Overt Narcissist: Signs, Traits, & How to Deal With One

What Is an Overt Narcissist?

Overt narcissism is a type of narcissism marked by grandiose self-importance and lack of empathy.¹ Overt narcissists often exaggerate their achievements, expect special treatment, and take advantage of others for personal gain. Others may perceive them as successful, but anxiety and low self-esteem lie beneath their false facades.

Overt Narcissist Vs. Covert Narcissist

Covert narcissists fly under the radar because they are not outwardly aggressive in attempts to appear important. They may be more sensitive to criticism, have difficulty fitting in, or use self-deprecating words to gain attention. Conversely, overt narcissists are only interested in taking up space. They want to be noticed by everyone and can use charm to manipulate and exploit others.

8 Overt Narcissist Traits

A common sign of an overt narcissist is the need to dominate every conversation. They may become enraged if interrupted or questioned. In the mind of an overt narcissist, they have the deepest, broadest knowledge of any subject, regardless of their qualifications or education. Additional traits include underlying insecurities and arrogance.

Common signs of an overt narcissist include:

1. Self-Absorption & Importance

When an overt narcissist enters a room, you immediately feel their presence. They are masters of presentation, reveling in their own words and appearances.^2,3 To an overt narcissist, everyone else becomes invisible beneath their over-inflated sense of self-importance and brilliance. They expect others to envy their opinions and intellect, and feel warranted in their elitist behavior and arrogance.

2. Lack of Empathy

Empathy refers to considering the needs, wants, desires, opinions, and feelings of others. This skill requires sensitivity and kindness. However, those with narcissistic personality disorder lack the ability to experience empathy.

In other words, an overt narcissist is not unwilling to feel empathetic but may be incapable of caring for others. Their self-involvement is so severe they believe their needs take precedence. With narcissistic parents, this startling lack of comprehension can result in childhood emotional neglect or inadequate parenting.

3. Underlying Depression & Anxiety

Beneath the overt narcissistic facade of self-absorption and self-centeredness lies hidden anxiety and depression. The narcissist cannot recognize these struggles and will become defensive if another person points them out. They may react with narcissistic rage because they feel slighted or criticized by this person.

4. Hidden Vulnerability

Outward manifestations of aggression disguise the unconscious vulnerability of the narcissist. Overt narcissists behave as such to overcompensate for their deep sensitivities and low self-esteem. They may have experienced childhood neglect or trauma that affects their ability to trust others and be vulnerable. Due to an inability to accept the care of others, they perpetually seek approval and recognition.

5. Hyper-Focused on Self-Importance

Overt narcissists may have lacked proper parental nurturing as children. Children need validation and approval to establish healthy self-esteem and confidence as they navigate the world. The narcissist does not have this foundation and seeks evidence of their worth by maintaining the appreciation and admiration of others.

6. False Altruism

Overt narcissists often exhibit altruistic or even magnanimous behavior. They may create an image of selflessness to publicize their perceived noteworthy actions, donations, or talents. Receiving public acclaim and recognition feeds their narcissist supply, ideal image of success, and perpetual need for reassurance.

7. Lack of Boundaries

Overt narcissism in relationships often manifests as a lack of boundaries and manipulation. Given the self-importance, self-aggrandizement, and grandiosity characteristics of overt narcissism, these individuals cannot recognize appropriate boundaries in social, romantic, or professional relationships. They overstep their welcome, overestimate the importance of their presence, and exhibit malignant or manipulative qualities. They cannot develop ‘healthy’ boundaries because these require them to appreciate the needs and opinions of others.

8. Masked Insecurities

Insecurity is another common overt narcissist trait. Of course, everyone has insecurities, strengths, and weaknesses. However, an overt narcissist cannot accept their shortcomings or mistakes. Their idealized sense of self misaligns with reality. Overt narcissists use clever words and charming mannerisms to minimize missteps or flaws.

Examples of Overt Narcissist Behaviors

Overt narcissism can exist in any relationship. Regardless of the nature of these relationships, overt narcissists often use narcissistic manipulation tactics to achieve their goals. They may do so by demeaning the opinions of others, distorting the truth with narcissistic gaslighting, or making unrealistic demands.

Below are some examples of overt narcissistic behaviors:

• Someone who talks about their achievements constantly and seeks admiration and praise from others
• A narcissistic boss who puts employees down and takes credit for their work
• A spouse who demeans their partner, even if this partner has more accomplishments than the narcissist
• A parent who revels in their children’s achievements as if these successes were their own
• An employee who arrives late to meetings or reschedules according to their needs
• A person who decries receiving a lower salary than others or superiors

Overt Narcissist Causes

Overt narcissism may stem from various factors, such as faulty parenting, childhood trauma, genetics, or brain abnormalities. More research is needed to determine the exact cause.

Some potential causes of overt narcissism include:

• Genetics: Neuroscientists suggest that certain brain abnormalities in narcissists may be genetic. However, determining whether these characteristics are genetic or environmental is difficult.
• Parenting styles: Children who lack proper recognition may experience delayed progressive development.⁴
• Childhood trauma: Having a caregiver who fails to provide essential love and attention leaves a child feeling ill-prepared for developing healthy relationships and self-identity. The child creates defensive and narcissistic traits to compensate for this lack of development.

How to Deal With an Overt Narcissist

Living with a narcissist or deciding to break ties with the narcissist is challenging, especially in long-term relationships. Having a narcissistic friend or partner can erode your self-esteem. However, there are healthy and productive ways to deal with a narcissist. Remember to set boundaries and stick to your personal goals when approaching an overt narcissist.

Here are some strategies for dealing with an overt narcissist:

Lean on Your Support Network

Rely on trustworthy friends, colleagues, and acquaintances who appreciate and value you. Listen carefully to how their views of you differ from the narcissist. Your loved ones will provide healthy insight into your true self-worth without the interference of the narcissist.

Establish Your Own Personal Goals

You may have lost sight of your personal goals if an overt narcissist perpetually overshadowed you. Question the outcomes you want for your life, make choices to achieve these goals, and appreciate the results.

Recognize Unhealthy Silent Treatments

After a narcissist feels slighted, they may use silent treatments to manipulate you. While their behavior is not your fault, you may feel lonely without their attention. Recognize this manipulation tactic as unacceptable behavior, and distance yourself from the narcissist by leaving the room, house, or workplace.

Prepare for Angry Outbursts

An overt narcissist will often respond to criticism or questioning with anger. If the narcissist lashes out at you, briefly and clearly express a difference of opinion and move on. Doing so takes courage but will disarm the narcissist. Beneath their rage lies deep-rooted insecurity. With that in mind, you may remain compassionate while removing yourself.⁵

Evaluate Parenting Decisions

If co-parenting with a narcissist, always prioritize your children’s health, safety, and needs. Your child deserves credit for their own accomplishments. Their successes should not serve the narcissistic parent.

Revive Your Common Sense

Trust your instinct. Your common sense will tell you if an overt narcissist constantly invalidates, undermines, and demeans you. Keep a log of their narcissistic abuse so you can identify their patterns. Reflect on this pattern and use it to your advantage.

Remove Yourself From the Situation

Do not stay in the same vicinity of an out-of-control overt narcissist. You can not have a reasonable discussion or argument with someone in this mental state, so don’t try. You can revisit the conversation at another time or remove yourself from the situation.

Set Boundaries

Setting boundaries with a narcissist means recognizing and maintaining your independence from the narcissist. Your choices and decisions determine these boundaries, whether physical or emotional. While it may be difficult to stick to your limits when attacked, remind yourself of your worth when encountering an overt narcissist.

When to Seek Professional Help

If you have lost sight of your goals for intimacy and friendship, you need a sounding board to clarify your hopes, goals, needs, and desires for the future. A professional social worker, psychologist, or psychiatrist may help you see yourself and the narcissist more clearly. Try to choose a provider well-trained in narcissistic personality disorder. You can start finding the right therapist using an online therapist directory.

In My Experience

In my experience, a narcissist will only change if willing to. View this as the narcissist entering a new psychological arena, way of thinking, and living inside themselves. Their behaviors change because their insides change first.⁶