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  • What Are Grief Rituals?What Are Grief Rituals?
  • Purpose of RitualsPurpose of Rituals
  • 15 Ritual Ideas15 Ritual Ideas
  • Inviting OthersInviting Others
  • When to Get HelpWhen to Get Help
  • ConclusionConclusion
  • InfographicsInfographics
  • Additional ResourcesAdditional Resources
Grief Articles Grief Grief Therapy Types of Grief Best Online Therapy

Grief Rituals: Definition, Examples, & Ideas to Try

Adam Koenig, MA, RP, CCC, CT

Author: Adam Koenig, MA, RP, CCC, CT

Adam Koenig, MA, RP, CCC, CT

Adam Koenig MA, RP, CCC, CT

Adam supports clients with grief, life transitions, and anxiety, offering diverse therapeutic approaches for resilience.

See My Bio Editorial Policy
Rajy Abulhosn, MD

Medical Reviewer: Rajy Abulhosn, MD Licensed medical reviewer

Published: March 29, 2023
  • What Are Grief Rituals?What Are Grief Rituals?
  • Purpose of RitualsPurpose of Rituals
  • 15 Ritual Ideas15 Ritual Ideas
  • Inviting OthersInviting Others
  • When to Get HelpWhen to Get Help
  • ConclusionConclusion
  • InfographicsInfographics
  • Additional ResourcesAdditional Resources

A grief ritual is something a person can do after experiencing loss as a way to honor their deceased loved one, process their grief, and let go of some of the negative feelings related to the loss.1 Grief rituals vary, should be unique to the situation, and can be done individually or with others.2,3,4

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What Are Grief Rituals?

Grief rituals, also called mourning rituals, help people honor and remember the deceased, engage in self-transformation, and begin “letting go.”5,6 They might be formal, like a religious service, or informal, like talking out loud to the deceased.4 Rituals for letting go may involve a celebration of the bond with the deceased, which can bring positive emotions. Grief rituals that involve self-transformation help people reflect, identify negative feelings, and develop goals for the future. This can also help people process difficult emotions.1

Mourning rituals can be done at any time throughout the year, such as a loved one’s death anniversary or birthday.

Mourning rituals can also be done for all types of losses, including:

  • Death of a parent
  • Loss of a spouse
  • Death of a grandparent
  • Death of a child
  • Loss of a pet

The Stages of Grief

Despite the five stages and seven stages of grief model being a common framework for mourning loss, they are often misinterpreted.5 Grief is a unique experience for everyone and people have a wide variety of normal grief reactions outside of or in addition to denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These reactions also don’t have to occur in any specific order.5, 7

What Is the Purpose of Mourning Rituals?

Research shows that mourning rituals can help people adjust to the loss, develop an ongoing connection with the deceased, and feel a sense of control.2,6,10,11,12 Mourning rituals also serve as an act of remembrance and can help create a connection with one’s community and support system.4,13,14,15

Here are several benefits to practicing grief rituals:3,4,7,17

  • Promotes acceptance
  • Provides emotional comfort
  • Contains and/or expresses intense feelings
  • Continues an emotional bond with the person who died
  • Provides ways to connect with your social supports like friends and family
  • Provides a sense of order and control around your grief
  • Provides a way to develop meaning from the loss

Grief Therapy: How It Works, What It Costs, & What to Expect

Grief Therapy: How It Works, What It Costs, & What to Expect

Grief therapy can be helpful for anyone who is finding their grief is negatively impacting their ability to function in their day-to-day. It also provides a safe, non-judgmental place to explore, unpack, work through, better manage, and potentially find meaning in their grief. If you need help dealing with your loss, a mental health professional is an excellent resource to connect with to recover and heal from your loss.

Read more

15 Ideas For Grief Rituals

A grief ritual often involves a meaningful symbolic object. These objects can be physical, like a photo of the person who died, or nonphysical like music or prayers. Engaging in rituals of grief validates the loss while still helping the bereaved acknowledge that their relationship with the deceased can continue on symbolically.6

Here are 15 ideas for grief rituals:

1. Visit the Grave, Leave Flowers, or Create a “Rubbing” of the Cemetery Marker

Visiting the grave can honor your loved one and bring a sense of connection. Leaving flowers or other memorial gifts can be a way to remember something that they loved. A “rubbing” ritual involves placing a thin sheet of paper over the cemetery marker and using a crayon or chalk to rub the surface. Now you can bring the transferred image of the marker with you wherever you go.6,7

2. Share Photos of the Deceased & Talk About Them

It can be helpful to connect with your support network by sharing old photos and memories of the deceased. This allows you to reflect on the good times and start letting go of painful emotions.1

3. Wear a Clothing Item of Your Deceased Loved One

Wearing a special item like a piece of jewelry or a favorite shirt can serve as a linking object to a loved one and a way to continue the bond.4 It can also be used in a ritual of letting go where you dispose of the item in some way, releasing related negative emotions.

4. Create a Memory Box

Decorate something like a shoebox in honor of the deceased.21 Keep special items or photos in the box to revisit when desired. The ritual can help people learn to contain their emotions, experiencing them fully when looking at the items and putting them away when they’re done.

5. Perform Acts of Service in Their Honor

Think about the causes the deceased loved one supported or cared about. Consider making donations to charities or volunteering for those causes.22 These acts honor the deceased, carry on their legacy, and help you feel more connected to them.

6. Go to Their Favorite Place

Visiting a favorite place (e.g., city, beach, restaurant, park) you shared with your lost loved one can allow for a sense of connection and remembrance. It can also help you let go of negative emotions.22

7. Do Yearly Remembrance Activities/Celebrations

Annual rituals serve as time-honored traditions of reflection and remembrance.6 Consider doing something like buying your loved one’s favorite flowers every year or going out to dinner with all the people who loved them most.

8. Engage In Art in Their Memory

Creative expression through things like painting, writing, and cooking (just to name a few!) help people express and explore positive and negative feelings about their relationship with the deceased loved one.1

9. Write a Letter to Your Loved One

Writing a letter can help you feel more connected to your loved one. It offers you a chance to connect and pay tribute. Alternatively, consider writing down exactly how you feel and tossing it into a fire.4 It can also be a beautiful ritual of letting go.

10. Plant Something In Remembrance

Plant a tree or flowers to help bring your focus to the future while honoring the deceased. Perennials, for example, come back every year, giving you something to look forward to as a nod to your lost loved one.4,22

11. Use an Everyday Item of the Deceased

Using something like a loved one’s favorite mug for morning coffee can bring a sense of meaning, connection, and comfort, serving as a linking object between you and them.7

12. Create an Altar for Your Loved One

Creating altars to honor the memory of a deceased loved one has been a tradition since early civilizations. Many cultures and religions honor this practice. Think about what you want. It can be portable, or you could carve out a place in your home where you can have a permanent altar. Find a private space to put it that is not in full public view where you can mourn and reflect on your own terms.

Consider what you want to include in your altar. What reminds you of your loved one? It could be a photograph, a poem, something you got at a place you went together, or a memento your loved one gave you. Paint it or decorate it as you wish. You may want to add candles, incense, items from the outdoors like flowers, stones, or religious objects. Think of things that make you feel at peace and bring you comfort.

13. Light a Candle at a Certain Time of Day Everyday

Lighting a candle is a way to remember someone. This practice is done in many religions. It is a gesture that helps remember a loved one and offer them respect and love. Pick a time of day to light a candle and perhaps say a prayer or something meaningful about them. You can use this as a time to communicate with the person who has died if that feels comfortable for you.

14. Go to Their Favorite Spot in Nature

Spending time outdoors in beautiful places has restorative qualities. It lowers blood pressure, helps people to relax, and can lift your mood. People enjoy inhaling fresh air and reflecting on the beauty nature has to offer. Going to a favorite place in nature, perhaps a spot you visited with a deceased loved one, can offer moments of comfort and deep reflection.

15. Create Your Own Ritual

Thinking about the activities you enjoyed with your loved ones can help you feel more connected to them. Spend time brainstorming how you spent time with each other (e.g., going to the movies, listening to music, hiking); develop a mourning ritual around this activity.

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There are a number of factors to consider when trying to determine which online therapy platform is going to be the best fit for you. It’s important to be mindful of what each platform costs, the services they provide you with, their providers’ training and level of expertise, and several other important criteria.

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Consider Inviting Other Loved Ones to Participate With You

Creating activities you can do with others to help while grieving as a sympathy gift can be a powerful and moving experience for all who participate. Sharing your memories of the deceased and hearing others tell their memories and stories can help begin the healing process. It also helps the person mourning to feel less alone and supported by others who share good feelings about the person who has died.

Examples of group activities that you can do with others includes:

  • Releasing balloons
  • Planting flowers in a memory garden or planting a tree together
  • Doing group meditation or chanting
  • Reading poetry aloud with others
  • Sharing favorite stories about a loved one who has died
  • Having a group of loved ones volunteer together at a place that had meaning for the deceased, like cleaning up a playground
  • Unveiling a plaque or memorial stone honoring the loved one who has died

When to Seek Professional Help

Prolonged grief disorder (PDG) is when grief significantly impairs your life in various ways. If you’re still experiencing an intense sense of yearning/longing for your loved one and/or being overly preoccupied with memories of them daily for at least 12 months or more after their death (or at least 6 months or more for kids and adolescents), reach out to a professional.23

An experienced professional can help assess if other symptoms of PDG are present while helping you find ways to process your grief and re-engage in life. Grief counseling can also give you the tools to cope with your grief and a safe place to share without judgment.7

If you think your grief is prolonged, complicated, or delayed, it might be time to consider finding a therapist. One simple way to find a therapist is to use an online therapist directory, where you can search by specialty (like grief and loss) and insurance coverage.

Final Thoughts

Grief rituals can be a wonderful way to honor your loved one, share your thoughts and feelings, and develop a new type of connection with the deceased. The best rituals are meaningful to you, so take time to think of ways you can develop personal mourning rituals that help you work through your grief and re-engage in life.

Grief Rituals Infographics

What Are Grief Rituals Ideas for Grief Rituals Ideas for Grief Rituals (2)

When to Seek Professional Help

Additional Resources

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Best Online Therapy Services of 2025: Our Firsthand Experiences & Recommendations

Best Online Therapy Services

There are a number of factors to consider when trying to determine which online therapy platform is going to be the best fit for you. It’s important to be mindful of what each platform costs, the services they provide you with, their providers’ training and level of expertise, and several other important criteria.

Read more

Best Online Psychiatry Services

Best Online Psychiatry Services

Online psychiatry, sometimes called telepsychiatry, platforms offer medication management by phone, video, or secure messaging for a variety of mental health conditions. In some cases, online psychiatry may be more affordable than seeing an in-person provider. Mental health treatment has expanded to include many online psychiatry and therapy services. With so many choices, it can feel overwhelming to find the one that is right for you.

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Sources Update History

ChoosingTherapy.com strives to provide our readers with mental health content that is accurate and actionable. We have high standards for what can be cited within our articles. Acceptable sources include government agencies, universities and colleges, scholarly journals, industry and professional associations, and other high-integrity sources of mental health journalism. Learn more by reviewing our full editorial policy.

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  • Norton, M. I., & Gino, F. (2014). Rituals alleviate grieving for loved ones, lovers, and lotteries. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 143(1), 266-272. Retrieved from https://doi.org/10.1037/a0031772

  • Reeves, N. C. (2011). Death acceptance through ritual. Death Studies, 35(5), 408-419. Retrieved from https://doi.org/10.1080/07481187.2011.552056

  • Vale-Taylor, P. (2009). “We will remember them”: A mixed-method study to explore which post-funeral remembrance activities are most significant and important to bereaved people living with loss, and why those particular activities are chosen. Palliative Medicine, 23(6), 537-544. Retrieved from https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19304810/

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  • Packman, W., Carmack, B. J., & Ronen, R. (2012). Therapeutic implications of continuing bonds expressions following the death of a pet. OMEGA, 64(4), 335-356. Retrieved from https://doi.org/10.2190/OM.64.4.d

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We regularly update the articles on ChoosingTherapy.com to ensure we continue to reflect scientific consensus on the topics we cover, to incorporate new research into our articles, and to better answer our audience’s questions. When our content undergoes a significant revision, we summarize the changes that were made and the date on which they occurred. We also record the authors and medical reviewers who contributed to previous versions of the article. Read more about our editorial policies here.

March 29, 2023
Author: No Change
Reviewer: No Change
Primary Changes: Updated for readability and clarity. Reviewed and added relevant resources. Revised “15 Ideas For Grief Rituals”, added “Consider Inviting Other Loved Ones to Participate With You”. New material written by Iris Waichler, MSW, LCSW, and reviewed by Kristen Fuller, MD.
June 21, 2022
Author: Adam Koenig, MA, RP, CCC, CT
Reviewer: Rajy Abulhosn, MD
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