• Mental Health
    • Anxiety
      • What is Anxiety?
      • Types of Anxiety Disorders
      • Signs & Symptoms of Anxiety
      • Treatments for Anxiety
      • Anxiety Statistics
      • See More Anxiety Content
      • Find an Anxiety Specialist
    • Depression
      • What is Depression?
      • Types of Depression
      • Signs & Symptoms of Depression
      • Treatments for Depression
      • Depression Statistics
      • Find a Depression Specialist
    • Bipolar Disorder
      • What is Bipolar Disorder?
      • Bipolar I vs. Bipolar II
      • Signs & Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder
      • What Are Bipolar Disorder Cycles?
      • Treatments for Bipolar Disorder
      • Find a Bipolar Disorder Specialist
    • ADHD
      • What is ADHD?
      • ADHD Signs & Symptoms
      • ADHD & Depression
      • Find an ADHD Specialist
    • Addiction
      • What is Addiction?
      • What Are Behavioral Addictions?
      • Addiction vs Dependence
      • Addiction Myths vs Facts
      • Addiction Statistics
      • How to Help a Friend
      • Find an Addiction Specialist
    • Eating Disorders
      • Anorexia
      • Bulimia
    • Personality Disorders
      • Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder
        • OCD vs. OCPD
    • Trauma
      • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
        • PTSD & COVID-19
      • Childhood Trauma
    • Sexual Disorders
      • Gender Dysphoria
      • Anorgasmia
      • Female Sexual Arousal Disorder (FSAD)
      • Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD)
      • Premature Ejaculation (PE)
      • Delayed Ejaculation
    • Schizophrenia
  • Therapy Techniques
    • Online Therapy
      • Best Online Therapy
      • Online Therapy for Teens
      • Best LGBTQ Online Therapy
      • Best Online Therapy for Insurance
    • Psychotherapy
    • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
      • CBT for Anxiety
      • CBT for Social Anxiety
      • CBT for Panic Disorder
      • CBT for Insomnia
      • CBT Online
    • Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)
      • DBT for Teens
    • Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
    • Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)
      • EMDR for PTSD
      • EMDR for Anxiety
      • EMDR Online
    • Art Therapy
    • Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA)
    • Exposure and Response Prevention
    • Group Therapy
    • Hypnotherapy
    • Motivational Interviewing
    • Person Centered Therapy
    • Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy
    • Sex Therapy
  • Types of Therapists
    • Faith-Based & Christian Counselors
    • Life Coaching
    • Family Therapist
      • Child & Teen Counseling
    • Marriage & Couples Counselors
      • Premarital Counseling
    • Psychiatrist
      • Psychology vs. Psychiatry
    • Psychotherapist
    • Grief Counselors
    • Online Therapists
  • Starting Therapy FAQ
    • Does Therapy Work?
      • How to Find a Therapist
      • Helping a Friend or Loved One
    • How to Choose a Therapist
      • Finding a Black Therapist
      • Finding a Latinx Therapist
      • Finding an LGBTQ-Friendly Therapist
      • Finding a Therapist as a Young Adult
      • Finding an Online Therapist
    • Preparing for Your First Session
    • Types of Mental Health Professionals
    • Mental Health Insurance
      • HSAs for Therapy
      • Sliding Scale Therapy Fees
    • Mental Health in the Workplace
      • Asking for a Mental Health Day
      • Taking Time Off for Mental Health
    • Top Mental Health Organizations
      • Mental Health Resources Outside the U.S.
  • About Us
    • About Us
    • Editorial Policy
    • Advertising Policy
    • Privacy Policy
    • Contact Us
    • Write for Us
    • Join the Directory
    • Careers
  • Therapist Directory
    • Find a Therapist
    • Join the Directory
    • Directory Login
  • Mental Health
    • Anxiety
      • What is Anxiety?
      • Types of Anxiety Disorders
      • Signs & Symptoms of Anxiety
      • Treatments for Anxiety
      • Anxiety Statistics
      • See More Anxiety Content
      • Find an Anxiety Specialist
    • Depression
      • What is Depression?
      • Types of Depression
      • Signs & Symptoms of Depression
      • Treatments for Depression
      • Depression Statistics
      • Find a Depression Specialist
    • Bipolar Disorder
      • What is Bipolar Disorder?
      • Bipolar I vs. Bipolar II
      • Signs & Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder
      • What Are Bipolar Disorder Cycles?
      • Treatments for Bipolar Disorder
      • Find a Bipolar Disorder Specialist
    • ADHD
      • What is ADHD?
      • ADHD Signs & Symptoms
      • ADHD & Depression
      • Find an ADHD Specialist
    • Addiction
      • What is Addiction?
      • What Are Behavioral Addictions?
      • Addiction vs Dependence
      • Addiction Myths vs Facts
      • Addiction Statistics
      • How to Help a Friend
      • Find an Addiction Specialist
    • Eating Disorders
      • Anorexia
      • Bulimia
    • Personality Disorders
      • Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder
        • OCD vs. OCPD
    • Trauma
      • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
        • PTSD & COVID-19
      • Childhood Trauma
    • Sexual Disorders
      • Gender Dysphoria
      • Anorgasmia
      • Female Sexual Arousal Disorder (FSAD)
      • Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD)
      • Premature Ejaculation (PE)
      • Delayed Ejaculation
    • Schizophrenia
  • Therapy Techniques
    • Online Therapy
      • Best Online Therapy
      • Online Therapy for Teens
      • Best LGBTQ Online Therapy
      • Best Online Therapy for Insurance
    • Psychotherapy
    • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
      • CBT for Anxiety
      • CBT for Social Anxiety
      • CBT for Panic Disorder
      • CBT for Insomnia
      • CBT Online
    • Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)
      • DBT for Teens
    • Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
    • Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)
      • EMDR for PTSD
      • EMDR for Anxiety
      • EMDR Online
    • Art Therapy
    • Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA)
    • Exposure and Response Prevention
    • Group Therapy
    • Hypnotherapy
    • Motivational Interviewing
    • Person Centered Therapy
    • Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy
    • Sex Therapy
  • Types of Therapists
    • Faith-Based & Christian Counselors
    • Life Coaching
    • Family Therapist
      • Child & Teen Counseling
    • Marriage & Couples Counselors
      • Premarital Counseling
    • Psychiatrist
      • Psychology vs. Psychiatry
    • Psychotherapist
    • Grief Counselors
    • Online Therapists
  • Starting Therapy FAQ
    • Does Therapy Work?
      • How to Find a Therapist
      • Helping a Friend or Loved One
    • How to Choose a Therapist
      • Finding a Black Therapist
      • Finding a Latinx Therapist
      • Finding an LGBTQ-Friendly Therapist
      • Finding a Therapist as a Young Adult
      • Finding an Online Therapist
    • Preparing for Your First Session
    • Types of Mental Health Professionals
    • Mental Health Insurance
      • HSAs for Therapy
      • Sliding Scale Therapy Fees
    • Mental Health in the Workplace
      • Asking for a Mental Health Day
      • Taking Time Off for Mental Health
    • Top Mental Health Organizations
      • Mental Health Resources Outside the U.S.
  • About Us
    • About Us
    • Editorial Policy
    • Advertising Policy
    • Privacy Policy
    • Contact Us
    • Write for Us
    • Join the Directory
    • Careers
  • Therapist Directory
    • Find a Therapist
    • Join the Directory
    • Directory Login
Skip to content

Attachment Parenting: Principles, Criticisms, & Benefits

Published: December 8, 2022 Updated: January 4, 2023
Published: 12/08/2022 Updated: 01/04/2023
Headshot of Nicole Arzt, LMFT
Written by:

Nicole Arzt

LMFT
Headshot of Benjamin Troy, MD
Reviewed by:

Heidi Moawad

MD
  • What Is Attachment Parenting?Attachment Therapy
  • Original Principles of Attachment ParentingOriginal Principles
  • Updated Attachment Parenting PrinciplesUpdated Principles
  • Criticisms of Attachment ParentingCriticisms
  • Benefits of Attachment Parenting5 Benefits
  • Examples of Attachment ParentingExamples
  • Is Attachment Parenting Right for My Family?Is It Right for My Family?
  • Final ThoughtsConclusion
  • Additional ResourcesResources
  • Attachment Parenting InfographicsInfographics
Headshot of Nicole Arzt, LMFT
Written by:

Nicole Arzt

LMFT
Headshot of Benjamin Troy, MD
Reviewed by:

Heidi Moawad

MD

Attachment parenting is based on the concept of attachment theory, which focuses on the initial bonds between an infant and their caregiver. Attachment parenting emphasizes themes of parental attunement, empathy, and responsiveness to a child’s needs. Attachment advocates believe that this approach to parenting helps increase a child’s sense of resilience and fosters better self-esteem.

Therapy can help you discover which parenting style works best for your family. BetterHelp has over 20,000 licensed therapists who provide convenient and affordable online therapy. BetterHelp starts at $60 per week. Complete a brief questionnaire and get matched with the right therapist for you.

Choosing Therapy partners with leading mental health companies and is compensated for referrals by BetterHelp

Visit BetterHelp

What Is Attachment Parenting?

Attachment parenting is a modern approach focused on a parent’s attunement and reactions to their child’s needs. It focuses on strengthening attachment within the parent-child relationship using designated tools (known as baby B’s). The idea is that strong attachment bonds can nurture a child’s self-worth, which in turn improves their emotional well-being throughout life. Proponents of this approach state that this parenting style is intuitive and rooted in evolutionary concepts.

What Is Attachment Theory?

Attachment theory comes from the work of psychologist John Bowlby, who viewed attachment as the emotional bonds shared between human beings. His work focused on the distress children experienced when separated from their primary caregivers.

Psychologist Mary Ainsworth further expanded upon Bowlby’s research with her ‘strange situation’ study, which examined how babies react after being segregated from their parents. Their reactions helped her identify and define attachment styles.1

Original Principles of Attachment Parenting

The primary principles of attachment parenting come from the work of pediatrician Dr. William Sears. In 1993, he and his wife, Martha Sears, published their well-known book, The Baby Book, which evolved into the first manual for attachment parenting.2 For the past 25 years, Attachment Parenting International has focused on teaching and promoting how to raise ‘secure, joyful, and empathetic children.’3

The eight principles of attachment parenting include:

  • Prepare for parenting: Try to reduce negative thoughts and feelings about pregnancy. Lean into the process of getting ready to do the work of parenting.
  • Breastfeeding: Attachment parenting recommends breastfeeding, as breast milk contains unique nutrients essential for an infant’s growth and well-being.
  • Be sensitive: Consider that all emotions are valid and that every cry, tantrum, or expression has a legitimate purpose. Aim to understand rather than immediately punish.
  • Skin-to-skin contact: Touch provides soothing relief. Consider babywearing, taking baths together, and holding your baby often.
  • Nighttime parenting: Make co-sleeping arrangements where your baby is in the room with you at nighttime.
  • Provide unconditional love: Stay present and engaged with your baby. Aim to be loving and consistent as often as possible.
  • Provide positive discipline: Try to focus on connecting with your baby, rather than disciplining during moments of tension. Consider how you can collaborate and work with your child to resolve conflict.
  • Aim for balance: Tap into your support system, practice self-care, and take strategies to avoid parental burnout.

Updated Attachment Parenting Principles

The original eight principles of attachment parenting have since been updated (referred to as Baby B’s and attachment tools), but remain similar to the first concepts. In this revised approach, Dr. Sears acknowledges that attachment parenting is an approach, rather than a rigid set of rules. Therefore, parents should do the best they can with the resources they have. Ultimately, parents need to do what’s best for their family.

The seven “Baby B’s” of attachment parenting include4

  • Birth bonding: Early bonding experiences include significant time and contact together. During this time, babies are primed to crave closeness with their mothers, and immediate bonding builds that foundation.
  • Breastfeeding: Mothers and babies learn from each other through breastfeeding. Breastfeeding also produces connective hormones like prolactin and oxytocin.
  • Baby-wearing: Carried babies learn more about their environment when they’re in a constant state of calmness. Parents get to know their babies well, due to them being so close.
  • Bed sharing: Close proximity to caregivers allows babies to feel safe while sleeping. Babies learn that sleep can be pleasant and enjoyable.
  • Belief in baby’s cries: Crying signals that a baby needs something. A parent responding attentively to these cries continuously promotes trust.
  • Beware of baby trainers: Be mindful of rigid, extreme parenting styles that focus more on watching clocks or crying it out than understanding your baby. Even if baby trainers provide short-term relief, they create distance between the parent and baby.
  • Balance: Parents need to take care of themselves and focus on their own relationships, too. This allows them to be more responsive to their baby.

Popular Options For Child & Teen Therapy

Talkiatry – Talkiatry offers virtual psychiatry for children and adolescents (age 6 and up). They’re in-network with every major insurer and offer medication management with talk therapy. Complete the online assessment and get matched with a doctor in just days. Free Assessment


Teen Counseling – Provides online talk therapy to teenagers (13 – 19 years) of age. Serves all 50 states. Learn More


Manatee – Provides parent coaching for behavioral issues including tantrums, talking back, video game addiction, and aggressive behaviors. Free Consultation


Choosing Therapy partners with leading mental health companies and is compensated for marketing by Talkiatry, Teen Counseling, and Manatee.

Criticisms of Attachment Parenting

The premise behind attachment parenting is controversial. Critics of this parenting approach argue that it promotes unrealistic expectations for parents, particularly with variables that may be out of their control (such as the ability to bond immediately after birth or breastfeed). Moreover, there is a big emphasis on the role of the mother, which disregards other family systems or caregivers. Likewise, research shows that ‘tight parenting’ (being together all the time) often diminishes healthy attachment.5

Criticisms of attachment parenting include:

  • Infant death: The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) discourages bedsharing, as it can increase the possibility of strangulation, suffocation, and SIDS.6
  • Multiple caregivers: Attachment parenting strongly focuses on the relationship between mother and baby. This is not inclusive of all families, and it doesn’t inherently take into account the role of babysitters, nannies, or other providers.
  • All-or-nothing mindset: Following any parenting style as if it’s an exact formula often moves situations into an all-or-nothing approach.
  • Internalized shame: Parents may feel guilty if they cannot or do not want to do everything according to this style. They may believe they’re the problem, and struggle with feeling like a bad parent as a result.
  • It’s not the same as attachment theory: Children with attentive and responsive parents have a greater chance of being securely attached. These abstract principles do not inherently coincide with bedsharing, babywearing, or breastfeeding.

5 Benefits of Attachment Parenting

When practiced safely and effectively, many families can reap the benefits of attachment parenting. Like with any other approach, it’s best to consider a balanced, flexible approach. Trying to do things perfectly will likely backfire for everyone.

Here are five benefits of attachment parenting:

1. Emotional Regulation in Children

Research shows that attuning to a child’s needs helps them recognize and manage their own emotions. This process is known as emotional regulation, and it’s critical at all stages of life. When parents can respond to their child appropriately, the child learns how to manage their emotions themselves.

2. Increased Child Comfort

Fussier newborns and young babies may respond well to attachment parenting. They feel soothed by their caregivers, and there’s a state of mutual understanding. The child trusts the parent will be there to help them, and the parent builds confidence knowing they can support their distressed child.

3. Increased Bonding

Many parents find it challenging to bond with their children. Attachment parenting offers a gentle approach to connecting physically and emotionally through various methods (breastfeeding, lots of physical touch, validating emotions). Even if you apply just a few strategies to your parenting style, you may find that it deepens the relationship with your child.

4. Safer Home Environments

When a child is young, their home is their entire world. Even as they grow older, home still acts as the initial blueprint for safety, autonomy, and comfort. By building a safe home environment, your child may experience less stress and more confidence.

5. Secure Attachment

Attachment parenting can foster secure attachment in children. When children are raised in loving, attentive homes, they learn that their needs are important and valued. They feel confident in the world, and they tend to enjoy healthier relationships with themselves and others.

Examples of Attachment Parenting

Attachment parenting can be applied to children at any age. Of course, how you parent a newborn is significantly different from how you parent a baby or toddler. Like with any parenting strategy, you may need to use a trial and error approach to determine what works best for you.

Examples of attachment parenting include:

Newborns

  • Breastfeed after birth
  • Follow the baby’s cues for hunger and feed on-demand
  • Soothe the baby while crying
  • Avoid sleep schedules

0-12 Months

  • Continue breastfeeding based on baby’s needs
  • Hold the baby in a baby carrier
  • Recognize that every cry is a type of communication
  • Spend one-on-one time interacting and playing with the baby
  • Let the baby tell you what they need instead of following a set schedule

Toddlers

  • Validate emotions regularly
  • Intervene with the intention of connecting rather than disciplining
  • Embrace the toddler’s unique sense of self
  • Continue with physical closeness and comforting touch
  • Be mindful of stressing about milestones or other rigid guidelines

Is Attachment Parenting Right for My Family?

Incorporating aspects of attachment parenting can strengthen the relationship you have with your child. It’s important to be validating and empathic to what children need. That said, every family is different, and it’s important to find parenting approaches that are both safe and align with your values. However, parenting disagreements can often be a source of tension among couples. If that’s the case, couples therapy or family therapy may help you and your partner get on the same page.

Final Thoughts

There is no perfect parenting approach, and all philosophies have their strengths and drawbacks. Attachment parenting offers a framework for supportive, attuned connections. However, parenting is not the same for everyone, and it’s important to be willing to find what works best for your unique family.

Additional Resources

Education is just the first step on our path to improved mental health and emotional wellness. To help our readers take the next step in their journey, Choosing Therapy has partnered with leaders in mental health and wellness. Choosing Therapy may be compensated for marketing by the companies mentioned below.

Parent Coaching (for parents with younger children)

Manatee – Solution focused parent coaching. Engage in a systematic process of identifying, understanding, and finding solutions for the most common childhood behaviors. Free Consultation

Online Therapy 

BetterHelp – Get support and guidance from a licensed therapist. BetterHelp has over 20,000 therapists who provide convenient and affordable online therapy.  Complete a brief questionnaire and get matched with the right therapist for you. Get Started

Virtual Psychiatry

Talkiatry – Get help from a real doctor that takes your insurance. Talkiatry offers medication management and online visits with top-rated psychiatrists. Take the online assessment and have your first appointment within a week. Free Assessment

Choosing Therapy Directory 

You can search for therapists by specialty, experience, insurance, or price, and location.  Find a therapist today.

Choosing Therapy partners with leading mental health companies and is compensated for marketing by Manatee, BetterHelp, and Talkiatry.

For Further Reading

  • Mental Health America
  • National Alliance on Mental Health
  • MentalHealth.gov
  • >What Is Attachment-Based Therapy?
  • The 21 Best Parenting Books
  • Best Christian Parenting Books for 2022
  • Parenting Styles

Attachment Parenting Infographics

What Is Attachment Parenting?   Benefits of Attachment Parenting   Is Attachment Parenting Right for My Family?

6 sources

Choosing Therapy strives to provide our readers with mental health content that is accurate and actionable. We have high standards for what can be cited within our articles. Acceptable sources include government agencies, universities and colleges, scholarly journals, industry and professional associations, and other high-integrity sources of mental health journalism. Learn more by reviewing our full editorial policy.

  • Attachment, Exploration, and Separation: Illustrated by the Behavior of One-Year-Olds in a Strange Situation (1970). JSTOR. Retrieved from: https://www.jstor.org/stable/1127388?origin=crossref.

  • Attachment Parenting (2020). AskDrSears. Retrieved from: https://www.askdrsears.com/topics/parenting/attachment-parenting/.

  • About Us. (n.d.). Attachment Parenting International. Retrieved from: https://www.attachmentparenting.org/about-us.

  • Attachment Parenting Basics (2020). AskDrSears. Retrieved from: https://www.askdrsears.com/topics/parenting/attachment-parenting/attachment-parenting-babies/

  • Why Attachment Parenting Is Not the Same as Secure Attachment (2018). Greater Good Magazine. Retrieved from: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_attachment_parenting_is_not_the_same_as_secure_attachment.

  • American Academy of Pediatrics Updates Safe Sleep Recommendations: Back is Best (2022). American Academy of Pediatrics. Retrieved from: https://www.aap.org/en/news-room/news-releases/aap/2022/american-academy-of-pediatrics-updates-safe-sleep-recommendations-back-is-best/.

Recent Articles

Gender-Neutral Parenting: What It Is, Pros, & Cons
Gender-neutral parenting describes the practice of encouraging children to explore the world and express themselves in ways that are...
';
What Is Free Range Parenting? Definition, Pros and Cons
Free-Range Parenting: Definition, Characteristics, Pros & Cons
Free-range parenting is a parenting style in which caregivers give children more independence and less supervision, with the goal...
';
What Is Parallel Parenting
What Is Parallel Parenting? 10 Tips for Success
Parallel parenting is a model of parenting that may be appropriate for separated or divorced couples who are unable...
';
What Is Conscious Parenting? Definition, Examples, & Benefits
What Is Conscious Parenting? Definition, Examples, & Benefits
Conscious parenting is a philosophy that encourages a parent to focus first and foremost on their own thoughts, feelings,...
';
Best Books on Parenting Teenagers
13 Best Books on Parenting Teenagers for 2022
Parenting teens can be difficult, but you don't have to figure it all out on your own. We've gathered...
';
Overbearing Mother
Overbearing Mother: Signs & How to Deal
Overbearing mothers hover, criticize, and overstep boundaries, which can lead to a host of challenges for their adult children...
';
Headshot of Nicole Arzt, LMFT
Written by:

Nicole Arzt

LMFT
Headshot of Benjamin Troy, MD
Reviewed by:

Heidi Moawad

MD
  • What Is Attachment Parenting?Attachment Therapy
  • Original Principles of Attachment ParentingOriginal Principles
  • Updated Attachment Parenting PrinciplesUpdated Principles
  • Criticisms of Attachment ParentingCriticisms
  • Benefits of Attachment Parenting5 Benefits
  • Examples of Attachment ParentingExamples
  • Is Attachment Parenting Right for My Family?Is It Right for My Family?
  • Final ThoughtsConclusion
  • Additional ResourcesResources
  • Attachment Parenting InfographicsInfographics
If you are in need of immediate medical help:
Medical
Emergency
911
Suicide Hotline
800-273-8255
See more Crisis Hotlines
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Write for Us
  • Careers
  • Editorial Policy
  • Advertising Policy
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Service
  • No Surprises Act
For immediate help call:
Medical Emergency:
911
Suicide Hotline:
988
Click For More Crisis Hotlines
For immediate help call:
Medical Emergency:
911
Suicide Hotline:
811
See more Crisis Hotlines
here
logo
This site complies with the HONcode standard for trustworthy health information:
verify here.
This website is certified by Health On the Net Foundation. Click to verify.
Choosing Therapy Logo
We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. However, you may visit Cookie Settings to provide controlled consent. Cookie settings ACCEPT
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

We use cookies to facilitate website functionality. Also, we use third-party cookies to track your website behavior and target advertising. These cookies are stored in your browser only with your consent, and you have the choice of opting out.
Necessary
Always Enabled

Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.

Non Necessary

Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.

Save & Accept