Pent-up anger is typically a response to underlying feelings of unworthiness or resentment, resulting in destructive behaviors. If a person’s emotions explode, it’s often because it seems like there is no other way to release them. Fortunately, if you’re dealing with pent-up anger, you can cope effectively by talking to a therapist, increasing awareness, enhancing assertiveness skills, and practicing relaxation techniques.
What Is Pent-Up Anger?
Pent-up anger refers to internalized anger and emotions rather than external manifestations. Over time, failing to express feelings openly can become overwhelming, and built-up anger can lead to frustration, resentment, and bitterness. In some cases, holding in anger can result in violent outbursts.
Symptoms of Pent-Up Anger
Symptoms of pent-up anger can vary from person to person, but common signs include irritability, mood swings, and overreacting to minor irritations. Pent-up aggression and rage can negatively impact mental and physical health, sometimes contributing to increased anxiety, depression, headaches, muscle tension, or high blood pressure. Pent-up anger may also correlate to numerous types of anger disorders, such as intermittent explosive disorder (IED).
Common symptoms of pent-up anger include:
- Constantly feeling on edge
- Lashing out at others
- Becoming easily frustrated over little things
- Frequently criticizing loved ones or friends
- Feeling easily irritable
- Sleep disturbances
What Causes Pent-Up Anger?
Pent-up anger can stem from both external and internal factors. For example, a person may get mad at specific people or situations. Conversely, pent-up anger may relate to rumination on a hurtful memory or an internalized belief. For many individuals, it may result from learned behaviors and habits, miscommunication, or an underlying mental health issue.
Possible causes of pent-up anger include:
- Home environment: Individuals raised in dysfunctional environments that encouraged emotional suppression may internalize their anger rather than express it with others.
- Beliefs that anger is “bad”: Believing that anger is a negative and ‘taboo’ emotion can contribute to pent-up anger and aggression.
- Frustration with self: A person may feel frustrated with themself for many reasons. If they are uncomfortable sharing these feelings, their frustration can build up and become angry.
- Not knowing how to deal with anger: A lack of healthy coping strategies or anger management techniques can make it challenging for individuals to manage their emotions. They may subconsciously ignore their emotions instead of addressing them, resulting in pent-up anger.
- Depression or feeling sad: Evidence suggests that depression and anger are connected in various ways. Society often attributes sadness to weakness, and some individuals with depression may internalize symptoms to avoid appearing weak. This may contribute to pent-up anger, frustration, and irritability as they struggle to cope with their condition.
Impacts of Pent-Up Anger
With prolonged pent-up anger, specific parts of the nervous system remain activated. Subsequently, your blood pressure and heart rate increase, staying elevated for long periods. The strain on your body can create various health problems, like cardiovascular disease, hypertension, and a weakened immune system.1, 2, 3
Over time, allowing pent-up anger to remain unresolved can contribute to interpersonal conflicts, increased resentful feelings, self-harming behaviors, passive-aggressive responses, explosive reactions, and more. Furthermore, it can also lead to chronic stress, depression, and anxiety.1
While anger is not considered a disorder, it is a prominent symptom in numerous psychiatric conditions such as bipolar disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), trauma-related disorders, and more.4 Studies suggest that both symptoms of anger and unfavorable response to treatment increase when anger is present in these psychological conditions.5
11 Ways to Release Pent-Up Anger
We all possess the remarkable capability to train our brains to become more emotionally balanced.1 As such, there are effective methods to support yourself in positively expressing pent-up stress, frustration, and anger. Start by learning and using conflict-resolution skills, engaging in calming activities, and enhancing your social support.2
Below are 11 helpful ways to deal with pent-up anger:
1. Challenge Your Thoughts
Identify negative thoughts contributing to your anger and challenge them with more positive and realistic alternatives. For example, avoid telling yourself that you are a failure or will never achieve success if you make a mistake at work. Instead, remind yourself that everyone falls short sometimes, and mistakes are an opportunity for growth and improvement.
2. Write About Your Anger
Journaling can help you release pent-up emotions when struggling with anger. It allows you to put things into perspective and regulate any uncomfortable feelings.6 When writing about your suppressed anger, try to understand what is happening in your mind. Ask yourself why you may be burying angry emotions in the first place.
3. Communicate How You’re Feeling
Increasing respectful communication with healthy assertiveness and conflict resolution allows you to verbalize your feelings in controlled, constructive ways.1, 2, 7, 8 When communicating your frustrations, address the issues as they arise directly and respectfully. Utilize “I” statements, active listening, and empathy to find common ground or resolutions for the conflict.
Below are tips for communicating anger and frustration in healthy ways:
- Establish and enforce boundaries for yourself and others
- Use “I” statements, active listening, and empathy to manage interpersonal problems
- Examine the source of what may be causing the conflict
- Link feelings that relate to the conflict
- Identify the advantages of forgiveness and the disadvantages of holding on to anger
- Identify how the impact of the problem contributes to the conflict
- Work toward bringing finding common ground or a resolution to the conflict
4. Practice Relaxation Practices
Different relaxation exercises will calm your senses, giving you time and perspective to allow your angry feelings to subside.3 You can regularly practice relaxation techniques, not only to decrease your anger but also to promote long-term physical and emotional benefits.1
For example, progressive muscle relaxation is a self-soothing exercise that includes tensing and relaxing each muscle in your body. With practice, it can give you an instantaneous feeling of calm. Your awareness also heightens, allowing you to identify when you are tense.3
5. Use Deep Breathing Techniques
Deep breathing shifts your attention, helps clear your mind, and lets you overcome anger without neglecting it.3 Techniques included in mindful breathing and diaphragmatic breathing allow you to release tension from your body. Take time to focus on your breath, observe your thoughts without judgment, and promote relaxation–it can make a difference in how you express your anger.
6. Start a Mindfulness & Meditation Routine
Meditation and mindfulness routines ground you in the moment as you gain control of your emotions.1, 9 These also help you recognize negative thought processes associated with your pent-up anger, sit with your emotions, and change your relationship to these thoughts.
Like breathwork, meditation for anger helps calm the mind and reduce stress, allowing individuals to release pent-up frustration and anger. These practices involve focusing on the moment and observing your emotions without judgment. You can develop a greater sense of control over your emotions by learning to be more present and aware.
7. Reach Out to a Loved One
People with a supportive network are better equipped to deal with challenges like pent-up anger. Supportive connections are also an integral part of managing your struggles in the long term.3 When asking for support, be specific about what you need, and give feedback or show appreciation when appropriate.
8. Join an Anger Management Group
Anger management groups provide a safe and supportive environment for individuals to discuss their anger issues and learn healthy coping strategies. Members share their experiences and learn from others who struggle with similar issues. Consider searching for local groups to develop problem-solving skills, learn more about your emotions, and release pent-up anger.
9. Engage in a Physical Activity
Exercise and physical activity release endorphins and natural mood-boosting hormones. It can also provide a healthy outlet for anger because it can help reduce tension and anxiety. Try running, swimming, weightlifting, or any other activity that gets you moving. The sense of accomplishment gained may help you feel more rejuvenated and less angry.
10. Change Your Environment
Change your physical surroundings by rearranging your furniture or redecorating your office. You can also seek new calming experiences or activities. Take a walk in nature, spend time with friends, or stop by the grocery store. By changing your environment, you can gain a fresh perspective and identify new ways to manage your emotions.
11. Talk to a Therapist
Talking to a mental health clinician and entering individual therapy is an effective approach to addressing anger issues. Individual counseling provides one-on-one attention, allowing the therapist to assess your distinct anger response. Moreover, this sets the stage to create a validating environment to process your thoughts, feelings, and bottled-up frustrations.1
How Is Pent-Up Anger Treated?
Everyone has experienced situational surges of anger. However, if your pent-up anger is intense, frequent, or expressed inappropriately, you should seek professional help. Internalized anger can be especially problematic when other mental health or substance abuse disorders are present because these can increase negative outcomes.4
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) for anger can be an efficient intervention for individuals with pent-up anger.1, 3, 8, 10 A CBT-trained professional can help you reframe certain anger-triggering events, develop a renewed perspective, and respond to emotions in healthier ways. You can begin your search for a therapist with an online directory. This resource allows you to filter your preferences to choose a therapist.
Final Thoughts
If you struggle with pent-up anger, you are not alone. You can work through these feelings by seeking help from a therapist or reaching out to a trusted friend or family member. Doing so can dramatically improve your overall well-being and help you relate to those closest to you in a healthier way.
Pent-Up Anger Infographics
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