Depression After a Breakup: Signs, Causes, & How to Cope

Can a Breakup Cause Depression?

Breakups can cause depression for a variety of reasons. One reason is the loss of a support system that a relationship often provides. A partner’s emotional intimacy and companionship can create a sense of stability and comfort, and its absence can lead to isolation and loneliness.¹ Furthermore, individuals with pre-existing mental health issues may find their conditions worsened by the stress of a breakup.

Additionally, breakups can bring up identity changes. People often invest a part of their self-identity into relationships, and when it ends, they may struggle to redefine who they are. The loss of plans and shared goals can also be devastating, as it disrupts what one had envisioned for their life and potentially contributes to feelings of failure.¹

Depression Vs. Sadness After A Breakup

There are some important differences between normal sadness and clinical depression following a breakup. Normal sadness typically involves feelings of grief, sadness, and a sense of loss, which are natural responses to the end of a relationship or loss. These emotions tend to lessen with time, and individuals can still find joy in other aspects of their lives.

On the other hand, clinical depression often presents with more severe symptoms, such as prolonged and overwhelming feelings of emptiness and hopelessness, as well as a loss of interest in activities that were once enjoyed. Physical symptoms like changes in appetite and sleep patterns may also be prominent. Clinical depression lasts longer than the expected period of grief after a breakup and can significantly interfere with daily functioning.

Signs & Symptoms of Depression After a Breakup

After a breakup, individuals may experience a range of physical and psychological symptoms indicative of depression. These can include persistent sadness, hopelessness, and emptiness. Depression can impact sleep, appetite, and concentration, as well as cause a person to withdraw from social activities and lose interest in things they used to enjoy. Understanding the signs and symptoms can help with when to seek support.

Common signs and symptoms of depression after a breakup include: 

• Persistent sadness and tearfulness.
• Feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness.
• Loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities.
• Changes in appetite and weight (either significant increase or decrease).
• Disturbances in sleep patterns (insomnia or oversleeping).
• Fatigue and low energy levels.
• Difficulty concentrating and making decisions.
• Social withdrawal and isolation.
• Physical symptoms like headaches and stomachaches.
• Thoughts of self-harm or suicidal ideation (in severe cases).

How Long Does Breakup Depression Last?

The length of time breakup-related depression can last varies from person to person. For some, it may be a relatively short-lived phase lasting a few weeks to a couple of months, while for others, it can last for a much more extended period. The nature of the relationship and the circumstances of the breakup is one of several factors that can influence the length of depressive episodes.

Those with strong support systems, effective coping mechanisms, and good mental health before the breakup may recover more quickly. In contrast, those with pre-existing mental health issues or particularly challenging breakups may experience longer depressive episodes. One study found that traits such as a lack of flexibility, neuroticism, and rumination can play a role in depression post-breakup.²

How to Cope With Depression After a Breakup

Coping with depression after a breakup involves a combination of self-care, developing coping skills, and seeking support. Prioritizing self-care includes maintaining a routine, regularly exercising, practicing mindfulness or meditation, and getting adequate sleep and nutrition. Talking to friends and family can provide valuable emotional support. If depression intensifies, consider seeking professional help to address underlying issues and develop effective coping strategies.

Here are eight ways to cope with depression after a breakup:

1. Allow Yourself to Grieve

Allowing yourself to go through the stages of grief after a breakup can help in coping with the accompanying depression. It’s important to recognize and validate your emotions, understanding that feeling sad and heartbroken is a natural response to the end of a significant relationship. Suppressing or denying these emotions can extend the healing process.

Instead, give yourself permission to experience and express your feelings healthily. This can include talking to a trusted friend or therapist, journaling, or simply allowing yourself moments of solitude to reflect on your emotions. One study found that those who practice self-compassion after a breakup could also practice self-forgiveness, leading to emotional healing.³

2. Limit Contact with Your Ex

Limiting contact with your ex-partner can create emotional space and allow you the opportunity to heal. Continued contact can often trigger painful emotions and be a barrier to the healing process. Establish clear boundaries, such as reducing communication, not following on social media, and avoiding places or activities that may lead to chance encounters. If you are leaving a toxic relationship, explore the option of going entirely no contact.

3. Seek Professional Support

Beginning therapy after a breakup is important if depression persists or worsens after a breakup. A therapist can offer specialized guidance and coping skills for depression that are tailored to your unique situation. Therapy provides a safe space to explore and address underlying emotional issues, develop effective coping strategies, and gain valuable insights into your thoughts and behaviors.

Finding the right therapist involves several steps. Start by identifying your specific needs and preferences, such as the type of therapy, gender or cultural match, and location. An online therapist directory and online therapy platforms can be beneficial in this process, allowing you to browse profiles, read reviews, and assess qualifications. Online psychiatrist options are also a choice for medication management, as they can provide assessments, prescribe medications, and offer ongoing monitoring.

4. Practice Self-Care

Practicing self-care for depression is important whenever you are struggling, especially post-breakup. Prioritize your well-being by maintaining a routine that provides structure and stability. Ensure you’re eating a balanced diet and getting enough rest, which are critical for physical and emotional health. Engage in physical activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Self-care can help increase your mood while coping with the sadness surrounding your breakup.

5. Stay Connected

Staying connected with your support system of friends and family can help you cope with depression after a breakup. These relationships offer emotional support, understanding, and companionship during a challenging period. Reach out to your loved ones, share your feelings, and allow them to be there for you. Talking to someone you trust can provide a sense of comfort and reassurance, helping you navigate the emotional ups and downs of post-breakup depression.

6. Try Mindfulness & Meditation

Practicing mindfulness for depression and meditation for depression can be practical tools for managing depression after a breakup. Mindfulness involves being fully present in the moment and accepting your emotions without judgment. It helps break the cycle of negative self-talk that often comes with depression after a breakup. Meditation, on the other hand, promotes relaxation, reduces stress, and enhances emotional strength.

To get started, set aside a few minutes each day to sit quietly, focus on your breath, and observe your thoughts and feelings without trying to change them. Guided meditation apps or classes can be helpful for beginners. You can also integrate mindfulness into daily activities by paying attention to your senses and emotions as you mindfully eat, walk, or engage in routine tasks.

7. Engage in Physical Activity

Engaging in physical activity is a powerful tool for coping with depression after a breakup. Exercise triggers the release of endorphins, natural mood-lifters that can help reduce feelings of sadness and feeling overwhelmed. Regular physical activity also promotes better sleep, increases energy levels, and enhances self-esteem, all of which can counter the symptoms of depression.

Additionally, exercise can be a constructive distraction from negative thoughts and rumination. When you’re focused on a physical activity or workout, your mind tends to shift away from distressing emotions, allowing you to take a short break from the emotional pain of a breakup. Incorporating exercise into your daily routine can be a valuable part of your overall strategy for managing depression and promoting emotional well-being.

8. Begin Journaling

Journaling about your depression can be a valuable tool in coping with depression after a breakup. Keeping a journal allows you to express your thoughts and feelings safely and privately. By putting your emotions into words, you gain insight into your feelings, helping you make sense of what you’re experiencing. Writing down your thoughts can also provide a sense of release and reduce the emotional overwhelm.

Over time, journaling can reveal patterns in your emotions, behaviors, and thought processes, allowing you to identify focus areas for healing and personal growth. It’s a simple yet effective practice that can significantly improve your emotional well-being during this challenging period.

How to Deal With a Breakup When You Already Have Depression

Dealing with a breakup when you already have depression can be challenging, as the emotional pain of a breakup can increase existing depressive symptoms. It’s important to prioritize self-care and seek professional support if necessary. Continue with your established treatment plan if you’re already in therapy or taking medication for depression, and consider increasing the frequency of sessions during this time.

Additionally, lean on your friends and family for emotional support and communicate your needs openly. Engage in self-soothing activities, practice mindfulness to manage overwhelming thoughts, and allow yourself to grieve. Remember that healing may take longer in this situation, but with the right support and coping strategies, you can navigate the challenges of a breakup while managing your depression effectively.

Treatment Options for Depression After a Breakup

Treatment options for depression often include a combination of approaches tailored to an individual’s needs. It may involve therapy to address emotional and behavioral patterns. Medication may be prescribed when appropriate and monitored by a psychiatrist. Lifestyle changes and support groups can also complement professional treatment. The plan’s effectiveness depends on the individual’s unique circumstances and the collaboration with their support system.

Treatment options for depression include:⁴

• Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): CBT for depression focuses on identifying and changing negative thought patterns and behaviors that contribute to depression. It helps individuals develop more constructive ways of thinking and coping with challenges.
• Interpersonal therapy (IPT): IPT concentrates on improving interpersonal relationships and communication skills. It aims to address interpersonal conflicts and life transitions that may contribute to or exacerbate depression.
• Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT): Originally designed to treat borderline personality disorder, DBT is also effective for depression. It combines elements of CBT with mindfulness techniques to help individuals regulate emotions and manage distressing situations.
• Psychodynamic therapy: Psychodynamic therapy explores how past experiences and unconscious conflicts may influence current emotions and behaviors. It encourages insight and self-awareness as a means of addressing depressive symptoms.
• Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT): MBCT combines elements of CBT with mindfulness practices to prevent the recurrence of depression. It helps individuals become more aware of their thoughts and feelings and learn to disengage from automatic negative thought patterns.
• Behavioral activation: Behavioral activation, or activity scheduling, focuses on increasing engagement in rewarding and fulfilling activities to combat depression. It helps individuals rebuild their daily routines and regain a sense of purpose.
• Problem-solving therapy (PST): PST helps individuals develop practical problem-solving skills to address life stressors and challenges that contribute to their depression.
• Group therapy: Group therapy involves sessions with a small group of individuals who are also struggling with depression after a breakup. It provides opportunities for support, sharing experiences, and learning from others.
• Medication: Antidepressant medications, such as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) or serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs), may be prescribed by a psychiatrist to help alleviate depressive symptoms.