8 Benefits of Being Alone & Spending Time With Yourself

Why You May Prefer Being Alone

Although many people choose to spend time alone or live alone, being alone can sometimes come with a negative stigma. This may come from our culture, which promotes the idea that the busier and more connected you are, the happier or stronger you must be.

Research suggests that we tend to have a more negative perception of people who we view as “lonely,” and this stigma may get in the way of our ability to enjoy our own alone time. However, being alone – spending time away from others – is not the same thing as being lonely – perceiving your contact with others to be less than you would like it to be.²

Below are some reasons why you may prefer being alone:

• You’re introverted: Introverts tend to feel more energized by spending time alone rather than with others. Introverts may prefer alone time because social gatherings can make them exhausted and drained. A night in with a book or going to a movie alone can be ways to recharge an introvert’s social battery.
• You’re working on yourself: There might be many reasons you are working on yourself, whether you are experiencing depression, social anxiety, negative self-talk, or low self-esteem. When you aren’t in a good place with yourself, it can make social interactions extra challenging. You might be taking some time to do therapy, journal, or read self-help books so you can feel more comfortable with yourself and with others.
• You’re avoiding toxic people: For someone who is working actively on separating themselves from toxic friends, spending time alone may be an act of self-care to preserve their energy and prevent emotional dysregulation. Someone who has gone through a toxic friendship may need some time to focus on themselves and heal before trying to forge new relationships that are more effective.
• You’re focused on your goals: For certain personal goals, you may find that you need more alone time in order to feel more motivated, creative, and productive. If you have a big exam coming up and your friends are all done with school, it may be more effective for you to spend some more time alone until you get through the exam so that you can stay on track.
• You’re going through a transition: When you’re attempting to go through a major life transition, like a potential career change, it may be beneficial to spend more time with yourself so you can focus on getting to know what you really want and need in the next phase of your life. Time spent researching, meditating, or just going on long walks may give you more opportunities to quiet your mind and listen to what is really important to you.

8 Benefits of Being Alone

Having quality social relationships is essential for mental health, but alone time is also important and beneficial. Everyone is different, and certain people, such as introverts or those working on themselves, may need more alone time than others.

The following are eight benefits of being alone:

1. Improved Sleep Quality

If you are always busy with other people, you may notice that it is difficult to wind down at night and fall asleep. Those moments right before you fall asleep can be uncomfortable if you are not used to being alone. Taking some time to yourself throughout your day—free of distractions, obligations, and screens—can help you practice being with your thoughts so that you feel more comfortable transitioning from wakefulness to sleep. Choosing to practice alone time can also help you feel more relaxed overall, able to have more restful sleep at night, and see firsthand the impact sleep has on mental health.

2. Increased Creativity

As anyone who has ever spent time alone can attest, having space from others can free up your mind to think of new ideas. If you are constantly in the presence of others, your mind is more likely to be engaged in being social than in being creative. Those who enjoy creative pursuits, like writing, painting, or music, may need to get some alone time (and even crave alone time) in order to create.

If you are not used to alone time, being alone with others may be a good way to start, such as writing at a library or in a café. Whether or not you are struggling with your mental health, creativity can benefit your mental health by providing an outlet for expressing a range of emotions.

3. Time to Focus on Setting Goals

Being alone gives us a chance to check in with where we are now and what we need to do to set and achieve healthy goals. We may even need to feel the dissatisfaction or sadness about where we are now in order to get the motivation to change something—and being around others constantly might distract from these informative feelings. Taking time to journal about how your life is in line with your values, plan your schedule, or even research resources related to your goals are all beneficial ways to spend alone time that will help us in the long term.

4. Increased Productivity

Scheduling alone time may be a helpful way to increase productivity because fewer distractions can make it much easier to get things done. If you are used to being with others, you might struggle to get things done when you are on your own. With practice, eventually, you won’t be dependent on others in order to be productive.

You may find that you need other tools to boost productivity, as well, such as making a list prioritizing what you need to do, breaking it down into smaller steps, and setting a timer to help you work for a certain amount of time.

5. Reduced Stress

Choosing to spend time alone can help us reduce stress by giving our minds a break from constant stimulation and activity. Even if we are around people with whom we are very comfortable, being with others involves certain expectations and social norms that require our attention. Having space from these rules and obligations can help us feel more relaxed.

6. More in Tune With Yourself & Others

Spending time alone can help strengthen a person’s relationships in the long run by expanding their differentiation of self, or their ability to maintain their sense of identity when they are with others. Alone time can also help increase one’s self-awareness, or ability to be in tune with one’s thoughts and feelings, which, in turn, can increase one’s ability for empathy, or being in turn with others’ thoughts and feelings.

7. Better Emotional Regulation

Alone time can help us regulate emotions by reducing positive and negative affective arousal.² When you are alone by choice, you are typically going to feel more neutral than when you are constantly in contact with others. Taking a break on purpose can make you feel more grounded and able to unplug from the emotions elicited in social situations.

8. More Time to Do What Makes You Happy

Choosing to spend time alone can offer some amazing opportunities to do what makes you happy without having to consider others’ preferences or opinions. Being mindful of how you get to eat, do, and see whatever you want when you are alone can help you relish a sense of freedom.

How to Be Happy Alone

Learning how to be happy alone may feel uncomfortable at first, but it is something that you can build mastery in with practice.

Below are tips for how to be happy alone:

• Try out a new hobby: Discovering something new, and giving yourself permission to explore it, can bring a sense of playfulness to your life and can be a great way to spend time by yourself.
• Reframe your thoughts: Rather than focusing on your negative judgments about being alone, try to think about some of the benefits you may be able to enjoy. Being mindful of how alone time can promote relaxation, reduce stress, and boost creativity will likely make your alone time more enjoyable.
• Find a balance: Rather than falling into extremes of being completely alone or completely surrounded by people, see if you can find more balance. Schedule one or two nights by yourself while dedicating other nights to spending time with friends.
• Remember, it is okay to be bored: We often have so many things scheduled that we may panic at the first sign of boredom. Remind yourself that it is okay to be bored. This experience is temporary, and we can get curious about how it feels rather than immediately trying to avoid it.
• Be alone with others: You might try being “alone with others” by studying at a library, writing at a coffee shop, or painting in a public garden. These are ways of being alone with yourself and still surrounded by people in your community.
• Take yourself on a date: Try setting up an amazing date for yourself, including the food, movie, and activities you want to do. Often we put so much effort into planning time with others- what would it be like to extend that effort and care to yourself?

When to Seek Professional Help

While feeling anxious around others may indicate the presence of a mental health condition, such as social anxiety disorder, struggling with spending time alone can also be a significant mental health challenge. If you find it difficult to be alone, or if you notice a significant decrease in your self-esteem when you are alone, it may be helpful to seek out support like therapy. If you are unsure of what kind of therapy you need, you can read about different approaches to see what seems like the best fit for you. Online therapy options may also be beneficial, especially if you are having a hard time carving out time for yourself.

In My Experience

In my experience, spending time alone time can be beneficial for everyone—and especially beneficial for those who resist it or fear it. Fear of being alone or being bored can significantly interfere with your quality of life because these things are inevitable. If you are afraid of being alone, you may act in ways that are not best for you, like staying in toxic relationships or over-scheduling yourself and always feeling tired. Instead, you can gain a sense of comfort and mastery with alone time if you start to practice it, which can benefit you now and in the long run. If it feels impossible at first, just remember that it is a practice; you can keep trying and slowly build up your ability to spend time with yourself.