Overt Narcissist: Signs, Traits, & How to Deal With One

What Is an Overt Narcissist?

An overt narcissist, also known as a grandiose narcissist, is someone who openly shows traits associated with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). They believe they are highly important, talented, or special and crave attention and admiration. They often lack empathy and have little regard for others’ feelings.¹ Unlike covert narcissists, who hide their narcissism behind modesty or self-pity, overt narcissists behind a façade of self-deprecating words or humility, overt narcissists want to be noticed by everyone and use their charm to manipulate and take advantage of others.

Free Worksheets for Coping With a Narcissist

This collection of worksheets is designed to help you identify and navigate narcissistic behavior, recognize gaslighting tactics, set healthy boundaries, and reinforce your personal strengths to protect your emotional well-being. Find the one you need, or download the entire worksheet collection here.

Complete Workbook Download

Identifying Narcissistic Traits Download

Identifying Gaslighting Tactics Download

Setting Healthy Boundaries Download

Personal Strengths Inventory Download

Narcissistic Abuse Cycle Download

8 Overt Narcissist Traits

Overt narcissists are known for their dramatic, attention-seeking behavior, driven by an inflated sense of self and a constant need for praise. They often take over conversations, ignore others’ opinions, and depend on admiration to feel good about themselves. However, beneath their confident exterior, they often hide deep insecurities and emotional struggles.

Here are eight signs of an overt narcissist:

1. Grandiosity & Self-Absorption

Overt narcissists have an inflated sense of their own importance. They believe they are exceptional, deserving of admiration, and superior to others. This grandiosity drives their need to dominate conversations and dismiss others’ contributions. When they enter a room, their self-centered nature takes over, leaving others feeling invisible. They are often preoccupied with their own opinions, achievements, and appearance, demanding recognition and respect from everyone around them.^2,3

2. Attention Seeking

Attention is the lifeblood of overt narcissists. They go to great lengths to ensure that all eyes are on them, whether through boasting, dramatic behavior, or creating conflict. Their need for attention reinforces their sense of superiority and helps sustain their self-image.

3. Lack of Empathy

Empathy requires understanding and caring about the feelings of others, but overt narcissists struggle with this completely. They view their needs and desires as the only priorities, often invalidating or ignoring the emotions of those around them. In family dynamics, this lack of empathy can manifest as neglect or dismissiveness, leaving others feeling unimportant or unsupported.

4. Preoccupation With Others’ Opinions

Overt narcissists are obsessed with how others perceive them. They crave admiration and constantly seek validation to sustain their fragile self-worth, relying on what is often called “narcissistic supply“—the attention, praise, or recognition they draw from others to maintain their inflated self-image. This often leads to performative acts of “kindness” designed to garner praise rather than to help others. For example, they might donate to charity or help someone in need but ensure their efforts are highly publicized, feeding their need for recognition rather than reflecting genuine care.

5. Exploitative Behavior

A lack of empathy often leads overt narcissists to exploit others for personal gain. They may manipulate relationships, taking advantage of people’s time, resources, or emotions without offering anything in return. This exploitation is often subtle, framed as a normal part of interactions, leaving others feeling used or undervalued.

6. Hidden Vulnerabilities & Insecurities

Beneath their confident and showy exterior, overt narcissists often feel deeply insecure and vulnerable. They try to cover up these feelings by constantly seeking approval and admiration from others. These insecurities often come from childhood neglect or trauma and push them to stay in control of how others see them. To hide their weaknesses, they may avoid criticism or use charm to distract from their flaws.

7. Underlying Depression & Anxiety

Despite their outward confidence, overt narcissists often struggle with unacknowledged feelings of depression and anxiety. These emotions are buried beneath their grandiose facade, and they react defensively or with anger when these struggles are pointed out. This defensiveness protects their fragile self-image, but it prevents them from addressing their emotional health.

8. Lack of Boundaries

In relationships, overt narcissists frequently disregard boundaries. They may overstep social, professional, or personal limits, failing to recognize or respect others’ autonomy. For instance, they may insert themselves into situations where they aren’t welcome or impose their opinions on others without considering the consequences. Their inability to establish or respect boundaries reflects their self-absorption and disregard for others’ needs.

How to Deal With an Overt Narcissist

Navigating a relationship with an overt narcissist—whether in a personal or professional setting—can be emotionally exhausting. Their need for attention, control, and validation often dominates interactions, leaving others feeling frustrated and drained. While overt narcissists are unlikely to change their behavior, there are effective strategies to deal with a narcissist that will protect your mental health and manage the relationship more constructively.

Here are some strategies for dealing with an overt narcissist:

Set Boundaries

Setting boundaries with a narcissist means recognizing and maintaining your independence from the narcissist. Your choices and decisions determine these boundaries, whether physical or emotional. While it may be difficult to stick to your limits when attacked, remind yourself of your worth when encountering an overt narcissist.

Do not stay in the same vicinity of an out-of-control overt narcissist. You can not have a reasonable discussion or argument with someone in this mental state, so don’t try. You can revisit the conversation at another time or remove yourself from the situation.

Try Grey Rocking

The grey rock method is an effective strategy for managing interactions with overt narcissists. These individuals thrive on attention and reactions, using drama and manipulation to secure their “narcissistic supply”—the validation they need to maintain their inflated self-image. By making yourself uninteresting and emotionally neutral, you deny them the engagement they crave, reducing their ability to control the interaction.

For instance, if an overt narcissist becomes boastful, dramatic, or confrontational, respond with brief, noncommittal replies such as “Oh, I see” or “That’s interesting.” Avoid showing strong emotions, asking follow-up questions, or offering detailed responses. Even small actions like limiting eye contact and keeping your tone calm and dispassionate can signal that you’re not feeding into their tactics.

Lean on Your Support Network

Overt narcissists thrive on controlling narratives and creating environments where their opinions and needs dominate. Having people in your corner who genuinely value and respect you can serve as a grounding force, reminding you of your worth outside of the narcissist’s influence. For instance, if an overt narcissist undermines your accomplishments or dismisses your feelings, your support system can affirm your strengths and provide encouragement, helping to rebuild your confidence.

Learn to Recognize Manipulation Tactics

Narcissists often use tactics like silent treatment, guilt-tripping, or dismissing your feelings to manipulate and control you. Recognizing these patterns can empower you to respond effectively.

For example, if the narcissist gives you the silent treatment, understand that it’s a tactic to make you feel insecure. Rather than trying to appease them, focus on maintaining your boundaries and removing yourself from the situation if needed. Keeping a journal of these behaviors can also help you identify recurring patterns and reflect on them constructively.

Limit Your Interactions When Possible

Dealing with an overt narcissist can be emotionally draining, so it’s important to prioritize your mental health by limiting interactions whenever possible. Choose how much time you spend with the overt narcissist based on your comfort level. If interactions are unavoidable—such as at family gatherings or work events—use strategies like grey rocking to keep the engagement neutral and minimize their ability to provoke or manipulate you.

Prepare for Angry Outbursts

Overt narcissists often respond to criticism or perceived slights with anger or rage. If this happens, remain calm and briefly state your perspective without escalating the situation. Then, remove yourself from the confrontation. Understanding that their anger stems from deep insecurities can help you stay grounded and compassionate without compromising your boundaries.⁴

Seek Professional Help When Necessary

If the stress of dealing with a narcissistic daughter-in-law becomes overwhelming, consider seeking support from a therapist. A professional experienced in narcissistic family dynamics can help you navigate the situation, establish healthy boundaries, and develop tools to manage difficult interactions.

How to Find Professional Support

Working with a mental health professional can help you better understand your relationship with an overt narcissist and give you tools to manage it. They can guide you in setting boundaries, improving your well-being, and dealing with the challenges that come with these interactions.

When looking for a therapist, choose someone who specializes in narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and family dynamics. An online therapist directory makes it easy to search for therapists with specific expertise. Alternatively, there are many online therapy services that can match you with an expert who offers flexible options like video or phone sessions to fit your needs.

What Causes Someone to Become an Overt Narcissist?

The roots of overt narcissism can vary, and experts believe it’s influenced by a mix of genetics, childhood experiences, and environmental factors. More research is needed to determine the exact cause.

Some potential causes of overt narcissism include:

• Genetics: Research suggests there may be a genetic component to narcissism, but this is not fully understood. Studies on brain structure, such as differences in the prefrontal cortex and amygdala, indicate that some neurological traits might predispose individuals to narcissistic tendencies.⁵
• Parenting styles: Parenting can play a significant role in the development of narcissistic traits. Overly critical, neglectful, or overly indulgent parenting can contribute to a child’s difficulties with self-esteem and emotional regulation, which may lead to narcissistic behaviors.⁶
• Childhood trauma: Experiencing neglect, emotional abuse, or inconsistent caregiving during formative years can result in the development of defense mechanisms like narcissism. The child may create an inflated self-image to cope with feelings of inadequacy or rejection.⁶