Emotional Outbursts & How to Manage Them

What Is an Emotional Outburst?

Emotional outbursts are intense, uncontrolled displays of emotions that often go beyond regular expressions of anger, sadness, or frustration. These outbursts typically involve a sudden and explosive release of pent-up anger or other feelings, causing individuals to lose control over their emotional responses. They may manifest as shouting, uncontrollable crying, or physical actions like slamming doors or breaking objects.

What sets emotional outbursts apart from typical expressions of emotions is their intensity, unpredictability, and the sense of overwhelm that accompanies them. While regular expressions of anger, sadness, or frustration are often more controlled and proportional to the situation, emotional outbursts tend to be disproportionate, and people experiencing them may struggle to articulate their feelings.

Symptoms associated with being unable to control emotions include:¹

• Difficulty in expressing emotions: Someone may find it challenging to openly express their feelings, leading to emotional suppression or a tendency to hide their genuine emotions.
• Frequent mood swings: Unpredictable shifts in mood, from extreme highs to lows, can be a sign of emotional instability.
• Overreacting to triggers: Even minor stressors can lead to exaggerated emotional reactivity, such as intense anger or overwhelming sadness.
• Chronic anxiety: An inability to manage emotions can lead to chronic anxiety, as someone may constantly worry about having an outburst.
• Physical symptoms: This may include tension headaches, stomachaches, or other stress-related physical ailments resulting from emotional turmoil.
• Difficulty in building relationships: The inability to control emotions can strain personal and professional relationships, as others may find it challenging to connect with someone whose emotional reactions are unpredictable.
• Low self-esteem: People who struggle to control their emotions often experience feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem, as they may perceive themselves as emotionally unstable.
• Substance abuse: Some people may turn to substances like alcohol to cope with their emotional difficulties.
• Isolation: To avoid emotional triggers and embarrassing outbursts, someone may withdraw from social interactions, leading to social isolation.
• Impaired decision-making: Emotional instability can impair one’s ability to make rational decisions, as emotions may cloud judgment and lead to impulsive actions.

Examples of Emotional Outbursts

Emotional outbursts often result from situations that overwhelm someone’s emotional coping capacity. Stressors like financial difficulties, relationship conflicts, work pressures, and personal setbacks can trigger these outbursts. Feeling unheard or misunderstood in high-stakes conversations can further ignite emotional eruptions. These scenarios create a tipping point where emotions escalate beyond control.¹ Someone may also express these intense emotions in a public setting, which can be embarrassing or disruptive.

Some examples of emotional outbursts in adults include:

• Yelling and screaming: Raising one’s voice and shouting uncontrollably
• Crying uncontrollably: Sobbing and weeping without the ability to stop or regulate the tears
• Verbal aggression: Engaging in harmful or offensive language during a heated argument
• Throwing objects: Throwing items in anger or frustration, often resulting in damage
• Physical aggression: Resorting to physical violence, such as hitting, pushing, or slapping in the heat of the moment
• Incoherent speech: Speaking rapidly or incomprehensibly due to overwhelming emotions
• Silent treatment: Refusing to communicate or shutting down emotionally, or giving people the silent treatment as a response to distress
• Withdrawal: Isolating oneself and retreating from social interactions to cope with emotional turmoil
• Emotional shutdown: Becoming emotionally numb and unresponsive, often as a defense mechanism against overwhelming feelings

Emotional Outburst Causes

Emotional regulation is not an inborn trait but a skill that is developed over time. Infants and young children react instinctively to their emotions, displaying raw and unfiltered responses. As they grow, they gradually learn to manage their emotions through guidance from caregivers and societal norms. However, not everyone undergoes this learning process effectively. Some people might become easily triggered in certain situations, as they haven’t developed the coping mechanisms to navigate strong feelings. It’s essential to recognize that emotional regulation is a learned skill, and providing support and education can help those who find it challenging to manage their emotions effectively.¹

Emotional dysregulation refers to difficulty effectively managing and modulating one’s emotions. When individuals experience emotional dysregulation, they may find it challenging to navigate their feelings, leading to heightened emotional responses. Emotional dysregulation often involves difficulty recognizing, understanding, or appropriately expressing emotions, making it more likely for individuals to react impulsively and excessively in certain situations.²

Common reasons people experience emotional dysregulation, and therefore emotional outbursts, include:

Psychiatric Conditions

A lot of psychiatric conditions cause imbalances in brain chemistry and neurotransmitters that can disrupt emotional control, leading to intense mood swings and emotional outbursts.

Emotional dysregulation is prevalent in various psychiatric disorders, such as:

• Anxiety
• Depression
• Bipolar disorder
• Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)
• Adjustment disorders
• Autism
• Personality disorders
• Oppositional defiant disorder
• Psychosis

Childhood Trauma

Experiencing childhood trauma, such as abuse, neglect, or witnessing violence, can leave a lasting impact on emotional regulation. These traumatic experiences can trigger a heightened state of arousal, making it difficult to manage emotions effectively, often resulting in impulsive outbursts.

Substance Abuse

The problematic use of drugs or alcohol can impair one’s ability to regulate emotions, often leading to impulsive and erratic outbursts when under the influence or experiencing withdrawal.

Neurological Conditions

Certain neurological disorders, such as epilepsy, traumatic brain injuries, and strokes can disrupt the brain’s regulation of emotions, causing unpredictable emotional responses.

Chronic Stress

Prolonged exposure to toxic stress can overload the body’s stress response systems, making someone more prone to emotional dysregulation and outbursts as their emotional resources become depleted.

Hormonal Imbalances

Fluctuations in hormones, such as during menopause or in conditions like premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), can trigger emotional dysregulation and result in intense emotional outbursts.

Poor Sleep

Changes in the quality and amount of sleep can lead to heightened emotional arousal, meaning outbursts are more common when sleep is not regulated. Additionally, poor sleep can make a person more sensitive to stressful triggers, like interpersonal conflicts and increased workload.³

Studies show sleep plays an important role in emotion regulation. Poor sleep is linked to emotional reactivity and decreased social functioning, which are both factors in emotional outbursts. Positive events are shown to feel less beneficial and negative events feel increasingly distressing when sleep is poor.³

Common Triggers of Emotional Meltdowns

Lack of eating and sleeping can lead to negative physical impacts, which can trigger emotional meltdowns. Other environmental factors include feelings of overwhelm, major life changes, and unresolved relational conflicts. Additionally, certain medical conditions are triggers for emotional outbursts.

Common triggers of emotional outbursts include:

• Being too tired: Studies show links between poor sleep and lack of emotion regulation.³ When someone is sleep deprived they are more likely to have emotional outbursts than when they are fully rested.
• Being hungry: Hunger impacts emotional regulation through hormone imbalance and dysregulated blood sugar levels. Essentially, when the body is overwhelmingly hungry, the brain lacks the energy and capacity needed to regulate emotions.
• Feeling overwhelmed: When a person is overwhelmed, especially by sensory stimuli in the environment, the emotional part of the brain may feel heightened. This is often accompanied by the reasoning part of the brain being less accessible, leading to risk of feeling more prone to emotional outbursts.
• Going through a major life event: Humans are hardwired for routines and familiarity. Major life changes, like switching jobs, moving, or beginning or ending relationships, can trigger emotional outbursts in people who are vulnerable.
• Experiencing unresolved relationship issues: When relational issues are left unresolved, a person may have lingering thoughts and feelings that trigger emotional outbursts. Feelings such as irritation or sadness about the relational issues may intensify into feelings of rage or depression.
• Misophonia: Misophonia is the decreased tolerance to certain sounds.⁴ Studies show that aggressive outbursts are linked to misophonia when people blame others for their discomfort, feel anxiety, or feel disgust related to the noises of others.⁴

Do You Struggle With Emotional Outbursts?

If you’re wondering whether you have a problem regulating your emotions, think back on how you respond to the stressors in your life—do you blow up at others around you? Do you shut down emotionally and give your loved ones the silent treatment? If you’re consistently struggling to keep yourself from a meltdown, you might want to talk to a therapist.

Here are several questions to ask yourself if you think you may struggle with emotional outbursts:

• How do I act when I feel unheard or misunderstood in a conversation?
• How do I cope when I feel I have failed at something important?
• How have I coped with past experiences of grief?
• How do I treat others when I am sick or in pain?
• When someone important to me breaks my trust, how do I approach handling conflict?
• If I have experienced or witnessed discrimination, how do I choose to advocate for myself and others?
• How have I coped with unexpected financial stressors?
• How do I cope with the irritation of having a restless or sleepless night?
• If I struggle with phobias, how have I handled the distress when I am unable to avoid my feared situation?
• When I am confronted with overwhelming news or information which forces me to change long-standing beliefs, how do I react?

How to Control Emotional Outbursts

People struggling to manage their anger can significantly benefit from developing emotional resilience and employing effective coping strategies. Positive coping mechanisms, such as deep breathing, mindfulness, and communication skills, provide essential tools for redirecting intense emotions. With these skills, you can not only diffuse anger but also cultivate a more balanced and composed approach to difficult situations, ultimately improving your overall well-being and relationships.⁵

Here are 10 coping strategies you can implement to control emotional outbursts and better learn to regulate your emotions:

1. Identify & Address Your Emotional Triggers

Identifying and addressing emotional triggers for your outbursts can help you plan for how to cope. Some triggers may be easily minimized, while others may be important to learn to tolerate. For example, you may easily be able to ensure you have a good sleep routine, while ignoring expected work obligations is not realistic. Tracking the people, places, and situations which trigger emotional outbursts can help you and your treatment team plan for how to address your environment for recovery.

2. Don’t Ignore Your Negative Emotions

Sometimes people who have emotional outbursts use avoidance of their distressing thoughts and emotions to cope. Some level of distraction is healthy, especially in crisis situations where an emotional outburst is likely to occur. However, routinely suppressing negative thoughts and emotions often only leads to increased frequency and intensity of their occurrence. It is more helpful to develop strategies that help you practice identifying, acknowledging, and processing negative emotions.

3. Use Breathing Techniques

Breathwork exercises like deep diaphragmatic breathing are powerful tools for emotional control. Intentionally taking slow, measured breaths from the diaphragm, instead of shallow chest breaths, activates the parasympathetic nervous system to promote relaxation, lower stress, and help manage strong emotions. Box breathing during times of stress also offers relief, which involves inhaling for four counts, holding for four, and exhaling for four. Doing this for a few minutes reduces the emotional intensity and enables a more rational response to challenges.

4. Take a Break

In any triggering situation, removing yourself is crucial to prevent emotional outbursts. At work, if a colleague frustrates you, take a short break. In family gatherings, when tensions rise, excuse yourself for fresh air. With friends, calmly communicate your need for a moment alone. These respites help de-escalate emotions, reduce the chance of outbursts, and maintain healthier relationships.

5. Practice Self-Care

Self-care is vital for emotional control. Good nutrition supports brain function, while exercise releases endorphins, reducing stress. Getting adequate sleep helps process emotions. Combining all of these elements of self care strengthens mental health, enhances resilience to stress, and improves emotional management. Being present in the moment and observing thoughts without judgment fosters self-awareness and intentional responses to challenging situations.

6. Meditate

Meditation designed to address anger is a valuable tool for emotional control. One such practice is the “Loving-Kindness Meditation.” This meditation focuses on generating feelings of compassion and goodwill towards oneself and others. By cultivating empathy and understanding, it helps soften the intensity of anger. This practice encourages a shift from reactivity to responsiveness, allowing someone to calm their emotions, break the cycle of anger, and reduce the frequency of emotional outbursts.

7. Practice Active Listening

Actively listening to others can be a powerful tool for managing emotional outbursts. When you listen attentively, it not only demonstrates respect but also allows you to fully understand the other person’s perspective. This can defuse emotional tension and create an environment where conflicts can be resolved more calmly.

8. Set Boundaries & Be Assertive About Them

Establishing clear personal boundaries is essential for managing emotions. Communicate your limits and expectations with others, and be willing to express when you feel uncomfortable assertively. By respecting your boundaries and those of others, you can create healthier and more emotionally regulated interactions, reducing the chances of outbursts.

9. Spend More Time in Nature

Nature can serve as a helpful distraction from emotion dysregulation. Studies indicate that time in nature is linked to a host of positive benefits, including improved cognitive functioning, mental health, physical health, sleep, and brain activity.⁶ Experts have found that time in nature activates the parasympathetic nervous system, the part of the body responsible for feelings of calmness and relaxation.⁶

Spending time in nature can also offer a relational component that is beneficial to feelings of support and validation. Especially for someone who suffers from emotional outbursts, rebuilding positive connections with others can improve your self-esteem and perceived sense of support. You can decide whether to spend time in nature on your own, with a loved one, or with a group or community that shares similar interests.

10. Get Help From a Professional

Emotional outbursts can have multiple causes and intensities. It is important to seek the help of a professional to determine the cause of your emotional outbursts, especially if there is a medical condition which needs treatment prior or during seeking therapy. Additionally, if your emotional outbursts have caused physical harm to yourself or others, a professional can help tailor treatment to ensure safety while you learn new coping strategies.

When to Get Help for Emotional Dysregulation

When emotional outbursts are negatively impacting personal and professional life, it is time to seek professional treatment. Sometimes, emotional outbursts may need the help of a primary care provider, specialist, psychiatrist, and therapist for effective outcomes. It is important to seek a diagnosis from a trained professional before beginning treatment for emotional outbursts.

Here are several signs you may need to seek professional help for emotional outbursts:

• You have physically harmed someone during an emotional outburst
• You have threatened to hurt others during an episode, even if you do not actually take action
• You have hurt yourself or threatened to hurt yourself during an episode
• You are unable to hold a job or attend school due to episodes
• Your relationships are suffering because of emotional outbursts
• The episodes are happening more often or for longer lengths of time

Treatment Options for Emotional Outbursts

Emotional outbursts themselves are not a diagnosis but rather a notable symptom of underlying conditions. They can be indicative of a range of issues, including mood disorders like depression or bipolar disorder, anxiety disorders, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), or even emotional trauma. Understanding that emotional outbursts are a signal of deeper emotional or psychological struggles is crucial. Proper diagnosis and treatment are essential to address the root causes and help individuals develop healthier coping mechanisms, manage their emotions more effectively, and ultimately improve their overall mental and emotional well-being.⁷

Treatment options for learning to control your emotions include:

• Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT): DBT is a therapeutic approach that combines cognitive-behavioral techniques with mindfulness practices. It helps people identify and manage intense emotions, particularly in the context of borderline personality disorder. DBT teaches skills for emotional regulation, distress tolerance, and interpersonal effectiveness, providing effective tools to manage emotional outbursts and improve overall well-being.
• Cognitive behavior therapy (CBT): CBT for anger focuses on identifying and challenging irrational thought patterns and beliefs that contribute to anger and emotional outbursts. By changing these thought processes, people can learn to respond to triggering situations more rationally and calmly, reducing the intensity and frequency of their emotional outbursts.
• Medication: In some cases, medication may be prescribed to manage emotional outbursts, particularly when they are a symptom of an underlying mental health condition. Medications can help stabilize mood and reduce the intensity of emotional responses.
• Anger management programs: These structured programs offer education and skill-building techniques to help individuals understand and control their anger. Participants learn coping strategies, communication skills, and conflict-resolution techniques.
• Mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR): MBSR programs teach individuals how to cultivate mindfulness and resilience, helping them become more aware of their emotions and how to respond to them constructively. This can be beneficial for reducing emotional reactivity.
• Family therapy: Emotional outbursts can impact family dynamics. Family therapy can address these issues, helping both the individual and their loved ones learn effective communication, conflict resolution, and emotional regulation skills to improve relationships and reduce emotional turmoil.

Where to Find Professional Help for Emotional Outbursts

Finding the right therapist is a crucial step in managing your emotions effectively. Start by talking to your primary care doctor, as they can provide referrals to mental health professionals. You can also reach out to your insurance provider to see which therapists are covered under your plan. An online therapist directory is a valuable resource. These directories allow you to search for therapists in your area, filter by specialties, and read profiles to get a sense of their approach.⁸ You could also find an online anger management program, like the Anger Management Training Institute or Open Path.

When looking for a therapist, consider factors like their credentials, experience, and the type of therapy they practice (e.g., CBT, DBT). Most importantly, trust your gut – during your initial sessions, assess if you feel comfortable and supported. Remember that finding the right therapist may take some trial and error, and that’s okay. The right therapist will be a partner in your emotional well-being journey, helping you develop the skills and strategies to manage your emotions and lead a more balanced life.

How to Help a Child With Emotional Outbursts

Helping a child with emotional outbursts requires patience and understanding, especially since children are still learning how to regulate their emotions. Firstly, it’s crucial to create a safe and non-judgmental space where the child feels comfortable expressing themselves. Encourage open communication to understand the underlying causes of their outbursts, which can range from unmet needs to frustration. Offer emotional support and reassurance, helping them put words to their feelings.

Teaching simple emotional awareness techniques, like deep breaths or counting to ten, can provide practical tools for children to manage their emotions. Additionally, modeling healthy emotional regulation by managing your emotions constructively can serve as a powerful example. Consistency in routines and boundaries can also give children a sense of security, helping them gradually build emotional resilience. Ultimately, the goal is to guide them in developing emotional intelligence and self-regulation skills that will serve them well throughout life.⁹