How to Parent a Child With ADHD: 12 Tips From a Therapist

How ADHD Affects Children

ADHD can significantly impact a child’s self-esteem. Repeatedly getting in trouble for forgetting rules or failing to complete tasks may cause feelings of shame and guilt. Over time, these experiences can lead to a sense of helplessness and the belief that improvement isn’t possible.

There are two primary types of ADHD in children – inattentive ADHD and hyperactive-impulsive ADHD:

• Inattentive ADHD is characterized by difficulty concentrating and poor organizational skills.
• Hyperactive-impulsive ADHD is marked by trouble sitting still, listening, and waiting their turn.

Since ADHD symptoms often resemble common behaviors in neurotypical children, diagnosing it can be challenging. However, the key difference lies in the frequency and severity of these behaviors.

Common Signs of Inattentive ADHD¹

• Difficulty paying attention in school or during activities
• Trouble understanding and following verbal directions
• Getting sidetracked and struggling to complete tasks
• Difficulty organizing belongings
• Avoiding mentally demanding tasks like homework
• Frequently losing important items
• Being easily distracted
• Forgetfulness

Common Signs of Hyperactive-Impulsive ADHD¹

• Excessive fidgeting and squirming
• Inability to play quietly
• Talking excessively in conversations
• Interrupting others when speaking or answering questions
• Difficulty waiting their turn in lines or during games

12 Tips for How to Parent a Child With ADHD

The choices you make as a parent play a significant role in how your child manages their ADHD. Establishing a consistent home environment and advocating for their needs at school can help them succeed and boost their self-esteem. While you may experience challenges along the way, it’s important to remember that your child is also navigating difficulties—and you’re both working through this as a team.

Here are twelve tips for parenting a child with ADHD:

1. Encourage Physical Activity

Being physically active is an ideal way for your child to use up all their excess energy, helping them to sit and concentrate when necessary. Exercise also provides many other mental health benefits, like reducing anxiety and depression, which often co-occur with ADHD.

2. Reduce Screen Time

Studies show that screen time increases inattentiveness in children who have ADHD, and can also heighten emotional dysregulation.³ Replace your child’s screen time with activities that help their brain to focus, such as playing with legos, or board games.

3. Set & Stick To Bedtimes

Getting enough sleep will help improve your child’s mental health, and help them more effectively navigate their day. A recent study found that 55% of people with ADHD experience sleep disturbances.⁴ Based on this data, researchers suggest that symptoms of ADHD may significantly decrease just by getting more sleep.⁵ Additionally, if your child is well-rested, they will have the mental energy needed to combat inattention and hyperactivity.

4. Find Structured Tasks That Your Child Enjoys

Creating a structured environment can be very helpful in teaching your child to thrive despite their inattentive or hyperactive tendencies. The problem is that all children, both ADHD and neurotypical, fight back against structure. Focus on finding structured activities or tasks that can be fun for them. For example, research shows a connection between ADHD and video games in that video games can improve attention, working memory, and inhibition in children with ADHD.⁶ Provide your child with a structured amount of gaming time, which will simultaneously make them happy and help their ADHD symptoms.

5. Give Quality Attention

Giving your child quality attention can help you become more aware of how their ADHD impacts them and their needs. Additionally, focusing on your child, rather than allowing yourself to be pulled away when they need your attention, will model for them what healthy attentiveness looks like.

6. Give Lots Of Praise

Praise can give your child ammunition against the negative conclusions they have drawn about themselves due to their ADHD. If you notice your child doing something good, praise them for exactly why you appreciate what they are doing. This labeled praise reiterates to the child the reason for their success, and reinforces their behavior. A recent study noted that children with inattentive-type ADHD respond well to labeled praise because it helps them focus on what is appreciated.⁷

7. Develop Simple Routines

Simple routines are small, achievable tasks that your child repeats daily. A simple bedtime routine could include brushing teeth, and arranging clothes for the morning. A simple mealtime routine could involve putting playthings away and carrying their plate to the sink. Using simple routines can help your child focus, and complete the task at hand, which helps to build confidence in their capabilities.

8. Use Firm But Gentle Consequences

Consistent, simple, and firm discipline is essential when parenting a child with ADHD. Children with ADHD often struggle to link their actions to consequences, making clear and direct discipline critical. For example, if your child spends too much time playing video games and neglects their homework, limiting or temporarily grounding them from video games provides an opportunity to complete their work. The goal is to help your child understand that consequences are meant to guide and support them, not to serve as punishment.

As a parent of a child with ADHD, it is important to remember that they are not intentionally creating these issues. Be kind and understanding when disciplining your child, especially because they may already have low self-esteem due to their ADHD symptoms.

9. Use Organization Tools

Children with ADHD often struggle with task completion, such as finishing their homework and house chores. Organization tools such as to-do lists, alarms, and designated work/play areas can be handy. Helping your child develop organizational tools and behavioral habits can make a big difference in the short and long term.

10. Coordinate With School

If you see your child struggling with their ADHD symptoms at home, they are likely struggling in school as well. Check-in with your child’s teachers and school administrators to see how your child is performing. If they are struggling, your child’s school is legally responsible for providing access to services. The school should work with you to form a 504 plan or an individualized education plan (IEP) to help your child keep up with their studies.

11. Manage Your Own Stress

The most effective way to teach your child how to manage the stress they may experience from their ADHD symptoms is by modeling healthy behavior yourself. Lead by example, and show your child what proper stress management looks like. If you lose your cool, see it as an opportunity to show your child how to emotionally regulate and calm back down.

12. Parental Self-Care

Parenting a child with ADHD can be exhausting. Taking care of yourself emotionally and physically helps maintain patience and resilience. Self-care practices like meditation, support groups, or individual therapy offer healthy outlets for managing stress.

What NOT to Do When Parenting a Child With ADHD

Just like some types of parenting can help your child with ADHD, some types of parenting could harm your child. You are the parent, and how you handle life’s difficulties will profoundly impact your child’s behavior and self-esteem.

Things NOT to do when parenting a child with ADHD include:

• Discipline inconsistently: Research shows that inconsistent discipline is a common thread in the homes of children who have ADHD.⁸ Disciplining consistently will set clear standards for your child, and help them feel regulated despite their ADHD symptoms.
• Allow anxiety to run your life: Living with ADHD can be overwhelming, and your child may struggle. Don’t allow their anxiety to take you over, too. Instead, show them how to remain calm and confident even when life gets complicated.
• Forget that your child is a child: As you become involved with helping your child to manage their ADHD, don’t forget that your child is a child. Learning the tools you provide takes time, so be patient and let them know that you are proud as long as they are trying.
• Let their behavior get out of control: Early intervention will hugely benefit a child with ADHD as they age. Don’t wait too long to seek out professionals who specialize in ADHD. Asking for help does not make you a failure. It makes you a responsible parent setting your child up for success.

When to Seek Professional Help

Having a child with ADHD can be incredibly overwhelming, and it may be time to ask for help. If you are unsure where to start, begin by asking your child’s doctor or school counselor for advice. Your child’s doctor may choose to prescribe medication for ADHD. Or perhaps you would rather consider finding a therapist to help your family. Using an online therapist directory can simplify this process.

Treatment options to consider as a parent of a child with ADHD include:

• Behavioral parent training (BPT): BPT teaches parents how to use rules and consequences consistently to manage their child’s behaviors. BPT is for the parent of an ADHD child, rather than the child themselves.⁹
• Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): CBT for ADHD focuses on shifting the ADHD behaviors that are making a child struggle at school or home. CBT can help a child who has ADHD develop organization, time management, and focus tools.9
• Individual therapy: Parenting a child who has ADHD can be stressful! Individual therapy is a healthy place to process the difficulties of having a child with ADHD, and protect you from taking your stress out on your child.
• Structural family therapy: Research shows that families with healthier family dynamics have fewer ADHD diagnoses.⁸ Family Therapy may be a helpful space to discuss and improve the family dynamic, which can help a child’s ADHD symptoms.
• ADHD medication: ADHD medication can be beneficial for a child with ADHD. However, proper caution must be taken when prescribing medication to a child, and medication is never the first choice for younger children. Your child’s doctor may request an evaluation before they prescribe medication. If this is the case, requesting an assessment through your child’s school might be an option.

Parents don’t have to face the challenges of ADHD alone. Many communities have local support groups, ADHD-specific workshops, and educational programs for families. These resources provide tools, shared experiences, and expert guidance to help you navigate parenting challenges.