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Separation Anxiety Disorder In Adults: Symptoms, Treatments, & How to Cope

Published: January 18, 2022 Updated: July 1, 2022
Published: 01/18/2022 Updated: 07/01/2022
Headshot of Silvi Saxena, MBA, MSW, LSW, CCTP, OSW-C
Written by:

Silvi Saxena

MBA, MSW, LSW, CCTP, OSW-C
Headshot of Rajy Abulhosn, MD
Reviewed by:

Rajy Abulhosn

MD
  • What Is Separation Anxiety?Definition
  • Symptoms of Separation Anxiety In AdultsSymptoms
  • Causes & Triggers of Adult Separation AnxietyCauses
  • Treatment of Separation Anxiety Disorder In AdultsTreatment
  • Coping With Separation Anxiety as an AdultHow to Cope
  • Final ThoughtsConclusion
  • Additional ResourcesResources
Headshot of Silvi Saxena, MBA, MSW, LSW, CCTP, OSW-C
Written by:

Silvi Saxena

MBA, MSW, LSW, CCTP, OSW-C
Headshot of Rajy Abulhosn, MD
Reviewed by:

Rajy Abulhosn

MD

Separation anxiety in adults refers to a great fear of being away from a loved one. Separation anxiety is common in children; however, adults can suffer from it too, often due to attachment issues from childhood. In children, it’s often in relation to a caregiver. In adulthood, it can be anxiety related to being separated from a loved one like a child or partner.

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What Is Separation Anxiety?

Separation anxiety disorder is a common anxiety condition diagnosed in children that can continue to persist throughout adolescence and into adulthood. Separation anxiety can also appear later in adulthood, but it’s usually related to attachment issues stemming from childhood.

Symptoms of Separation Anxiety In Adults

Separation anxiety in adults looks like a heightened state of anxiety that could include panic attacks when met with separation or the idea of separation from loved ones. It may include a refusal to honor boundaries and difficulty with eating and sleeping habits due to separation. Adults may find it hard to partake in daily activities and become withdrawn as a result. Some manifest their anxiety by having poor boundaries with children or partners.1

Symptoms of separation anxiety in adults include:2

  • Fear of being alone
  • Worries that a loved one will be hurt
  • Fear of being away from loved one
  • Depression
  • Physical pain
  • Headaches
  • General anxiety and agitation
  • Obsessive thoughts
  • Being withdrawn and isolated
  • Changes in sleep and eating habits
  • Mood swings
  • Restlessness
  • Muscle tension
  • Inability to focus

Causes & Triggers of Adult Separation Anxiety

There are several potential causes and triggers of adult separation anxiety, including developmental delays, a history of trauma, or the unexpected death of a loved one.

Here are several potential causes of adult separation anxiety:3

  • Abandonment
  • Relational conflict
  • Family history of anxiety
  • Forced separation
  • Neurological issues
  • Traumatic brain injury
  • Inconsistent caregivers
  • Codependency
  • Developmental delays or disturbances
  • History of trauma
  • Unexpected death of a loved one

How Attachment Affects Separation Anxiety

Having an insecure attachment style can predict adult separation anxiety disorder. Insecure attachment is often related to inconsistency during childhood, and that variability breeds fear and anxiety, leading to adult uncertainty about relationships.

Those with anxious insecure attachment styles often feel overwhelmed but also have a drive to feel safe. Additionally, anxiously attached adults often have a hard time deescalating emotions and may find it hard to maintain healthy boundaries. They may have a history of being abandoned in relationships and find themselves seeking approval or feeling overly sensitive or fearful in response to common relationship issues. Lastly, they may easily be triggered by conflict or sudden change.4

Treatment of Separation Anxiety Disorder In Adults

Thankfully, separation anxiety can be treated, usually with therapy. The approach to treatment will depend on the person’s history and the specific triggers of the anxiety.

Therapy

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is one of the most common types of therapy used to treat anxiety disorders. In CBT, the therapist helps you identify negative thought patterns that impact your behavior and emotions. By getting to the root of the thought, it empowers you to reshape your experience. When used consistently for two months, CBT can help relieve feelings of stress and anxiety.5,6

Mindfulness and formal meditation are often integrated into therapy due to their powerful anxiety-reducing capabilities.7 They help people learn to pull their attention away from unhelpful thoughts and be more present. Certain types of therapy like acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), Mindfulness-based CBT, and dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) utilize mindfulness as a method of emotional regulation.

For those who can identify a specific situation that caused their separation anxiety, solution-focused therapy can help. It’s often provided in 6-8 sessions (or fewer) and focuses on helping people find solutions to specific problems and stressors. Those with chronic anxiety problems may benefit from longer-term therapy, but solution-focused therapy helps more with situational stress or adapting to a specific life change.

Medication

Antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications are considered the most common forms of medication for separation anxiety. People respond differently to every type of medication, so it’s important to recognize that there is no “one-size-fits-all” option. You should always have medical supervision from a psychiatrist or primary care physician when starting, changing, or ending a medication regimen.8

Coping With Separation Anxiety as an Adult

Therapy often teaches supplemental methods of coping with anxiety that you can use all the time, even when you’re by yourself. During any given session, you’ll likely also learn about the poor coping mechanisms you may have used in the past that exacerbated or further triggered anxious thoughts, and learn better methods of emotional regulation.9

Healthy ways to cope with separation anxiety include:

  • Mindfulness meditation
  • Art therapy
  • Journaling
  • Narrative therapy
  • Yoga
  • Talking to loved ones about how you feel
  • Making actionable steps and goals to resolve problems

Final Thoughts

There are many ways to address and overcome challenges with adult separation anxiety, like talking to a therapist or reaching out to a trusted friend or family member can make an enormous difference in how you feel. Learning to manage and cope with anxiety can take time, but try to remember to have patience with yourself—healing is possible.

Additional Resources

Education is just the first step on our path to improved mental health and emotional wellness. To help our readers take the next step in their journey, Choosing Therapy has partnered with leaders in mental health and wellness. Choosing Therapy may be compensated for referrals by the companies mentioned below.

BetterHelp (Online Therapy) – BetterHelp has over 20,000 licensed therapists who provide convenient and affordable online therapy. BetterHelp starts at $60 per week. Complete a brief questionnaire and get matched with the right therapist for you. Get Started

Online-Therapy.com – Receive help for anxiety. The Online-Therapy.com standard plan includes a weekly 45 minute video session, unlimited text messaging between sessions, and self-guided activities like journaling. Recently, they added Yoga videos. Get Started

Brightside Health (Online Psychiatry) – If you’re struggling with anxiety, finding the right medication can make a difference. Brightside Health treatment plans start at $95 per month. Following a free online evaluation and receiving a prescription, you can get FDA approved medications delivered to your door. Free Assessment

Headspace (Meditation App) – Headspace is the leading mindfulness and meditation app with over 70 million members. Headspace offers guidance and exercises for all skill levels, including beginners. Free Trial

Choosing Therapy’s Directory – Find an experienced therapist specialising in anxiety. You can search for a therapist by specialty, availability, insurance, and affordability. Therapist profiles and introductory videos provide insight into the therapist’s personality so you find the right fit. Find a therapist today.

Choosing Therapy partners with leading mental health companies and is compensated for referrals by BetterHelp, Online-Therapy.com, Brightside, and Headspace

For Further Reading

  • Mental Health America
  • National Alliance on Mental Health
  • MentalHealth.gov
9 sources

Choosing Therapy strives to provide our readers with mental health content that is accurate and actionable. We have high standards for what can be cited within our articles. Acceptable sources include government agencies, universities and colleges, scholarly journals, industry and professional associations, and other high-integrity sources of mental health journalism. Learn more by reviewing our full editorial policy.

  • Gittelman, R., & Klein, D. F. (2019). Childhood separation anxiety and adult agoraphobia. Anxiety and anxiety disorders, 389-402.

  • Gesi, C., Carmassi, C., Shear, K. M., Schwartz, T., Ghesquiere, A., Khaler, J., & Dell’Osso, L. (2017). Adult separation anxiety disorder in complicated grief: an exploratory study on frequency and correlates. Comprehensive psychiatry, 72, 6-12.

  • Mabilia, D., Di Riso, D., Lis, A., & Bobbio, A. (2019). A prediction model for separation anxiety: the role of attachment styles and internalizing symptoms in Italian young adults. Journal of Adult Development, 26(4), 286-294.

  • Mikulincer, M., & Shaver, P. R. (2019). Attachment orientations and emotion regulation. Current Opinion in Psychology, 25, 6-10.

  • Pahlavanzadeh, S., Abbasi, S., & Alimohammadi, N. (2017). The Effect of Group Cognitive Behavioral Therapy on Stress, Anxiety, and Depression of Women with Multiple Sclerosis. Iranian journal of nursing and midwifery research, 22(4), 271–275.

  • Terp, U., Hjärthag, F., & Bisholt, B. (2019). Effects of a Cognitive Behavioral-Based Stress Management Program on Stress Management Competency, Self-efficacy and Self-esteem Experienced by Nursing Students. Nurse Educator, 44(1), 1-5.

  • Strauss, C., Gu, J., Pitman, N., Chapman, C., Kuyken, W., & Whittington, A. (2018). Evaluation of mindfulness-based cognitive therapy for life and a cognitive behavioural therapy stress-management workshop to improve healthcare staff stress: study protocol for two randomised controlled trials. Trials(19)209.

  • Bandelow, B. (2020). Current and novel psychopharmacological drugs for anxiety disorders. Anxiety Disorders, 347-365.

  • Joramo, I., Solem, S., Romundstad, B., & Nordahl, H. M. (2021). Change talk and sustain talk in treatment of generalized anxiety disorder: A secondary analysis of cognitive behavioral therapy and metacognitive therapy in adult outpatients. Journal of Behavior Therapy and Experimental Psychiatry, 72, 101650.

update history

We regularly update the articles on ChoosingTherapy.com to ensure we continue to reflect scientific consensus on the topics we cover, to incorporate new research into our articles, and to better answer our audience’s questions. When our content undergoes a significant revision, we summarize the changes that were made and the date on which they occurred. We also record the authors and medical reviewers who contributed to previous versions of the article. Read more about our editorial policies here.

  • Originally Published: July 27, 2021
    Original Author: Silvi Saxena, MBA, MSW, LSW, CCTP, OSW-C
    Original Reviewer: Rajy Abulhosn, MD

  • Updated: January 18, 2022
    Author: No Change
    Reviewer: No Change
    Primary Changes: Updated for Readability and Clarity.

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Headshot of Silvi Saxena, MBA, MSW, LSW, CCTP, OSW-C
Written by:

Silvi Saxena

MBA, MSW, LSW, CCTP, OSW-C
Headshot of Rajy Abulhosn, MD
Reviewed by:

Rajy Abulhosn

MD
  • What Is Separation Anxiety?Definition
  • Symptoms of Separation Anxiety In AdultsSymptoms
  • Causes & Triggers of Adult Separation AnxietyCauses
  • Treatment of Separation Anxiety Disorder In AdultsTreatment
  • Coping With Separation Anxiety as an AdultHow to Cope
  • Final ThoughtsConclusion
  • Additional ResourcesResources
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