Social awkwardness isn’t a mental health condition and there’s no diagnosis for it; rather it’s the sum of feelings you may have when in social settings. Not understanding social cues can be a reason for feeling socially awkward, however, it’s possible to understand these cues so you can feel more like you fit in.
What Does It Mean to Be Socially Awkward?
Being socially awkward is not a mental health issue itself, but it’s indicative of those who have trouble understanding societal social norms. Sometimes it presents as having difficulty with clear communication. Other times, it can present as acting out in a way that’s outside societal expectation. Essentially, it’s a sign of limited social skills that can leave everyone feeling uncomfortable.
Signs You’re Socially Awkward
Potential signs of social awkwardness include physical symptoms like hyperventilation and a fast heart beat as well as more internal indicators like loneliness and social anxiety.
Here are eleven signs that you’re socially awkward:
- Having social anxiety
- Finding social situations difficult to navigate
- Failure to meet others’ social expectations and social norms
- Feelings of loneliness
- Being less intuitive around social graces
- Crossing boundaries and unknowingly violating personal space
- Feeling stage fright when you have to talk to others
- Physical symptoms such as muscle aches
- Cold sweats and feeling flushed
- Fast heart beat
- Hyperventilation
Why Am I Socially Awkward?
Everyone experiences awkwardness and nervousness from time to time, and while it’s not a diagnosable mental health condition, it could be a sign of something else. Social awkwardness is common in those who have a diagnosis of autism, are introverts, or have social anxiety disorder.
Autism and social anxiety disorder have very similar symptomatology, but how they tie into social awkwardness is slightly different. Those with autism may feel out of place in social gatherings, but not anxious as they are not fully able to understand certain social cues.
Those with social anxiety disorder know and recognize social cues, so they will experience anxiety because of their fear of messing up in public. This can lead to a lot of embarrassment.
Is It Bad to Be Socially Awkward?
Social awkwardness isn’t necessarily always bad, especially if it doesn’t interfere with your daily life and functioning. That said, if you are dealing with social awkwardness and feeling bad because you’re constantly dealing with rejection or consistently isolated as a result, it may be helpful to seek professional help.
Potential benefits of being socially awkward include: 1,2,3
- More engaged with strangers
- Motivation to stay active
- Propels creativity to finding community online
How to Not Be Socially Awkward
It is possible to live a full and meaningful life while dealing with social awkwardness. It’s even possible to cope with and, in some cases, reduce social awkwardness. This may require practice in mindfulness, social situations, and even time spent with a therapist.
Here are tips on how to be less socially awkward:
- Practice social interactions: it can help to role play and practice conversations so you know how to communicate and navigate a social exchange
- Face it head on: don’t try to run or avoid it; rather, try to recognize it and take steps to prevent it or address it in the moment
- Stay present in social scenarios: try mindfulness tricks to help you stay grounded, present, and focused on what is happening around you
- Remember it happens to everyone: remember, you’re not alone and everyone feels awkward from time to time
- Allow yourself to feel embarrassment: dealing with embarrassment is part of the human experience, and learning to cope will give you strength and drive to address what you can
- Focus on yourself: emotions are fleeting, so try to stay focused on yourself and not others’ perceptions of you
- Bring along a friend: bringing a friend to social gatherings can help you comfortably practice and troubleshoot any issues you may be dealing with
- Talk to a therapist: talking to a therapist is another way to learn skills that may help you deal with underlying issues
How Therapy Can Help
Therapy is a great way to learn how to deal with social awkwardness, especially if you’re feeling anxious or depressed about your experiences. It teaches you how to cope in uncomfortable situations and uncover issues that may be contributing to the awkwardness in the first place, such as social anxiety.
If you’re ready to find a therapist, you can start by searching an online therapist directory. Reading reviews and looking at clinician bios to understand the scope of their practice can give you an idea of whether their experience suits your situation. Many therapists offer a free phone consultation to help you decide if they’re a good fit.
Final Thoughts
Being socially awkward can happen to anyone. Are we all a little bit awkward at one point or another? Yes! Fortunately, there are ways to overcome or better manage social awkwardness. It can help to learn more about why you feel this way in the first place and understand what’s going on around you during moments of discomfort. Talking with a therapist is a great first step to feeling better in social situations.
For Further Reading
Socially Awkward Infographics
