Stress Dreams: What They Are, Causes, & How to Prevent Them

What Are Stress Dreams?

Stress dreams are distressing, quite stressful to wake up with, and often filled with anxiety or worry. But the good news is that they are also normal for most of us. They occur during the REM, or rapid-eye-movement sleep cycle, which is our deepest sleep cycle, and the sleep cycle in which scientists and researchers believe that most dreaming occurs.¹

Even though they can happen to anyone, the people who are most prone to these dreams are people who are stressed, whether it be due to a work event or relationship situation. The themes in the dream are often distressing, such as being late for work or class, being chased, or dreams about losing your teeth. Often occurring in people who are overworked, stressed, and overwhelmed- it is no wonder why they are referred to as “stress dreams.”

Common stress dreams include:

• Dreams that you are falling: Many dream that they are suddenly falling from a cliff or something else high up, and some people even jolt awake with a feeling of falling. This is undoubtedly stressful and is very anxiety producing!
• Driving a car and suddenly the brakes don’t work: Perhaps you are trying to stop and about to hit another car, or trying to stop your car from driving over a cliff. Many wake up while pushing their right foot down on the brake, only to wake up and realize it’s a dream.
• Teeth falling out: Some believe this is associated with loss or change, such as changing jobs or ending a relationship.
• Being chased: Some believe this is due to feeling trapped, such as in a job or relationship. Others believe this dream comes from being “followed” by a situation that you are refusing to acknowledge.
• Finding a pet that you had forgotten you had and forgotten to care for: This is often due to fears that there is something you are not attending to, or fears that you are not living up to your responsibilities or expectations.
• Showing up to class or work naked, or without proper clothing: This is often due to fears or feelings of being vulnerable or exposed.
• Being late or missing an important presentation at work or test in class:  Often due to fears of being unprepared for something important, and is common when the event has been on your mind a lot.

Stress Dreams Vs. Nightmares

Although they can feel very similar to nightmares, stress dreams are actually not nightmares. Like nightmares, stress dreams can sometimes wake you up with a flash of anxiety or stress, such as waking with a racing heart after being chased or slamming your foot against the bed in an attempt to stop a car whose brakes aren’t working.

However, stress dreams will wake you up after heightening your stress levels, and often leave you with a feeling of impending doom or concern that something bad is about to happen. Nightmares, on the other hand, usually contain the threatening or frightening event in the dream itself while stress dreams are more annoying. Nightmares are common after someone experiences a traumatic event, such as with  PTSD, and stress dreams are more common during more stressful or anxiety producing times in one’s life.

What Causes Stress Dreams?

The causes of stress dreams are vast, and are still debated. Some researchers report that stress dreams could be due to rising cortisol levels that take place during REM sleep (Payne and Nadel 2004). However, many therapists and mental health clinicians believe that stress dreams are due to an increase in stress and anxiety in one’s life. For example, if you are dealing with stress at work, or worried about a relationship, this could show up in your dreams.

Potential causes of stress dreams include:

• Relationship stress: If you have been arguing more with your partner lately, or if you are concerned about possibly needing to break up with them, then this stress and worry will likely show up in your dreams.
• Parenting or family stress: If your children are starting school, getting in trouble at school, or experiencing family stress in other ways- this can of course make you feel stressed!
• School stress: Experiencing school anxiety, such as upcoming tests or presentations, or if being in school is stressful for you, can lead to a stress dream.
• Work anxiety: Just like with school anxiety, work anxiety can lead to a stress dream if the work environment is stressful, toxic, or if you have an upcoming presentation or deadline.
• Trauma: Because childhood trauma or collective trauma makes us more susceptible to anxiety and stress, and can leave our nervous system in a heightened state, this can lead to stress dreams.
• Health problems: If you are concerned about a recent health diagnosis, or a possible health or physical concern, this worry can contribute to stress dreams.
• Sleep apnea or another sleep disorder: Many of my clients who have dreams where they are being held down, or are drowning or suffocating, find out that they have sleep apnea or another sleep disorder. Get a sleep test done with a certified sleep specialist if you have these sorts of themes in your stress dreams.
• Using alcohol or other substances before bed: Drinking alcohol can contribute to insomnia and restless sleep, and can also impact the content and intensity of your dreams. This is because alcohol contributes to the type of sleep you have, especially if you have large amounts. “Acute administration of large amounts of alcohol prior to sleep leads to decreased sleep onset latency and changes in sleep architecture early in the night, when blood alcohol levels are high, with subsequent disrupted, poor quality sleep later in the night.”²

7 Tips for Preventing Stress Dreams

Although stress dreams are very common and usually nothing to worry about, they are, of course, stressful! Thus, many people want to know how to decrease their frequency. Developing insight into what your triggers and stress causes are, as well as working on improving stress management strategies can be helpful to manage these dreams.

Below are seven tips for preventing stress dreams:

1. Try Exercising

There are many mental health benefits of exercise. Exercise has been shown to increase endorphins, and release feel-good chemicals that contribute to boosting mood, and decreasing depression and anxiety. Even just a quick walk outside or some inside physical movement such as yoga can be helpful to decrease stress.

 2. Take a Social Media Break

Social media always reminds us of the vacations we aren’t taking, the fun we aren’t having, and the food we aren’t eating- and it can lead to constant FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), and increase stressful feelings and feelings of isolation and loneliness. Taking a social media break can help decrease these feelings.

3. Practice Healthy Sleep Hygiene

Sleep hygiene is more than just where and how you sleep. It is taking time in the afternoons to unwind and destress before bed, going to bed at the same time every night, and preparing the room- and your mind- for sleep. Sleep hygiene can help decrease stress dreams and increase the positive mental health impacts of sleep.

4. Try Journaling

Many people find that journaling before bed is great for organizing your thoughts, and getting some of the stressful feelings out before you fall asleep. Journaling helps to clear your mind before bed. But journaling for mental health is beneficial any time, not just before bed!

5. Make Sure to Take Time to Rest

Resting is important, even outside of bedtime! It is essential to take time to rest both your body and mind. Curl up with a book, watch a funny show or documentary, or spend time in a hot bath–whatever self-care activities make you feel rested and calm.

6. Pay Attention to What You Eat Before Bed

Many people find that when they fill up on sugar or junk food before bed, they are more likely to experience stress dreams. Many people report that if they eat ice cream before bed, they are more likely to experience stress dreams or even nightmares! Everyone’s body is different, so this might not affect you the same way it does someone else, but it’s worth exploring.

7. See If There is a Common Theme

If all of your stress dreams are about work, or about your relationship- then maybe it is worth looking into! Try keeping track of the themes, which will help you determine if it is just a random event, or if there is a need to work through some of the causes of the stress.

When to Consider Therapy

If you are struggling to cope with stress dreams, or find that they are happening more commonly, there are many benefits of therapy. Therapists can help you with a safe place to address your stress and worries, prioritize self-care, and improve sleep with stress therapy options such as CBT for insomnia. You can start your search for the right therapist with an online therapist directory.

 In My Experience

In my experience, although they are distressing, stress dreams are common, normal, and usually nothing to be concerned about. Many will resolve on their own with time and self-care. For example, if you have a stress dream that you overslept the night before a long international flight, this is normal, and will likely resolve after you take the flight. However, sometimes people need additional support when experiencing a greater amount of, or a greater intensity of their dreams when they are dealing with the emotional aftermath of a chaotic or unsettling event. If this is you, please know that it is okay to seek support, and that treatment options are available and are very effective.