5 Reasons to Begin Therapy After a Breakup

What Is Breakup Therapy?

Breakup therapy refers to any form of therapy that a person seeks out after a breakup. It may include couples counseling with your ex to process the breakup together or make practical decisions, such as a schedule for the kids or who keeps the car. Alternatively, individual therapy focuses on personal healing and coping strategies.^1,2,3

A couples counseling session may include:

• Understanding what led to the breakup: Clarifying contributing factors helps individuals recognize patterns for future relationships.
• Processing emotions in a safe space: A therapist provides a neutral environment to express feelings and develop emotional resilience.
• Developing coping strategies: Learning techniques to transition from a couple to an independent life.
• Creating a plan for moving forward: Establishing healthy co-parenting boundaries or strategies for peaceful interactions.

An individual therapy session may include:

• Processing emotions: Exploring and validating post-breakup feelings.
• Setting personal goals: Identifying what you want to achieve through therapy and learning how to stop loving someone.
• Learning coping strategies: Discovering techniques to manage emotions and adjust to new routines.
• Building a fulfilling lifestyle: Finding new ways to engage in hobbies, self-care, and community.

5 Reasons to Begin Therapy After a Breakup

Breakups can be emotionally overwhelming, requiring adjustment to life without a partner. Therapy helps with acceptance, emotional processing, and moving forward in a way that feels best to you.

Here are five reasons a person should begin therapy after a breakup:

1. Therapy Can Help You Adjust

Breakups bring major life changes, such as moving, financial shifts, and new routines. Adjusting can be stressful, but therapy helps you navigate transitions and establish stability.⁴

2. Therapy Can Help You Process Grief

Although different from bereavement, a person can experience breakup grief when a relationship ends. The stages of grief after a breakup are the same as those for any other loss. Keep in mind that not everyone will experience every stage and that the stages can occur in any order.

The stages of grief after a breakup include:⁵

• Bargaining: Trying to reverse the breakup by promising change.
• Denial: Struggling to accept the relationship’s end.
• Anger: Feeling resentment toward the situation, your partner, or yourself.
• Depression: Experiencing sadness, feelings of hopelessness, isolation, appetite changes, and low motivation.
• Acceptance: Gradually coming to terms with the breakup.

3. Therapy Helps Restore Functioning

Breakups can disrupt work, home life, and daily responsibilities. Therapy provides tools to regain focus, motivation, and emotional stability. If you’ve noticed that you can’t function the same as before at work, home, or elsewhere, breakup therapy can help you get to a place of functioning that feels best for you.

4. Therapy Offers Judgment-Free Support

Ideally, a person would be able to turn to their family, friends, or whoever they feel close to and use them as their social support during a breakup. But not everyone has a strong support system, and some may fear judgment from friends or family. A breakup therapist can serve as extra support and provide a judgment-free place to work through their breakup.

5. Therapy Can Help You Deal With Distressing Feelings

Breakups can lead to depression, a decrease in life satisfaction, and general feelings of distress.⁶ If you notice symptoms you’re having difficulty managing or would like help with, breakup counseling may be useful. The therapist can use evidence-based therapeutic approaches to help you with those symptoms.

How to Cope With a Breakup

Breakups can be very difficult and emotionally devastating sometimes. In addition to breakup therapy, there are coping strategies you can implement immediately, which can be helpful in your journey to heal.

Some healthy ways to cope with a breakup include:

Journaling

Journaling is a good way to let your emotions out on paper; however, an article from the American Psychological Association explains that specifically after a breakup, journaling about the positives that may arise from it has been shown to be helpful in feeling better and helpful for your growth after the breakup.⁶

Social Support

Social support can be a huge help to a person dealing with a breakup. This can be done either by talking to those in your social circle and getting emotional support or by your social circle helping you with things like chores if you’re overwhelmed.⁷ The key is to tap into the ways those close to you can be of support to you and recognize that you can also receive love from other people and not just your romantic partners.

Self-Care

Post-breakup might feel like a time when you would rather not do anything, but sticking to a good sleep schedule, exercising, doing activities you enjoy, and taking care of your general well-being is very important. Self-care routines can help you avoid falling into self-neglect during a distressing time..

Practice Self-Love

Breakups can be a blow to a person’s self-esteem, and in some circumstances, an individual has stepped so deeply into their relationship that their sense of self is also lost after the breakup. In those times, learning to love yourself again can help you feel better about yourself after the breakup. You can take yourself to your favorite places, write yourself a love letter, be gentle and patient with yourself, and do activities you love.

Mindfulness

During breakups, there is often an influx of racing thoughts about what the future might hold post-breakup and simultaneously ongoing memories of what the relationship was like. Practicing mindfulness is a way to help you be more present in the moment and release some of those thoughts.

Tap Into Your Resilience

If you’ve been through a breakup or heartache before, consider what helped you heal in the past. Did you take a trip, dive into a new hobby, or lean on close friends? Maybe time in nature, creative pursuits, or spiritual reflection brought you comfort. Reflect on those moments and the strategies that worked for you. Your past experiences hold valuable insights, trust yourself to navigate this season just as you have before.

When to Seek Professional Support

Breakups can be tough, so if you are having a harder time coping than you thought, you might want to seek professional help from a therapist. Even if you are feeling okay, therapy can help you improve skills such as conflict resolution and healthy boundary setting, which will benefit you when you choose to date again. Speak with a therapist about your goals, and you can decide together if therapy is a helpful tool to achieve those goals.

An online therapist directory is a great place to search for a therapist specializing in breakup therapy. Alternatively, if you are having difficulty pulling yourself out of your home or have scheduling conflicts, an online therapy platform may be a good option.