Texting Anxiety: What It Is & How to Deal With It

Signs of Texting Anxiety

To address texting anxiety, it’s crucial to recognize its signs. Symptoms often include overwhelming worry, panic, and a racing heartbeat when faced with texting. These symptoms can lead to behaviors such as avoiding their phone, delaying responses, or avoiding texting altogether.

Signs of texting anxiety may include:

• You never text first: Someone may choose to never text others first because they don’t know what to say, or they fear what the other person’s response would be.
• You avoid your phone after sending a text: A person may become so anxious about sending a text that they choose instead to ignore the response once it comes in.
• You turn off notifications for texts: An individual may feel overwhelmed when texts start coming in, so they turn off notifications.
• You avoid group text messages: A sign of texting anxiety can be avoiding group chats, even if a person is in one already.
• You delete messages: Some types of texts can make a person particularly anxious, especially if they involve conflict or deep conversations. They may not want to be able to revisit these texts later on.
• You use emojis in most or all of your messages: Someone may be afraid of how others will react to their texts, so they use emojis to keep conversations light-hearted.
• You continuously check your phone: A person may continuously check their phone after sending or waiting for a text message.

17 Tips for Dealing With Texting Anxiety

Dealing with texting anxiety is challenging, but there are some healthy coping skills you can adopt to help ease your worries. Limit the amount of time you spend on your phone, and learn how to recognize and prepare for triggering situations. Learning how to calm your anxiety is the first step toward reducing your symptoms.²

Here are seventeen tips for dealing with texting anxiety:

1. Avoid Serious Conversations Over Text

Avoid discussing serious or emotionally charged topics over text, as the lack of vocal tone and body language increases miscommunication. Addressing relationship conflicts in person helps minimize misunderstandings and reduces related anxiety.

2. Don’t Project Your Insecurities

Someone with texting anxiety may be projecting their insecurities on the recipient of their text. For instance, they may accuse the other person of using a negative tone because they’re scared of doing this themselves. Take a step back and inward before assuming anything.

3. Ask for Clarification

If you are nervous over a text message you or someone else has sent, ask for clarification. A lack of communication impacts relationships monumentally, especially when you make automatic assumptions based on little evidence. Asking for clarification also shows the other person that you want to avoid any misinterpretations. This will help reduce the potential of unnecessary arguments, as well as your anxiety.

4. Let Friends & Family Know How You Feel

Let your friends know how you feel about texting. By giving them a heads up, you offer them a chance to better understand if you respond anxiously or accusatory to a message. For those who are introverted or socially awkward, sharing this information can be tough. However, it helps keep communication open and honest while limiting the risk of frustration.

5. Take a Deep Breath Before Sending

If you notice your anxiety is beginning to mount when receiving or sending a text, take a moment and breathe. There are many different breathing exercises that can quickly reduce anxiety. After taking 3-5 minutes, your body will begin to relax, and you can return to sending or answering the message you received.

6. Put Your Phone Out of Reach

If you’re spending time with others, put your phone away.  At first, this may make you feel even more anxious, especially if you’re waiting for an important text to arrive. However, focusing on who you’re with and the present moment is important and can teach you to combat your triggers. You may even notice that you forget about your concerns about the text entirely!

8. Focus on One Text at a Time

If a text thread contains multiple different topics at once, try focusing on only one topic at a time. Once you’ve read and responded to that specific aspect, you can then move on to the next. This approach helps prevent feeling overwhelmed and ensures that each topic receives your full attention and thoughtful response.

9. Try a Phone Call Instead

When texting proves too overwhelming for you, ask the other person if a phone call works for them instead. You’ll be better able to hear their reactions and share your thoughts effectively without miscommunications. Even if this is something that needs to be scheduled, interacting over the phone rather than through texts can greatly ease your anxiety.

10. Proofread, Edit, & Use the Notes App

Afraid of what you are saying? Proofread and edit texts to reduce anxiety from typos or unclear wording. You can even write out your message in the notes app on your phone and read it over until you are comfortable with how it sounds. This will help you feel less overwhelmed when you really press the “send” button. Keep in mind that you should not become too obsessed with a text being “perfect” before sending it because this will only aggravate your texting anxiety in the long run.equire.

11. Remember That People Have Other Stuff Going On

Understanding and remembering that people have busy lives can alleviate testing anxiety when someone doesn’t respond right away. Someone could be working, spending time with their family, have a phone that isn’t charged, or simply just spending time off-screen. Recognizing this helps shift your focus away from personal worries towards a more realistic perspective

12. Use Emojis to Get Your Message Across

Miscommunication can happen when texting, but using emojis helps convey your tone and emotion, helping reduce misinterpretation. Using emojis can ease your anxiety by helping you feel that you have been able to get your point across more clearly and have more control over how your message may be perceived. Emojis can also help you express feelings that may be difficult to put into a text and can make a message more light-hearted, making the conversation feel more relaxed.

13. Avoid Asking for Reassurance

Constantly seeking reassurance through texts can actually increase anxiety because it makes you depend on others to feel okay. This behavior can also strain your relationships, as it puts pressure on others to constantly comfort you. Instead of seeking reassurance, try to build self-confidence and trust in your relationships. This approach will help reduce your texting anxiety and lead to healthier communication.

14. Silence Notifications & Limit Checking

Silencing notifications and setting specific times to check messages can significantly reduce texting anxiety. This approach prevents constant interruptions and the urge to feel like you need to respond immediately, allowing you to be more present and focus on other activities. It also helps break the habit of checking your phone compulsively, giving you more control over screen time and interactions and reducing stress.

15. Avoid Multiple Texts

Sending multiple texts when you’re anxious can overwhelm the person on the receiving end and increase your stress while you are waiting for their response. Instead, work on slowing down to compose one thoughtful message and wait for a reply. This approach is more respectful of the other person’s time and helps maintain a communication dynamic that is more balanced to help reduce texting anxiety.

16. Write, Then Wait Before Sending

Taking time to reflect on your message before sending it can help reduce texting anxiety. Pausing allows you to review your words, ensuring that what you have written conveys your message clearly. Writing it out and then waiting also gives you a chance to reflect and consider if the message is necessary to send or if your anxiety is driving the urge to text. Writing it down without sending is also a great way to outwardly process.

17. Don’t Feel Pressured to Reply Immediately

Removing the internal pressure to respond instantly can significantly reduce texting anxiety. Give yourself permission to take the time to think about your response or wait until you are in a better headspace (or even environment) to reply. This approach will help you maintain boundaries, reduce stress, and allow for more thoughtful and genuine texting interactions, where you can be thoroughly present and give the other person the attention and response they r

What Causes Texting Anxiety?

What makes someone anxious about texting can vary from person to person. Many times, texting anxiety stems from frustration, fear, and worry over the reactions of other people. This often affects teenagers and young adults who struggle with social anxiety or communication. Knowing the causes behind one’s texting anxiety can help one identify better ways to manage it.³

Possible causes of texting anxiety include:

• Lack of face-to-face contact: Without body language or facial cues, texts can easily be misinterpreted, heightening anxiety about message perception.
• Social anxiety disorder: For a person with social anxiety disorder, a common fear is that they are being negatively perceived by others. This can result in them hyperfixating on how to respond in a text thread.
• Peer pressure: A person dealing with peer pressure may feel that they have to respond or react to texts in a certain way. If they do not know what is expected of them, they may become anxious about not meeting their friends’ expectations.
• Low self-esteem: People with low self-esteem might worry their texts will be seen as annoying or uninteresting. Additionally, they may have a fear of rejection or negative responses.
• Perfectionistic tendencies: A perfectionist may feel obligated to respond to texts rapidly, accurately, and pleasingly. This can lead to procrastination and anxiety around hitting send.
• History of bullying: Someone who is being bullied or cyberbullied may fear that any incoming texts are from their bully. Every text notification could trigger a fear of receiving another bullying message, causing anxiety.
• Age: Young adults and teenagers who are still developing social skills might be more prone to texting anxiety, especially in romantic or unfamiliar situations.

When to Seek Professional Help

Coping skills help manage texting anxiety, but consider therapy if anxiety severely affects your life or communication. There are many options for anxiety therapy available, so finding the right therapist ensures that you receive the support best suited for you and your individual needs.

A local therapist directory is a great way to find a therapist who specializes in anxiety and takes your insurance. There are also many different online therapy services, such as Talkspace or BetterHelp, that can connect you with a therapist who specializes in anxiety. If you are a teenager struggling with texting anxiety, Teen Counseling is a therapy service that provides affordable therapists who specialize in the teenage population.