50 Tips for Coping With Loneliness During the Holidays

Here are 50 helpful tips from mental health experts on how to cope with loneliness during the holidays:

1. Embrace Feeling Lonely

“It’s OK to feel lonely and to experience that emotion. Loneliness is just a feeling and you don’t have to push it away just because it might feel bad. All feelings give us important information. While feeling lonely might not be the greatest experience in the world, being present with it could help you gain more insight into what you are needing at that moment. What can you do to stay present with loneliness without going down an unhelpful rabbit hole? Journaling and writing out your thoughts and feelings is a great way to be present with your emotions, it can be a cathartic release, and it can help declutter your brain so you can think about how you want to take care of yourself.” – Angela Ficken, LICSW

2. Ignore Advertisements

“Sure, it would be great if our lives looked like a Hallmark card. Movies depict families eating merrily at Thanksgiving dinner, couples walking hand-in-hand under romantic snowfall, and children beaming at their new Christmas gifts. Unfortunately, this is not reality. Understand that holidays can be messy, uncomfortable, tense, and downright dreadful. If you feel underwhelmed or overwhelmed by your situation, know that it is OK. Let go of the expectation that the holidays will be a picture-perfect and enjoy them for what they are.” – Jennifer Teplin, LCSW, Founder and Clinical Director of Manhattan Wellness

3. Make a Plan Ahead of Time

“Making a plan of how to address the feelings of loneliness before the holidays can help to feel prepared to manage those difficult feelings throughout the season. This plan can include a list of people you know you can contact when feeling lonely, places you enjoy going to feel connected to others, or activities that tend to lift your mood. Keeping a list on the notes section of your phone for reference, or writing the list down and sticking it on your fridge can help serve as a reminder of what provides you comfort during the harder moments of the holiday season.” – Ivy Seraphin, LCSW, Psychotherapist at Cobb Psychotherapy

4. Phone a Friend

“Very few people like to ask others for support. Yet, many people understand what it’s like to feel lonely during the holidays. Talking with a friend and letting them into your experience can help. If you confide in them, you’ll have someone you can call, video conference, or be with who understands what you need.” – Jason Drake, Lead Clinician and Owner of Katy Teen & Family Counseling, PLLC

“Stay intentionally connected to your healthy community and challenge yourself to reach out. Also as a preemptive strike, be honest with your healthy community and let them know the struggles of loneliness during the holidays so they reach out as well.” – Anastasia Brokas, LMFT

5. Lower the Stakes

“The higher the expectations of something, the higher the stakes become. Managing expectations of yourself and those around you can be extremely helpful for times where we expect a lot. Holidays add a whole new level of stress to get along with others or be social with loved ones. Be reasonable with what to expect of yourself and accept your own limitations. It’s been a particularly difficult and taxing year (or two), so do what works best for you. If this holiday season isn’t exactly what you would want for yourself, that’s ok. You’re doing the best you can.” – Sarah Breen, LMSW at Cobb Psychotherapy

6. Be Around People

“This doesn’t mean you need to be with people, but simply being around others can ease our loneliness. Find a public space where you feel comfortable and maybe bring a book to read or a cup of coffee to enjoy. Head to a busy park and find a bench where you can sit to listen to the sounds of the people and nature around you. You may still feel lonely, but you may also feel less isolated.” – Kailey Hockridge, MA, EdM, LPCC

7. Be Prepared by “Coping Ahead”

“There is a skill some of my clients find helpful called the ‘cope ahead’ skill. The purpose of this skill is to allow us to think about how we can prepare to reduce stress ahead of time.

For example, you might think ‘The holidays are approaching and I can’t be with my family this year so I know I will feel lonely which will lead me to isolate myself isolate. I plan to have a puzzle ready to work on, prep some festive meals to cook, and call my cousin to check in with her.’

Once you have your plan, rehearse it in your mind until you feel more confident. The more you rehearse your plan, the better equipped you will be to cope!” – Stephanie Longtain, LCSW

8. Create a Holiday Season Bucket List

“Create a holiday season bucket list, adding items and events you want to participate in during the season, either near home or out of town and get after it! You want to make candles? Go sign up and make those candles! You want to do a tacky light tour? Sign up for one or develop your own tour! Want to go to a fancy restaurant for a good meal or yummy holiday-themed dessert? Treat yourself!” – Sarah F. O’Brien, LCSW, LCSW-C, CCATP, CTMH, Thrive & Shine Counseling

9. Set Up a Routine With “High Energy” & “Low Energy” Activities

“Explore what interests you and keeps you engaged and then set a routine for it, ideally before the holiday season so that you have some time to get used to doing it. This can look like taking up a craft you’ve been wanting to try out, coming up with a list of coffeeshops that seem interesting, playing a video game, making a list of recipes you want to try making, going out for walks after work, etc.

If you struggle with routine, try creating a menu of things you can do, and these can be divided into high and low energy activities. This way, when you’re feeling lonely and unmotivated, it will take you less energy to think of things to do. It is important that you decide what high and low energy means to you and that the activities genuinely feel interesting and not just something you feel like you ‘should’ include. Something people find helpful and reduces the stress of routine is stacking the activities, as in planning to do one after another after another without assigning specific time frames to each activity.” – Linh Trần MSW, LSWAIC, Always Room For You Therapy

10. Invite Friends & Family to Virtual Gatherings

“Schedule a time to virtually ‘meet up’ with loved ones via video calls. Platforms like Zoom, Skype, or FaceTime make it possible to see multiple people at once. You can even set a theme for your gathering, like an ‘Ugly Christmas Sweater’ party, or ‘Holiday Karaoke Night.’ Websites and apps such as Jackbox Games, Tabletopia, or Board Game Arena allow you to play board games virtually with friends or even strangers from around the world. Platforms like Kast or Teleparty (formerly Netflix Party) allow people to watch movies together in sync and chat during the viewing.” – Nilou Esmaeilpour, MSc, RCC, Lotus Therapy

11. Cultivate an Attitude of Gratitude

“Be grateful for the things you do have – you can’t focus on this and the things you feel like you’re lacking at the same time. Make a concerted effort to focus on the love, support and connections you do have. Focus on things you value in your life and things that you derive pleasure from.” – Dr. Holly Schiff, Psy.D., Licensed Clinical Psychologist

12. Keep It Simple This Holiday Season

“Reflect on your traditions and activities over the holiday season. If something isn’t working for you anymore, change it! If you do not have the emotional, mental, or physical capacity to do something over the holidays, give yourself permission to let that thing go. For example, if you aren’t up for sending holiday cards or baking your trademark cookies this year, that’s okay.” – Liz Kelly, LICSW

13. Help Yourself by Helping Others

“By helping others not feel as lonely during the holidays, you can placate your own loneliness as well. Help out at the local community center by distributing meals. Help the neighborhood kids decorate their place and practice gift-giving with them. Being around people who don’t have anyone else can give you a sense of belonging and help your local community enjoy the holidays together.” – Pareen Sehat, Registered Clinical Counselor at Well Beings Counselling

“Volunteer an hour or two at an animal shelter snuggling and playing with cats or dogs, teaching a craft or sharing a talent at a retirement or assisted living facility. Sometimes staying busy or doing something for others helps distance ourselves from our own loneliness.” – Stephanie Donofrio, LMFT

14. Make a List of Two or Three Things That Bring You Joy

“If joy feels like a high bar, find two to three things that help you feel emotionally neutral. This could mean going out into nature, engaging in a hobby, reading a book, or watching a favorite TV show guaranteed to make you laugh. The goal doesn’t have to be getting rid of loneliness; sometimes it can be enough to experience joy so we’re reminded that loneliness isn’t the only thing we are feeling—it can exist alongside other emotions, too.” – Kailey Hockridge, MA, EdM, LPCC

15. Create a Reverse Advent Calendar

“The essence of this concept is the act of giving or doing, rather than receiving. Picture this: instead of the traditional Advent calendar where you open a window to a treat every day, you set aside a box or basket at the start of the month and label it “Reverse Advent Calendar.” Each day leading up to Christmas, you place within this container a meaningful item or gesture aimed at someone else.

This could be a non-perishable food item for your local food bank, a heartfelt letter to a distant friend or relative, or even a commitment jotted down to spend some hours volunteering. Crafting something by hand, baking, or setting aside a small monetary amount for a favorite charity are also great additions. Essentially, it’s about a daily commitment to spread joy and warmth in any form, no matter how small.

By the end of the month, you’ll have a compilation of acts of kindness and generosity that you can then distribute or enact. If you’re comfortable, sharing snippets of your journey on social platforms or with close ones might inspire them to join you or at least understand and appreciate your efforts. This is more than just an act of giving; it’s a conscious daily routine to forge connections and counteract those feelings of isolation.

The beauty of this method is that it allows you to turn your focus outward. By nurturing others, you inadvertently nurture your own soul. It’s a gentle reminder that even in solitude, our actions can ripple out and touch others, creating threads of connection in unexpected ways.” – Dr. R.Y. Langham, PhD, Impulse Therapy

16. Give Yourself a Somatic Hug

“Start by crossing your dominant arm over your chest and placing your hand near your opposite armpit. Then, cross your other arm and place your hand on your opposite shoulder. This somatic hug creates a sense of containment and safety. I like it because I can do it at any time and for as long as I need!” – Sarah Rollins, LMSW, SEP, Embodied Wellness

17. Determine the Type of Loneliness You’re Experiencing

“Loneliness during the holidays can be a gift if we see it as a friend and not an enemy. Loneliness is calling us to pay attention to an inner need that we have not become conscious of up to this point. It is a very normal experience and is signaling us to pay attention to what it is that we are experiencing and what the loneliness is telling us. There are different kinds of loneliness: loneliness for friends, loneliness for knowing oneself and existential loneliness (we’re born into this world alone and we die alone—even with other people in our midst). We often place substitutes in place of going into our own loneliness to discover the gift that awaits us (yes, it’s a gift, even though it can be painful). Loneliness can offer us a pathway to inner Peace.” – Mark Bigley, LCSW

18. DIY Some Holiday Decorations for Your Home

“Create unique holiday decorations or crafts that reflect your style and interests. Engaging in creative projects can be both fulfilling and a way to enhance your living space for the season.” – Halcy Driskell, LPC, CAC-III, Sandstone Care

19. Create Rituals Honoring Those You Miss

“There has been quite a bit of loss over the last couple of years and this holiday season may be the first without the people that you love. Think of some ritual things that you enjoy doing and try to incorporate those into your days over the holidays. If you are unable to physically be with loved ones, are there ways you can connect? If that is not an option how can you feel more connected to yourself? Emphasizing your self worth and how you feed yourself can help to offset the loneliness that comes from feeling disconnected from the support of our community.” – Sonia Martin, LCSW

20. Plan a “Date” With Yourself

“Find something you want to do (baking cookies, going to a museum, trying a new restaurant, apple picking, etc.) and make a date with yourself out of it. Plan it, put it on your calendar, and commit to it! Having something to look forward to during the holidays and trying to keep busy can really help to keep our minds from wandering to a place of loneliness. So date yourself during the holidays and do those things you always talk about but never actually get around to!” – Kimberlin Shepard, LMSW

21. Make a List of People Who Have Positively Impacted You

“Be like Santa and make a list – not the naughty or nice kind, but the kind where you list all the people in your life past and present, who have made a positive impact. Then shoot them a message to say “thank you” and tell them what they meant to you or how they impacted you. Often when we feel lonely we forget about all those people who have made an impact on us and, even if they aren’t still a part of our daily life, we still benefit from having them there for even a short period of time.” – Dr. Charlynn Ruan, Ph.D., Thrive Psychology Group

22. Make New Traditions

“Reset your expectations and memories and make new traditions. It is easy to say but hard to do, but it’s worth trying. If you are on your own then try to find something you like to do- is it sport, is it cooking, is it sitting by the fire, reading books, but some good movies to watch. Keep yourself in action if this helps, or find quiet moments and make it comfortable and cozy.” – Katie Lasson, Clinical Sexologist & Relationship Advisor

23. Attend a Holiday Event Where You Live

“Whether it’s your own community’s parade or a big city lights show, attending a festive holiday event can be an uplifting and heartwarming way to combat loneliness. You can get lost in the sights and sounds of the season while feeling connected with other people around you. And if you don’t know anyone else going, it can be a great opportunity to reach out and make a few acquaintances. There’s no better way to get into the holiday spirit than attending an event that is full of joy and cheer.” – Haley Hicks, LCSW

24. Remember: Loneliness Is a Feeling, Not a Fact

“The brain sometimes tells us that no one cares. This isn’t true, but a lonely mind is a scared mind, and a scared mind often dreams up the worst case scenario. Loneliness is a feeling, not a fact.” – Deedee Cummings, Founder of Abi Behavioral Health

25. Start a Letter Writing Campaign

“Write heartfelt letters or cards to friends, family members, or even strangers in need of encouragement during the holidays. The act of expressing your thoughts and sending warm wishes can foster a sense of connection and purpose.” – Halcy Driskell, LPC, CAC-III, Sandstone Care

26. Talk to a Therapist

“One way to combat holiday loneliness is to seek out a therapist. A professional can help you identify unhealthy ways of thinking about the holiday season and behaviors you may be engaging in that do not help you cope or address your loneliness in a meaningful way.” – Kara Kushnir, Psychotherapist and Founder of A Work of Heart Counseling

“Sometimes, loneliness can be a sign of a deeper issue, such as depression, anxiety, or low self-esteem. If you feel that your loneliness is affecting your mental health, well-being, or functioning, you may benefit from seeking professional help. A therapist or counselor can help you understand the causes of your loneliness, provide you with coping strategies, and support you in making positive changes in your life.” – Dr. Ketan Parmar, MBBS, DPM, MD

27. Connect With Yourself in an Intentional & Mindful Way

“This could mean taking a trip or day trip to somewhere new, soaking in the adventure; working on a long standing project; catching up via phone or video with friends and family; or spending time with healing activities such as meditation, journaling, or spa experiences. Fill the time with activities that would bring you joy and calmness and which are outside of your usual routine. It could also look like volunteering with a restaurant or food shelter to connect with the community and others who are alone.

Practice mindfulness with whatever you choose to do—focus on the experience, the sensations, the visuals, audio, and your breath so that you’re not in your head and over-focusing on thoughts and emotions of loneliness all day. And turn off or delete social media temporarily! Seeing others’ curated holiday experiences can add to sadness; the reality is many feel loneliness even when with others and what you see on social media is not real life. And remember that the feeling of loneliness is temporary and can be shifted to a place of connection, even if physically alone.” – Nira Shah, LMHC

28. Try Mindfulness

“Be mindful of the ‘here and now.’ Focus on the present moment and connect with your inner experience (thoughts, emotions, sensations). By connecting with the present moment, you might be able to notice that thoughts are impermanent and feelings change from time to time.” – Gabriela Sadurní Rodríguez, Licensed Clinical Psychologist

29. Practice Self-Compassion

“One of the most helpful things we can do during difficult times is to treat ourselves with genuine kindness and caring. It doesn’t come natural to a lot of us but practicing self-compassion allows us to treat ourselves like we would treat our friends.

Self-compassion = mindfulness + kindness + common humanity

• Mindfulness: I notice I’m worrying about feeling lonely during the holidays.
• Kindness: This might be a difficult time so I want to treat myself with kindness.
• Common humanity: This is something I have in common with others who are alone during the holidays and I’m sure many other people are having this same experience. I am not alone.” – Stephanie Longtain, LCSW

30. Join a New Club

“To help with feelings of loneliness, try joining a club in something you enjoy doing. This could be a book club, knitting club or even something like a wine club. These things can bring you closer to people who have similar interests and many of these gatherings can happen over video calls which is still a great way to make friends or acquaintances.

You can make some lasting connections by joining a club and help to diminish the feeling that you are alone over the holidays. Having like minded people be a part of your life can also boost your mood and encourage you to keep doing the things you love!” – Alexander Burgemeester, Neuro-Psychologist and Owner of The Narcissistic Life

31. Go On a Solo Trip

“Take a trip to an area you’ve wanted to travel to, eat at Cracker Barrel or other restaurants that are open regardless of holidays as you travel your way back. Play your favorite music, listen to an inspiring or interesting podcast, hide kindness rocks at rest stops!” – Stephanie Donofrio, LMFT

32. Plan for More Connection in the New Year

“Use your loneliness as fuel to make plans for connection in the new year. These plans don’t have to be complicated or over-the-top. Even simple and occasional smalltalk with strangers has been shown to be an effective mood-enhancer!” Dr. Chandler Chang, Ph.D., Therapy Lab

33. Tap Into the Art of Storytelling

“Stories have a profound ability to connect people. They evoke emotions, stir memories, and often bridge gaps between individuals from different walks of life. When we dive into a story, whether it’s ours or someone else’s, we feel a sense of belonging to something bigger than ourselves.

Here are some ideas for using storytelling to combat holiday loneliness:

• Document Your Journey: Begin by penning down your own story. Write about memories, experiences, dreams, or even fictional tales. This process not only serves as a therapeutic exercise but also creates a tangible record of your journey.
• Join a Virtual Book or Writing Club: There are numerous online platforms where people discuss books, share their writings, or narrate personal anecdotes. Engaging in such communities can foster connections and reduce feelings of isolation.
• Start a ‘Story Exchange’: Initiate a unique holiday tradition. Encourage friends, family, or even acquaintances to exchange short stories. It could be about their most memorable holiday, a fictional festive tale, or just a random anecdote from their life. The process of sharing and receiving narratives can foster a sense of connection.
• Dive into Podcasts or Audiobooks: While this might seem like a passive activity, immersing oneself in gripping stories or personal narratives can instill a sense of companionship. There’s comfort in hearing another’s voice, their laughter, their musings, especially during solitary times.
• Engage in Local Storytelling Events: Many communities host storytelling nights or events, especially around the holiday season. Attend, or if you’re feeling brave, participate. It’s an excellent opportunity to connect with others and share a piece of yourself.

Sharing a part of ourselves or listening to another’s journey reminds us of our shared humanity. Especially during the holiday season, stories can evoke the warmth of yesteryears, the hope for tomorrow, and the realization that even in our solitude, we’re part of a vast tapestry of interconnected lives. As the holidays approach, and if the weight of loneliness starts to bear down, remember that every individual has a story to tell. And in these stories, you might find the companionship and comfort you seek.” – Ryan Sultán, MD

34. Practice Gratitude

“Gratitude is a remedy for many unpleasant thoughts and feelings. It helps us to create new neural pathways and feel more positive. As an exercise, replace each negative thought and feeling with five grateful ones.” – Carrie Krawiec, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist at Birmingham Maple Clinic

35. Join a Class or Group & Commit to Going Every Time

“Often showing up over and over, even when we don’t feel like it, is the key to making connections. So, sign up for an activity that requires you to engage with others, like a language class or hiking club, and keep going every week and make a point to talk to people over and over. Research has shown that the term ‘familiarity breeds contempt’ is completely false and, in fact, seeing someone over and over tends to make us feel more fondly about them over time. So, just show up.” – Dr. Charlynn Ruan, Ph.D., Thrive Psychology Group

36. Make Time to Reflect

“Many may be grieving a new loss this year, and the pandemic has shaken the way holidays are experienced. One way to address this is to make time for quiet moments of reflection, to give yourself permission to feel all of your feelings about that loss, and then move forward with your loved one’s memory by incorporating it into the holiday. For instance, if you lost your mother this year, perhaps this Christmas you can make the cookies you always made together, but with a close friend or another family member, listening to music she would have liked, and sharing the memories of your mom together.” – Kara Kushnir, Psychotherapist and Founder of A Work of Heart Counseling

37. Stay Off of Social Media

“Social media comparison is one of the most triggering thought holes you could fall into during the holiday season. Keep in mind that what you see on social media is only the ‘best and brightest’ version, it is not their total existence. While social media can help to keep people connected, it more often makes you compare your life to others. I recommended staying off of social media all together during the holiday season, especially if you are feeling lonely.” – Dr. Lea Lis, Psychiatrist and founder of the No Shame with Dr. Lea Mighty Network

38. Focus on Yourself

“Simple, every day self-care tasks are just as important as anything else. Make sure you take time to shower, eat, and rest properly. Self-care might also look like taking time off to engage in something you enjoy like reading a book, taking a walk, or doing a puzzle.” – Gabriela Sadurní Rodríguez, Licensed Clinical Psychologist

39. Embark on a Virtual Journey to Explore Another Culture

• “Choose a Destination: Select a country or culture that intrigues you. It could be a place you’ve always wanted to visit or a culture that fascinates you.
• Research and Immerse Yourself: Dive deep into your chosen culture by reading books, watching documentaries, and exploring online resources. Learn about their customs, traditions, and holiday celebrations.
• Culinary Adventure: Try cooking traditional dishes from the culture you’re exploring. Cooking can be a sensory experience that connects you with the culture’s flavors and aromas.
• Virtual Tours and Classes: Many websites and apps offer virtual tours of famous landmarks, museums, and historical sites. You can also find online classes or workshops that teach you about the art, music, or dance of your chosen culture.
• Connect with Locals: Join online forums or social media groups related to your chosen culture. Engage in conversations with people from that culture, ask questions, and share your own experiences.
• Host a Virtual Cultural Gathering: Invite friends or family to a virtual gathering where you share what you’ve learned about the culture you’re exploring. Encourage them to join in the experience by trying the food, music, or activities together.” – Marissa Moore, LPC, Mentalyc

40. Create a Sacred Space in Your Home for Mindfulness & Intention

“Decorate your home in a way that inspires memories of comfort, connection and love from your childhood. If your childhood wasn’t filled with comforting memories during the holidays perhaps you can imagine giving your inner child what you needed but didn’t receive. Create a sacred space in your home with images and objects that represent connection, comfort and whatever else has heart and meaning for you. Visit this sacred space each day, light a candle, offer love to your past self and set intentions for what you desire in the future.” – Gina Janc, LMFT

41. Connect With Online Groups or Support Groups

“Reach out to someone. Having moments to connect with others can do so much, and putting effort into doing this might also make you feel a low-key sense of accomplishment. It is important to build your support network, care about others, and feel cared about. If you feel like there is no one to reach out to, try joining a club, online group, or virtual support group.” – Gabriela Sadurní Rodríguez, Licensed Clinical Psychologist 

42. Do Something That Connects to Your Values

“The holidays are a time of year that honors *transition* as much as it does tradition. Holidays can serve as time stamps for what uniquely sets the year apart from others. Connecting with your values can realign what matters most to you with the natural trajectory of the year—helping you feel more fulfilled and connected. Is lifelong learning important to you? Check out a local exhibit or learn about a different holiday. Is service important to you? Volunteer at a local organization to connect with people (or animals) in need. Is adventure important to you? Sign up for an activity that makes you feel eagerly uncomfortable.” Jasmine Chandy, MSW, LCSW, Socialworkup Therapy

43. Find a New Hobby

“Free time can increase feelings of loneliness during the holidays. Plan to regularly engage in a hobby. If you don’t have one, it’s the perfect time to pick one up. Keep in mind, hobbies that involve other people can really ease loneliness during this time.” – Jason Drake, Lead Clinician and Owner of Katy Teen & Family Counseling, PLLC

44. Have a Solo Dance Party

“I love picking my favorite songs (especially from childhood!), blasting it on my speakers and dancing (and singing) like no one is watching. Spin around, jump up and down, belt it out! The nostalgia of my favorite songs of my childhood and shaking off the negative energy is the perfect combination to turn my day around.” – Sarah Rollins, LMSW, SEP, Embodied Wellness

45. Play Detective About Your Feelings

“Play detective! Were you feeling OK until you walked past an aggressively cheery holiday window of an impossibly perfect family? Think about whatever prompted your lonely feelings in a more holistic, less biased manner. For example, if it was an advertisement, recognize that the family or scene depicted is fictional and was created to sell things. Or, if the thing that prompted your loneliness was seeing a family pick out a christmas tree, recognize that you happened to witness one happy time for them, but their lives also contain moments of sadness and anger, just like yours.” – Julie Katzman, LMSW, Teen Therapist at Plan Your Recovery

46. Get Physical & Move Your Body

“Go for a walk, join a fitness class, get your hands messy learning pottery. Loneliness, like other feelings, can be held in our bodies. By doing something that releases tension or brings a sense of stillness, we can alleviate some of the physical symptoms of loneliness – low appetite, lack of interest, low energy, just to name a few.” – Kailey Hockridge, MA, EdM, LPCC

47. Schedule Time to Feel Your Loneliness

“Being lonely can take a lot of emotional energy, but that does not mean you need to let the loneliness consume you. It is OK to accept and embrace your feelings, and give them the time and attention they demand, as long as you also close the box when you’re done, and do not let the lonely feelings consume you. Scheduling time to feel lonely can be a healthy way to manage its mental health effects.” – Gina Marie Guarino, Licensed Mental Health Counselor at Psych Point

48. Try Practicing Cognitive Defusion

“This is a fancy term for looking at thoughts, feelings or sensations rather than from them. For example, instead of saying, ‘I feel lonely’ or ‘I am lonely,’ say, ‘I have the feeling that I feel lonely’ or ‘I am having the thought that I am lonely.’ Although it may feel like a minor shift, it can help you not feel so caught up in your experience.” – Sarah Rollins, LMSW, SEP, Embodied Wellness

49. Take an Existential Approach

“As a therapist, I have come to realize that there are lots of different approaches that we can take to reframe loneliness. One of the stances that I have come to appreciate is a more existential one. Being able to explore and connect with a different perspective on this initially scary experience – loneliness – can be an important tool to shift out of the uncomfortable feelings it can bring.

If you are able to think of yourself as being composed of different parts (e.g., the angry-protective part, the loving-connected part, the lonely part), then you are able to gently distance yourself from the part that feels lonely, and in turn be able to finally ’show up’ for this part with love and compassion.

This is the process of undoing aloneness. The pain that you experience when feeling lonely can be understood as the result of what has happened to you when you have been left alone in the painful circumstance. You are wired for connection and secure attachment; And so the process of ‘showing up’ for the part of yourself that feels lonely helps you to heal this pain – this loneliness. With this tool, founded in Internal Family Systems Therapy, you realize that you are never alone, and rather forever with yourself.” – Myriame Lyons, MA, RCC, CCC

50. Be Kind & Compassionate With Yourself

“One of the most important tips for dealing with loneliness during the holiday season is to be kind and compassionate to yourself. Loneliness is not a personal flaw or a weakness. It is a human emotion that everyone experiences at some point in their lives. You don’t have to feel ashamed or guilty for feeling lonely. Instead, you can treat yourself with kindness and compassion by acknowledging your feelings, validating your needs, and taking good care of yourself. You can also do things that make you happy and bring you joy, such as reading a book, listening to music, meditating, exercising, or pampering yourself. Being kind and compassionate to yourself can help you feel more comfortable and confident in your skin.” – Dr. Ketan Parmar, MBBS, DPM, MD

How to Find a Therapist to Help You Cope With Loneliness

To find the right therapist to help you find and implement strategies to combat loneliness and holiday depression, you could explore options from an online therapist directory, ask someone you know and trust if they have any recommendations, or seek a referral from a nearby doctor’s office. Therapist fees will vary, with session rates often between $50 and $150 without insurance. With insurance coverage, the out-of-pocket costs per session could be very low.