The Effects of Alcoholism on Families

How Does Alcoholism Affect Families?

Alcoholism spreads to every aspect of familial life, affecting relationships, attitudes, finances, and child development. Ultimately, the whole family faces the repercussions of alcohol dependence due to an unsafe environment filled with disruptions, tension, and dishonesty. The individual struggling with an alcohol use disorder (AUD) may not recognize the impact of their drinking habits on loved ones, but the consequences ensue nonetheless.

Alcoholism is often referred to as a family disease because its impact extends beyond the struggling individuals. Alcohol addiction affects the entire family, including spouses, children, parents, and siblings.¹ This disease can disrupt harmony, stability, and well-being, leading to frequent arguments, conflicts, and communication breakdowns.

How Alcoholism Affects Relationships

In some cases, the effects of alcoholism on relationships are profound. Alcoholism can ruin relationships with friends, coworkers, and partners, leading to significant disruptions and difficulties. The destructive nature of alcoholism can erode trust, communication, and reliability, creating a ripple effect extending beyond the individual struggling with alcohol.¹

Relationship dynamics can become distorted as loved ones may fill enabling or codependent roles to protect the alcoholic or maintain a semblance of normalcy. Eventually, these behaviors can lead to a cycle of dysfunction where everyone becomes focused on the alcoholic and their needs, neglecting their own well-being.

Alcoholism & Financial Problems

Alcoholism often leads to financial strain as the user continues to build alcohol tolerance. It is not uncommon for the drinker to spend an average of $1,000 a month on alcohol.² This excessive and frivolous spending impacts the ability to pay bills, take family trips, and make home repairs. As the drinking increases, families experience debt and, in some cases, homelessness.

Finances are about more than the dollars earned. They also include earning potential. Studies show that drinking affects work or academic productivity at every phase. For example, starting to drink in college may impact employment prospects and salary potential across the lifespan. Heavy drinkers are frequently late for work, less productive, or absent due to their drinking behavior.

The effects of alcoholism on family finances may include:

• Less income due to missed work
• Inability to pay down credit card bills
• Increased credit card charges to cover living expenses
• Expenses related to drinking or alcohol-related activities (i.e., clubbing or gambling)
• Late fees or penalties due to late payments
• Hospital bills from alcohol-related health problems

Alcoholism & Marriage Problems

Trust, communication, and emotional intimacy can be severely impaired when one spouse struggles with alcoholism. Alcoholism in marriage can manifest in various ways, including frequent arguments, emotional distance, and a decline in overall marital satisfaction.²

The destructive behaviors associated with alcoholism, such as lying, neglecting responsibilities, or engaging in risky behaviors, can strain the marital bond and erode the foundation of trust and mutual respect. Over time, alcoholism can lead to a breakdown in the marriage, with some couples choosing separation or divorce. In fact, one survey revealed that marital dissolution rates were 48.3% in alcohol-afflicted relationships compared to 30.1% in those without.³

In some cases, alcoholism in marriage may lead to codependence. Here, an individual becomes excessively reliant on their partner for their self-worth, identity, and emotional well-being.⁴ In a codependent relationship, there is typically an imbalance of power, with one focusing on caring for the other partner, often at the expense of their own needs and boundaries. Codependence in a marriage affected by alcoholism often manifests in specific ways.

Common signs and behaviors associated with codependency in alcoholic relationships include:

• Enabling behavior
• Neglecting personal needs
• Control and rescue attempts
• Emotional dependency
• Fear of conflict and loss
• Neglecting boundaries

Effects of Alcoholism on Children

Children raised by alcoholic parents often develop problems with conduct, development, socialization, and addiction.⁵ Growing up in an alcohol-filled household has a lifelong effect on children, possibly changing or shaping their perception of themselves and the world. They feel guilty and blame themselves for their loved one’s dependence.

Possible effects of alcoholism on children include:⁶

• Anger: Children may feel agitated and irritated by the dependent parent and the parent who may enable the dependence
• Anxiety: Kids may constantly worry that the alcoholic family member may become sick, injured, or violent. These fears may contribute to childhood anxiety.
• Confusion: A home run by alcoholic parents lacks stability and is unpredictable. A child may be confused by what is transpiring around them or how to avoid backlash from the dependent family member.
• Depression: Children raised in alcoholic households may feel lonely and hopeless about the situation, possibly leading to childhood depression.
• Detachment: Children may detach themselves from their feelings or dissociate to cope with stress.
• Distrust: Alcoholic family members are often unreliable. Kids may sense they cannot rely on anyone based on previous disappointing experiences with their parents or caregivers due to alcohol use.
• Embarrassment: Children may believe that alcohol dependence is an embarrassing secret to keep and be ashamed to invite friends over or ask for help.
• Poor academic performance: Children affected by alcoholism may struggle academically due to the emotional and psychological turmoil caused by living in a household affected by alcohol abuse. They may face difficulties with concentration, attendance, and overall academic achievement.
• Engaging in risky behavior: Growing up in an environment where alcoholism is present can increase the likelihood of children engaging in risky behaviors, such as substance abuse, reckless driving, or unsafe sexual practices. They may perceive these behaviors as normal or use them as coping mechanisms.
• Aggressive or violent behavior: Children of alcoholics may exhibit aggression or violent behavior because of the stress, instability, and conflict they experience at home. Parental alcoholism can contribute to difficulties in managing emotions and interacting with others in a healthy and non-violent manner.
• Suicidal thoughts or actions: The emotional toll of living in a household affected by alcoholism can contribute to higher rates of suicidal thoughts or actions among children, as they may feel overwhelmed, hopeless, or have a distorted perception of themselves and their future.
• Problems with forming relationships: Children who grow up with an alcoholic parent may face challenges with healthy relationships due to trust issues, difficulties with emotional intimacy, and a lack of positive relationship models. They may struggle with vulnerability and have difficulty establishing and maintaining meaningful connections with others.⁷

Alcoholism & Domestic Abuse

Alcoholism in families may also result in acts of domestic abuse. Alcohol affects cognitive and physical functioning, which leads to poor self-control and acts of violence. Studies report that 92% of domestic violence victims report alcohol use as a contributing factor to their experiences.⁵ Families of alcohol users may also encounter increased abuse, such as verbal insults, manipulation, humiliation, and emotional/physical abuse.²

Alcoholism & Expecting Mothers

The effects of alcoholism on families reach further than its members, friends, and acquaintances. Alcohol-related health conditions also impact unborn babies, with fetal alcohol syndrome (FAS) affecting 0.2 to 1.5 infants out of 1,000 births.⁷ Babies born with FAS are affected by physical disabilities, physical problems, and learning disabilities that can affect them as adults.

There is no safe way to drink when trying to get pregnant or during pregnancy. All forms of alcohol are dangerous to an unborn child, including beer, wine coolers, and wine. Brain growth takes place during the entire pregnancy. The sooner you stop drinking alcohol, the better it will be for your unborn child.

How Alcoholism Affects Physical & Mental Health

Alcoholism significantly impacts both physical and mental health. It is well established that alcohol can detrimentally affect the body, leading to liver damage, cardiovascular problems, weakened immune system, and increased risk of various illnesses.⁸ Prolonged alcohol abuse ultimately reduces the quality of life and potentially shortens lifespan.

In addition to the physical consequences, living with an alcoholic can also take a toll on mental health. Families affected by alcoholism often experience high levels of stress, anxiety, and emotional turmoil.⁹ The unpredictable behavior and instability caused by alcohol abuse can lead to feelings of fear, sadness, and confusion among family members. Moreover, the emotional and psychological impact of living with an alcoholic can contribute to mental health disorders such as depression, anxiety disorders, and even substance abuse issues in family members.

How to Cope With the Effects of Alcoholism on Families

Professional help is a crucial factor in recovery for everyone touched by alcoholism. In addition to teaching coping skills, local resources can provide housing, employment, childcare, healthcare, and legal services.

Family counseling/therapy can help you learn how to better communicate with each other, build a strong bond of trust, and create a more stable home environment. Support groups are also helpful as you begin to understand you are not responsible for the actions and behaviors of your loved one. Consider using an online therapist directory to locate a therapist near you to begin your healing journey.

Getting Help for an Alcoholic

If your loved one has a problem with alcoholism, finding help for them is not your decision. They must want treatment themselves, which requires them to realize their drinking habits are an issue. Due to increased tolerance, your family members may not recognize this problem until they experience legal trouble, physical injuries, or job impairment.

Mental health professionals, such as counselors, psychologists, psychiatrists, and clinical social workers, can guide your loved one to the best recovery approach, answering questions about in-patient or outpatient treatment.

Heavy drinkers may require in-patient detox to help deal with alcohol withdrawal symptoms. Generally, these programs offer individual and group psychotherapy, possibly combined with family sessions. Some people may join a peer-led program such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or Self-Management and Recovery Training (SMART).

Final Thoughts

Alcoholism continues to affect families until the person is ready to reach out and get help. However, waiting for that to happen is not your only choice. What you are dealing with is unique to you. You are not alone, and there are things you can do to get help.