• Mental Health
    • Anxiety
    • Depression
    • OCD
    • Bipolar Disorder
    • ADHD
    • Addiction
      • What is Addiction?
      • What Are Behavioral Addictions?
      • Addiction vs Dependence
      • Addiction Myths vs Facts
      • Addiction Statistics
      • How to Help a Friend
      • Find an Addiction Specialist
    • Eating Disorders
    • Personality Disorders
      • Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder
        • OCD vs. OCPD
    • Trauma
      • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
      • Childhood Trauma
    • Sexual Disorders
      • Anorgasmia
      • Female Sexual Arousal Disorder (FSAD)
      • Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD)
      • Premature Ejaculation (PE)
      • Delayed Ejaculation
    • Schizophrenia
  • Therapy Techniques
    • Online Therapy
      • Best Online Therapy
      • Online Therapy for Teens
      • Best LGBTQ Online Therapy
      • Best Online Therapy for Insurance
    • Psychotherapy
    • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
      • CBT for Anxiety
      • CBT for Social Anxiety
      • CBT for Panic Disorder
      • CBT for Insomnia
      • CBT Online
    • Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)
      • DBT for Teens
    • Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
    • Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)
      • EMDR for PTSD
      • EMDR for Anxiety
      • EMDR Online
    • Art Therapy
    • Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA)
    • Exposure and Response Prevention
    • Group Therapy
    • Hypnotherapy
    • Motivational Interviewing
    • Person Centered Therapy
    • Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy
    • Sex Therapy
  • Types of Therapists
    • Faith-Based & Christian Counselors
    • Life Coaching
    • Family Therapist
      • Child & Teen Counseling
    • Marriage & Couples Counselors
      • Premarital Counseling
    • Psychiatrist
      • Psychology vs. Psychiatry
    • Psychotherapist
    • Grief Counselors
    • Online Therapists
  • Starting Therapy FAQ
    • Does Therapy Work?
      • How to Find a Therapist
      • Helping a Friend or Loved One
    • How to Choose a Therapist
      • Finding a Black Therapist
      • Finding a Latinx Therapist
      • Finding an LGBTQ-Friendly Therapist
      • Finding a Therapist as a Young Adult
      • Finding an Online Therapist
    • Preparing for Your First Session
    • Types of Mental Health Professionals
    • Mental Health Insurance
      • HSAs for Therapy
      • Sliding Scale Therapy Fees
    • Mental Health in the Workplace
      • Asking for a Mental Health Day
      • Taking Time Off for Mental Health
    • Top Mental Health Organizations
      • Mental Health Resources Outside the U.S.
  • About Us
    • About Us
    • Editorial Policy
    • Advertising Policy
    • Privacy Policy
    • Contact Us
    • Write for Us
    • Join the Directory
    • Careers
  • Therapist Directory
    • Find a Therapist
    • Join the Directory
    • Directory Login
  • Mental Health
    • Anxiety
    • Depression
    • OCD
    • Bipolar Disorder
    • ADHD
    • Addiction
      • What is Addiction?
      • What Are Behavioral Addictions?
      • Addiction vs Dependence
      • Addiction Myths vs Facts
      • Addiction Statistics
      • How to Help a Friend
      • Find an Addiction Specialist
    • Eating Disorders
    • Personality Disorders
      • Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder
        • OCD vs. OCPD
    • Trauma
      • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
      • Childhood Trauma
    • Sexual Disorders
      • Anorgasmia
      • Female Sexual Arousal Disorder (FSAD)
      • Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD)
      • Premature Ejaculation (PE)
      • Delayed Ejaculation
    • Schizophrenia
  • Therapy Techniques
    • Online Therapy
      • Best Online Therapy
      • Online Therapy for Teens
      • Best LGBTQ Online Therapy
      • Best Online Therapy for Insurance
    • Psychotherapy
    • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
      • CBT for Anxiety
      • CBT for Social Anxiety
      • CBT for Panic Disorder
      • CBT for Insomnia
      • CBT Online
    • Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)
      • DBT for Teens
    • Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
    • Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)
      • EMDR for PTSD
      • EMDR for Anxiety
      • EMDR Online
    • Art Therapy
    • Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA)
    • Exposure and Response Prevention
    • Group Therapy
    • Hypnotherapy
    • Motivational Interviewing
    • Person Centered Therapy
    • Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy
    • Sex Therapy
  • Types of Therapists
    • Faith-Based & Christian Counselors
    • Life Coaching
    • Family Therapist
      • Child & Teen Counseling
    • Marriage & Couples Counselors
      • Premarital Counseling
    • Psychiatrist
      • Psychology vs. Psychiatry
    • Psychotherapist
    • Grief Counselors
    • Online Therapists
  • Starting Therapy FAQ
    • Does Therapy Work?
      • How to Find a Therapist
      • Helping a Friend or Loved One
    • How to Choose a Therapist
      • Finding a Black Therapist
      • Finding a Latinx Therapist
      • Finding an LGBTQ-Friendly Therapist
      • Finding a Therapist as a Young Adult
      • Finding an Online Therapist
    • Preparing for Your First Session
    • Types of Mental Health Professionals
    • Mental Health Insurance
      • HSAs for Therapy
      • Sliding Scale Therapy Fees
    • Mental Health in the Workplace
      • Asking for a Mental Health Day
      • Taking Time Off for Mental Health
    • Top Mental Health Organizations
      • Mental Health Resources Outside the U.S.
  • About Us
    • About Us
    • Editorial Policy
    • Advertising Policy
    • Privacy Policy
    • Contact Us
    • Write for Us
    • Join the Directory
    • Careers
  • Therapist Directory
    • Find a Therapist
    • Join the Directory
    • Directory Login
Skip to content

What Is Narcissistic Collapse?

Published: May 9, 2023
Published: 05/09/2023
Headshot of Nicole Arzt, LMFT
Written by:

Nicole Arzt

LMFT
Headshot of Dr. Kristen Fuller, MD
Reviewed by:

Kristen Fuller

MD
  • What Is Narcissistic Collapse?What Is Narcissistic Collapse?
  • What Causes Narcissistic Collapse?What Causes It?
  • Signs of Narcissistic CollapseSigns of Collapse
  • What to Expect From a Collapsed NarcissistWhat to Expect
  • How to Protect Yourself From a Collapsed NarcissistHow to Protect Yourself
  • When to Seek Professional HelpWhen to Seek Help
  • Final ThoughtsConclusion
  • Additional ResourcesResources
  • Narcissistic Collapse InfographicsInfographics
Headshot of Nicole Arzt, LMFT
Written by:

Nicole Arzt

LMFT
Headshot of Dr. Kristen Fuller, MD
Reviewed by:

Kristen Fuller

MD

Narcissistic collapse occurs when a narcissist’s ability to uphold their grandiose, confident image is threatened. As a result, they often become enraged, resulting in impulsivity, intense lashing out, or harm to others. While this reaction isn’t typically intentional, it’s a way for the narcissist to re-establish a sense of control.

Would you like help recovering from a relationship with a narcissist?

BetterHelp has over 20,000 licensed therapists who provide convenient and affordable online therapy. BetterHelp starts at $60 per week. Complete a brief questionnaire and get matched with the right therapist for you.

Choosing Therapy partners with leading mental health companies and is compensated for marketing by BetterHelp 

Visit BetterHelp

What Is Narcissistic Collapse?

A narcissistic collapse happens when a narcissist believes that someone (or something) is threatening their ability to maintain their superficial inflated ego. People with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) often look down on others to maintain the positive images they hold about themselves. If their behavior is called out or challenged, their fragile self-esteem is damaged, resulting in intense reactions and abuse toward others.1

Narcissistic collapse isn’t an official psychiatric term and hasn’t been extensively studied. However, some researchers and psychologists argue that collapse essentially disarms the false self associated with narcissism.2 Because narcissists are so insecure, they often feel empty and hollow–they need admiration from others to feel validated.3

For example, if a spouse leaves them or a boss fires them, it disrupts the narcissist’s entire status quo. Instead of reflecting on what happened or trying to address the conflict appropriately, they can become hysterical, volatile, or rageful toward themselves or those around them.

Overt Vs. Covert Narcissistic Collapse

Overt narcissists, or grandiose narcissists, tend to be extroverted and present with high self-esteem. They typically come across as overly confident and self-important. Conversely, covert narcissists, or vulnerable narcissists, are more insecure and will often avoid confrontation.

Covert narcissists will come across as passive-aggressive and use the silent treatment or sarcastic comments when they experience narcissistic collapse. They tend to be conniving, manipulative, and accusatory. An overt narcissist may explode in a narcissistic rage outburst and engage in a more outward expression of collapse.

What Causes Narcissistic Collapse?

Research suggests that people with NPD rely on narcissistic supply to ensure their needs are met and their superior image is upheld. This supply consists of any source of validation, attention, or admiration. When the supply is jeopardized, the narcissist can become unhinged.

Narcissistic collapse may be caused by a threat to a narcissist’s perception of themselves or others. These “threats” can stem from mild inconveniences to severe disturbances, making it hard to know exactly what can set the narcissist off. For instance, a friend taking too long to respond to a text or not receiving a promised raise at work can trigger the narcissist.

11 Signs of Narcissistic Collapse

Not every narcissist will experience narcissistic collapse or cope with a damaged ego the same. However, when a collapse does occur, it can seemingly come at a moment’s notice and even a slight infraction may trigger it. Therefore, it’s important to recognize the early signs of narcissistic collapse so you can approach the situation appropriately.

Below are 11 signs of narcissistic collapse:

1. Impulsive Behaviors

Impulsivity is a trademark characteristic of narcissism.4 When a narcissist’s overinflated confidence is injured, they may ignore advice and make impulsive decisions to show they are always right. Impulsive behaviors, such as unprotected sex, gambling, or excessive spending, help them counteract challenges to their ego.

2. Depression

Depression and narcissism often go hand-in-hand. Narcissists frequently have trouble regulating their emotions, which can cause depressive episodes when they cannot cope with a challenge to their self-worth. The narcissist’s access to supply dwindles during a narcissistic collapse, contributing to these low moods.

3. Gaslighting

Narcissistic gaslighting is a narcissistic manipulation tactic used to distort a person’s reality or memory. A narcissist may gaslight others when they feel threatened to divert attention from their shortcomings. When a narcissistic collapse occurs, they use this tactic to hurt the person questioning them.

4. Mental Breakdowns

A narcissist may have a breakdown if their supply is cut off and they feel vulnerable, embarrassed, or out of control. Narcissistic breakdown symptoms can include rage, impulsive behaviors, or other ways of showcasing intense mental suffering. A narcissist will lash out at you in any way they can or hurt themselves to cope with the shame.

5. Anger Outbursts & Rage

Rage outbursts are commonly seen during a narcissistic collapse episode. In the narcissist’s mind, it is easier to be angry than deal with the uncomfortable emotions of embarrassment, rejection, or shame. Rage is especially typical with vindictive narcissists.

6. Smearing Someone’s Reputation

A narcissistic smear campaign may happen after a narcissist ends a relationship, especially if they lose control of or access to supply. Smear campaigns are intended to harm a person’s social, familial, or professional reputation. The narcissist may do so by saying the victim is “crazy” or “unstable.” A smear campaign ensures the narcissist maintains control of the narrative and that their image is sustained.

7.  Self-Harm Behaviors

A covert narcissist may engage in self-harming behaviors when they feel slighted. By doing so, the narcissist can maintain control and regain attention or sympathy during a narcissistic collapse.

8. Making Accusations

During a narcissistic collapse, a narcissist may make untrue accusations toward another person to deflect from their behaviors. Such allegations distract from a narcissist’s mistakes or faults if they are called out. In this way, they avoid feeling ashamed or embarrassed if they can place blame on their victim.

9. Intense Anxiety

Narcissists may experience anxiety during a narcissistic collapse, possibly as irritability, increased distressing thoughts, or engaging in rituals. Anxiety may develop if they fear certain behaviors will be exposed or they are ignored, lose control, or receive too little attention.

10. Stonewalling

Stonewalling refers to a narcissist’s refusal to communicate with others, allowing them to preserve control by making their challenger feel guilty, confused, or stressed. The narcissist wants their victim to respond and engage with them so they can twist the situation in their favor and recover from a collapse.

11. Suddenly Ending a Relationship

A narcissist may end a relationship if it fails to meet their needs. This action, or the “narcissistic discard,” is often considered the final stage of narcissistic collapse. If the narcissist realizes their supply is being cut off, they move on to their next victim but remain involved in the person’s life by spreading a smear campaign or hoovering.

Are you dating or married to a narcissist?

Whether you’re trying to move on or rebuild a relationship, a licensed therapist can guide you. BetterHelp has over 20,000 licensed therapists who provide convenient and affordable online therapy. Visit BetterHelp

Is your mother, father, or family member a narcissist?

Being raised by a narcissist can damage your confidence and self-esteem. A therapist from Online-Therapy can help you both heal from the past, and manage the relationship to be less harmful.  Counseling starts at $50 per week. Try Online-Therapy

Choosing Therapy partners with leading mental health companies and is compensated for marketing by BetterHelp and Online-Therapy.

What to Expect From a Collapsed Narcissist

Narcissistic collapse often results in extreme, negative projection. Narcissistic projection is a defense mechanism that helps narcissists protect their ego and self-concept by attributing their negative traits to someone else.5 Subsequently, they may turn their self-hatred or rage onto other people.

Example of Narcissistic Collapse in a Parent

If a parent has NPD, narcissistic collapse can occur if their children challenge their core values or concept of self, such as a child not eating a meal the parent cooked or choosing to date someone they dislike. The collapse may resemble a serious temper tantrum where the parent becomes explosive and then depressed or withdrawn. A narcissistic parent may threaten to estrange or cut off their children and, in some cases, will actually do that. However, they will make it appear that the child ended the relationship.

Example of Narcissistic Collapse in a Partner

In romantic relationships, narcissistic collapse can look like a sudden breakup without warning or cause. Narcissistic collapse after a separation can manifest as obsessing, stalking, or trying to win someone back if the partner ends the relationship. While still in the relationship, the narcissist may oscillate between love-bombing their partner and discarding them entirely.

Example of Narcissistic Collapse in the Workplace

In the workplace, narcissistic collapse can also resemble a tantrum. A narcissistic boss may impulsively fire employees, bully others, or make nasty threats about how they intend to issue consequences.6 Moreover, if an employee attempts to quit, they might try to sever their reputation or blackmail them into staying.

How to Protect Yourself From a Collapsed Narcissist

Dealing with a narcissist can be confusing, frustrating, and emotionally draining. If you have identified symptoms of narcissistic collapse, avoiding the current situation entirely is best. Highlighting the narcissist’s behavior (or trying to fix it) will likely backfire. Instead, it’s essential to focus on letting people with NPD cope with their own emotions and consequences. It isn’t your responsibility to make things better.

You need to focus on prioritizing your own well-being and personal needs, particularly if you feel targeted during this time. Some people may benefit from taking a no-contact approach and eliminating communication. Others might practice setting healthy boundaries with a narcissist and specific limits on their willingness to engage.

When to Seek Professional Help

Recovering from narcissistic abuse can be difficult. If you feel stuck, scared, or uncertain, therapy can help. Using an online therapist directory to find the right therapist who understands NPD and narcissistic collapse can make all the difference. Therapy may be beneficial for processing your emotions, gaining support, and learning healthy strategies for managing boundaries moving forward.

Final Thoughts

People with NPD may rely on manipulating others to meet their needs. Knowing their real intentions and underlying insecurities can help protect yourself and your loved ones. Identifying how narcissistic collapse works–and recognizing key warning signs–can prevent ongoing pain and frustration.

Additional Resources

Education is just the first step on our path to improved mental health and emotional wellness. To help our readers take the next step in their journey, Choosing Therapy has partnered with leaders in mental health and wellness. Choosing Therapy may be compensated for marketing by the companies mentioned below.

Online Therapy

BetterHelp – Get support and guidance from a licensed therapist. BetterHelp has over 20,000 therapists who provide convenient and affordable online therapy.  Complete a brief questionnaire and get matched with the right therapist for you. Get Started

Online-Therapy – Online-Therapy.com provides a weekly live video session, unlimited text messaging, and self-guided activities like journaling. Starting at $64 per week, this is one of the most affordable options for CBT therapy. Try Online-Therapy

Narcissism Newsletter

A free newsletter from Choosing Therapy for those recovering from narcissistic abuse. Get helpful tips and the latest information. Sign Up

Choosing Therapy Directory 

You can search for therapists by specialty, experience, insurance, or price, and location. Find a therapist today.

Choosing Therapy partners with leading mental health companies and is compensated for marketing by BetterHelp and Online-Therapy.com.

For Further Reading

  • Best Books on Narcissistic Personality Disorder
  • Narcissistic Abuse Support
  • The National Domestic Violence Hotline

Narcissistic Collapse Infographics

What Is Narcissistic Collapse   Signs of Narcissistic collapse   How to Protect Yourself From a Collapsed Narcissist

6 sources

Choosing Therapy strives to provide our readers with mental health content that is accurate and actionable. We have high standards for what can be cited within our articles. Acceptable sources include government agencies, universities and colleges, scholarly journals, industry and professional associations, and other high-integrity sources of mental health journalism. Learn more by reviewing our full editorial policy.

  • Kowalchyk, M., et al. (2021). Narcissism through the lens of performative self-elevation. Personality and Individual Differences, 177, 110780. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2021.110780

  • Vaknin, S. (2020). Narcissistic Mortification, Shame, and Fear. SunText Review of Neuroscience & Psychology. https://doi.org/10.51737/2766-4503.2020.006

  • Speaking of Psychology: Recognizing a narcissist. (2016). American Psychological Association. Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/research/action/speaking-of-psychology/narcissism.

  • O’Reilly, C. A., & Hall, N. (2021). Grandiose narcissists and decision making: Impulsive, overconfident, and skeptical of experts-but seldom in doubt. Personality and individual differences, 168, 110280. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2020.110280

  • Projection. (n.d.). American Psychological Association. Retrieved from https://dictionary.apa.org/projection.

  • Stop Making Excuses for Toxic Bosses. (2021). Harvard Business Review. Retrieved from https://hbr.org/2021/01/stop-making-excuses-for-toxic-bosses.

update history

We regularly update the articles on ChoosingTherapy.com to ensure we continue to reflect scientific consensus on the topics we cover, to incorporate new research into our articles, and to better answer our audience’s questions. When our content undergoes a significant revision, we summarize the changes that were made and the date on which they occurred. We also record the authors and medical reviewers who contributed to previous versions of the article. Read more about our editorial policies here.

  • Originally Published: Dec 21, 2021
    Original Author: Nicole Artz, LMFT
    Original Reviewer: Kristen Fuller, MD

  • Updated: May 9, 2023
    Author: No Change
    Reviewer: No Change
    Primary Changes: Updated for readability and clarity. Reviewed and added relevant resources. Added “Overt Vs. Covert Narcissistic Collapse.” Revised “11 Signs of Narcissistic Collapse.” New material written by Gabrielle Juliano-Villani, LCSW and reviewed by Kristen Fuller, MD.

Recent Articles

how to set boundaries with a narcissist
15 Tips for Setting Boundaries With a Narcissist
Setting boundaries with narcissists can be challenging, but it’s extremely important to protect yourself from the emotional and practical...
';
How to Stop Being a Narcissist
How to Stop Being a Narcissist: 21 Tips
It’s uncommon for a narcissist to wonder if they’re narcissistic, especially how to stop being a narcissist. If you’re...
';
Narcissistic Injury Definition Signs Examples
Narcissistic Injury: Definition, Signs, & Examples
Narcissistic injury occurs when narcissists believe their self-image has been criticized, slighted, or insulted. Because they have low self-esteem,...
';
Narcissistic Abuse
Narcissistic Abuse: Signs, Effects, & Treatments
Narcissistic abuse occurs when a narcissist progressively manipulates and mistreats people to gain control over them, creating a toxic...
';
Therapy for Narcissism
Therapy for Narcissism: 7 Types & What to Expect
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) can be difficult to treat. However, there are several therapeutic approaches to help someone with...
';
The Grey Rock Method
The Grey Rock Method: Techniques & How to Use It
The Grey Rock Method is a metaphor for a style of communication and behavior used when you are trying...
';
Headshot of Nicole Arzt, LMFT
Written by:

Nicole Arzt

LMFT
Headshot of Dr. Kristen Fuller, MD
Reviewed by:

Kristen Fuller

MD
  • What Is Narcissistic Collapse?What Is Narcissistic Collapse?
  • What Causes Narcissistic Collapse?What Causes It?
  • Signs of Narcissistic CollapseSigns of Collapse
  • What to Expect From a Collapsed NarcissistWhat to Expect
  • How to Protect Yourself From a Collapsed NarcissistHow to Protect Yourself
  • When to Seek Professional HelpWhen to Seek Help
  • Final ThoughtsConclusion
  • Additional ResourcesResources
  • Narcissistic Collapse InfographicsInfographics
Call for immediate help
Emergency: 911
Suicide Hotline: 988
See more Crisis Hotlines
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Write for Us
  • Careers
  • Editorial Policy
  • Advertising Policy
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Service
  • No Surprises Act
For immediate help call:
Medical Emergency:
911
Suicide Hotline:
988
Click For More Crisis Hotlines
For immediate help call:
Medical Emergency:
911
Suicide Hotline:
811
See more Crisis Hotlines
here
logo
This site complies with the HONcode standard for trustworthy health information:
verify here.
This website is certified by Health On the Net Foundation. Click to verify.
Choosing Therapy Logo