Why Do I Like Being Alone? 15 Possible Reasons

Is It Normal to Like Being Alone?

There is nothing wrong with wanting to spend time alone. Living alone often comes with a negative stigma, but taking time alone can help a person increase their self-awareness about what they enjoy. Identifying the signs of whether you are happy when alone can help you know whether being alone positively or negatively impacts your life.¹

Below are some signs that you may prefer being alone:

• You prefer online shopping than in-person browsing
• You head straight home after work to spend time with yourself
• You don’t like answering your phone calls
• You don’t initiate plans with others and wait to be invited
• You say no to plans even with close friends
• You are happy when someone cancels plans on you
• You prioritize time for exploring hobbies of interest

15 Reasons Why You Like Being Alone

There are many reasons why you may like being alone. Some people want to explore self differentiation, while others feel safest when home alone. In order to enjoy your alone time to the fullest, you should explore why you want to be alone, and how being alone impacts their daily lives. The following are 15 possible reasons why you like being alone:

1. You’re an Introvert

If you identify as an introvert, you are more likely to treasure your alone time. Studies show that introverted people are more prone to overstimulation or sensory overload in social situations. Therefore, you may leave social settings feeling exhausted, and will need time to recharge your social battery. When this happens, you may retreat and not want to spend time around other people for a while.

2. You Don’t Like Drama

If you dislike drama, you may avoid wanting to spend time in a social setting where gossiping will occur. You may be extra selective about who you allow into their life, as an attempt to avoid toxic friends. It is important for you to assess in which social settings drama occurs, so that you can avoid feeling overwhelmed and stressed out in your friendship circle.

3. You’re an Empath

As a person that often feels the emotions of other people, being an empath can be a reason that you might want to be spending time alone. If you are an empath, it is important to recognize the signs of someone who is an energy vampire, because they will happily take all your emotional energy. In order to maintain an emotional balance, you may choose to spend time alone to avoid being impacted by the feelings of others.²

4. You are Content With Your Life As Is

If you are happy with the current stage of life you are in, you may experience a lot of joy in being alone. When you engage with other people, you would need to make compromises with how you spend your time in order to  incorporate the other person’s needs. If you don’t wish to accommodate others’ needs, you might be happier when you are alone.

5. You Feel Emotionally Independent

If you are emotionally independent, you might not want the impacts or opinions of others. This leaves you with the opportunity to feel that you are happy being alone so that you do not need to process or discuss how you feel to other people. Emotional independence for you might mean that when you have a feeling you are able to process on your own and not truly tell anyone how you feel. It is often helpful to ensure that you are truly okay with the feelings you have or if you are holding onto them.

6. You Work Best on Your Own

As someone who works independently, taking time to be with other people and have their input can be something that bothers you. You might feel that you work best on your own and not in collaboration with others. When you work independently, you find more joy because you feel that you have more control over your life and various situations.

7. Social Settings Make You Nervous

When interacting or engaging with others, you might find that you become easily stressed out and overwhelmed. If the feelings of distress are severe, you may even have social anxiety disorder. If you become easily anxious when interacting with others in social settings, You may feel like you cannot engage with other people and enjoy spending time alone.

8. You Don’t Want to Answer to Anyone

When you spend time alone, you don’t have to answer to anyone else. You might enjoy being alone because you do not have to check in with others about your schedule or where you are at any given time. You are happiest when you can live life independently.

9. You Have an Avoidant Attachment Style

Our attachment styles are usually an indicator of the way in which we like to interact with others. This often can be a sign from how others have interacted with us and how we continue the pattern. If you are a person that has an avoidant attachment style, it could be an indication that you do not like to interact with others because interactions with others may require close and intimate connection.³

10. Your Goals Don’t Align with Peers

As you transition into adulthood, your goals may become very different from your friends. You might choose to be alone because you want to focus on your own outcomes and not have your peers distract you from your goals.

11. You Don’t Want to Settle for Connections

Sometimes when you feel forced to make connections, it can feel like you are settling. You might want to be alone because you feel like you are forming surface level friendships, or even fake friendships. Taking the time to be alone rather than settle for connections is an important piece of knowing what is best for you.

12. You Regulate Better with Animals

Ever get that overwhelming feeling that you are anxious and having a hard time grounding? Who is the first person you look for? Sometimes, it might not be a person! You may choose to be alone because animals regulate you more effectively and can sense when you are in need without giving unwanted advice.

13. You Are Breaking the Habit of People Pleasing

If you notice that when you spend time with other people you start to change and shift yourself to fit in, you may prefer to spend time alone. If people pleasing is something that you struggle with, spending time alone may give you a break from the expectations of other people. Taking time for yourself might be your way of breaking people pleasing habits.

14. You Don’t Want to Be the Giver

In many instances and relationships, you might find that our energy is being drained. It could be because you are the one continuously giving advice, or doing favors. You may want to spend time alone because you do not want to be the one who always gives in your relationships. Spending time solo allows you to give to yourself.

15. You Feel Safest at Home

The environment you are in can either feel safe and secure or make you feel overwhelmed and distressed. You might choose to be alone because being at home allows you to feel safest and not feel that your nervous system is being shaken by the impacts of others.

How to Be Happy Alone

While being alone can be a wonderful choice, it’s important to ensure that you are maintaining your happiness. As humans, we often crave connection, and you may find it difficult to remain happy when taking time apart. There are many skills and strategies that can increase happiness when you are alone, and it’s important to utilize them to ensure your emotional well-being.

Here are tips for how to be happy when spending time alone:

• Try out a new hobby: Taking the time for a new hobby can help you to identify new interests that you did not realize they would enjoy. Take time to try something you usually wouldn’t, and learn something about yourself in the process.
• Explore resources: It is helpful to find resources that can help you connect to yourself. Finding books, podcasts, and online forums about creating happiness while alone, can help you to feel supported.
• Have online hangouts: There are many online platforms that have hangouts or activities to connect with other people. Taking the time to connect online gives you the option to connect with others while still being in the comfort of your home.
• Create a gratitude journal: Finding moments to be thankful for every day, will increase your overall happiness. Jot down 2-3 items you are thankful for each day to find joy in the small and big moments.
• Limit time on social media: Social media is all about comparison, and can leave you feeling depressed and anxious. Limit yourself on social media so you are not comparing your life to the lives of others.
• Create routine: Having a routine will help you establish healthy patterns for being solo. A routine can also ensure that you are getting out of bed with a sense of mission.
• Take time to exercise:  There are many mental health benefits of exercise. Taking time for exercise can help you fuel your body and release endorphins, which will help you increase your happiness.
• Identify your support system: Even when enjoying time alone, it’s important to know the people you can turn to in times of need. Identify your support system, so you can spend time alone feeling secure that if you need someone, they are waiting for you.
• Travel far and wide: Take time to travel without anyone else’s agenda or needs. See and do the things that are of interest to you without the pressures of someone else.
• Establish your identity:  Learn who you are! Take time to process your likes and dislikes and what makes you, YOU!

When to Seek Professional Help

If you find yourself struggling with severe anxiety when around others, and being avoidant of most social settings, it may be time to ask yourself whether you need therapy. Social anxiety disorder can be an impactful part of wanting to be alone, and your decision to be alone may not be coming from a healthy place. There are many ways to find a therapist, including online therapy options. Explore your options and take the time to figure out what type of therapy would be the best fit for you.

In My Experience

In my experience, it’s crucial to reflect on the reasons that you might be happy alone and see what you are potentially taking out of your life and if this will truly have a positive or negative impact. A client who is expressing that they are happy alone but having other struggles in their life can take the time to look at how to incorporate interaction with others rather than feeling that they need to rely on or become codependent to others. Taking the time to reflect on being alone and the way in which this separation impacts a person is an important part of determining if you are truly happy alone.