How to Stop Masturbating: 15 Tips

Although masturbation is normal and a healthy form of sexual expression, it can be done in excess—at which point it becomes unhealthy and problematic. Stopping or cutting down on masturbating requires commitment. Speaking with a professional is always recommended if you are concerned that your masturbation habits have become compulsive or problematic.

15 Tips on How to Stop Masturbating

Fortunately, there are many ways to control the urge to masturbate. Some tips work better than others, but the most important factor is motivation to change. The greater the number of ways you go about working through the problem, the greater the likelihood the desired change will occur.

Here are 15 tips if you want to stop masturbating:

1. Talk About It With Your Romantic Partner or Others You Trust

It can help to speak openly about problematic masturbation with a romantic partner or someone else you trust. These individuals may provide emotional support and help you track progress. Discussing the topic can be uncomfortable and taboo, but whoever you speak to has likely masturbated before. No longer feeling alone can be a relief in itself.

You and your romantic partner should also be on the same page about masturbation. Physical intimacy, whatever it looks like, is an essential part of any relationship. Perhaps this is lacking in the relationship. In other cases, it may be an issue of performance anxiety or other negative thoughts and emotions. Whatever the case, addressing the root cause is often the first step to creating change. Whether individually or as couples, sex therapy can help move forward.

2. Focus on Your Partner(s)

Intimacy looks different in every relationship, but mutual exploration is healthy. Honestly discuss together, or among partners, your preferences, desires, and needs. Next, negotiate what works. From there, build upon the routine by doing more of what you both enjoy or even trying new things. This is bonding, fun, healthy, and distracts from masturbation.

3. Limit Time Alone

Masturbation is an activity that can be done in pairs or groups but is often done in isolation. The more time alone, the more opportunities you have to masturbate. Limiting time alone restricts these opportunities.

4. Stop Watching Porn

Many people masturbate while watching pornography. It may be time to stop watching porn if this fits your situation. The power of pornography is that it stimulates the pleasure pathway as one relishes in a mixture of fantasy and a naturally occurring euphoria.⁴ Though speaking openly about pornography is taboo, recent statistics reveal a high demand for pornographic content, especially online (which might be an issue in your relationship[s], especially if your partner considers porn cheating).

Ways to stop watching porn may include putting blockers on explicit websites, intentionally avoiding them, and being online in public spaces where such behavior is prohibited. Increased viewing and participation in pornographic content, among other factors, may also place you at increased risk for porn addiction.

5. Change Up the Routine

Masturbation can be spontaneous but often occurs at specific times of the day. These may include when you wake up, shower, come home from school or work, or before bed. If this is true, doing something different may help. Take a quick, cold shower if you usually masturbate during long showers. Instead of masturbating in the morning, get out of bed and begin with whatever comes next in the routine—perhaps a healthy breakfast. Try something else relaxing before bed, like listening to soothing music with your eyes closed.

6. Limit Accessibility to Sex Toys

Sex toys can be triggering. Seeing them reminds you of a “better” time you could be having. Such temptation can increasingly lead toward a relapse to old behavior, so removing them is yet another way to build your relapse prevention plan and limit your reminders.

7. Meditate

Meditation is an activity with numerous evidence-based benefits. Meditation nurtures the mind-body-spirit pathway and can prove helpful with stopping masturbation as well. Focusing on something positive, such as a mantra or happy thought, while taking intentionally deep breaths can redirect your thoughts. During this time, urges may subside. Once done, focusing on something else is easier.

8. Utilize Unstimulating Visualizations

Masturbation is often performed while visualizing something that heightens arousal. Rather than focus on something stimulating, consider something that does the opposite. For example, imagine someone or something opposite to your preference. Whatever the visualization, the important thing is that it distracts from, rather than incites, a desire to masturbate.

9. Implement Healthy Distractions

Healthy distractions can include reading a book, writing a journal entry, playing a board game, or gardening. Even less healthy activities, such as streaming media or playing video games, are perfectly fine in moderation. Socially, distractions may involve going out with friends, making a phone call, or sending a thoughtful text. The key here is not to replace one undesired behavior (masturbation) with another.

10. Exercise

Exercise, like meditation, is a multipurpose activity. Notably known for its physical health benefits, exercise also improves mental health. The release of endorphins reduces pain and tension while producing a calming effect. Dopamine is also released, which elevates your mood. An additional social benefit can be having your friends present. Whether in the presence of others or not, exercise can help distract and release tension from urges to masturbate. Over time, you may also feel and look better, which boosts your self-concept. Win-win-win!

If going to the gym or traditional exercise feels uncomfortable, that is okay. Exercise may be kept simple by taking walks, cleaning the house, tending to the lawn, or taking stairs instead of elevators. If you are in motion, the activity counts. Keep moving.

11. Set Goals & Mark Progress

Like anything else, quitting outright can—at first—be seemingly impossible. Begin by cutting down the number of times per day incrementally. This may be done daily or weekly, but the intention is for the behavior to decrease to the desired goal. Setting practical SMART (specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and timely) goals can help.

As progress occurs, confidence will be built. And yes, it does become easier with time. Setbacks are likely and can be discouraging; however, you are the only one who can ultimately get yourself back on track.

12. Look Toward Religion

For those practicing various religions, there are different thoughts regarding masturbation. Masturbation may be considered appropriate, frowned upon, or strictly forbidden. If this is applicable, reflect on masturbation concerning your religion. This may be done alone, with support from others, or even by speaking with a trusted religious leader. Consider speaking with a professional if your religion leads to feelings of shame or other challenges. Culturally competent professionals can help you work through any distress within the context of your faith. This is mentally and spiritually healthy.

13. Wear Extra Clothes at Night

Although wearing extra clothes at night may be uncomfortable or require some fenagling of the thermostat, it provides an additional protective layer. Sleeping nude or in minimal attire increases accessibility. More layers of clothing provide additional time to work through urges.

14. Work on Anything Else That Needs Work

Address any other issues while focusing on decreasing or stopping masturbating. Diverting your attention toward other areas of need lessens the focus on masturbation while leading toward overall life improvements. This may include going to school or interviewing for a new job. Or it may be something social—enhancing quality relationships with others. All of us have something we would like to improve. Whatever that is, build a healthy goal around it and proceed accordingly.

15. Speak With a Professional

Speaking with a professional is often the best action when struggling with any issue. In this case, speaking with a counselor or addiction specialist is a great start. Licensed professional therapists protect confidentiality (within certain limits) and have worked with others experiencing similar issues. They have the knowledge, experience, and tools to help you work through compulsive masturbation. You are likely struggling with internalized challenges, negative thoughts, or emotions like anxiety, depression, and shame. These are natural and can be improved.

Given that many individuals struggling with addiction have dually diagnosed mental health disorders, a comprehensive treatment plan entails working on both (or as many as present). Failure to do this increases the likelihood of negative effects from one condition impacting the other. In the event of cross addiction, excessive masturbation may substitute substance use or another problematic behavior. Correcting this from the root cause while maintaining intentional and consistent efforts increases the likelihood of long-term success.

Final Thoughts

Although struggles with masturbation can stir up negative thoughts and emotions, you are not alone. The best thing to do is take action as soon as possible. If you feel that anything in this article pertains to you or a loved one, seek the appropriate help while trying some of the suggestions provided in this article.

How to Stop Masturbating Infographics

For Further Reading

• Best Self Help Books for Men
• 12 Marriage Intimacy Exercises for Couples
• What Is a Sex Therapist & How Can One Help Me?
• Signs of Sexual Frustration & How to Deal with It
• Sexual Anxiety: Types, Symptoms, Treatments, & More