What Is a Sex Therapist & How Can One Help Me?

What Is a Sex Therapist?

Sex therapists are licensed professionals who have specialized expertise to work with clientele who are dealing with issues relating to sexuality, sexual functioning, emotional intimacy, sexual intimacy, and relationships. Individuals at a master’s-level of education and those at the doctoral level can pursue training and certification as a sex therapist.

Mental health professionals who can provide sex therapy include:

• Social workers
• Licensed mental health counselors
• Licensed marriage and family counselors
• Psychologists
• Psychiatrists

Is the Title “Sex Therapist” Regulated?

At this time, there are no regulations or restrictions regarding who can refer to themself as a “sex therapist.” Individuals seeking services from a sex therapist should pay attention to certifications their provider has obtained to signify their training in providing sex therapy services. The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT) offers training and supervision to become a certified sex therapist.

The AASECT requires sex therapists to possess an “advanced clinical degree,” which includes training as a psychotherapist and varying amounts of clinical experience depending on one’s degree and licensure. The licensed individual is required to complete 90 hours of education pertaining to human sexuality, 60 hours of sex therapy training, as well as supervision by a certified supervisor through the AASECT.²

What Makes a Sex Therapist Different?

What sets sex therapists apart from other types of mental health providers is their specialized training in treating sexuality and sex-related concerns. Non-specialized mental health providers may feel prepared to assist clients with concerns regarding their sex life, and they may assist successfully; however, clients will most likely benefit from seeking out a sex therapist for sexual concerns due to their additional training and expertise.

Common sexual issues a sex therapist can help with include:

• Sexual education and addressing common misconceptions regarding sexuality
• Improving communication about sex between partners
• Improving issues around sexual incompatibility between partners
• Issues around gender identity or sexual orientation
• Coping with living with sexually transmitted infections (STIs)
• Sexual trauma
• Lack of sexual desire
• Lack of sexual arousal
• Sexual performance anxiety
• Body-image concerns surrounding intimacy
• Anorgasmia (difficulty achieving orgasm)
• Difficulty getting and maintaining an erection
• Difficulties associated with ejaculation – premature or delayed

What Does a Sex Therapist Do?

A sex therapist works with clients to treat a variety of sexual dysfunctions. These dysfunctions can be limited to affecting one individual or can affect the sexual relationship between multiple partners. Sex therapists work to treat emotional and cognitive barriers that may be disrupting one’s typical and expected sexual functioning. Sex therapy is not a substitute for the treatment of medical concerns.

Sex therapists, similar to other mental health practitioners, will utilize psychotherapy approaches to treat client concerns. Psychotherapy can be difficult for the client due to the vulnerability required to discuss sexual dysfunctions of any kind. Sex therapists will focus on building a positive relationship between themself and their client(s) in order to encourage honest communication of client concerns.

Common types of psychotherapy used in sex therapy include:

• Talk Therapy: Sex therapy does not consist of physical contact. Sex therapy is talk therapy regarding the socioemotional concerns that may lead to the client(s) sexual dysfunction.
• Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): CBT is intended to address one’s thoughts and preconceived notions (cognitions), which influence one’s behavior. Sex therapists may utilize CBT to address a client’s held belief about sex or sexual functioning that may be affecting their sexual functioning.
• Mindfulness interventions: Mindfulness skills are intended to help clients stay focused on the present moment. Anxiety or distractions may interrupt a client’s ability to stay focused on sexual activity and disrupt sexual functioning.
• Couples therapy: A study conducted in 2010 reported that low sexual satisfaction amongst partners will contribute to 50% to 70% of overall relationship satisfaction. Couples therapy provides an environment for clients to be honest and vulnerable about how sexual dysfunction may be affecting their relationship or how relationship concerns are affecting sexual functioning. Couples therapists can also help couples find ways to improve sexual compatibility.
• Emotion-based therapy: Emotional concerns will most likely affect one’s ability to demonstrate appropriate or expected sexual functioning. Addressing one’s underlying emotional concerns will ideally improve their ability to function appropriately during independent sexual activity and intimacy with partners.

What to Expect During Sex Therapy Sessions

Sex therapists will begin therapy by inquiring about the sexual background of the client(s). This includes the client(s)’s education and beliefs about sex. The content discussed during sex therapy sessions will vary depending on the client(s) specific needs. Sex therapists may also provide the client(s) with homework, such as experimenting with different sexual activities, either individually or with a partner.

As with most mental health practitioners, initial sessions, and the several subsequent sessions, with a sex therapist will be spent developing positive rapport between the client(s) and therapist. The sensitive nature of topics discussed during sex therapy sessions requires a particular level of comfort.

How a Sexual Therapist Can Help You

The primary intent of sex therapy is to assist clients with addressing sexual dysfunctions that are interfering with their lives. However, experiencing sexual dysfunction or concerns are not the only catalyst for seeking services from a sex therapist. Sex therapy can be useful for anyone seeking to improve their sexual knowledge, or those seeking to improve their sexual relationship with themselves or their partner

Here are five benefits of sex therapy:

1. Identify & Address Underlying Causes of Sexual Issues

Sex therapy can assist an individual, or a couple, identify the root cause of one’s sexual dysfunction. Dependent on a client’s history, sexual dysfunctions may be caused by a surface-level concern or a deeper trauma-related concern. Ideally, identifying the root cause of a client’s sexual dysfunction is the first step toward overcoming said dysfunction.

2. Grow a Deeper Sexual Connection With Yourself & Your Partner

Working with a sex therapist can improve one’s sexual relationship with themself, as well as their relationship with a partner. Dependent on the concerns discussed, sex therapy recipients may receive homework assignments. These assignments or exercises may be intended to promote experimentation or improved communication with a partner. Improved ability to recognize one’s own needs and desires, or the needs and desires of a partner, will ideally improve a client’s sexual functioning in the long-term.

3. Increase Confidence

Working with a sex therapist may also improve a client’s confidence. Overcoming a sexual dysfunction or improving one’s ability to satisfy oneself or a partner may cause a client to feel more empowered as a sexual being. Feelings of inadequacy have been shown to negatively impact sexual performance, ultimately leading to less sexual satisfaction for the individual in question and any associated partners.³ As such, improved confidence and self-image regarding one’s ability to sexually perform may lead to improved sexual satisfaction.

4. Improve Understanding of Sexual Functioning & Pleasure

In addition to the talk-therapy aspects of sex therapy, another goal of the service is to improve the client(s) sexual education and understanding of sexual functioning and pleasure. Improper sexual health education can lead clients to feel confused and shameful as they experience a variety of sexual pleasures or an occurrence of sexual dysfunction. Through work with a sex therapist, clients can overcome hazardous personal biases and inaccurate sexual health education.

5. Enhance Ability to Address Future Concerns

Sex therapy will provide clients with enhanced knowledge and understanding of their personal biases, reasons for their sexual dysfunctions, and improved sexual education. This enhanced understanding will ideally prepare clients to cope with and overcome sexual dysfunction in the future, should it reoccur. Sex therapy will also help the client by providing skills to process and cope with anxiety, toxic shame, and confusion surrounding sexual activity and experiences.

Where to Find a Sex Therapist

Finding a mental health provider can be an overwhelming process. Finding and choosing a sex therapist can be even more stressful when seeking such a niche and specialty provider. Utilizing an online therapist directory can be helpful for potential clients who are unsure where to begin their search. While seeking out a sex therapist, something to consider is legitimacy in regard to certification.

The AASECT is presently the most notable organization that can ensure that mental health providers are appropriately trained and certified to provide sex therapy services. Individuals seeking couples counseling as a modality for sex therapy may further benefit by seeking out providers with licensure or certification as a provider of marriage or family counseling. Marriage and family therapists focus on tending to how individual items of concern affect relationship dynamics and the overall family unit.⁴

In My Experience

In my experience, sexual dysfunctions and shame surrounding sexual activity and/or pleasure can significantly affect a client’s self-image and overall quality of life. Both clients who attend counseling individually, and those who seek services as a couple, may experience shame surrounding their sexual hang-ups, desires, or any performance concerns. It is paramount that a client feels comfortable with their provider, especially while discussing concerns that many people consider private and intimate.

During my work with clients, I’ve witnessed how overcoming shame can drastically improve one’s self-image and sexual satisfaction. It may be uncomfortable to begin the process of seeking sex therapy; however, the potential pay-off of receiving sex therapy services is worth temporarily feeling uncomfortable.