When parenting a child with ADHD, it is important to understand how your actions may impact your child’s ADHD symptoms. Emphasize consistency at home, and advocate for your child at school. Don’t forget to be compassionate to yourself. If you feel like you are at a loss, asking a professional for help is a good step.
How ADHD Affects Children
The effects of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) can wear away at a child’s self-esteem. Getting in trouble for failing to remember rules or complete a specific task can cause a child to experience shame and guilt. If the failures begin to add up, the child may also develop a sense of helplessness about being able to improve in the future.
The two primary types of ADHD in children are inattentive ADHD, and hyperactive-impulsive ADHD. Children with attentive ADHD will likely have difficulty concentrating and poor organizational skills, whereas children with hyperactive-impulsive ADHD will likely have trouble sitting still and listening. Symptoms of ADHD closely mirror behaviors that occur commonly in neurotypical children, making diagnosing ADHD difficult. However, ADHD behaviors differ from neurotypical behaviors in their frequency and severity.
Common signs and symptoms of inattentive ADHD in children include:
- Difficulty paying attention in school or other activities
- Trouble understanding and following verbal direction
- Struggling to complete tasks without getting sidetracked
- Difficulty with organization, such as keeping belongings in order
- Avoiding tasks that require mental effort, such as homework
- Losing things needed for school or other activities
- Being easily distracted
- Forgetfulness1
Common signs and symptoms of hyperactive-impulsive ADHD in children include:
- Excessive fidgeting and squirming
- Difficulty to play quietly
- Talking excessively in conversations
- Interrupting others to answer questions, whether in school or during an activity
- Difficulty waiting their turn when standing in line, or during a game1
11 Tips for How to Parent a Child With ADHD
Some of the choices you make when parenting your child will impact how much their ADHD affects their life. Creating a consistent home environment and advocating for them at school will help your child succeed and build self-esteem. Although you may seem at odds at times, remember that your child is also struggling and recognize that you’re in this together.
Here are eleven tips for parenting a child with ADHD:
1. Encourage Physical Activity
Being physically active is an ideal way for your child to use up all their excess energy, helping them to sit and concentrate when necessary. Exercise also provides many other mental health benefits, like reducing anxiety and depression, which often co-occur with ADHD.
2. Reduce Screen Time
Studies show that screen time increases inattentiveness in children who have ADHD, and can also heighten emotional dysregulation.3 Replace your child’s screen time with activities that help their brain to focus, such as playing with legos, or board games.
3. Set & Stick To Bedtimes
Getting enough sleep will help improve your child’s mental health, and help them more effectively navigate their day. A recent study found that 55% of people with ADHD experience sleep disturbances.4 Based on this data, researchers suggest that symptoms of ADHD may significantly decrease just by getting more sleep.5 Additionally, if your child is well-rested, they will have the mental energy needed to combat inattention and hyperactivity.
4. Find Structured Tasks That Your Child Enjoys
Creating a structured environment can be very helpful in teaching your child to thrive despite their inattentive or hyperactive tendencies. The problem is that all children, both ADHD and neurotypical, fight back against structure. Focus on finding structured activities or tasks that can be fun for them. For example, research shows that video games can improve attention, working memory, and inhibition in children with ADHD.6 Provide your child with a structured amount of gaming time, which will simultaneously make them happy and help their ADHD symptoms.
5. Give Quality Attention
Giving your child quality attention can help you become more aware of how their ADHD impacts them and their needs. Additionally, focusing on your child, rather than allowing yourself to be pulled away when they need your attention, will model for them what healthy attentiveness looks like.
6. Give Lots Of Praise
Praise can give your child ammunition against the negative conclusions they have drawn about themselves due to their ADHD. If you notice your child doing something good, praise them for exactly why you appreciate what they are doing. This labeled praise reiterates to the child the reason for their success, and reinforces their behavior. A recent study noted that children with inattentive-type ADHD respond well to labeled praise because it helps them focus on what is appreciated.7
7. Develop Simple Routines
Simple routines are small, achievable tasks that your child repeats daily. A simple bedtime routine could include brushing teeth, and arranging clothes for the morning. A simple mealtime routine could involve putting playthings away and carrying their plate to the sink. Using simple routines can help your child focus, and complete the task at hand, which helps to build confidence in their capabilities.
8. Use Firm But Gentle Consequences
When parenting a child with ADHD, discipline needs to be consistent, simple, and firm. Children who have ADHD have a harder time connecting their behaviors to your consequences. Firm and simple discipline will help them see how their behavior connects with your consequences. For example, if your child mismanages their time by playing video games and doesn’t do their homework, grounding them in video games gives them time to do their homework. Do this so your child can easily recognize that the discipline helps them rather than punishes them.
As a parent of a child with ADHD, it is important to remember that they are not intentionally creating these issues. Be kind and understanding when disciplining your child, especially because they may already have low self-esteem due to their ADHD symptoms.
9. Use Organization Tools
Children with ADHD often struggle with task completion, such as finishing their homework and house chores. Organization tools such as to-do lists, alarms, and designated work/play areas can be handy. Helping your child develop organizational tools and behavioral habits can make a big difference in the short and long term.
10. Coordinate With School
If you see your child struggling with their ADHD symptoms at home, they are likely struggling in school as well. Check-in with your child’s teachers and school administrators to see how your child is performing. If they are struggling, your child’s school is legally responsible for providing access to services. The school should work with you to form a 504 plan or an individualized education plan (IEP) to help your child keep up with their studies.
11. Manage Your Own Stress
The most effective way to teach your child how to manage the stress they may experience from their ADHD symptoms is by modeling healthy behavior yourself. Lead by example, and show your child what proper stress management looks like. If you lose your cool, see it as an opportunity to show your child how to emotionally regulate and calm back down.
What NOT to Do When Parenting a Child With ADHD
Just like some types of parenting can help your child with ADHD, some types of parenting could harm your child. You are the parent, and how you handle life’s difficulties will profoundly impact your child’s behavior and self-esteem.
Things NOT to do when parenting a child with ADHD include:
- Discipline inconsistently: Research shows that inconsistent discipline is a common thread in the homes of children who have ADHD.8 Disciplining consistently will set clear standards for your child, and help them feel regulated despite their ADHD symptoms.
- Allow anxiety to run your life: Living with ADHD can be overwhelming, and your child may struggle. Don’t allow their anxiety to take you over too. Instead, show them how to remain calm and confident even when life gets complicated.
- Forget that your child is a child: As you become involved with helping your child to manage their ADHD, don’t forget that your child is a child. Learning the tools you provide takes time, so be patient and let them know that you are proud as long as they are trying.
- Let their behavior get out of control: Early intervention will hugely benefit a child with ADHD as they age. Don’t wait too long to seek out professionals who specialize in ADHD. Asking for help does not make you a failure. It makes you a responsible parent setting your child up for success.
When to Seek Professional Help
Having a child with ADHD can be incredibly overwhelming, and it may be time to ask for help. If you are unsure where to start, begin by asking your child’s doctor or school counselor for advice. Your child’s doctor may choose to prescribe medication for ADHD. Or perhaps you would rather consider finding a therapist to help your family. Using our online therapist directory can simplify this process.
Treatment options to consider as a parent of a child with ADHD include:
- Behavioral parent training (BPT): BPT teaches parents how to use rules and consequences consistently to manage their child’s behaviors. BPT is for the parent of an ADHD child, rather than the child themselves.9
- Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): CBT for ADHD focuses on shifting the ADHD behaviors that are making a child struggle at school or home. CBT can help a child who has ADHD develop organization, time management, and focus tools.9
- Individual therapy: Parenting a child who has ADHD can be stressful! Individual therapy is a healthy place to process the difficulties of having a child with ADHD, and protect you from taking your stress out on your child.
- Structural family therapy: Research shows that families with healthier family dynamics have fewer ADHD diagnoses.2 Family Therapy may be a helpful space to discuss and improve the family dynamic, which can help a child’s ADHD symptoms.
- ADHD medication: ADHD medication can be beneficial for a child with ADHD. However, proper caution must be taken when prescribing medication to a child, and medication is never the first choice for younger children. Your child’s doctor may request an evaluation before they prescribe medication. If this is the case, requesting an assessment through your child’s school might be an option.
Final Thoughts
Being the parent of a child with ADHD requires strength, resilience, and creativity. Consistency and positivity are two key ingredients. How you parent your child with ADHD will impact their resilience and success, so educating yourself on ADHD parenting is an excellent first step. It is also important to remind yourself that parenting an ADHD child can be challenging, and you are trying your best.
How to Parent a Child With ADHD: 11 Tips From a Therapist Infographics
