How to Be Happy Alone: 16 Tips From a Therapist

16 Tips on How to Be Happy Alone

Being alone and feeling lonely are two different experiences. It’s possible to be in a crowd or a relationship and still feel lonely, while true happiness comes from feeling fulfilled and content within yourself. Loneliness often arises when that inner satisfaction is lacking. The key to overcoming loneliness and finding joy in being alone lies in building self-worth and embracing independence.

Here are sixteen tips for being happy alone:

1. Date Yourself

Making time to ‘date’ yourself helps you discover what you do and don’t like–without needing to consider anyone else’s opinion about what to do and where to go. It’s like getting to know yourself better, and you might be surprised by how much you enjoy your own company. Whether it’s treating yourself to a nice dinner, going to a movie solo, or even just taking a walk in the park, these little moments help you realize that you don’t need to rely on others for happiness. You start to see that being alone doesn’t have to be lonely; it can actually be really fulfilling.

2. Create a Routine

Having a routine is particularly important for time alone so that you have stability and reliability. Creating routines takes time and fine-tuning to get a balance of the things you need, such as sleep, movement, mental stimulation, social time, and everyday tasks. It is also important to replace old routines that you used to have with a partner with new routines in order to move forward.

3. Prioritize Self-Care

Prioritizing self-care is an important aspect of learning to be happy alone because taking care of yourself is non-negotiable, regardless of your relationship status. This includes the essential foundations of self-care, such as getting good sleep, nutrition, movement, and hydration. It’s making sure your social, mental, and spiritual needs are being met. Self-care also includes living according to your core values for a good life – such as creativity, adventure, social justice causes, and engaging in things that delight you.¹

4. Speak Kindly to Yourself

Speaking kindly to yourself is crucial for feeling happy when you’re alone because the way you talk to yourself influences your overall mood and self-esteem. When you’re gentle and encouraging with yourself, you create a supportive atmosphere within your own mind. This helps you to feel more at peace and content when spending time alone.

Learning how to love yourself is essential, but certainly isn’t easy. Self-love comes from accepting yourself for who you are—including all of your faults. One way to practice this is by embracing self-compassion in your daily life. This means treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a close friend. When you make mistakes or face challenges, rather than being overly critical, try to acknowledge your feelings, forgive yourself, and focus on what you can learn from the experience.

5. Teach Yourself That You Can Be Okay When Lonely

Loneliness can be an uncomfortable feeling, and sometimes we magnify that discomfort until it feels unbearable. This can make us feel powerless in dealing with it, driving us to seek out any relationship—whether healthy or not—just to escape being alone. Instead, practice allowing yourself to sit with the discomfort of loneliness and remind yourself that those feelings are temporary and will eventually pass.

To approach this, it can be useful to gradually expose yourself to feelings of loneliness. You can do this by recognizing moments when you’re alone and focusing on the physical sensations that arise. By regularly facing these feelings and slowly extending the time you spend with them, you can train your brain and nervous system to understand that these sensations aren’t something to avoid.

6. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

To feel happy alone, it’s important to stop comparing your life to others. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that you should be in a relationship, married, or starting a family just because others around you are. Instead of focusing on what others have, shift your attention to your own progress and what makes you unique. Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small, and recognize that your worth isn’t defined by how you stack up against others.

7. Develop Multiple Hobbies

Maybe you’ve always been curious about knitting or have an interest in pottery—whatever the case, being alone gives you the perfect opportunity to explore these interests. Diving into new hobbies can ignite joy and creativity in your life, offering a sense of fulfillment and purpose. When you have multiple hobbies, you’ll always have something to look forward to, making it easier to fill up your day with activities that you enjoy. Consider trying something you’ve never done before; sign up for a local class, or start it on your own.

8. Stay Physically Active

Staying physically active can make a big difference in how happy you feel when you’re spending time alone. When you exercise, your body releases endorphins that help alleviate feelings of loneliness. Exercise also gives your day some structure and a sense of accomplishment, which is really important when you’re on your own.

9. Push Yourself to Be Adventurous

Trying new things can boost your mood, creativity, and self-confidence. Pushing yourself to do things alone can help to show you that you do not need to rely on others to have a fulfilling and satisfying life, which can ultimately lead to being able to feel happier alone. Not all experiences will feel positive, but continuing to put yourself out there is a skill to be developed like any other.

10. Learn to Live in the Moment

Learning to draw your attention to the current moment, otherwise known as practicing mindfulness, can decrease feelings of loneliness and anxiety. Mindfulness helps to notice things without judgment and bring awareness to yourself and how you show up with others and the world. This detached awareness can help you notice and respond to your own needs more effectively, as well as challenge whether or not you need to engage with anxious thoughts and feelings related to being alone.

11. Try Volunteering

Volunteering can be a powerful way to feel happier when you’re spending time alone. By giving back to your community or supporting a cause you care about, you not only help others but also experience a deep sense of fulfillment. Additionally, volunteering allows you to connect with new people and learn more about yourself, which can lead to personal growth and a stronger sense of identity.

12. Invest In Your Career

If there’s something you’d like to accomplish, make a plan and stick to it. Being alone actually comes with the added benefit of limited distractions or interruptions. This means you can focus on achieving your dream at your own pace. There are many ways to set and achieve healthy goals, but only you can follow through with these. One way to practice this is to sit down and write out what you want to see in the coming weeks, months, and years.

13. Journal to Find Clarity

When negative thoughts cloud your mind, it’s easy to start feeling down about yourself or your life. Journaling daily provides a healthy outlet to release these emotions and gain perspective. By writing down everything you’re experiencing—both the good and the bad—you give yourself the space to reflect and understand your feelings. This self-reflection can help you pinpoint what’s causing stress or unhappiness, allowing you to address these issues and clear your mind. There are many different journaling apps that make daily journaling easy.

14. Get Lost in a Book, Podcast, or TV Show

When you need a break from reality or a fresh dose of inspiration, immersing yourself in a good book, podcast, or TV show can be the perfect escape. If you’re feeling down or simply craving some mental stimulation, diving into a story or topic that interests you can provide comfort, spark creativity, and help you see life from a new perspective.

15. Practice Gratitude

Sometimes it helps to simply take a step back to look at what you’re thankful for. This could include loved ones in your life, physical possessions, or even parts of yourself! Practicing gratitude offers you the opportunity to find joy in the little things and fosters your ability to be happy alone.

16. Nurture Your Relationships

If you’re focusing on being happy alone after the end of a romantic relationship, staying connected to others becomes essential. Nurturing the relationships already present in your life—whether with family, friends, or coworkers—helps you maintain a sense of support and stability. Reaching out and investing time in these connections will keep you feeling grounded as you adjust to your new situation.

Worksheets for Increasing Self-Love

This collection of worksheets is designed to guide you in cultivating self-love by focusing on areas like self-care, gratitude, cognitive restructuring, and recognizing personal strengths. Find the one right for you or download them all here.

Complete Workbook Download

Self-Care Inventory Download

Cognitive Restructuring Download

Personal Strengths Inventory Download

Identifying Your Triggers Download

Practicing Gratitude Download

When to Seek Professional Support

While it’s natural to feel lonely or unhappy when alone from time to time, if you find that your loneliness is affecting your daily life, making it difficult to function or enjoy things you once loved, it may be time to reach out for help. A therapist can help you explore the underlying causes of your loneliness and unhappiness, offer coping strategies, and work with you to develop healthier thought patterns.

You can begin your search for a therapist on a local therapist directory, where you can filter professionals by location, specialty, and insurance coverage. Alternatively, online therapy services such as BetterHelp or Talkspace offer convenient options for connecting with licensed therapists from the comfort of your home. There are also helpful apps like Headspace and Calm that, while not a replacement for therapy, offer mindfulness and mental health tools that can complement your journey to well-being.²