A quarter life crisis can be a real and challenging event for some. The population of people experiencing this crisis may feel like they are missing out on something. This can feel like a time when they are not sure where they belong and are wondering if they are going in the right direction. Some may question their purpose in life.
What Is a Quarter Life Crisis?
A quarter life crisis is a common experience (like a midlife crisis) as the transition from childhood to adulthood can come as a shock for many. It can leave you with feelings of helplessness, cluelessness, indecision and apprehension.1 Having a quarter life crisis, however, is normal.
A quarter-life crisis can feel like an identity crisis and an existential crisis wrapped into one big mess. You’re often trying to find out who you are at a time when you’re not even sure what that may look like. Having these thoughts can be overwhelming, making it difficult to know what is right for you.
The general age range for the quarter life crisis is the time period between adolescence and adulthood where people are faced with exploring their place in today’s society.2 People in their twenties begin to question themselves as they lack their self-identity and question their career choices.3 Individuals who are coming into their own may not feel ready to take on the world ahead.
People who experience a quarter life crisis face difficulties in their transition into adulthood.4 They may begin to judge themselves and compare themselves with their peers. This comparison leaves them feeling insecure or having regrets. This can feel like a time where they feel pressure to make a decision that may negatively or positively impact their future.
What Can Trigger a Quarter Life Crisis?
When someone enters the time where they are achieving milestones such as graduating and choosing careers, it may trigger a quarter life crisis. Emerging into adulthood brings many changes and many new firsts. Moving out and living alone as well as creating deeper relationships with others and making long term decisions can be scary and trigger strong negative emotions. Adult obligations such as marriage, parenthood, buying a home, and stable full-time work may also trigger a quarter life crisis.5
Events and feelings that can trigger a quarter life crisis include:
- Graduating college and wondering what’s next
- Career choices
- Commitment
- Marriage
- Full time job positions
- Living alone for the first time
- Experiencing loneliness
- Financial instability
- Hitting a big birthday milestone and feeling like you haven’t measured up to your peers
- Making major life decisions (like purchasing a home, paying off student loans, investing for retirement)
Signs of a Quarter Life Crisis
When you are at a point in your life where you are questioning every decision and you feel unsettled to the extent that it impacts you professionally and personally, you may be experiencing a quarter life crisis. Some changes you may be mindful of include distraction and not feeling like you are able to make a clear decision for yourself. You may feel like an outsider within your social circle and feel you lack the motivation to achieve your goals.
Some signs that you or a loved one may be experiencing a quarter life crisis include:
- Being indecisive
- Feeling lost
- Lack of interest
- Fear of missing out
- Feeling anxious
- Feeling depressed
- Questioning your life’s purpose
- Feeling disconnected from others
Can a Quarter Life Crisis Lead to Depression?
For some, a quarter life crisis can lead to depression. Some may become confused during this time and then resolve their confusion, and move forward with their lives. Others, however, may experience this time period as a more intensified event and may seek out therapy for some of the issues they may be experiencing.6 These individuals can experience panic attacks and depression as they feel alone and confused.6
High stress from experiencing a quarter life crisis has been found to cause depression in some along with many other problems, including addiction and anxiety.1 In one such study participants were found to experience hopelessness and confusion which triggered an unjustified emotional period.7
Individuals struggling with a quarter life crisis should contact trusted family and friends for a healthy outlet and support system. It should also be noted that individuals going through this challenging time should reach out to their healthcare providers and seek professional mental health therapy.
6 Tips for Dealing With a Quarter Life Crisis
Facing a quarter life crisis does not have to keep you stuck. You can learn to deal with your emotions and navigate through this time of transition. By being mindful of your responses to triggers you can start to understand the negative patterns that may need to change.
Here are six tips for dealing with a quarter life crisis:
1. Identify Your Triggers
When you take time to identify what makes you question yourself and feel unsettled you will start to understand how to feel more comfortable and reduce those feelings. If you start to realize your fears of not knowing what you want in life and whether or not you are making the right choices you can start to feel more comfortable. If you begin to notice your attitude towards these decisions and options for your life then you can begin to change them and replace them with positive ones.
When you start identifying that you are placing pressures on yourself to be at a certain point you can start to replace those with more rational thoughts. For example, you can change your thoughts of “I should be in a certain role in my career or “I should be married by now” then you can start replacing them with more realistic attitudes of “I am exactly where I want to be” and “I am going in the best direction for my life.”
2. Find What Makes You Happy
How do you know what really makes you happy? You first need to figure that out and can do so by being mindful when you feel happy in that moment. Taking note of this feeling can help you to identify what it is that brings you that happy feeling.
If you are focused on what you think you should be doing and comparing yourself with friends and family of the same age then you will miss out on what you really desire. Follow your passion and use that for motivation to reach your personal goals.
3. Incorporate Self-Care
Focusing on yourself through self-care will allow you to take time to get in tune with your thoughts and feelings. Having time to reset and organize your thoughts will help you to reduce any negative thoughts and to feel more confident in your decision making.
Practicing to implement more self-care such as a morning workout routine or a walk in the park can help you to feel more peace in life. Practicing to add this to your daily routine will help you to be more consistent. Eventually this will become a part of you and your day and will be something you start using to help you cope.
4. Create a Plan
When you are more relaxed and feeling calm, you can take time to establish a plan. Taking time to write out what you want in life can help you to feel closer to reaching those goals. Creating small goals each week will make it easier to attain and result in you finding the confidence to make decisions that are right for you.
Creating a plan can help you to feel more self-aware and dismiss any pressures to do what you think you should be doing. Once you have that plan, you can start to implement small steps to making changes that may help improve your attitude. If your attitude towards yourself becomes more positive then you will start to increase your self confidence in who you are and who you want to be.
5. Find Support
Finding support with friends and family will help you to feel validated. Having a healthy support system will allow you to feel secure in expressing your thoughts and feelings. When you are open and vulnerable other people may also share their feelings and you may start to realize you are not alone.
6. Seek Professional Help
When you come to the point where you say, ‘I just don’t know what else to do’, then you know it is time to seek professional help. Call your healthcare provider or find a therapist specializing in young adulthood. Share what you are experiencing so they know how to help you. An online therapist directory is a good place to start looking for a therapist.
If you feel like you don’t know where to begin, ask someone you trust. Finding the right resources will make the difference and help you to feel more confident in moving forward through this process.
When to Talk to a Therapist
If you are experiencing a period of anxiety and questioning the status of your future you may want to reach out to your primary care physician, a therapist or any other professional that you feel comfortable with.
Some signs you should talk to a therapist include experiencing:6, 8
- Anxiety
- Panic attacks
- Depression
- Changes in mood
- Short attention spans
- Poor focus
- Feelings of frustration
- Feelings of helplessness
- Feeling invisible
- Feeling like there is just no point
For many, the stress of living apart from family and other familiar support networks can lead to overwhelming emotional responses. 8 The stress that’s associated with making choices perceived as influencing your life path may start to impact your identity and social development.8 When someone struggles with their self-identity and does not feel they are ready to enter this next phase in their self-development it may leave them to feel they are not reaching their full potential.8
How to Find a Therapist
When you realize it is time to make positive changes in your life, choosing a therapist who works with young adults and can help with your specific needs is the best decision. Prioritizing yourself is important for self-care and healing. Once you identify what you want out of therapy and what your goals are, you can choose a therapist that best fits your needs.
Start thinking about the questions you may have before entering therapy to gain better insight into what to expect. Feeling comfortable from the beginning with your therapist will help you to become more vulnerable and be open to freely express yourself.
Final Thoughts
If you are experiencing a quarter-life crisis, know that it can get better. Going through this time in your life can feel lonely and scary, but recognizing these feelings is itself a first step. Using the techniques provided in this article can also help you start the process of healing and positive change. If you’re asking yourself, “Do I need therapy?” just remember that therapists are great at helping people discover their values, improve self-recognition, and develop healthy and effective coping skills. This can help build a strong foundation for reaching your personal and professional goals.
