How to Find a Good Therapist on BetterHelp: 9 Tips & Real Users’ Experiences

9 Tips for Finding the Best BetterHelp Therapist for You

From our experiences using BetterHelp, we’ve learned that understanding your goals, learning about common therapy modalities, and sending introductory messages are some of the most important things you can do to enhance your experience. It’s also important to understand how  BetterHelp works, and how to get the best deal possible with BetterHelp’s financial aid program.

1. Think About Your Goals & Learn the Terminology

The first step for any therapy journey is to think deeply about what you’re hoping to get out of therapy. Write down a few goals that you have, and have a good understanding of what your life would look like once you have accomplished those goals. Don’t worry if you have a difficult time getting specific—your therapist can help you with actually executing your goals and fleshing them out in more detail. However, you should also be prepared to throw your goals out and start over. They serve as a starting point, but shouldn’t be a barrier later on if you need to change course.

If you’re new to therapy, you might also consider familiarizing yourself with some of those most common types of therapy. While you don’t need to be an expert, it helps to have an idea of the strategies commonly used in therapy so you can have a better idea of what you’re looking for in a therapist.

Some common types of therapy are:

• Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)
• Dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT)
• Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT)
• Interpersonal psychotherapy
• Psychodynamic therapy

I once worked with a therapist who specialized in cognitive behavioral therapy. Initially, I appreciated their structured approach, but I soon realized I needed more emotional depth and personal insight. It was during a conversation about my experiences that I felt the gap; their responses lacked empathy, and I left feeling more unheard than understood. In contrast, when I found a therapist who resonated with my cultural background and understood my unique experiences, our discussions flowed effortlessly, allowing me to explore deeper issues.

Kristie Tse, LMHC, Uncover Mental Health Counseling¹

2. Fill Out Your Intake Form Mindfully & Honestly

BetterHelp’s intake process is designed to help match you with a therapist who’s good for you, so filling it out accurately and honestly is very important. The intake form includes questions about your demographic, the issues you’re faced with, and some general preferences about your therapist. Don’t rush through these; take your time and mindfully consider what you’re looking for.

Here are some of the specific preferences that BetterHelp allows you to adjust:

• Male or female therapists
• Younger than 45 years or 45+
• Christian or non-religious
• Therapists in the LGBTQIA+ community
• Therapists of color
• Therapists who speak Spanish
• Areas of experience including depression, stress and anxiety, trauma, and more

Start by reflecting on what you’re hoping to achieve. BetterHelp’s initial matching questionnaire asks about your preferences and needs so take your time. Be detailed and honest because this information helps the platform pair you with a therapist who lines up with your goals. If you have specific preferences, make sure to add them.

Dr. Carolina Estevez, Psy.D., Crestone Wellness²

How Does BetterHelp Therapist Matching Work?

BetterHelp’s therapist-matching system works by considering your responses to the intake questionnaire and using them to match you with a therapist who meets your preferences and is experienced in the issues you’re dealing with. Aside from this, there aren’t any publicly available details about the inner workings of the matching process.

One of the problems with BetterHelp’s matching process—and with therapist directories in general—is that if a given therapist’s profile is inaccurate or not truly representative of the experience they have, then the algorithm can’t accurately find a match. The same goes for the client side of things: If you fudge details or don’t answer questions with total accuracy, then the matching system can only take you so far.

While an automatic therapist matching tool like BetterHelp’s can be immensely useful, it isn’t perfect; that’s why mindfully considering your responses and taking a deep look into therapist bios is so important.

3. Send Introductory Messages

One of the most powerful tools in your arsenal at BetterHelp is the messaging feature. To prepare for your first session, you should send an introductory message to your therapist that outlines your goals and hopes for therapy, as well as your background and anything notable about your mental health history. When I used BetterHelp, I managed to avoid a couple of sessions with poor therapist fits by using this trick, saving me both time and the cost of wasted sessions.

Remember that BetterHelp includes unlimited messaging in your monthly cost. If you have concerns, bring them up to your therapist in the message thread ahead of time and you might be able to avoid wasting precious time during your actual therapy sessions.

Here are a few things you should consider including in your introductory message to your new therapist:

• A personal introduction letting the therapist know who you are and the basics about your life
• Any major problems you’ve been dealing with lately that might come up in therapy
• Any specific preferences you have for your therapy journey
• A brief description of any prior therapy, what it was about, and what the outcome was
• Questions about the clinician’s background, the modalities they typically use, and what sorts of clients they typically work with

“Example Introductory Message:

Hey, Dr. Example! My name is Client, and I’m very happy to be meeting with you soon. I live in Eastern Pennsylvania with my spouse and three kids. Lately, I’ve been dealing with some problems getting motivated at work, and I’d like to talk about strategies for overcoming this. In the past, I’ve worked with a therapist using CBT and that worked well for me, so I’d be open to revisiting it. I had a few questions for you before we get started at our first session. What modalities do you usually work with, and what sorts of problems do you help treat? How long have you been a therapist?

Thanks so much, and I’m looking forward to our first session!”

4. Utilize Financial Aid

Cost can be a big factor for therapy, and it’s even harder to find a good therapist match if you’re stressed about what you’re spending on BetterHelp’s monthly price tag. If you’re struggling to afford therapy, you can use BetterHelp’s financial assistance program to get 10%–40% off your monthly cost. You can apply for financial assistance during the sign-up process or at any point during your time with BetterHelp.

BetterHelp is a cash-pay only platform. If you have mental health insurance benefits that can help you cut costs, BetterHelp isn’t the best option for you. Instead, take a look at our Brightside Health review or our list of the best online therapy platforms that take insurance.

5. Hand-Pick Your Therapist Instead of Being Matched

There’s a little-known method for hand-picking your therapist instead of relying on BetterHelp’s matching algorithm. As we explain in our full BetterHelp FAQ article, you can choose your therapist by navigating to the BetterHelp homepage, scrolling to the bottom, and clicking “Find a therapist.” After selecting your state, you can view a list of available therapists ahead of time.

Instead of having the system match you, you can use this method to read through bios and hand-pick a therapist who seems like a good fit for you. If you want more options, you can refresh this page to see a new list. However, the first list will no longer be accessible—so, if you’re considering a therapist or two, open their profiles in new tabs as you work, that way you won’t lose them.

6. Be Realistic About the Limitations of the First Session

In therapy, you rarely get much done in the first session. You’re not supposed to. Instead, the first session is meant to be an opportunity for you and your therapist to get to know each other and for your therapist to come to learn more about what you’ve been dealing with. While there are times when one session is all you need to know that a therapist is a poor fit for you, it’s often wise to give it 2–3 sessions before making that decision.

Here are some green flags that your therapist is a good fit after a session or two:

• Your therapist seems genuine and compassionate
• Your therapist answered your questions fully
• You feel assured that the next session will yield some good progress
• You feel heard and validated

7. Listen to Your Gut

Sometimes a therapist is just a poor fit. It happens. Therapists are people, too, so not all of them will have an approach that suits your needs. If, at any time, you feel uncomfortable with your therapist, you dread your sessions, or you feel unheard, then they might not be a good fit for you. Your intuition and gut instinct will tell you a lot if you’re paying attention.

Here are some potential signs your therapist might not be a good fit for you:

• You feel uncomfortable during sessions
• You feel unheard or like your therapist is invalidating your experiences
• You get the sense your therapist isn’t listening to you
• Therapy has hit a wall and there isn’t a clear path forward
• Any signs of judgment or belittlement by your therapist
• Your therapist is unprofessional or crosses boundaries

People who find a good match on BetterHelp often take a determined approach to the search process. They might try out two to four therapists before finding someone they really feel like they can connect with. Those who are successful usually pay close attention to how they feel during and after sessions, make use of BetterHelp’s flexible switching options, and are honest with themselves about what they need from therapy. If after trying a few therapists they still don’t feel satisfied, some may choose to explore other platforms or in-person therapy options, depending on what feels most comfortable and effective for them.

Dr. Carolina Estevez, Psy.D., Crestone Wellness²

8. Don’t Be Afraid to Change Therapists

BetterHelp makes it extremely easy to switch your therapist. With just a few clicks, you can easily change your preferences and select from a list of recommended therapist matches. Being able to quickly swap is one of the great benefits of using a therapy platform like BetterHelp. However, you need to avoid being too hasty in swapping therapists—it’s best to give it at least 2–3 sessions unless there is a very clear reason you want to switch.

I found that I got a good sense of whether a therapist was right for me within the first couple of sessions. I think it’s important to trust your instincts. If you don’t feel comfortable or understood after two or three sessions, it’s perfectly fine to request a change. BetterHelp makes it easy to switch therapists, and I believe it’s crucial to keep trying until you find someone you connect with. In my case, I tried three therapists before I found the right match. Each time I switched, I was clearer about what didn’t work and what I needed, which helped narrow down the options.

Dr. Nick Bach, PsyD., CEO, Grace Psychological Services³

How To Change Therapists on BetterHelp

To switch therapists on BetterHelp, simply follow these steps:

• Log in to your BetterHelp account on the mobile app or desktop web app
• Navigate to your BetterHelp account settings
• Locate the “My therapist” section of information
• Click the button to request a new therapist
• Select the preferences that you would like to be considered
• Read through a list of new potential therapists and select one

9. Be Patient

Remember that therapy takes time and a lot of active effort. Be gentle with yourself, set realistic expectations for therapy, and be sure to exercise a lot of patience during the process. Most experts seem to agree that it takes at least a couple of sessions to determine if a therapist is a good fit, and it takes even longer to start seeing major changes in your life.