How to Find a Therapist as a Young Adult

Why Finding the Right Therapist Is So Important for Young Adults

The period beginning at age 18 and extending through the twenties is a critical and vulnerable time. During this phase of emerging adulthood, young adults face unique developmental challenges and are at an increased risk for experiencing mental health issues. Finding the right therapist during this time can offer vital support for successfully navigating adulthood.

The Challenges of Emerging Adulthood

Mental health clinicians often refer to the transition into adulthood, starting at 18, as “the cliff.” This is especially true for young adults diagnosed with a mental illness. After high school or college, many face the world with a limited skill set to navigate what the American Psychological Association calls “emerging adulthood.”^{1, 2}

This challenging time can also lead to failure to launch, Peter Pan syndrome, or a quarter life crisis,, among other mental health concerns. For those in this age group who are in college, there is a unique set of stressors that can easily lead to burnout, anxiety, and depression.

When Mental Health Issues Typically Begin

Statistically speaking, emerging adulthood is also the period of time in which three-quarters of any mental illness (AMI) and/or serious mental illness (SMI) emerge for the first time in a person’s life. Beginning psychotherapy with a competent and caring psychotherapist during these years is crucial.

Alarming Mental Health Statistics Among Young Adults

In 2017, the National Institute of Mental Health found that young adults aged 18–25 years had the highest prevalence of AMI (25.8%) and of SMI (7.5%) compared to adults aged 26–49 years.³

A 2019 study of over 600,000 Americans found that young adults in their twenties were experiencing sustained periods of depression at much higher rates than a decade ago.⁴ Despite this, they were the least likely to receive mental health care.¹

It is also widely thought that suicide is now the second leading cause of death in Americans ages 10–34.⁵ What’s more, even if young adults don’t go through with a suicide attempt, the National Institute of Mental Health reported that as of 2019, serious suicidal thoughts were the highest in emerging adults, ages 18–25, compared to any other age group.⁶

Why Early Intervention Matters

In light of these alarming statistics, it’s crucial to find a psychotherapist in your twenties if you are experiencing any mental health issues or thoughts of self-harm. Early intervention can offer coping strategies, emotional support, and a path toward mental well-being during one of life’s most challenging transitions.

Steps to Find a Therapist as a Young Adult

Finding the right therapist involves thoughtful consideration of various personal and practical factors. Here are some key steps to help guide you through this important decision-making process:

1. Decide What’s Important to You

Figure out what’s important to you in a psychotherapist. Is it their education, or credential?  Do they need to be religious or of the same religion as you?  Is their gender or sexual orientation important to you?  Do they need to be fully covered by your insurance?  Whatever it may be, making this list is essential to your search for the right fit.

2. Consider Therapy Modalities

Once you’ve decided what’s important to you in a psychotherapist, the next thing to consider is which modality the psychotherapist works from and if it is the right one for you. Generally speaking, psychotherapists work psycho-dynamically, behaviorally, or a combination of the two.

Behavioral psychotherapy is best described as psychotherapy that addresses and works with dysfunctional emotions and behaviors through goal-orientated and task-based work.⁷ The primary focus of behavioral treatment is to reduce and/or eliminate unwanted behaviors through action.⁸ Generally speaking, behavioral psychotherapy is almost always shorter-term.

Psychodynamic psychotherapy recognizes that early life relationships and experiences continue to affect us as young adults. By gaining insight into the roots of negative thoughts and feelings, individuals can create positive change. Psychodynamic psychotherapy usually takes much longer than behavioral therapies, and is not always ideal for someone struggling with a compulsive or addictive behavior.

Sometimes, people even start with behavioral psychotherapy to stop their compulsive and/or addictive behaviors and then move on to psychodynamic psychotherapy to address the thoughts and feelings behind the compulsions and addictions.⁹

Lastly, some therapists combine behavioral approaches with psychodynamic approaches and are therefore called “eclectic” in their approach to treating your issues.

3. Where to Find Possible Therapists

First, ask around: Family, friends, work colleagues, or even your doctor if they know of someone.  Sometimes, word of mouth can be a strong reference as to the skill and style of a therapist. Searching an online therapist directory or calling your health insurance company for a list of psychotherapists can also help. Additionally, if you are a member of a support group like AA or Al-Anon, other members of these groups may also recommend a psychotherapist that you could work with.

4. Consider Online Therapy

Research reputable online therapy platforms for young adults. Reputable platforms help protect against fraud by ensuring providers are qualified and licensed.

Different online therapy platforms may offer advantages or cater to specific needs:

• Teen Counseling – Teen Counseling offers same-day appointments, weekly 30-minute sessions, and separate chatrooms with the therapist for parents and teens.
• Bend Health – If you’re using insurance, Bend Health offers a unique program for young adults ages 18 to 25 including specialized psychiatric urgent care and virtual intensive outpatient programs.
• Talkspace – For teens and young adults who are more comfortable with texting or messaging, consider Talkspace.
• Thriveworks – Offering therapy and medication management, Thriveworks offers in-person and online therapy options for young adults.

5. Consider Licensing, Certifications, and Education

All licensed psychotherapists, whether they be mental health counselors, marriage and family therapists, clinical social workers, psychologists, or psychiatrists have to first have a graduate degree in their field to become licensed, and in some cases, certified. Many people find that the fit and style of the therapist matters more than from which discipline in which the provider was trained.

All psychiatrists are qualified to practice psychopharmacology (the practice of prescribing medication for mental disorders, sometimes called “medication management”) after the completion of medical school, boards, and residency. In the present time, most people just see a psychiatrist for their medication management and go to a different psychotherapist for their therapy.  Some psychiatrists offer psychotherapy in addition to psychopharmacology, but not always.

6. Understand Costs & Insurance

The next step is to understand what the cost of therapy will be, and also, whether or not the therapist is covered by your insurance plan (in-network) or not (out of network). Many psychotherapists work out of network, meaning you’ll pay the full session fee upfront. They will provide a superbill after each session, which you can submit to your insurance company for partial reimbursement.

If you need a specialist, either for a compulsive or addictive behavior; want to combine medication with psychotherapy; have a high-deductible insurance plan; or, you don’t want your insurance company to know anything about your mental health, then working with an out-of-network psychotherapist may be your best option.¹⁰

On the other hand, if budget is a serious issue for you, you do not have a high deductible insurance plan, and do not need a specialist, then working with a psychotherapist who is in-network with your insurance plan may be the way to go. Before you begin searching for an in-network psychotherapist, it’s important to call your health insurance company first to ask them what their in-network mental health coverage will be, including what your copay per session will be. Also ask them if there is a limit to how many sessions they will cover, and what (if any) mental health diagnoses or mental health treatments (like hypno-therapy, for example) will not be covered by your plan.

Once you have decided what you can afford to pay and whether or not you want to use your health insurance to cover the cost of your therapy, the next issue to consider is fit, and this is where a psychotherapist’s website or profile plays a very important role in your selection process.

7. How to Review a Therapist’s Profile or Website

When first viewing a psychotherapist’s website or online profile, think about what they’ve written and ask yourself: Is the language they’re using accessible to me and do I like what I’m reading? If so, contact them for a consultation. If you don’t like what you’re reading, keep on searching, because this might mean that the psychotherapist you’re looking at has an approach to therapy that may not be a good fit for you.

Next, consider their photograph: Do you get a strong sense of their personality and who they are as a psychotherapist?  Do they seem authentic?  If so, consider contacting them. If you aren’t getting a sense of their personality, if you have a negative reaction to their photograph, or there’s something about their physical appearance that doesn’t resonate with you, eliminate them from your search and move on.  It just may not be a good fit.

8. Schedule a Consultation

Now that you have a list of psychotherapists you want to contact, it’s time to also make a list of the questions you want to ask them in the initial phone consultation. Do you want to know more about their education and credentials? Experience? Ethnicity, sexual and/or gender orientation? Write it all down.

When you actually have the phone consultation, first confirm the psychotherapist’s insurance coverage and/or rates before asking them your list of questions. Then, ask away, and pay attention to how they answer your questions and how the conversation between the two of you feels. Is it collaborative? Respectful? Does the psychotherapist sound open, and also knowledgeable? If so, then you may have an initial good match and a first appointment can be booked.

If their responses seem impatient, pushy, or unclear, ask follow-up questions like ‘Can you clarify your approach?’ or ‘I’m not sure I understand your answers, can we go over them again?’ This can help you confirm your impressions. If in any way you feel judged by the psychotherapist in the initial phone consultation, then stop the conversation, thank them for their time, end the call and keep on searching.

The bottom line is, do you feel heard, understood, and accepted in this consultation? If so, it’s worth making an initial appointment to see the psychotherapist for therapy. If you don’t, they’re not the right therapist for you and you should keep searching. This is also what to consider in your first appointment: Is this person listening to me, and do I feel that this is going to be a safe space in which I can learn and grow about myself?

What to Consider During the First Session

In your initial session, certain information might not be immediately shared. Therapists typically provide insurance companies with a diagnosis for reimbursement purposes, but they might not discuss it directly with you right away. Additionally, therapy is primarily focused on your experiences and processes, so therapists rarely share details about their personal lives or experiences.

Different Therapeutic Approaches

Therapists approach the initial session in diverse ways. Some might ask detailed questions about your upbringing, previous therapy experiences, or specific issues you are facing. Others might prefer a more passive approach, encouraging you to talk freely about whatever feels significant to you at the moment. Behaviorally-focused therapists, in particular, might quickly identify key issues and outline a clear, structured path for addressing them.

It’s important to note that these initial styles can change. A therapist who starts by asking many questions might shift towards a quieter, more reflective approach, allowing you greater space over time. Conversely, someone initially reserved might become increasingly interactive as you build rapport.

Assessing Your Comfort

Pay close attention to how you feel during the session. Are you relaxed and able to open up, or do you find yourself becoming increasingly uncomfortable? If discomfort arises, it’s essential to communicate this feeling to your therapist. Their response and willingness to adjust can significantly influence the effectiveness and continuation of your therapy.

Therapy is a collaborative process; clearly expressing your needs and preferences helps your therapist better support you. Request adjustments as necessary and observe their responsiveness. This dialogue is vital for determining whether the therapeutic relationship is beneficial and worth continuing.

Boundaries and Safety

Healthy boundaries are crucial in psychotherapy, and your therapist should model appropriate behavior and interactions. Be cautious if your therapist frequently shares personal experiences or discloses extensively about themselves, particularly early in therapy sessions. Excessive self-disclosure may indicate boundary issues.

If a therapist violates physical or sexual boundaries, terminate the treatment immediately and report the incident. Your safety and comfort are paramount, and a trustworthy therapeutic environment must always prioritize protecting your vulnerability.

What to Consider After a Few Sessions

During the first few weeks of treatment, it’s normal to feel a little resistance to the process of opening up and trusting the therapeutic process. However, if you are repeatedly feeling judged and misunderstood or that the relationship between you and the psychotherapist is not collaborative or in any way equal, then they may be a bad fit and you may want to find another therapist. Furthermore, if within the first 3-4 sessions your therapist is consistently distracted by their cell phone, laptop, or anything else, or is very late for your session, it may also be time to change to someone new.¹¹

When to Work With Multiple Therapists

Once you’ve settled into treatment with your psychotherapist, you may also need to seek out the help of an additional psychotherapist, especially if you are struggling with any kind of compulsive behaviors with food, substances, sex, spending, gambling, etc. or need to see a couples therapist for relationship issues. It’s also acceptable to be in 12 Step Treatment to address the substance use while working with a psychotherapist simultaneously.

If you are seeing a therapist for individual psychotherapy and want to do couples therapy with your partner for relationship issues, you will need to see a separate couples therapist to address the relationship disturbances, since neutrality and impartiality in couples therapy is essential.