16 Signs of Sociopathic Women & How to Respond

What Is a Sociopath?

A sociopath isn’t a formal clinical diagnosis. Instead, people with antisocial personality disorder may be called a sociopath if their behavior adversely affects others. Additionally, it’s common to hear this colloquial term used to describe characters in films, shows, or books.

How Are Female Sociopaths Different From Males?

Research shows that men are significantly more likely to be diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder than women. It’s currently a 3:1 ratio.¹ Therefore, women with sociopathic traits might be less obvious. For example, their sociopathic behavior might entail higher levels of emotional abuse or manipulation than physical violence. They might also be more likely to be diagnosed with histrionic personality disorder.

Sociopathic Traits / Signs More Common in Women & Men^1,2

16 Signs of Sociopathic Women

Sociopathy isn’t always obvious, and many people try to conceal their behavioral patterns to fit in with others or meet their needs. All personality disorders range on a diverse spectrum, so some symptoms may be more prevalent than others. Women with sociopathic traits, in general, tend to have more psychological difficulties than their male counterparts.

The following are 16 signs of sociopathic women:

1. Other Personality Disorders

Women with sociopathic traits may meet the criteria for a Cluster B personality disorder, such as narcissistic personality disorder, histrionic personality disorder, or avoidant personality disorder. People with these disorders have difficulties with relationships and emotion regulation. Even though they only represent a small percentage of the general population, many healthcare and legal settings have disproportionate numbers of clients meeting the criteria for these conditions.³

2. Manipulation

Manipulation refers to intentionally trying to influence others for personal gain and is a classic symptom of sociopathy. Someone with sociopathic traits may use manipulation tactics like denial, gaslighting, triangulation, projection, or generalization to meet their needs.

3. Desire to Be the Center of Attention

Some women with sociopathic traits act incredibly charming and enjoy socializing. But they often want the focus to be on them at all times. If they sense someone else has power or control, they often feel threatened and will become manipulative to restore their status quo.

4. Seductive Behaviors

Sociopathic women may try to seduce potential partners as part of their manipulation. They may flirt heavily, love-bomb people, and bribe others with sex to get what they want. However, these behaviors often have an abrupt endpoint. The women may withhold sex or suddenly act completely disinterested.

5. Uses Physical Appearance to Gain Attention

Sociopathic women may also rely on their physical appearance to impress or lure others in, especially if they are considered conventionally attractive. This is another way to gain attention or flirt with others. Some women may also use their appearance for “shock value.” For example, they might dress to stand out and look incredibly different from others.

6. Extreme Mood Swings

Sociopathy can pair with mood swings, and it may feel like you’re walking on eggshells while spending time together. At a given moment, the sociopath may seem happy and content. However, in the next moment, they are enraged, anxious, or upset, and you probably won’t really know what happened.

7. Anxiety & Depression

Women with sociopathic traits are also likely to meet the criteria for another mental health disorder, like depression or anxiety. These symptoms may ebb and flow based on several factors, including stress and overall functioning. Some women can hide their symptoms, but close loved ones might be able to better distinguish these mental health struggles.

8. Impressionistic Speech–Lacking Facts & Details

Research shows that sociopaths are more likely to speak in vague, grandiose terms. They might be talkative, but the words themselves lack true substance. Others may overlook this, especially if the sociopath is educated or highly functioning. But if you pay close attention, you’ll notice it’s hard for them to stay on topic, and their conversations tend to be more ambiguous in nature.⁴

9. Thinks Relationships Are More Intimate/Enduring Than They Are

It’s a misconception that people with sociopathic traits don’t want relationships. Many of them do. However, they deeply struggle with interpersonal connection, and they often become misguided in their efforts to build meaningful relationships with others. They might misread social cues or latch onto someone who offers them a semblance of love and attention. As a result, they might assume others are closer to them than they really are.

10. Risk-Taking

Sociopaths can be impulsive and driven to seek pleasure. These desires may cause them to disregard logic and act in ways that seem irresponsible. Risk-taking can also become tangled up with trying to manipulate others. For example, a woman might decide to blatantly engage in infidelity in her own home, hoping her partner gets home from work early and catches her.

11. Hostility

Sociopathic behavior results from poor emotional regulation skills. These people don’t know how to manage stress well, and they often lash out at others when they don’t get their needs met. As a result, they may present as extremely hostile at given moments.

12. Impulsivity

Impulsivity often coincides with sociopathy, as people may quickly react to external stress. Impulsivity can resemble reckless spending, unsafe sex, disordered eating, and drug/alcohol abuse. Sometimes, impulsive behavior acts as a way to quickly soothe distress and provide immediate relief.

13. Lying

Lying is also a classic symptom of sociopathy. It can include denial, omission, and exaggeration. A sociopath may also be a pathological liar, meaning telling lies is chronic, habitual, and compulsive. People who pathologically lie typically lie at least five times a day for more than six months.⁵

14. Entitlement

Sociopathy often goes hand-in-hand with entitlement. The woman believes she is inherently deserving of preferential treatment and often assumes she’s above the rules. This explains why so many people with sociopathic traits break or strongly bend the laws in their favor.

15. Covert Efforts to Sabotage

Sociopaths often try to sabotage the success and happiness of others. They often struggle to accept that someone else can have good things. And so, they might try to tear you down when you’re content or cause problems even when nothing is inherently wrong.

16. History of Shallow Relationships

People with sociopathic behavior often have long histories of unstable relationships. They often leave when things feel hard. Or, instead of really committing to others, they keep things relatively loose because they always want to have their options open. As a result, there is limited to no capacity for true intimacy.

What to Do if a Woman You Know Is a Sociopath

You may feel frustrated or frightened if you discover someone you know may be sociopathic. Remember that people with this issue may not readily seek treatment on their own. It’s often best to keep firm boundaries and avoid getting involved if possible.

Here’s how to deal with a sociopathic woman:

• Set boundaries: Set and implement clear limits and healthy boundaries for what you will and won’t tolerate. Aim to avoid sharing emotional information or spending too much time together.
• Recognize the signs of manipulation: Start looking for manipulation patterns. Having awareness can help you feel prepared if it happens again.
• Have a strong support system: Make sure that you have trusted loved ones you can reach out to for support.
• Don’t make excuses: Even if you love this person, don’t excuse their behavior. While they are not responsible for having a mental illness, they are responsible for their recovery.
• Keep yourself safe: If your physical safety is threatened, prioritize ensuring you get the help you need.
• Document concerns: If you are in the middle of a legal issue (or about to prepare for one) with this person, start documenting incidents and concerns as they occur in real-time.

When & How a Therapist Can Help

If you see traits of sociopathy in yourself, you’re not alone. It is possible to change your patterns and stop hurting yourself and others. Therapy can help you improve your behavioral responses and help resolve the underlying issues that caused (or currently maintain) the problem.

Therapy can be helpful if you feel you are being abused by a sociopath. It’s important to gain more clarity on your relationship and define your limits with this other person. Therapy also offers a supportive place to process your feelings and get support as you make these new changes.

In My Experience

In my experience, people with sociopathic traits aren’t always receptive to treatment. However, those who are motivated can change their patterns and improve their relationships. Likewise, being hurt by someone with sociopathic traits can be traumatic. If you’ve been hurt by someone like this, it’s important to seek the support you deserve to heal.