How To Find a Good Therapist on BetterHelp: 9 Tips & Our Experience

9 Tips for Finding The Best BetterHelp Therapist for You

Finding the best BetterHelp therapist for you can be quite the task if you aren’t armed with a strategy for getting the most out of therapy. From our experiences using BetterHelp, we’ve learned that understanding your goals, learning about common therapy modalities, and sending introductory messages are some of the most important things you can do to enhance your experience. It’s also important to understand how  BetterHelp works, and how to get the best deal possible with BetterHelp’s financial aid program.

1. Think About Your Goals & Learn the Terminology

The first step for any therapy journey is to think deeply about what you’re hoping to get out of therapy. Write down a few goals that you have, and have a good understanding of what your life would look like once you have accomplished those goals. Don’t worry if you have a difficult time getting specific – your therapist can help you with actually executing your goals and fleshing them out in more detail. But, also be prepared to throw your goals out and start over. They serve as a starting point, but shouldn’t be a barrier later on if you need to change course.

If you’re new to therapy, you should also consider familiarizing yourself with common types of therapy. There are many types of mental health therapy. While you don’t need to be an expert, it helps to have an idea of the strategies commonly used in therapy so you can have a better idea of what you’re looking for in a therapist.

Some common types of therapy are:

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
• Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT)
• Interpersonal psychotherapy
• Psychodynamic therapy
• Mindfulness
• Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

2. Fill Out Your Intake Form Mindfully & Honestly

BetterHelp’s intake process is designed to help match you with a therapist who’s good for you, so filling it out accurately and honestly is very important. The intake form includes questions about your demographics, the issues you’re faced with, and some general preferences about your therapist. Don’t rush through these; take your time and mindfully consider what you’re looking for.

Some specific preferences that BetterHelp allows you to adjust:

• Male or female therapists
• Younger than 45 years or 45+
• Christian or non-religious
• Therapists in the LGBT+ community
• Therapists of color
• Therapists who speak Spanish
• Areas of experience including depression, stress and anxiety, trauma, and more

How Does BetterHelp Therapist Matching Work?

BetterHelp’s therapist-matching system works by considering your responses to the intake questionnaire and using them to match you with a therapist who meets your preferences and is experienced in the issues you’re dealing with. Aside from this, there aren’t any publicly available details about the inner workings of the matching process.

One of the problems with BetterHelp’s matching process – and with therapist directories in general – is that if a given therapist’s profile is inaccurate or not truly representative of the experience they have, then the algorithm can’t accurately find a match. The same goes for the client side of things. If you fudge details or don’t answer questions with total accuracy, then the matching system can only take you so far. While an automatic therapist matching tool like BetterHelp’s can be immensely helpful, it isn’t perfect; that’s why mindfully considering your responses and taking a deep look into therapist bios is so important.

3. Send Introductory Messages

One of the most powerful tools in your arsenal at BetterHelp is the messaging feature. To prep for your first session, you should send an introductory message to your therapist that outlines your goals and hopes for therapy, as well as your background and anything notable about your mental health history. When I used BetterHelp, I managed to avoid a couple of sessions with poor therapist fits by using this trick, saving me both time and therapy sessions.

Remember that BetterHelp includes unlimited messaging in your monthly cost. If you have concerns, bring them up to your therapist in the message thread ahead of time and you might be able to avoid wasting precious minutes of therapy session time.

A few things you should consider including in your introductory message to your new therapist:

• A personal introduction letting the therapist know who you are and the basics about your life
• Any major problems you’ve been dealing with lately that might come up in therapy
• Any specific preferences you have for your therapy journey
• A brief description of any prior therapy, what it was about, and what the outcome was
• Questions about the clinician’s background, the modalities they typically use, and what sorts of clients they typically work with

Example Introductory Message:

Hey, Dr. Example! My name is Client, and I’m very happy to be meeting with you soon. I live in Eastern Pennsylvania with my spouse and three kids. Lately, I’ve been dealing with some problems getting motivated at work, and I’d like to talk about strategies for overcoming this. In the past, I’ve worked with a therapist using CBT and that worked well for me, so I’d be open to revisiting it. I had a few questions for you before we get started at our first session. What modalities do you usually work with, and what sorts of problems do you help treat? How long have you been a therapist?

Thanks so much, and I’m looking forward to our first session!

4. Utilize Financial Aid

Cost can be a big factor for therapy, and it’s even harder to find a good therapist match if you’re stressed about what you’re spending on BetterHelp’s monthly cost. If you’re struggling to afford therapy, you can use BetterHelp’s financial assistance program to get 10% – 40% off your monthly price. You can sign-up for financial assistance during the sign-up process or at any point during your time with BetterHelp.

BetterHelp is a cash-pay-only platform. If you have mental health insurance benefits that can help you cut costs, BetterHelp isn’t the best option for you. Instead, take a look at our Talkspace review or our list of the best online therapy platforms that take insurance.

5. Hand-Pick Your Therapist

There’s a little-known method for hand-picking your therapist instead of relying on BetterHelp’s matching algorithm. As we explain in our full BetterHelp FAQ article, you can choose your therapist by navigating to the BetterHelp homepage, scrolling to the bottom, and clicking “Find a therapist.” After selecting your state, you can view a list of available therapists ahead of time. Instead of having the system match you, you can use this method to read through bios and hand-pick a therapist who seems like a good fit for you. If you want more options, you can refresh this page to see a new list, however, this list will no longer be accessible. So, if you’re considering a therapist or two, open their profiles in new tabs as you work, that way you won’t lose them.

6. Be Realistic About the Limitations of the First Session

In therapy, you rarely get much done in the first session. You’re not supposed to. Instead, the first session is meant to be an opportunity for you and your therapist to get to know each other and for your therapist to come to learn more about what you’ve been dealing with. While there are times when one session is all you need to know that a therapist is a poor fit for you, it’s often wise to give it 2-3 sessions before making that decision.

Some good first impressions from your initial session include:

• Your therapist seems genuine and compassionate
• You feel heard and validated
• Your therapist answered your questions fully
• You feel assured that the next session will yield some good progress

7. Listen to Your Gut

Sometimes a therapist is just a poor fit. It happens. Therapists are people, too, so not all of them will have an approach that suits your needs. If, at any time, you feel uncomfortable with your therapist, you dread your sessions, or you feel unheard, then they might not be a good fit for you. Your intuition and gut instinct will tell you a lot if you’re paying attention.

Some signs your therapist might not be a good fit for you include:

• You feel uncomfortable during sessions
• You feel unheard or like your therapist is invalidating your experiences
• You get the sense your therapist isn’t listening to you
• Therapy has hit a wall and there isn’t a clear path forward
• Any signs of judgment or belittlement by your therapist
• Your therapist is unprofessional or crosses boundaries

8. Don’t Be Afraid to Change Therapists

BetterHelp makes it extremely easy to change your therapist. With just a few clicks, you can easily change your preferences and select from a list of recommended therapist matches. Being able to quickly swap is one of the great benefits of using a therapy platform like BetterHelp. However, you need to avoid being too hasty in swapping therapists – it’s best to give it at least 2-3 sessions unless there is a very clear reason you want to switch.

How To Change Therapists on BetterHelp

To switch therapists on BetterHelp, simply follow these steps:

• Log in to your BetterHelp account on the mobile app or desktop web app
• Navigate to your BetterHelp account settings
• Locate the “My therapist” section of information
• Click the button to request a new therapist
• Select the preferences that you would like to be considered
• Read through a list of new potential therapists and select one

9. Be Patient

Remember that therapy takes time and a lot of active effort. Be gentle with yourself and set realistic expectations for therapy and be sure to exercise a lot of patience during the process. Most experts seem to agree that it takes 2-3 sessions to determine if a therapist is a good fit, and it takes even longer to start seeing major changes in your life.