How to Stop Being a Narcissist: 19 Tips

What Is Narcissism?

Narcissism is characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, often paired with a lack of self-awareness and empathy for others. People with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) may struggle to maintain healthy personal and professional relationships because they often overlook or underestimate how their behavior affects others.

How to Not Be a Narcissist

Breaking free from narcissistic habits is about building a more grounded, self-aware, and compassionate self. Rather than depending on outside validation, focusing on internal growth can create a true sense of self-worth and help ease the need for control or constant admiration. When you work on building self-esteem through positive, affirming habits and learn to manage your reactions, you can start to see real changes—not only in how you feel about yourself but also in how you connect with others.

Here are nineteen tips on how to stop being a narcissist:

1. Remind Yourself of Your Worth

Remember that your worth is inherent—it doesn’t depend on being perfect. Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) often stems from a deep sense of shame, which can lead to unhealthy reactions, like lashing out, when feelings of inadequacy arise. In these moments, remind yourself that you don’t need to be flawless to have value. Your worth comes from who you are, not from living up to an impossible standard of perfection.

Remember to speak to yourself with kindness, offering grace on the hard days. If you continue with unhealthy habits, like bashing or shaming yourself for being vulnerable, your behavior will never change. Everyone is imperfect and deserving of unconditional love. Practicing self-love can help you heal internal emotional wounds and develop compassion toward the world around you.

2. Identify Your Triggers

Understanding what triggers your need to control or lash out is essential for managing narcissistic tendencies. Often, we may not recognize the early signs of narcissistic rage, but paying attention to your body’s signals can provide valuable insight. Notice what’s happening when you feel the urge to control or react strongly. Is there a pattern in your actions? Did a specific situation or something someone said set you off?

By identifying these triggers and considering the reasons behind your reactions, you gain awareness of how certain situations impact you. This self-reflection allows you to take proactive steps to manage your emotions, helping you respond in healthier ways and protect your relationships from unnecessary harm.

3. Accept That Others Are Not Perfect

Acknowledge that no one is perfect—not you, not your caregivers, not your friends, and not anyone around you. If you have narcissistic traits, you might feel a strong urge to control situations or people to meet certain standards. However, letting go of the need for everyone to meet these expectations can reduce stress and help you become more accepting of people as they truly are, with all their differences and imperfections.

4. Practice Stress Management

People with narcissistic tendencies often react to stress with anger or defensiveness, which can put a strain on relationships. Learning to manage stress in a healthy way allows you to develop coping skills that prevent negative outbursts, making it easier to communicate calmly and effectively.²

5. Try Meditation

Meditation can help you process emotions in a healthier way, allowing you to stay present and observe your thoughts and feelings without immediately reacting to them. While you can’t “fix” narcissism, meditation gives you space to reflect on your tendencies and develop greater self-awareness. Meditation doesn’t have to mean sitting in silence for long periods—it comes in many forms, so you can find a style that fits you best. Using a meditation app can be a great way to get started.

6. Allow Yourself to Feel Your Emotions

Allow yourself to experience emotions instead of trying to control every outcome. Our feelings, even the uncomfortable ones, provide us with information. If you ignore or push away emotions, they will manifest eventually, usually in an explosive and harmful way.

7. Pause Before Reacting

It may seem as if you go from 0-60 in a second. However, pause and take a deep breath before responding when triggered. Remove yourself from the situation until you are calm. Once this is mastered, you can wait even longer and allow the rational part of your brain to get back “online.” Responding from a place of shame will not benefit you in the long term.

8. Determine an Alternative Reaction

When things don’t go as planned, consider alternative responses to anger or frustration. Instead of reacting out of rage, could you respond with silence or grace? Determine how this may look and mentally replay that alternative. This can help set you up for success in future stressful situations or interactions.

Identifying Emotions Worksheet

By recognizing and labeling your feelings, you can better understand your emotions and develop healthier ways to cope.

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9. Pay Attention to Others’ Feelings

It’s natural to want attention, but when every situation ends up being about you, it can push people away. Take a moment to recognize that the emotions and opinions of those around you are just as important as your own. Try asking a friend or family member how they’re doing, and really listen when they respond. Giving your full attention can strengthen your connections and help you see things from a new perspective.

This isn’t always an easy habit to break, but working on it shows those around you that you’re making an effort to change. It’s a way of acknowledging that you don’t always need to be the center of attention, and that others’ experiences and feelings matter, too.

10. Learn to Listen

Being a good listener strengthens your connections with others and helps you build trust and empathy, which are essential for deep, supportive relationships.  When someone is talking to you, try to resist the urge to interrupt, offer advice too quickly, or shift the conversation back to yourself. Instead, give the person space to share their thoughts and feelings without interjecting. Active listening means being fully present—focusing on what they’re saying rather than planning your response.

11. Forgive Yourself

Self-forgiveness plays a crucial role in this process. Many people with narcissistic tendencies are harder on themselves than they realize, carrying a deep sense of inadequacy or past mistakes that they’ve never truly let go of. Learning to forgive yourself helps release some of this emotional weight and creates space for positive growth and connection with others.

Instead of being hard on yourself when things don’t go as planned, practice taking responsibility for your actions in a compassionate way. Remember that you’re human, and making mistakes is part of learning and growing. Allow yourself to feel understanding and kindness toward these missteps, recognizing them as opportunities for growth rather than reasons for self-criticism.

12. Start Apologizing

Apologizing is about owning your mistakes and allowing yourself to be vulnerable, which can be challenging if you’re used to responding with anger or defensiveness. But remember, everyone makes mistakes, and acknowledging them shows growth and respect for others. A genuine apology builds trust, nurtures healthy relationships, and brings authenticity into your connections. Taking responsibility for your actions may feel uncomfortable at first, but it’s a powerful step toward building stronger, more supportive relationships.

13. Begin Therapy

Therapy can be an incredibly helpful way to work through narcissistic tendencies, giving you a safe, supportive space to dig deeper into your thoughts and behaviors. A therapist can help you uncover underlying issues like insecurity, past trauma, or unmet emotional needs that may be fueling certain reactions. They’ll guide you in identifying and understanding the triggers that lead to defensive or controlling behaviors, so you can develop healthier ways to cope.³

Therapy also helps build empathy and emotional awareness, which can really improve your relationships. By learning to consider other people’s perspectives, you can start to see beyond your own needs and connect with others in a more balanced way. Over time, therapy can help you make meaningful changes, giving you tools to handle challenges with more patience, understanding, and a healthier sense of self.

14. Do Nice Things for Others

Offering support to others can feel just as rewarding as receiving it. Try lifting others up by doing something kind or thoughtful for them. This simple act shows that you genuinely care and are willing to step outside your own needs. Small gestures of kindness demonstrate that your relationships are a priority and that you’re willing to give, not just receive.

15. Assume the Best in People

Overcoming narcissism involves learning to see others in a more compassionate and trusting light. It’s easy to fall into the habit of negative assumptions, believing people are untrustworthy or have bad intentions. But these are often just assumptions, not reality. By practicing a shift in perspective, you open yourself up to seeing the good in others. Remind yourself that you may not know the full story behind someone’s actions, and they may not have meant any harm.

Free Practicing Gratitude Worksheet

When practiced consistently, gratitude can help you focus on the good in your life, build resilience, and improve your relationships.

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16. Explore a New Hobby

Developing a new hobby can be a great way to channel emotions and foster self-love, which is essential for overcoming narcissistic tendencies. Engaging in activities like painting, writing, music, or dance offers a productive and positive outlet, helping you express emotions in a healthy way. Instead of reacting to stress or anxiety with frustration or anger, try redirecting that energy into something creative. Not only does this give you a break from the cycle of control and defensiveness, but it also helps you build a sense of fulfillment and personal growth.⁴

17. Spend Time in Nature

Spend time in nature to reduce feelings of anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues that often contribute to narcissistic tendencies. The outdoors offers a space to connect with yourself in a peaceful setting, making it easier to access and reflect on feelings of happiness and joy. Nature is also easily accessible, so even a few minutes outside to ground yourself can positively impact your mood and help you feel more centered.

18. Start Journaling

Journaling can be a valuable tool for developing self-awareness and insight into your thoughts and feelings. Writing down what you think and feel—and where these feelings come from—can make it easier to recognize patterns that may drive narcissistic tendencies, such as the need for control or validation. Reading your thoughts aloud might feel vulnerable, but this practice can be eye-opening and help you see how certain thinking patterns affect your mood and behavior. If starting feels overwhelming, try writing just a few lines or pairing journaling with another habit to make it easier to stick with consistently. There are many different journaling apps that make it easy to get started.

Journaling for Mental Health

Journaling offers a safe space to express thoughts and feelings freely, without judgment. Use these journal prompts to kickstart your journaling journey for mental health. 

Download Free Journal Prompts

19. Take Things One Day at a Time

When you’re constantly focused on what might happen tomorrow or next week, anxiety and stress build up—especially if things don’t turn out the way you imagined. This need to control can lead to anger and frustration, further fueling narcissistic behaviors. By focusing on taking things one day at a time, you reduce the urge to control everything around you. Instead, you can put your energy into what’s within your control right now, helping you respond to life’s challenges with more patience and balance.

How to Find Professional Support

Finding the right support can make all the difference when addressing narcissistic tendencies and working toward personal growth. To begin, use an online therapist directory to find therapists with experience treating narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) or related issues, as they’ll have tools and insights tailored to your needs. Many online therapy services, like Online-Therapy.com, can match you with a therapist specializing in personality disorders. These platforms offer flexibility and access to professionals experienced in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which is effective for managing behaviors and thought patterns associated with narcissism.