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Attachment Disorders in Adults: Types, Symptoms, & Treatments

Published: April 29, 2021 Updated: August 10, 2022
Published: 04/29/2021 Updated: 08/10/2022
Headshot of Nicole Arzt, LMFT
Written by:

Nicole Arzt

LMFT
Headshot of Lynn Byars, MD, MPH, FACP
Reviewed by:

Lynn Byars

MD, MPH, FACP
  • What Is Attachment Theory?Attachment
  • Types of Attachment Disorders in AdultsTypes
  • Is It Possible to Change My Attachment Style?Change
  • Attachment-Based Therapy for AdultsTherapy
  • How to Help a Partner With an Attachment DisorderHelp a Partner
  • Final Thoughts on Attachment Disorders in AdultsConclusion
  • Additional ResourcesResources
  • Infographics for Attachment Disorders in AdultsInfographics
Headshot of Nicole Arzt, LMFT
Written by:

Nicole Arzt

LMFT
Headshot of Lynn Byars, MD, MPH, FACP
Reviewed by:

Lynn Byars

MD, MPH, FACP

Adult attachment disorders refer to the various difficulties associated with reading emotions, showing affection, and trusting others. These disorders often start in childhood, and they can affect everything from someone’s self-esteem to relationship satisfaction. Treatment can help people become more aware of their attachment styles and learn how to communicate their needs with others properly.

If you think an attachment disorder has impacted you or your relationships, don’t feel like you have to face those issues alone. BetterHelp has over 20,000 licensed therapists who provide convenient and affordable online therapy. BetterHelp starts at $60 per week. Complete a brief questionnaire and get matched with the right therapist for you.

Choosing Therapy partners with leading mental health companies and is compensated for referrals by BetterHelp

Visit BetterHelp

What Is Attachment Theory?

Attachment theory refers to how we connect, trust, and otherwise attach to other people. This theory focuses on relationships, such as the dynamics between a child and a caregiver or two romantic partners. Within the therapeutic context, therapists may explore the attachment between the client and themselves.

There are four types of attachment styles:

  • Secure attachment: Generally positive emotional bonds with self and others
  • Anxious attachment: Desire for intimacy, anxious in relationships, feel like others are emotionally unavailable to them
  • Avoidant/dismissive attachment: Struggle with intimacy, feel uncomfortable with closeness, seek high levels of independence
  • Disorganized attachment: Intense, chaotic relationship patterns that typically consist of a combination of desiring closeness while subsequently pushing people away

These attachment styles emerge in childhood. They continue to impact the types of relationships people have throughout their lives.

Types of Attachment Disorders in Adults

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) lists two childhood attachment disorders. Like all mental illnesses, symptoms can ebb and flow over time. However, an adult who suspects having an attachment disorder must indicate having had symptoms first emerge between ages nine months to five. In some cases, children receive appropriate treatment. If not, the individual may suffer long-term self-esteem and relationship consequences persisting into adulthood.

Reactive Attachment Disorder in Adults

Reactive attachment disorder (RAD) is a rare condition that starts when a child does not maintain healthy attachments with caregivers. Those struggling with RAD find little to no comfort in other people. Subsequently, they rarely show positive emotion when socializing with their caregivers (instead, they may present as sad, irritable, or unhappy).

This lack of proper attachment often happens when the child doesn’t have their needs met consistently. Most research on RAD focuses on symptoms present in young children. The DSM-5 states that signs must be observed before five years old.1

Common symptoms of RAD include:

  • Rarely seeking or reacting to comfort when distressed
  • Lacking the ability or willingness to express positive emotions
  • Intense irritability, fear, or sadness towards caregivers (seen in young children)
  • A history of childhood neglect, abuse, or long-term separation from caregivers
  • Witnessing abuse happening to other people

Disinhibited Social Engagement Disorder in Adults

Disinhibited social engagement disorder (DSED) is a disorder that affects one’s ability to form meaningful, sustained relationships with others. Children with this condition do not show the normal fear associated with strangers. Instead, they tend to be overly friendly or preoccupied with gaining the stranger’s attention.2

DSED emerges in childhood and is often a response to lacking a consistent caregiver. Some children with this condition come from settings like orphanages or shelters and receive very little one-on-one attention.

Common symptoms of DSED include:

  • Overly reactive excitement when interacting with new people
  • Excessively friendly, chatty, and wanting to touch strangers (in ways that are outside of age-appropriate or cultural norms)
  • Lack of concern about being left alone with a stranger (and feeling safe leaving with them)
  • Little interest in checking in with caregivers during emotionally challenging times

If you think an attachment disorder has impacted you or your relationships, don’t feel like you have to face those issues alone. BetterHelp has over 20,000 licensed therapists who provide convenient and affordable online therapy. BetterHelp starts at $60 per week. Complete a brief questionnaire and get matched with the right therapist for you.

Choosing Therapy partners with leading mental health companies and is compensated for referrals by BetterHelp

Visit BetterHelp

Is It Possible to Change My Attachment Style?

Attachment styles are different from attachment disorders. According to attachment theory, most people fit within a particular attachment style. But attachment disorders are rare and often require clinical attention. To date, there is no formal diagnosis for attachment disorders in adults, and although attachment styles can be challenging to change, it’s possible to move towards more secure attachment.

Attachment-Based Therapy for Adults

Attachment-based therapists agree that it’s possible to become more aware of triggers that provoke withdrawal or anxiety. By understanding these triggers, you can learn how to change your responses. You can also learn how to resolve traumatic wounds that might be stunting your ability to attach securely to others.3

Attachment-based therapy helps clients express emotions, rebuild intimacy with others, and increase an overall sense of trust. This approach can be used in conjunction with other therapeutic models, such as cognitive behavioral therapy or psychodynamic therapy.

In general, therapy aims to provide a safe and trusting relationship between therapist and client. This kind of relationship can be invaluable for someone who struggles with attachment.

How to Help a Partner With an Attachment Disorder

As a loved one, you are not responsible for ‘fixing’ your partner’s disorder. That said, you can be a supportive, compassionate anchor as they work through their recovery. Practicing patience and empathy are vital for offering support.

It’s important to check in with your partner and maintain open communication to determine what is (or isn’t) working.

With that in mind, here are some tips for helping a partner with an attachment disorder:4

  • Commit to learning more about attachment styles and attachment disorders
  • Listen actively and openly when they express their feelings
  • Avoid harsh accusations or name-calling
  • Specifically ask your partner how you can best support them
  • Set healthy boundaries that honor your integrity and personal needs
  • Express routine gratitude for your relationship and your partner’s attributes
  • Engage in intimacy-building exercises
  • Consider seeking couple’s counseling

It’s also important to be aware of your part in the dynamic. Self-awareness allows you to recognize your behaviors and interpret how your partner might respond to them.5

For instance, certain patterns, such as withdrawing if you’re stressed or lashing out when you become angry, may trigger unhealthy dynamics. It can cause excess tension and strain. However, by focusing on how you can both grow as individuals, you might be able to achieve greater relational satisfaction.

Final Thoughts on Attachment Disorders in Adults

Attachment disorders can be challenging, but treatment can help. You can learn how to build meaningful, wholehearted relationships with others. It’s also possible to learn how to start trusting people again- even if you’ve always struggled with it. Therapy can make a profound difference in helping you take the first step in the right direction.

Additional Resources

Education is just the first step on our path to improved mental health and emotional wellness. To help our readers take the next step in their journey, Choosing Therapy has partnered with leaders in mental health and wellness. Choosing Therapy may be compensated for referrals by the companies mentioned below.

BetterHelp (Online Therapy) – BetterHelp has over 20,000 licensed therapists who provide convenient and affordable online therapy. BetterHelp starts at $60 per week. Complete a brief questionnaire and get matched with the right therapist for you. Get Started

Online-Therapy.com – Receive help from a mental health professional. The Online-Therapy.com standard plan includes a weekly 45 minute video session, unlimited text messaging between sessions, and self-guided activities like journaling. Recently, they added Yoga videos. Get Started

Brightside Health (Online Psychiatry) – If you’re struggling with mental illness, finding the right medication can make a difference. Brightside Health treatment plans start at $95 per month. Following a free online evaluation and receiving a prescription, you can get FDA approved medications delivered to your door. Free Assessment

Headspace (Meditation App) – Headspace is the leading mindfulness and meditation app with over 70 million members. Headspace offers guidance and exercises for all skill levels, including beginners. Free Trial

Choosing Therapy’s Directory – Find an experienced therapist who has your welling in mind. You can search for a therapist by specialty, availability, insurance, and affordability. Therapist profiles and introductory videos provide insight into the therapist’s personality so you find the right fit. Find a therapist today.

Choosing Therapy partners with leading mental health companies and is compensated for referrals by BetterHelp, Online-Therapy.com, Brightside, and Headspace

For Further Reading

  • Mental Health America
  • National Alliance on Mental Health
  • MentalHealth.gov
  • Reviews of the best teletherapy options out there

Infographics for Attachment Disorders in Adults

Attachment Disorders in Adults Attachment Disorders in Adults Defined Attachment Styles

Types of Attachment Disorders in Adults Attachment Styles Vs Attachment Disorders How Can Attachment-Based Therapy Help You

Tips for Helping Someone with an Attachment Disorder How Therapy Can Help with Attachment Disorders in Adults

5 sources

Choosing Therapy strives to provide our readers with mental health content that is accurate and actionable. We have high standards for what can be cited within our articles. Acceptable sources include government agencies, universities and colleges, scholarly journals, industry and professional associations, and other high-integrity sources of mental health journalism. Learn more by reviewing our full editorial policy.

  • Ellis EE, Yilanli M, Saadabadi A. Reactive Attachment Disorder. [Updated 2020 Nov 19]. In: StatPearls [Internet]. Treasure Island (FL): StatPearls Publishing; 2021 Jan. Retrieved from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK537155/

  • Attachment Disorders. (2014, November). American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry. Retrieved from: https://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/Attachment-Disorders-085.aspx.

  • Lawrence Robinson, Jeanne Segal, Ph.D., and Jaelline Jaffe, Ph.D.How Attachment Styles Affect Adult Relationships. (2021, February). HelpGuide. Retrieved from: https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/attachment-and-adult-relationships.htm.

  • Simpson, J. A., & Steven Rholes, W. (2017). Adult Attachment, Stress, and Romantic Relationships. Current opinion in psychology 13, 19–24. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.copsyc.2016.04.006

  • Eurich, Tasha. What Self-Awareness Really Is: And How To Cultivate It. (2018, January). Harvard Business Review. Retrieved from: https://hbr.org/2018/01/what-self-awareness-really-is-and-how-to-cultivate-it.

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Headshot of Nicole Arzt, LMFT
Written by:

Nicole Arzt

LMFT
Headshot of Lynn Byars, MD, MPH, FACP
Reviewed by:

Lynn Byars

MD, MPH, FACP
  • What Is Attachment Theory?Attachment
  • Types of Attachment Disorders in AdultsTypes
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  • Attachment-Based Therapy for AdultsTherapy
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  • Final Thoughts on Attachment Disorders in AdultsConclusion
  • Additional ResourcesResources
  • Infographics for Attachment Disorders in AdultsInfographics
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