The Angry Drunk: How Alcohol & Aggression Are Connected

What Is the Connection Between Alcohol & Anger?

Alcohol and anger are closely connected, and that connection can become even more pronounced when someone drinks excessively. Alcohol lowers inhibitions, making it harder to regulate emotions and reactions. For some, this means feelings of frustration or anger can surface more easily, leading to aggression or rage. Understanding this link can help explain why some people become “angry drunks” and how alcohol impacts emotional control.

Here are six reasons drinking alcohol can lead to anger:

1. Alcohol lowers inhibitions: Alcohol impacts the brain’s prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for decision-making and self-control. When inhibitions are lowered, people may express anger or frustration more freely, even in situations where they would typically stay calm. This can result in impulsive behavior, where emotions like anger surface without the usual mental filtering.¹
2. Alcohol increases emotional reactivity: Alcohol interferes with the balance of neurotransmitters in the brain, particularly serotonin, which helps regulate mood and emotional responses. This can make it harder to feel calm or collected, and instead, negative emotions like anger are more likely to surface.²
3. Alcohol impairs judgment: Alcohol can impair judgment and social cues, making it harder to interpret situations accurately. People may perceive neutral or friendly interactions as hostile or offensive, which can spark unnecessary conflict. The impaired judgment also makes it more difficult to consider the consequences of angry actions.
4. Alcohol is only a temporary stress and anxiety relief: Some people use alcohol as a way to cope with stress and anxiety. While alcohol can initially offer temporary relief, it often exacerbates underlying emotional problems, including anger, as the effects wear off.
5. Alcohol can disrupt communication: Alcohol can make it difficult for people to express their emotions clearly. Misunderstandings or the inability to articulate feelings can result in frustration, which may escalate into anger. Additionally, people under the influence may not listen well or react appropriately in conversations, worsening conflicts.
6. Alcohol exposes suppressed emotions: Individuals may use alcohol to numb unresolved trauma or repressed anger. However, alcohol often causes these emotions to resurface in unhealthy ways, leading to outbursts of anger or aggression. Without proper coping strategies, alcohol can act as a trigger that brings these buried emotions to the surface unexpectedly.

What Makes Someone More Prone to Becoming An Angry Drunk?

People who already struggle with controlling their temper or act impulsively are more vulnerable to becoming an angry drunk. Alcohol weakens the brain’s ability to regulate behavior, often exaggerating these traits and increasing the likelihood of aggression. It also disrupts how we process emotions, so for someone already feeling stressed, frustrated, or carrying unresolved issues, alcohol can intensify their negative feelings. This emotional vulnerability makes it easier for anger to surface, leading to outbursts or aggressive reactions.

In some cases, there may be a genetic predisposition to becoming an angry drunk. Certain individuals are more likely to react to alcohol with aggression due to how their body and brain chemistry respond to alcohol. This doesn’t mean everyone with these genes will become aggressive when they drink, but it does suggest that some people may have a higher likelihood of alcohol-induced anger because of their genetic makeup.³

How to Deal With an Angry Drunk

Dealing with an angry drunk can be challenging and requires careful handling to prevent escalation and ensure everyone’s safety. The key is to manage the situation in a way that keeps everyone safe, while also trying to de-escalate the tension by staying calm, using soothing language, and avoiding confrontation. Being prepared to seek help, either from others around you or professionals, is also important if the person’s behavior becomes too threatening to manage on your own.

Here are some strategies that can help you manage the situation effectively:

• Avoid reacting emotionally: When someone is intoxicated and angry, it’s easy to get pulled into an emotional reaction. However, responding with anger can escalate the situation. Try to stay calm and avoid getting defensive, reminding yourself that their anger is likely influenced by alcohol, and it’s not the right time for a productive conversation.
• Maintain physical distance: Keeping physical space between you and the angry person helps protect your safety and reduces the likelihood of escalating conflict. If they’re getting too close or their body language feels threatening, take a few steps back to create a safe distance without making it feel confrontational.
• Set boundaries:  Let the person know what behavior is unacceptable, and be firm about it. For example, you can say, “I’m not willing to engage with you while you’re yelling.” Setting boundaries helps protect you and makes it clear that certain behaviors won’t be tolerated.
• Don’t try to reason with them: When someone is drunk, their ability to reason and process information is impaired. Trying to have a logical conversation won’t be effective and may only frustrate both of you. Save any meaningful discussions for when they’re sober and in a better state of mind.
• Use a calm tone and language:  Speaking calmly and using non-threatening language can help defuse the situation. Angry drunks are more likely to respond poorly to aggressive or accusatory tones. Keep your voice steady and neutral to avoid further escalating their emotions.
• Get help if needed: If the situation feels unsafe or is escalating beyond what you can handle, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. This could mean contacting a trusted friend, family member, or even law enforcement if the person becomes violent or dangerous.
• Remove alcohol access: If possible, limit their access to more alcohol to prevent further intoxication. This might mean removing bottles from the room or asking others not to offer more drinks. While it won’t sober them up immediately, it can help prevent the situation from worsening.
• Leave if necessary: If the situation continues to escalate or you feel unsafe, leaving the environment might be the best option. Removing yourself from the situation protects your safety and prevents you from becoming more entangled in the conflict. You can revisit the conversation once things have calmed down.
• Talk when they are sober: Any meaningful conversation about their behavior should wait until they’re sober. Once they’re in a clear-headed state, you can address how their drinking and aggression are affecting you and the relationship. This is when they’re more likely to understand the consequences of their actions.
• Suggest professional help: If anger and aggression when drinking are ongoing issues, it may be time to suggest professional help. This can include therapy, anger management, or support groups for alcoholism. Offering to help them find resources shows that you’re supportive but also serious about them addressing the problem.

Free Worksheets for Navigating Challenging Relationships

This collection of worksheets offers practical tools and exercises to help you navigate challenging relationships and unwanted behaviors, and protect your well-being. The aim is not to fix the relationship but to empower you to create healthier responses, prioritize your well-being, and take control of your life. Download the one you need or download the complete workbook here.

Complete Workbook Download

Recognizing Toxic Behavior Download

Setting Healthy Boundaries Download

Self-Care Inventory Download

Setting SMART Goals Download

Personal Strengths Inventory Download

How Anger & Alcohol Contribute to Domestic Violence

According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA), alcohol plays a role in about 55% of domestic violence cases in the U.S., showing just how closely linked alcohol and aggression can be.³ Drinking lowers self-control and judgment, which often brings out anger and makes it worse. For example, a small argument can quickly get out of hand because alcohol heightens emotions and clouds good judgment. When anger and alcohol come together, they create a risky mix where minor conflicts are more likely to turn physical.

Research also shows that violence involving alcohol often follows a pattern, where regret is common but the same abusive behavior happens again. This cycle hurts the health and emotional well-being of everyone involved, and the damage can be long-lasting, especially for children. When kids witness or experience domestic violence, it can lead to fear, anxiety, and trouble trusting others as they grow up.³

How To Stop Being Aggressive When Drinking

If you struggle with aggression when drinking, it’s crucial to address both the behavior and its underlying causes. By focusing on anger management and understanding your relationship with alcohol, you can reduce aggression and improve your emotional well-being, making drinking a more controlled experience.

Here are some effective strategies to regain control and manage anger while drinking:

• Identify what sets off aggression: Reflect on the situations, people, or emotions that tend to trigger anger when you drink. Are you more aggressive in specific environments or after a certain number of drinks? Knowing your triggers is the first step to managing your reactions and avoiding unnecessary conflict.
• Set clear boundaries before drinking: Decide ahead of time how much you’ll drink and stick to that limit. Setting boundaries might also mean choosing not to drink in certain situations that tend to fuel aggression. Having a plan before you start can help you stay in control.
• Practice mindful drinking: Pay attention to how alcohol affects your mood and behavior as you drink. Pause between drinks, and check in with how you’re feeling. Practicing mindfulness when drinking can help you stay aware of when you’re reaching a point where anger may surface.
• Consider socializing without alcohol: Sometimes, removing alcohol from the equation is the easiest way to prevent alcohol-fueled incidents. Try going alcohol-free at gatherings or social situations to help reduce the risk of aggression. If your current social circle drinks a lot, you may want to put energy into making new sober friends.
• Address underlying issues: Aggression often has deeper roots, such as unresolved stress, trauma, or emotional pain. Identifying and addressing these underlying issues can reduce the tendency to become aggressive when drinking. Therapy can be a helpful tool for working through these challenges.
• Explore anger management techniques: Learn techniques to manage your anger, such as deep breathing, taking a pause, or removing yourself from heated situations. Practicing these skills in non-drinking environments can make it easier to apply them when alcohol is involved.
• Make some simple lifestyle changes: Adopting a healthier lifestyle, including regular exercise, stress-reducing activities, and improved sleep patterns, can positively impact mood and contribute to better emotional regulation.
• Enlist friends or a partner for support: Let trusted friends or your partner know you’re working on managing your aggression when drinking. Having someone in your corner can help keep you accountable and give you a gentle reminder if you start to get upset.
• Join support groups: Consider joining a support group like Alcoholics Anonymous or anger management groups where you can connect with others who share similar experiences. Having a community of support can make a big difference in your journey toward healthier drinking habits.
• Seek professional support: If aggression when drinking is a frequent issue, seeking help from a therapist or counselor can be an important step. Professional support can help you understand the root of your anger, address any co-occurring issues, and develop healthier coping strategies.

How to Find Professional Support

Finding professional support for anger and alcohol misuse is crucial for breaking the cycle of destructive behavior. Start by exploring a local therapist directory, where you can filter professionals specializing in anger management and substance abuse. Alternatively, online therapy services provide convenient access to licensed therapists who can help you develop coping strategies. Additionally, apps like Reframe and I Am Sober provide resources to track your progress, connect with a supportive community, and manage cravings, making it easier to stay on the path to recovery.

Treatment Options for Aggression While Drinking

• Talk therapy: Talk therapy helps you dig deeper into the root causes of your anger. By understanding where your anger comes from—whether it’s related to stress, past trauma, or emotional triggers—you can develop healthier ways to cope when drinking. A therapist can also provide strategies to manage your emotions more effectively, reducing aggressive reactions while under the influence.
• Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT): CBT teaches you how to identify and reframe negative thought patterns that contribute to anger, especially when drinking. For example, if you tend to get aggressive when you feel disrespected while drinking, CBT for anger can help you challenge those automatic thoughts and respond in a calmer way. This type of therapy promotes long-term changes in behavior by giving you tools to prevent anger from spiraling out of control.
• Anger management classes: Structured anger management programs provide practical techniques to handle anger in real-time. These classes focus on building skills like deep breathing, assertive communication, and conflict resolution, which are useful when alcohol lowers your inhibitions. By practicing these strategies, you’ll have better control over your anger when drinking, preventing outbursts before they happen.
• Family therapy: Including family members in therapy helps address any relationship tensions that may trigger anger when you drink. By improving communication and resolving conflicts with loved ones, family therapy creates a supportive environment where your anger is less likely to surface. It also helps your family understand your struggles, which can encourage more understanding and patience during difficult moments.
• Substance abuse treatment programs: These programs offer a comprehensive approach to managing both alcohol use and anger. If your aggression is linked to alcohol dependence, a substance abuse treatment program can help you cut back on or stop drinking entirely, which in turn reduces opportunities for alcohol-fueled anger. These programs also provide tools for managing emotions, helping you develop healthier responses to frustration or anger when sober or drinking less.