Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is generally characterized by a grandiose sense of self and an unwillingness to express empathy. Many professionals consider NPD a spectrum disorder, meaning those with the same diagnosis often present quite differently. Under the NPD umbrella are several unofficial yet common subtypes, including grandiose, cerebral, and sexual narcissists, among others.
What Is Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)?
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is one of ten diagnosable personality disorders, and is defined by a grandiose self-image and lack of empathy.1 Because narcissists are unable to find their worth internally, they are hyper-focused on how they are seen, perceived, and treated by others.2
Narcissists rely on external attention and praise to feel special or important. They can collapse, become defensive, react negatively, and even behave destructively when they do not receive this external validation (also known as narcissistic supply).3 When this happens, their ego quickly deflates, and their personal insecurities and shame are exposed. This is referred to as a narcissistic injury, which often leads to defensive and aggressive reactions, or narcissistic rage. These defense mechanisms can get in the way of being able to form and maintain healthy, close relationships with others.
According to the DSM-5, someone with NPD must exhibit at least five of the following:
- Grandiosity: Grandiosity refers to a sense of specialness and self-importance that leads narcissists to boast about real or exaggerated accomplishments, and persistently feel and present themselves as superior.
- Entitlement: Entitlement in NPD involves a belief that one’s importance, superiority, or uniqueness should grant them special treatment, additional resources, or more attention than others.
- Lack of empathy: Narcissists are preoccupied with their own needs, resulting in overlooking others’. While narcissists are usually capable of feeling empathy, they are often unwilling to, as they don’t see the need or believe it will serve them.
- Preoccupation with fantasies of success: Reality does not often support a narcissist’s view of themselves (they have underlying low self-esteem and self-worth), so they prefer to think in exaggerated terms of what could be (e.g., gaining power or wealth).
- Excessive need for admiration: Because narcissists struggle to experience an internal sense of self-worth, they look to others’ feedback to build themselves up, often engaging in praise-seeking behaviors.
- Arrogant behaviors: Narcissists tend to compensate for underlying beliefs of inferiority by acting arrogantly. They often boast their accomplishments, exaggerate their successes, and put others down in order to lift themselves up.
- Sense of superiority: It’s not enough for a narcissist to simply be accomplished–they need to feel better than others to increase their sense of self-esteem and self-worth. This often presents as having contempt for people who make mistakes, or scorning those who refuse to acknowledge the narcissist’s perceived superiority.
- Exploitation of others: Narcissists often lie and deceive to get their own needs met. This may look like forcing others to take care of them before they care for themselves, failing to recognize when they have made unrealistic demands of others, or treating those who set boundaries or refuse to help them unkindly.
What Are the Different Types of Narcissists?
Because narcissism occurs on a spectrum, there are a variety of ways it may present and be exhibited. For example, two people diagnosed with NPD may have significantly different presentations. Whereas NPD is an official DSM-5 diagnosis, more specific types of narcissists, as outlined below, are non-official, colloquial ways of identifying common types of narcissists.
Here are nine common types of narcissists:
1. Grandiose Narcissists
Grandiose narcissists display patterns of superiority, pretentiousness, and a lack of consideration for others’ time. While these characteristics are common among many people who are diagnosed with NPD, they tend to be further exaggerated among grandiose narcissists, who may be more assertive, extroverted, and exploitative than those with standard NPD.
Because grandiose narcissists believe so strongly in their abilities and intelligence, they tend to display a strong distrust of experts and their superiors.4 Instead, they gravitate toward those who provide them with an abundance of admiration, which may feed into false or exaggerated beliefs about their own importance, purpose, abilities, or identity (also known as delusions of grandeur).
2. Sexual Narcissists
Sexual narcissists are people who prioritize their own sexual satisfaction and needs; lack empathy for their sexual partners; demonstrate an inflated sense of sexual esteem; expect frequent praise on their sexual performance; and feel entitled to sex when and where they want it.5, 6 While sex with a narcissist is initially romantic and passionate—in fact, this is often how they win their partners over—it often turns one-sided, transactional, and potentially even aggressive.
Despite seeming to value physical intimacy and presenting with an abundance of confidence in their sexual performance, sexual narcissists are often considered to have an intimacy disorder characterized by difficulty giving and receiving emotional closeness.
3. Vindictive Narcissists
Vindictive narcissists are hypersensitive to disagreements, boundaries being set, rejection, and perceived criticism. They take these experiences personally and are immensely hurt by them (although won’t admit to this). In turn, they may respond with attacks and terrorization toward the person they perceive as being responsible.
Vindictive behavior may include sabotaging someone’s career or reputation, responding to a person directly with narcissistic rage, blackmailing, or talking behind someone’s back to peers. Vindictive narcissists tend to be unmoving in their opinion of the person that hurt them, even if they have received an apology or found out that what they believed that person did never happened in the first place.
4. Malignant Narcissists
Malignant narcissism is a colloquial term used to describe those exhibiting symptoms of both NPD and antisocial personality disorder. Combined, these disorders often show up as arrogance, a need for power and recognition, a lack of empathy, a tendency to use or exploit others, and experiencing pleasure in the mistreatment of others. Malignant narcissists tend to report more impairments, difficulty with relationships, and worse responses to treatment than those with typical NPD.
5. Covert Narcissists
Covert narcissists, also known as vulnerable narcissists, tend to appear shy, reserved, modest, self-deprecating, and worried, despite experiencing immense emotional fragility, chronic envy, and difficulty with perceived criticism.7 Covert narcissists tend to constantly compare and judge themselves against others in terms of happiness, possessions, and relationships.7 Because of this, they often spend time alone and may experience higher levels of suicidality than others with NPD.
6. Somatic Narcissists
Somatic narcissists derive a sense of superiority, entitlement, and self-worth from their perception of their physical bodies. They use their figures and the physical space around them to express their narcissistic traits.
While somatic narcissists present with confidence in their beauty, strength, and fitness, they tend to obsess over their appearance and criticize the appearances of others, demonstrating an underlying insecurity and low self-esteem. Somatic narcissists may also achieve personal value and superiority from sex. However, sex is not necessary—as it is with sexual narcissists—in order for the somatic narcissist to build self-worth.
7. Cerebral Narcissists
Cerebral narcissists, also known as intellectual narcissists, are individuals who fulfill their narcissistic supply by being perceived as intelligent, well-read, and expert. These narcissists tend to be egocentric, use their intelligence against others, boast about their knowledge, excessively correct others, and downplay others’ intellectual abilities. While intellectual narcissists are generally smart, they often present as if they are more educated than they really are. This is done to mask underlying insecurities and lack of insight.
8. Spiritual Narcissists
Spiritual narcissists derive a sense of self-worth from both their own faith and their ability to control, manipulate, and influence others. This kind of narcissist uses their spirituality to hurt others by shaming, fear-mongering, or gaslighting. They will bring spirituality and faith into all conversations, judge others for their approach (or lack thereof) to spirituality, and use scripture to prove themselves right, ignoring instances in which it does not support their point of view.
While anyone can be a spiritual narcissist, they are most often people in positions of power, or those who have been through a major life transition and turned to spirituality to help them get through it.
9. Communal narcissists
Communal narcissists are those who possess grandiose, inflated perceptions of themselves within a communal environment.8 They believe they have extraordinary potential and capability, often thinking of themselves as the best listeners, helpers, socializers, and charitable people on the planet. In reality, they are fairly hypocritical, as most of their focus centers on meeting their own intrinsic needs.
How to Deal With a Narcissist
Dealing with a narcissist can be challenging and exhausting. However, with practice it can become more tolerable. Avoiding confrontation, setting boundaries, educating yourself, practicing self-care, and even ending the relationship entirely are all healthy ways of dealing with a narcissist. These actions are easiest when you are aware of and understand the limitations of a relationship with a narcissist.
Here are some ways to deal with a narcissist:
- Avoid confrontation: Narcissists tend to have intense and aggressive reactions to criticism. When possible, picking your battles and avoiding confrontation can help reduce your suffering. For example, if a narcissistic boss is putting down your intellectual ability, it may be more effective to respond with, “I’ll think about that,” instead of arguing with them and trying to prove yourself.
- Set boundaries: When setting boundaries around what types of behaviors are appropriate vs. those that are not appropriate, remember to be firm and clear. Name the unacceptable behavior clearly (“Do not speak about me behind my back”) and restate the assertion as many times as needed.
- Educate yourself: Learning about narcissism and its impact can help you understand your experience, find self-validation, feel empowered, and contextualize the narcissist’s behavior.
- Don’t take what they say personally: It may be tempting to internalize what a narcissist says, but this may lead to unhealthy self-critical patterns. Remind yourself that a narcissist’s opinions are simply judgments (and not necessarily facts).
- Seek out support: Involvement with a narcissist can be exhausting, isolating, and traumatic. Surrounding yourself with others who can validate your experience is an important way of getting the emotional support you might need. Just be mindful of what information you share about the narcissistic behavior to avoid further conflict.
- Avoid reinforcing narcissistic behavior: Be careful not to reinforce unwanted behaviors (such as grandiosity or praise-seeking). That is, avoid giving indication that those traits are likable by smiling or agreeing.
- Practice self-care: Narcissists may leave you feeling uncared for, unprioritized, and important. To combat these effects, consider practicing self-care–try journaling, exercising, or doing pleasant activities.
Can a Narcissist Change?
Many believe that because NPD is a personality disorder, a narcissist will never change. In reality, if a person with NPD is willing to begin therapy, they may be able to learn ways to better empathize with others and work on their narcissistic behaviors. Unfortunately, many narcissists won’t seek therapy, as their gaps in self-awareness don’t typically allow them to recognize areas for self-improvement. If a narcissist is resistant to therapy or believes their narcissistic behavior is justified, it is unlikely that they will change. However, many narcissists end up entering therapy for other symptoms, such as anxiety or depression, which then opens the door for narcissistic traits to eventually be treated.
Treatment Options for Managing Narcissism
Individual therapy is particularly helpful for narcissists and those interacting with them. This can be done through a number of techniques, including cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which helps people adjust their thinking patterns and make behavioral changes.
Couples counseling or family therapy can be helpful as well, but only if the narcissist is willing to participate and build insight into their disorder. You can start your search by using an online therapist directory, or by speaking with a primary care doctor or psychiatrist.
Final Thoughts
If you are struggling to deal with a narcissist or are experiencing narcissistic tendencies yourself, there is indeed hope. Consider starting by educating yourself on narcissism, as you just have, or by finding a therapist.
For Further Reading
Types of Narcissism Infographics
