Fat Shaming: Examples, Effects & How to Cope

What Is Fat Shaming?

Fat shaming involves the criticism and harassment of overweight or obese people about their weight and/or eating habits to make them feel ashamed. The goal of fat shaming is to get them to lose weight, exercise more, and/or eat better.¹

What Is Fat Phobia?

Fat phobia is a fear of and/or discrimination towards people who are larger in size to the standards set by individuals and society. It also includes an aversion to people who are fat or obese and drives people to name-call, shame, and criticize people because of their body shape.

Does Fat Shaming Work?

Fat shaming does not “work;” in other words, it does not help encourage people to lose weight.³ The reverse effect is actually true: fat shaming often leads to weight gain.⁴

Where Does Fat Shaming Happen Most Often?

While fat shaming can happen anywhere, it occurs most commonly online. For example, you might experience or witness fat shaming and other forms of cyberbullying in online forums or on social media. Fat shaming is also common in relation to online groups that are heavily focused on thinspo, orthorexia, and body image.

Fat Shaming In the Doctor’s Office

Fat shaming, meaning weight discrimination, also occurs in the healthcare systems.² People often report that they avoid medical visits altogether because they feel like their symptoms will be dismissed or reduced to a need to lose weight. In addition, they report feelings of judgment, shame, and even rejection from their healthcare providers.

Examples of Fat Shaming

Fat shaming can present as bullying, teasing, criticizing, or shaming someone online and/or in-person. It can also be done indirectly through fat phobia, weight discrimination, or making negative judgments about someone’s character based on their appearance.

Here are five examples of fat shaming:

1. Social media: Weight stigma and fat shaming may be exacerbated in user-generated social media interactions.⁵ When people post photos of themselves at the beach or dressed up on social media, people are often in the comments section spewing hate and inciting shame. This is an example that exists all over social media, and the wave of the body positivity movement on social media is an attempted antidote.
2. Body shaming: Society puts pressure on how bodies “should” look and this could lead to body shaming of whoever falls outside the norm, including oneself. This can look like telling someone they should not wear a two piece bathing suit at the beach because they have belly fat. It is telling those people their bodies are unsightly as a way to shame them.
3. Obesity/weight stigma: The obesity stigma contributes to stereotypes that fat people are lazy, weak-willed, unsuccessful, lack self-discipline, have no will power, etc.⁶ The healthcare system is a big culprit of perpetuating this, as even today, many providers do not acknowledge all the ways in which body shape does not mean an unhealthy body, but the bias that exists in providers themselves. It’s important for medical providers to recognize the stigma and actively work to help someone with their symptoms regardless of their weight.
4. Weight discrimination: Similarly to the weight stigma, discrimination is a byproduct of the stigma; it often results in the rejection or exclusion of someone who is considered obese or overweight.
5. Fat phobia: This is fear (on both an individual and society level) of becoming fat and doing everything within one’s control to not gain weight. The fear of gaining weight because of societal standards of beauty leave people feeling they are less worthy. Women specifically are subjected to cruelty for their weight in greater proportions than men, despite many of these standards being set by them.

Why Do People Fat Shame?

Often when people shame others for anything, including fat shaming, it is a projection of a representation of an internal bias they have. When people are uncomfortable with the concept of fat or gaining weight, they can take that insecurity out on others by way of humiliating and shaming them. To those people, it’s an outlet and they have little self awareness of their own struggles with fat, weight and body image.

So much of what we see in society, social media, magazines, television, and Hollywood also perpetuate the standards of what is attractive, and those messages end up being the unspoken expectation. While many people don’t do it on purpose, due to the intrinsic nature of our fat phobic society, it can be a struggle to recognize that what we end up doing is fat shaming.

The Harmful Effects of Fat Shaming

The effects of fat shaming can lead to a variety of mental health disorders, such as anxiety, depression, and the development of eating disorders. Other effects include low self-esteem, negative body image, lack of confidence, and even the potential for suicidal ideation.

Here are six effects of fat shaming:

1. Low Self-Esteem

Fat shaming can lead to low self-esteem, which can result in feelings of worthlessness and contribute to negative self-talk or an unkind inner narrative. Low self-esteem leads you to question your value and worth.¹

2. Lack of Confidence

Similar to low self-esteem, a decrease in confidence will stop you from stepping outside of your comfort zone. Fat shaming, which often highlights your fears and insecurities, makes confidence plummet.

3. Negative Body Image

Negative body image happens when people have a lack of peace about their own body and the way it looks. You may feel a constant need to “improve” your body in order to ever love it.⁸

4. Depression

If you’ve been a victim of fat shaming, you may isolate yourself, which can lead to a depressive episode. Left untreated, depression can lead to suicidal ideation. If you’re experiencing this, seek help from a medical professional immediately.^9,10

5. Anxiety

The effects of fat shaming can increase symptoms of anxiety and cause you to become hypervigilant or fixated on avoiding social situations or any opportunity to experience fat shaming.

6. Eating Disorders

There are a variety of eating disorders that could develop as a result of fat shaming, including binge eating, anorexia nervosa, bulimia, and orthorexia.¹¹

Signs That You’re Fat Shaming

You may be fat shaming others without even realizing it. If you catch yourself quickly making comparisons about peoples’ bodies or teasing someone about their weight, you may be dealing with internalized fat phobia.

Signs that you might be fat shaming someone include:

• Making comments about someone’s body and calling it a joke
• Gaslighting people about their explanations around why they may be the weight they are; this is often experienced within the healthcare system
• Teasing someone about something they’ve shared related to their body that they’re insecure about
• Overt and covert judgments about a person’s body
• Quickly suggesting diets and making assumptions about why someone may be at the weight they are at
• Excluding someone because of their weight
• Frequently making comparisons to other people

How to Cope if You’ve Been Fat Shamed

You are not defined by your weight. If you’ve experienced fat shaming, give yourself time and space to process those difficult emotions, but don’t become consumed by them. To cope, have self-compassion, advocate for yourself, and develop a self-care plan.¹²

Here are six ways to cope if you’ve been fat shamed:

1. Educate yourself on resources and self-advocacy: The more awareness and education you have, the better you can communicate, and the more qualified support you can receive.²
2. Journal your emotions: When you take the time to journal or write out your thoughts and feelings, you give yourself space to process. Some suggestions for journaling include reflecting on your initial reactions, expressing what you want to say to the person that fat-shamed you, or writing a letter to yourself.
3. Develop a self-care plan: Self-care plans act as your overall “toolbox” of coping skills and ways to nurture yourself. Develop an emotional self-care plan with your therapist or healthcare provider.
4. Shift your mindset and inner narrative: Changing your inner narrative takes practice and conscious effort. Work to replace negative self-talk or negative self-belief with words of affirmation and encouragement. Daily positive affirmations are a great way to improve overall body image and self-esteem.
5. Confide in someone you trust: Talking to a trusted, non-judgmental friend or family member can help you feel better.
6. Listen to inspiring music: Listening to upbeat, inspiring music can help boost your mood. Create a playlist that helps you feel powerful and confident.

How Therapy Can Help You Develop a Positive Body Image

Therapy is a great way to cope with fat-shaming. To start your journey in finding a therapist, refer to an online therapist directory where you can filter for someone in your area who specializes in your specific needs. One recommendation is to select someone who is Health at Every Size (HAES)-certified or HAES-informed. HAES focuses on weight inclusivity, health enhancement, respectful care, eating for well-being, and life-enhancing movement.¹³

Final Thoughts on Fat Shaming

Fat shaming isn’t an effective method for weight loss. Honoring your body in every season of life takes a great deal of self-compassion, patience, and vulnerability, so surround yourself with people who support and love you exactly as you are. Consider joining a support group, talking to a therapist, or trying healthy coping mechanisms.