The Effects of Alcoholism on Families

Alcoholism & Financial Problems

As the user’s tolerance increases, alcoholism often leads to financial strain. In fact, it is not uncommon for the drinker to spend an average of $1,000 a month on alcohol.² This spending impacts the family’s ability to pay bills, take family trips, and make home repairs. As the drinking increases, family’s earnings decrease, leading to debt, and in some cases, homelessness.

Other financial problems included:

• Less income due to missed work
• Inability to pay down credit card bills
• Increased credit card charges to cover living expenses
• Expenses related to drinking or alcohol-related activities (i.e., clubbing or gambling)
• Late fees or penalties due to late payments
• Hospital bills from alcohol-related health problems

Finances are about more than the dollars earned; they also include earning potential. Studies show that drinking can affect work or academic productivity at every phase of working life. If the person started using alcohol in college, their employment prospects and salary potential could be impacted negatively across their lifespan. Heavy drinkers are more likely to be late for work, less productive, or absent due to a hangover. They may also experience hangover anxiety, adding to relationship problems.

Alcoholism’s Impact on Children & Child Development

More than 10% of kids live with a parent who has alcohol problems, which often leads to problems with conduct, development, socialization, and addiction.¹ Growing up in a household with an alcohol user has a lifelong effect on children and can change their perception of themselves and the world around them. Emotionally, they feel guilty, blaming themselves for the parent/caregiver’s dependence.

Other emotional experiences include:³

• Anger: Feeling agitated and irritated by the parent with the substance dependence, as well as the parent who may be enabling the dependence
• Anxiety: Constantly worrying that the person with the disorder may become sick, injured, or violent
• Confusion: Lacking stability in a home environment that is inconsistent and unpredictable
• Depression: Feeling lonely and hopeless about the situation at home
• Detachment: Feeling emotionally numb or dissociative as a way of coping with anxiety and stress
• Distrust: Having a sense that they cannot rely on anyone based on previous disappointing experiences with their parents or caregiver as a result of alcohol use
• Embarrassment: Believing that alcohol dependence is an embarrassing secret to keep and being ashamed to invite friends over or ask for help

Children also experience social, developmental, or physical problems such as:

• Poor grades or failing at school
• Overachieving in school or becoming a perfectionist
• Truancy
• Acting like a parental figure
• Engaging in risky behaviors
• Inability to make or bond with friends
• Stealing
• Aggressive or violent behavior
• Physical illnesses
• Begins to use alcohol and/or other drugs
• Suicidal thoughts/attempts

Alcoholism & Domestic Abuse

Studies report that 92% of victims of domestic violence have reported alcohol use as a factor of the abuse.¹ However, other studies dismiss or challenge alcohol use as a cause of domestic problems, saying that the individual uses alcohol use as an excuse for domestic violence. This is not to say there is no link between alcohol use and domestic problems, but that alcohol is not the only one.

Alcohol affects the brain by blocking chemical signals between brain cells called neurons. When these signals are blocked, effects include impulsive behavior, slow reflexes, and poor memory. Alcohol also affects cognitive and physical functioning, which leads to poor self-control and acts of violence. Families of alcohol users reported increased abuse such as verbal insults, manipulation, humiliation, and emotional/physical abuse.² If you or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at: 1-800-799-7233.

Alcohol & Expecting Mothers

Fetal alcohol spectrum disorders (FASDs) are a group of conditions that can occur in a person whose mother drank alcohol during pregnancy. Alcohol-related health conditions that impact babies are called Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS), and they affect 0.2 to 1.5 infants of 1,000 births.⁴ Babies born with FAS are affected by physical disabilities, physical problems, and learning disabilities that can affect them as adults.

There is no safe time to drink when trying to get pregnant or during pregnancy. An important note is that all forms of alcohol are dangerous to an unborn child, including beer, wine coolers, and wine. Of note, brain growth takes place during the entire pregnancy. The sooner you stop drinking alcohol, the better it will be for your unborn child. And it is never too late to stop.

Finding Support for Families Dealing With an Alcoholic

Finding treatment and support for family members of alcohol users is the first step towards healing. Remember that recovery of the family can begin whether the alcohol user is still drinking or has quit. Start by having a meeting to decide the needs of each member. As a group, you can determine the best approach for healing.

It is important to talk about how each family member is affected and what support means to them. This discussion may be hard, especially for younger family members. Know that you are not alone and there is help available no matter your financial condition.

Getting Help for an Alcoholic

After learning how to help an alcoholic, getting help for the alcohol user is not the family’s decision. The user must want to seek treatment for themselves, which requires them to realize there is a problem. Due to increased tolerance, the user may not even see their drinking as a problem until they get in legal trouble or their job functioning is impaired. Sometimes, physical injuries are a wakeup call.

Mental health professionals such as counselors, psychologists, psychiatrists, and clinical social workers can guide your family member to the best recovery approach, answering questions about in-patient or outpatient treatment. Heavy drinkers may require in-patient detox to help deal with alcohol withdrawal symptoms. Generally, individual and group psychotherapy are included in treatment, and family sessions may also be provided.

Outpatient treatment means meeting with a mental health professional in a private setting. You may meet once a week or more. This schedule is determined by you and the mental health professional based on how often you use. Some people may join a peer-led program such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or self-management and recovery training (SMART).

Getting Help for Impacted Family Members

If you’re looking for a mental health professional, consider using an online directory like Choosing Therapy. Professional help is a major factor in the recovery process for everyone touched by alcoholism, and it is not dependent on whether the user themselves is in therapy. In addition to teaching coping skills, it provides resources for housing, employment, childcare, healthcare, and legal services.

Family counseling/therapy can help you learn how to better communicate with each other, build a strong bond of trust, and create a more stable home environment. Support groups are also helpful as you will begin to understand that you are not responsible for the actions and behaviors of your loved one. No matter which resource you decide on, they can help you face the problem head on.

Final Thoughts on the Effects of Alcoholism on Families

The condition of alcoholism typically continues to progress until the person is ready to reach out and get help. However, waiting for that to happen is not your only choice. What you are dealing with is unique to you. Remember though, you are not alone and there are things you can do to get help. Choosing Therapy is one of many resources available to help you find the help you need.