Self Destructive Behavior: Definition, Causes, & How to Stop

What Is Self-Destructive Behavior?

Self-destructive behavior is when you do something that can cause emotional/physical self-harm. These behaviors can come in many forms, such as binge drinking, becoming overly self-critical, and self-harm. There are many different types of self-destructive tendencies, and they can be repeating patterns of behavior or manifest independently. Sometimes there are conscious risk evaluations made before engaging in these behaviors. However, the risks/consequences are often unknown or unanticipated by the individual.¹

Here are 10 examples of self-destructive behavior:

1. Binge eating: Whether from impulses or as an unhealthy coping mechanism, binge eating can lead to both emotional damage and physical consequences. When this becomes a pattern, it can indicate a deeper issue, like binge eating disorder. Binge eating can lead to weight gain, physical illness, gastrointestinal distress, and chronic health conditions like diabetes and liver disease. Emotionally, binge eating can result in regret, guilt, and shame.
2. Self-sabotage: Self-sabotaging behavior is doing things that create problems or circumstances that interrupt your goals or progress, especially when those goals are within reach.² Often based on anxiety, fear, and/or self-doubt, these behaviors undermine the individual’s efforts to live the life they want. You often will not even realize what you’re doing, requiring someone else to point this behavior out to you.
3. Chronic procrastination: Procrastination is putting off tasks for later that would have a better result if done in the present. For about 20% of the population, procrastination is chronic and carries potentially problematic consequences.³ Chronic procrastination can negatively affect school, work, health, and relationships.
4. Overspending: Overspending is when you habitually spend more money than you bring in or can afford. “Financial hardship arising from over-indebtedness and poverty endangers the satisfaction of basic needs, leads to negative consequences for well-being and health.”⁴
5. Over Persistence: This is when you keep on a course of action despite evidence that it is not the best course of action or that it may be negatively impactful. This desire to push through is often due to the “sunk cost fallacy,” where you feel too invested in the course of action to back out and instead dig in further.⁵ The results can lead to emotional damage, exhaustion, lost time, and damaged relationships or careers.
6. Learned Helplessness: This is the perception that you are incapable of completing tasks or completing them well. It is rooted in self-esteem issues and self-doubt from past experiences or trauma, leading you to give up before even trying.⁶
7. Substance Abuse: The abuse of illegal drugs, misuse of prescription drugs, and overconsumption of alcohol will often negatively impact the person who engages in this behavior, as well as those around them. Often used as a coping mechanism, this behavior damages the person physically and neurologically, which can lead to poor emotional regulation.
8. Self Harm: Engaging in self-harming behaviors, such as cutting, is often a coping mechanism and a symptom of other disorders, such as depression or schizophrenia. People commit self-harm behaviors to cope with unbearable emotional pain or to punish themselves, reinforcing negative self-beliefs, which can cause permanent physical damage.
9. Risky Sexual Behavior: Risky sexual behavior such as unprotected sex, anonymous sex, and sex with multiple and high-risk partners can have devastating consequences. These include pregnancy, abortion, contracting an STI, and personal physical and emotional trauma.⁷ These can severely impact your life’s trajectory, and engaging in this behavior indiscriminately can lead to unpredictable negative impacts.
10. Neglecting Medical Care: Failing to seek medical care when necessary can result in severe permanent consequences and even death. Whether from fear, anxiety about medical procedures, distrust of medical professionals, or other reasons, it is vital to get care when needed.⁸ This behavior is most notable in older populations; however, it can occur at any age, especially with lower-income people struggling with insurance coverage.

What Causes Self-Destructive Behavior?

Chronic self-destructive behaviors tend to be seen more in people who don’t have a sense of internal control over their lives, environment, or outcomes.⁹ This is called an “external locus of control” and is common in mental health and behavioral health problems. People with severe psychotic symptoms, impulse control disorders, or severe depression may exhibit self-destructive tendencies more often or to a more severe level.^10,11,12

10 Tips to Stop Self-Destructive Behavior

To reduce self-destructive behavior, improving your decision-making processes is a valuable thing to focus on. Improving decision-making involves increasing the time you have to make decisions and avoiding impulse-based choices. Also, reducing overall stress levels and improving a sense of control over your life before taking action will likely lead to more “level-headed” decisions in your self-interest.

The following are 10 healthy alternatives to self-destructive behavior:

1. Exercise

Exercise can have a positive impact on mental health, reduce the severity of symptoms of depression and other mental health issues, and it’s generally good for your overall health.

2. Adopt Healthy Coping Mechanisms

Self-destructive behavior can become an unhealthy coping mechanism, and adopting healthier ways to cope to take their place can reduce the likelihood of engaging in further harmful activities. Trying things like journaling, yoga, or even organizing with task lists can be good places to start.

3. Get Some Sleep

There is a direct link between sleep problems worsening mental health symptoms and increased suicidal thoughts. Getting adequate and quality sleep is essential in preventing cognitive decline, leading to higher chances of developing mental illness. Talk to your doctor if you think you have sleep problems, as there may be deeper medical reasons behind problems with sleep.

4. Sleep on Big Decisions

When possible, try waiting 24 hours before making a big decision that significantly impacts your life, environment, or relationships. So much self-destructive behavior is impulsive, and making this a rule can help prevent making decisions you may regret later.

5. Set Spending Limits/Boundaries

If you tend to overspend or regret purchases, putting defined boundaries around spending can help. Try setting a daily spending limit, or maybe deciding that a purchase over a certain dollar amount has to wait 24 hours or be run by your partner. These things make it harder for impulsive spending to happen.

6. Practice Moderation

If you tend to overdo things, whether it’s overeating or overspending, intentionally practicing moderation can help. Try something like pre-portioning, setting spending limits, setting time limits on tv/streaming/gaming, and similar set-limit activities. The intention is to decide on how much to indulge before your start so that you can better align decisions with your own goals or values.

7. Set Goals & Write Them Down

Learn how to set goals using the SMART acronym; Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timely. Make sure that plans are small enough to attain, breaking down larger goals into smaller ones, and write these down. Writing them down will help make them tangible and help you stay accountable to yourself.

8. Adopt New Decision-Making Strategies

Honing your decision-making skills can go a long way toward deterring self-destructive behavior. Rational decision-making includes identifying the problem/situation, considering your options, weighing those against your values and potential adverse outcomes, and deciding to act.¹³ By following these steps or similar decision-making strategies, you can train your brain to approach decisions more rationally to avoid self-destructive choices in the long run.

9. Get a Primary Care Physician & See Them Regularly

Taking care of your physical health is essential to remaining healthy physically and mentally. Many physical health problems can impact your mental health and worsen symptoms of already present mental health struggles. One of the best ways to stay healthy is to get connected with a primary care physician and see them regularly for checkups (at least once a year if you’re relatively healthy).

10. Write a List of Why You Want to Change

A helpful reminder of why you want to stop your self-destructive behavior can be a positive factor toward change. Write down the personal reasons you want to change and post them somewhere you will see them daily, maybe on a bathroom mirror or your dashboard. Having this list will serve as a reminder and motivator to make the changes you want in your life.

How Therapy Can Help

Working with a therapist can help change self-destructive behavior patterns and address other items behind those behaviors. Working with a professional is especially beneficial if you are experiencing harm from your behaviors and if you suspect you have or are diagnosed with a mental health condition. If you’re looking for a therapist, one place to get connected with one is through an online therapist directory.

Final Thoughts

Self-destructive behaviors are challenging to overcome, but you can continually re-learn healthier habits. Try incorporating some of these tips into your daily life and see if they bring positive change. If you feel that you need more help, a therapist can provide other support outlets to help overcome self-destructive behaviors.