Skip to content
  • Mental Health Issues
    • Anxiety
    • ADHD
    • Bipolar Disorder
    • Depression
    • Grief
    • Narcissism
    • OCD
    • Personality Disorders
    • PTSD
  • Relationships
    • Dating
    • Marriage
    • Sex & Intimacy
    • Infidelity
    • Relationships 101
    • Best Online Couples Counseling Services
  • Wellness
    • Anger
    • Burnout
    • Stress
    • Sleep
    • Meditation
    • Mindfulness
    • Yoga
  • Therapy
    • Starting Therapy
    • Types of Therapy
    • Best Online Therapy Providers
    • Online Therapy Reviews & Guides
  • Medication
    • Anxiety Medication
    • Depression Medication
    • ADHD Medication
    • Best Online Psychiatrist Options
  • Reviews
    • Best Online Therapy
    • Best Online Therapy with Insurance
    • Best Online Therapy for Teens
    • Best Online Therapy for Anxiety
    • Best Online Therapy for Depression
    • Best Online ADHD Treatments
    • Best Online Psychiatry
    • Best Mental Health Apps
    • All Reviews
  • About Us
    • About Us
    • Editorial Policy
    • Advertising Policy
    • Find a Local Therapist
    • Join Our Free Directory

Join our Newsletter

Get helpful tips and the latest information

Choosing Therapy on Facebook
Choosing Therapy on Instagram
Choosing Therapy on Twitter
Choosing Therapy on Linkedin
Choosing Therapy on Pinterest
Choosing Therapy on Tiktok
Choosing Therapy on Youtube
ChoosingTherapy.com Logo

Newsletter

Search Icon
  • Mental Health Issues
    • Anxiety
    • ADHD
    • Bipolar Disorder
    • Depression
    • Grief
    • Narcissism
    • OCD
    • Personality Disorders
    • PTSD
  • Relationships
    • Dating
    • Marriage
    • Sex & Intimacy
    • Infidelity
    • Relationships 101
    • Best Online Couples Counseling Services
  • Wellness
    • Anger
    • Burnout
    • Stress
    • Sleep
    • Meditation
    • Mindfulness
    • Yoga
  • Therapy
    • Starting Therapy
    • Types of Therapy
    • Best Online Therapy Providers
    • Online Therapy Reviews & Guides
  • Medication
    • Anxiety Medication
    • Depression Medication
    • ADHD Medication
    • Best Online Psychiatrist Options
  • Reviews
    • Best Online Therapy
    • Best Online Therapy with Insurance
    • Best Online Therapy for Teens
    • Best Online Therapy for Anxiety
    • Best Online Therapy for Depression
    • Best Online ADHD Treatments
    • Best Online Psychiatry
    • Best Mental Health Apps
    • All Reviews
  • About Us
    • About Us
    • Editorial Policy
    • Advertising Policy
    • Find a Local Therapist
    • Join Our Free Directory
  • PrevalencePrevalence
  • CausesCauses
  • 12 Ways to Cope12 Ways to Cope
  • 1.1.
  • 2.2.
  • 3.3.
  • 4.4.
  • 5.5.
  • 6.6.
  • 7.7.
  • 8.8.
  • 9.9.
  • 10.10.
  • 11.11.
  • 12.12.
  • Getting HelpGetting Help
  • Additional ResourcesAdditional Resources
  • InfographicsInfographics
Loneliness Articles Loneliness Feeling Alone in a Relationship Fear of Being Alone

Why am I so Lonely? Causes & What to Do

Silvi Saxena MBA, MSW, LSW, CCTP, OSW-C

Author: Silvi Saxena, MBA, MSW, LSW, CCTP, OSW-C

Silvi Saxena MBA, MSW, LSW, CCTP, OSW-C

Silvi Saxena MBA, MSW, LSW, CCTP, OSW-C

Silvi Saxena specializes in grief, PTSD, anxiety, and depression. She also has experience in many other areas of mental healthcare.

See My Bio Editorial Policy
Headshot of Trishanna Sookdeo, MD, MPH, FAAFP

Medical Reviewer: Trishanna Sookdeo, MD, MPH, FAAFP Licensed medical reviewer

Published: April 13, 2022
  • PrevalencePrevalence
  • CausesCauses
  • 12 Ways to Cope12 Ways to Cope
  • 1.1.
  • 2.2.
  • 3.3.
  • 4.4.
  • 5.5.
  • 6.6.
  • 7.7.
  • 8.8.
  • 9.9.
  • 10.10.
  • 11.11.
  • 12.12.
  • Getting HelpGetting Help
  • Additional ResourcesAdditional Resources
  • InfographicsInfographics
Headshot of Silvi Saxena, MBA, MSW, LSW, CCTP, OSW-C
Written by:

Silvi Saxena

MBA, MSW, LSW, CCTP, OSW-C
Headshot of Trishanna Sookdeo, MD, MPH, FAAFP
Reviewed by:

Trishanna Sookdeo

MD, MPH, FAAFP

Loneliness is a common feeling everyone experiences at some point in their life. Feeling lonely can be a hard emotion to face, but you are not alone. It can feel like the lonely feeling will never go away, but with the right kind of coping mechanisms and understanding where it’s coming from can help. It is perfectly normal to feel lonely from time to time as humans are social by nature.

ADVERTISEMENT

Depression Is Treatable with Therapy

Would you like to feel more happiness and joy? BetterHelp has over 20,000 licensed therapists who provide convenient and affordable online therapy. BetterHelp starts at $65 per week and is FSA/HSA eligible by most providers. Take a free online assessment and get matched with the right therapist for you.

Free Assessment

Is It Normal to Feel Lonely?

It is typical to feel lonely on occasion. Everyone goes through changes in their life that can trigger these feelings and over time, these feelings start to go away as we adapt to the new changes in life. Loneliness impacts everyone from young adults to seniors and doesn’t discriminate to those who are only single. Even people who are married report feeling lonely.

If these feelings persist for a long time and feel like they are getting worse, it may be an indicator you are dealing with something else psychologically and it’s important to consider talking to a therapist.

Why Do I Feel So Alone? Reasons You Feel This Way

Feeling lonely can be caused  by many things. Circumstances like being single or a primary caregiver can make it hard to form connections with others, and there are many mental health conditions that can cause you to feel alone.

Reasons you may feel lonely include

  • You feel like you don’t fit in: It can be hard to know what to do when you don’t fit in. When you feel like you don’t belong, it can leave you feeling isolated and alone.
  • You have a mental illness: Underlying issues like depression, trauma or anxiety can trigger feelings of loneliness or leave you feeling a chronic sense of loneliness. It’s important to consider that your feelings may not be reality and to get professional help.
  • You’re single: When all your friends are in relationships and you’re the third wheel, it can leave you feeling lonely at times
  • You are a primary caregiver: If you are caring for a loved one who needs a lot of time and attention, such as an aging parent or a newborn, it can leave you feeling lonely as all your time and your lifestyle is based around the needs of someone else.
  • You live alone: Living alone can leave you feeling lonely just by the fact that there is no one else around to talk to or exist with.
  • You feel distant from family/friends: You are generally feeling distant from family and friends, either because of lifestyle changes, other demands or mental health–this feeling can make you feel more withdrawn as well.
  • You are dealing with grief: If you are dealing with grief after the death of a loved one, it can leave you feeling lonely, even if there are many living loved ones around you. Grief and engulf you in your feelings of loneliness.

ADVERTISEMENT

Help For Depression

BetterHelp – Get help from a licensed therapist. BetterHelp offers convenient and affordable online therapy starting at $65 per week and is FSA/HSA eligible by most providers. Free Assessment

Talkspace – Online Therapy With Or Without Insurance. Talkspace accepts many insurance plans including Optum, Cigna, and Aetna. Talkspace also accepts Medicare in some states. The average copay is $15, but many people pay $0. Get started

What to Do When You Feel Lonely

No matter how lonely you feel, there are things you can do to cope. Taking practical, actionable steps can help you feel more empowered and less lonely.

The following are 12 things to do when you feel lonely:

1. Do Yoga

Yoga allows individuals to express emotions through their body. There are a lot of benefits to moving your body and exercising, however yoga takes that one step further as the goal tends to be finding balance. When finding balance and an emotional equilibrium is at the center of one’s mind, it becomes that much easier to process stressful emotions to get to a balance. There are many guided yoga meditations and yoga assist classes that can help restore this missing balance.

2. Start Journaling

Journaling allows individuals to write how and what they are feeling about the stressors in their life without any judgment. They can pour their emotions onto a blank page and unload their fear, anxiety or depression from their mind and heart. Journaling allows individuals to keep a record of their reactions and over time reflect and find opportunities for emotional growth.

3. Call a Friend

Calling a friend or a loved one is a great way to connect and combat loneliness. Talking on the phone or having a video call helps to remind you you are not alone even if you are feeling lonely.

4. Try Mindfulness Meditation

Focus on your actions and emotions and comfort yourself. This isn’t selfish and in fact important to do in situations when you feel lonely so you don’t begin to internalize any negative emotions.

5. Join a Support Group

Support groups help you stay connected and supported when you may not have a lot of other support systems. Groups are a great way to feel a sense of belonging and empowerment.

6. Enter a Club Sport League

Similar to support groups, sports groups are a great way to join a team. Teams tend to lean towards friendship development and when people  can accomplish something together, it creates a deeper bond between people.

7. Exercise

Getting outside and moving your body is bound to make you feel better. Exercise is proven to improve mood due to the release of endorphins during cardiac activity. Exercising is also good for your body, and when your body feels better, your mind and spirit start to feel better.

8. Volunteer

Taking time to volunteer and help those less fortunate is important and can be very helpful in restoring gratitude. Volunteering helps us feel better because as humans we want to feel needed and helpful. When we can channel our emotions into helping others, we start to feel a sense of purpose and feel less lonely.

9. Keep a Structured Routine

Having a routine that includes some of the above and having structure can help you feel less lonely. When you have things to look forward to, you have goals and a purpose and that can help you feel better.

10. Go on Nature Walks

Nature is also very therapeutic. Taking a daily walk in your neighborhood or park is a great way to feel less lonely. When you are out in nature you are engaging with the world around you. Listening to some music while on your walk is a great way to remember how much is truly around you.

11. Consider Adopting a Pet

Having a pet companion is a great way to help our loneliness and likely a pet who is in need of a loving home. Having pets can give us a sense of routine and purpose as they rely on us to care for them. Pets are very loving and can give us a sense of belonging.

12. Attend Fairs & Events in Your Community

By taking steps to go to events and programs in your community, even by yourself, you can find yourself belonging to a community. You may meet people that way or run into someone you know. By being able to go out on your own, it can empower you and leave you feeling more encouraged.

When to Seek Professional Help

It’s important to understand what your baseline level of loneliness is and how much you tend to handle this and how much of that you feel is handled well. If you are living with roommates or a partner, getting their feedback might also be helpful in giving some insight as we can often overcompensate for ourselves when we are lonely.

When you start to feel tense muscles, physical pain, headaches, feel isolated, withdrawn and start to engage in avoidance behaviors, it’s important to consider getting professional help as these are signs of clinical depression. Changes in behaviors such as eating habits, alcohol use and mood swings can also be red flags that you’re undergoing a lot of negative emotions related to loneliness.

Sleep issues, general feelings of withdrawal of manic behaviors such as hyperarousal, anxiety and depression are also major signs that your body and mind need help. If these become so extreme that they are interfering with your normal activities of daily living, such as going to work, seeing family or friends or attending routine social gatherings, it’s a sign you may need to seek out professional help.

One great way to find a therapist for these types of relationships is by searching an online therapist directory. All licensed therapists are equipped to help people struggling with mental health issues. It is important to read reviews and look at clinician bios to understand the scope of their practice and get an idea about whether their experience suits your situation.

When you are trying to choose a therapist, many therapists offer a free phone consultation to help you know if you’ll be a good fit. Another way to locate a therapist is by referral, which can come from a trusted loved one or a physician. Healthcare providers often have access to a network of other providers who can be helpful. Going through your physician or specialist is a great way to keep them in the loop about any treatment options or trauma experienced.

Final Thoughts

It can be hard to admit and acknowledge that we are feeling lonely, even if we know we aren’t alone. Loneliness is hard to overcome but there are ways to improve how you feel. Trying at-home solutions is a great way to help yourself, but working with a therapist if these feelings are overwhelming is definitely something to consider. Together you and your therapist can come up with a plan to help you feel better.

Additional Resources

To help our readers take the next step in their mental health journey, ChoosingTherapy.com has partnered with leaders in mental health and wellness. ChoosingTherapy.com is compensated for marketing by the companies included below.

Online Therapy

BetterHelp – Get support and guidance from a licensed therapist. BetterHelp has over 30,000 therapists who provide convenient and affordable online therapy. BetterHelp starts at $65 per week and is FSA/HSA eligible by most providers. Take a free online assessment and get matched with the right therapist for you. Free Assessment

Therapy for Depression & Medication Management

Brightside Health – If you’re struggling with depression, finding the right medication can make a difference. Brightside Health treatment plans start at $95 per month. Following a free online evaluation and receiving a prescription, you can get FDA approved medications delivered to your door. Free Assessment

Depression Newsletter

A free newsletter from the experts at ChoosingTherapy.com for those impacted by depression. Get helpful tips and the latest information. Sign Up

ChoosingTherapy.com Directory 

Find local therapists that offer online and in-person therapy. Search for therapists by specialty, experience, insurance, and location. Find a therapist near you.

For Further Reading

  • How to Make Friends in a New City: Advice from a Therapist
  • National Alliance on Mental Health
  • MentalHealth.gov

SPONSORED
Online Depression Test

Online Depression Test

A few questions from Talkiatry can help you understand your symptoms and give you a recommendation for what to do next.

Take Test
Best Online Therapy for Depression

Best Online Therapy for Depression

Depression is a very common mental health concern. To find the best online therapy for depression, we spent hundreds of hours personally using and researching over 50 platforms. Our resulting list offers options with easy access to appointments, affordable pricing, coverage for major insurance plans, and some of the best therapist availability in the industry. Read on to see our top picks for the best online therapy for depression.

Read more
Best Online Psychiatry Services

Best Online Psychiatry Services

Online psychiatry, sometimes called telepsychiatry, platforms offer medication management by phone, video, or secure messaging for a variety of mental health conditions. In some cases, online psychiatry may be more affordable than seeing an in-person provider. Mental health treatment has expanded to include many online psychiatry and therapy services. With so many choices, it can feel overwhelming to find the one that is right for you.

Read more

Why am I so Lonely? Infographics

  Why am I so Lonely? Causes & What to Do  Why am I so Lonely? Causes & What to Do  Why am I so Lonely? Causes & What to Do

Depression Newsletter

A free newsletter for those impacted by depression. Get helpful tips and the latest information.

Your Voice Matters

Can't find what you're looking for?

Request an article! Tell ChoosingTherapy.com’s editorial team what questions you have about mental health, emotional wellness, relationships, and parenting. Our licensed therapists are just waiting to cover new topics you care about!

Request an Article

Leave your feedback for our editors.

Share your feedback on this article with our editors. If there’s something we missed or something we could improve on, we’d love to hear it.

Our writers and editors love compliments, too. :)

Leave Feedback
ChoosingTherapy.com Logo White
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Write for Us
  • Careers
  • Editorial Policy
  • Advertising Policy
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Service

FOR IMMEDIATE HELP CALL:

Medical Emergency: 911

Suicide Hotline: 988

View More Crisis Hotlines
Choosing Therapy on Facebook
Choosing Therapy on Instagram
Choosing Therapy on X
Choosing Therapy on Linkedin
Choosing Therapy on Pinterest
Choosing Therapy on Tiktok
Choosing Therapy on Youtube

© 2025 Choosing Therapy, Inc. All rights reserved.

X