Why Do I Feel Dead Inside?

Signs of Feeling Dead Inside

Feeling dead inside may have grown over time. It also could feel as if it came out of nowhere. One common sign to be aware of is anhedonia, in which you feel no genuine pleasure from general activities.¹ A less common sign is depersonalization, in which you feel detached from yourself, almost as if you are an outsider watching yourself move through the motions of life.²

Signs you feel dead inside include:

• You question your purpose frequently and/or struggle with existential depression
• You have a constant feeling of apathy toward all of your accomplishments.
• You struggle to feel happy for others in your life for whom you care about
• You feel as if you are moving through the world like a robot
• You cannot cry even though you are feeling sad
• You feel alone, even when you are with those with whom your love
• You have a difficult time putting your emotions and feelings into words
• You feel stuck in life even though you have a lot going for you

Why Do I Feel Dead Inside?

Feeling dead insight can be triggered by difficult internal or external circumstances, often a mixture of both. For example, you may live and/or have been raised in a struggling community where resources were minimal and growth felt impossible. Alternatively, you may be experiencing an internal mental health condition.

Reasons you may feel dead inside include:

You Struggle With Depression

Depression can cause a person to feel dead inside due to the debilitating effects it has on your perception of yourself and the purpose of life. One key aspect of depression is hopelessness. Feeling hopeless is a risk factor for many mental health conditions, not solely depression. However, hopelessness, in conjunction with other depressive symptoms, can cause a severely negative outlook on life, which may prompt feeling dead on the inside.

You Are Dissociating

Dissociation is a complex phenomenon where a person feels completely disconnected from themselves to the extent that they cannot identify their thoughts, feelings, or emotions. Dissociation is a common symptom of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) due to the complex pain following a traumatic incident.³ This can cause a person to feel dead inside because of the lack of connectedness to self, which also leaves one feeling as if they are walking through a persistent fog that is their life.

You Survived Traumatic Experience(s)

Surviving trauma(s) often leads to PTSD, along with symptoms such as hypervigilance, anxiety, poor concentration, low frustration tolerance, dysregulated emotions, and somatic pains. One of the key aspects of trauma is experiencing the feeling of one’s power and control being ripped away. Surviving trauma can lead to feeling dead inside because one has experienced the worst of humanity.

You Struggle with Prolonged Grief

Incidences of immense loss put a person at a higher risk of experiencing traumatic grief and ultimately having a prolonged grief disorder. This type of grief is one that stays with you, at the same level of pain and intensity, for years on end. Feeling dead inside is a common phenomenon due to the complex nature of prolonged grief and the difficulties a person has with the ongoing pain and suffering of loss.

Types of loss that can result in prolonged grief include:

• The loss of a child
• The loss of a parent
• The loss of a sibling
• Being the sole survivor of an accident
• Being a survivor of a natural disaster

You Struggle with Borderline Personality Disorder

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a painfully chaotic disorder. A person struggling with BPD will experience fears of abandonment, a fractured sense of self, emotional dysregulation, and interpersonal difficulties that permeate all areas of their life. It is common for persons struggling with BPD to feel dead inside given the following: the symptoms they experience, the complexities of the disorder, and the stigma attached to this disorder, even amongst mental health practitioners in the field.

You Are Having Side Effects of Medications

Psychotropic medications, especially antidepressants, can cause emotional blunting and numbness.⁴ This lack of feeling can leave a person feeling dead inside. If you recently started a new medication or have been managing emotional blunting for some time, please consult your psychiatrist or prescriber to discuss your options. It is very important to discuss any and all side effects with your doctor. If the side effects are severe, such as suicidal ideations, seek support by calling 988 or going to your nearest emergency room.

You Are Suppressing Emotions

Emotional suppression can occur due to the line of work a person is in, such as doctors, police officers, and military personnel. It can be a response to stressful and/or traumatic life events. While emotional suppression may temporarily allow a person to cope with crises, a growing amount of evidence shows there are negative long-term effects.

Suppressing emotions can lead to disruptions in emotions, especially the experience of negative emotions and the potential for physiological complications due to the holding of tension.^{5, 6} A person prone to suppressing emotions may be more likely to experience a feeling that they are dead inside, especially if their job or life circumstance prompts this in them on a regular basis.

Is Feeling Dead Inside Normal?

Feeling dead inside can happen to anyone. However, this feeling generally has a basis in something, such as loss and/or mental health concerns. People experiencing BPD, depression, and trauma are prone to feelings of numbness, detachment, and dissociation. However, at least 50% of the general population have at least one dissociative experience, whether it be depersonalization or derealization, throughout their life.⁷

Is Feeling Dead Inside Concerning?

Feeling dead inside can come and go like any other feeling we have. If it is based on a loss or a particularly stressful situation, it will likely pass on its own. The feeling becomes concerning when it persists and/or is paired with suicidal ideation and other serious symptoms, such as dissociation. It is important to distinguish between feeling dead inside and wishing to be dead. Feeling dead inside is not one and the same as suicidal ideation.

If feeling dead inside does not pass, and you are experiencing other symptoms, have a mental health diagnosis, or started a new medication, seeking additional support from a health care provider, therapist, and/or psychiatrist is very important.

How To Cope With Feeling Dead Inside

Coping with feeling dead inside may look different for everyone. Unfortunately, there is no “quick” fix for certain feelings and emotions. Yet, behavioral changes, such as stopping alcohol use or increasing mindful movement, could provide some relatively quick relief. Long-term relief would often come through therapeutic interventions and, at times, medication for the underlying disorder.

Here are five  tips for how to cope with feeling dead inside:

1. Explore the Cause in Therapy

Psychotherapy is a supportive step in the healing process. Exploring the causes of feeling dead inside, like taking out the weeds from a garden. In order for you to fully understand yourself, you have to get to the root causes. Once the root is identified, you can start to pull the weeds and lay the foundation for new growth.

2. Consider Medication

Medication may cause someone to feel dead inside, but when medications are not the reason for these feelings, they can help to relieve these feelings. Medications such as antidepressants work to produce chemicals in our brain, called neurotransmitters, that we may be lacking. When our brain chemicals are more plentiful, our mood can greatly improve.

3. Utilize Grounding & Breathwork Techniques

Grounding techniques and breathwork support us in eliciting our parasympathetic nervous system. Our parasympathetic system is the calming side of our central nervous system. Grounding and breathwork skills provide self-soothing, which ultimately puts us into a place of homeostasis. When we are in a homeostatic state, our body and mind function more optimally.

Here is an example of a grounding technique to try, called the 5-4-3-2-1 method:

• What are 5 things you can see? Describe one in detail.
• What are 4 things you can touch? Describe one in detail.
• What are 3 things you can hear? Describe one in detail.
• What are 2 things you can smell? Describe one in detail.
• What is 1 thing you can taste? Describe in detail.

4. Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness is best explained as being present in our lives. There are many things in this world that distract us from cell phones to the internet; even our watches can bring our attention away from our lives. To begin a mindfulness practice, start with something you do daily, such as washing the dishes. Wash the dishes with little to no distraction. Allow yourself to pay attention to how the dishes feel in your hand, the temperature or the water, and the smell of the dish soap. There are also many mindfulness apps, such as Headspace, that make it easy to do a quick mindfulness check-in no matter where you are.

5. Minimize the Use of Drugs and Alcohol

Drugs and alcohol change perception. Therefore, it is not a far reach to say that drugs and alcohol potentially induce dissociation, which is a likely cause of feeling dead inside.⁸ When feelings such as these occur, it is best for one’s mental and emotional health to minimize and/or completely abstain from drugs and alcohol.

When to Seek Professional Support

Seeking professional support is a brave step when feeling dead inside. When these feelings occur in response to a set of circumstances, such as loss, there is a possibility that they will pass on their own. However, there is no guarantee of this, and it is best to seek support once you notice yourself feeling this way. If you have felt this way for some time and/or have pre-existing mental health concerns, starting a new medication and seeking support is the highly recommended next step.

Finding support in our digital age has become user-friendly and less intimidating. Online therapist directories or online therapy platforms are a good choice for finding a therapist specializing in certain types of symptoms, disorders, and therapies. As we discussed before, medication may also be an essential step in healing, and online psychiatrist options are available for medication management. It is always recommended to have both a therapist and psychiatrist simultaneously, at least for your first year or so in treatment.

In My Experience

Feeling dead inside is a phenomenon in response to trauma, depressive symptoms, prolonged grief, borderline symptoms, loss, dissociation, and suppression of emotions. I have worked with many people from all walks of life who experience very similar feelings with often similar and very different root causes. This is also a feeling that many people feel they cannot talk about due to fears of judgment and their feelings being taken out of context. This feeling is a red flag and should not be taken lightly. Overall, I do believe therapy is a necessary step when these feelings emerge.