partner is putting in the same amount of work makes you feel respected. Trust is the key ingredient that can keep a relationship committed.
Additional Resources
- Mental Health America
- National Alliance on Mental Health
- MentalHealth.gov
- Online Therapist Directory: Sort therapists by specialty, cost, availability and more. Watch intro videos and see articles written by the therapists you’re considering working with. When you’ve found a good match, book an online therapy appointment with them directly.
Are you ready to connect with a therapist but feel a little overwhelmed by all your options? Speak with one of Choosing Therapy’s Client Navigators. Client Navigators are mental health professionals who will listen to what you’re looking for in a therapist and help pair you with the best possible fit. Getting started is free, easy, and confidential.
