ADHD & Hypersexuality: Understanding the Connection

What Is Hypersexuality?

Hypersexuality refers to an increased sex drive and interest in sexual activity. In some cases, hypersexuality can stem from compulsive sexual behavior disorder or sex addiction, resulting in excessive or uncontrolled sexual thoughts, fantasies, and behaviors.¹

People with hypersexuality may engage in risky sexual behavior or have difficulty regulating their sexual desires, sometimes leading to relationship problems, social isolation, and decreased self-esteem.

Common signs of hypersexuality include:

• Spending excessive time on thoughts of sexual behavior, so much that it interferes with your daily life
• An inability to control or reduce sexual urges despite knowing the negative consequences
• Using sex as a coping mechanism for things like stress, anxiety, or depression
• Engaging in risky sexual behaviors, like having unprotected sex.
• Feelings of shame or guilt about your sexual behaviors
• Having a hard time maintaining relationships due to infidelity or prioritizing sex over your day-to-day life.

Is Hypersexuality a Symptom of ADHD?

Hypersexuality in individuals with ADHD is common, but it is not necessarily a symptom of ADHD. Rather, symptoms like impulsivity and hyperactivity can cause people with ADHD to have an increased sex drive and seek out risky sexual activity. Additionally, individuals with ADHD are dopamine deficient, which causes stimulation-seeking behavior such as risky sex.

In some cases, hypersexual behavior can be a form of escapism for individuals with ADHD. For many people, sex is an inherently enjoyable experience and can be a distraction from distressing ADHD symptoms, such as boredom, anxiety, or stress.

Here are some ADHD symptoms that might lead to hypersexuality:

• Impulsivity: Individuals with ADHD often struggle with impulse control. Impulse control issues can increase sexual behaviors because it can cause some individuals with ADHD to act on sexual desires without considering the consequences.
• Hyperfixation: Some individuals with ADHD may hyperfixate on sex, developing an intense focus on sexual activities as a particular interest. In turn, they may seek sex to the exclusion of responsibilities, relationships, or other activities.
• Low dopamine levels: Dopamine is a neurotransmitter in the brain that plays a role in pleasure, motivation, and reward. Those with ADHD often experience dopamine deficiencies, meaning they need more stimulation to achieve pleasure or reward. Therefore, some individuals may seek the instant gratification that comes from sex to increase dopamine levels, sometimes leading to hypersexuality and impulsive sexual behavior.
• Executive dysfunction: ADHD executive dysfunction can affect organizing and planning, meaning some individuals with ADHD may overlook appropriate sex-safety precautions, such as using condoms or getting tested for sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
• Emotional dysregulation:  People with ADHD may also struggle with emotional dysregulation, turning to compulsive sex as an unhealthy coping mechanism. Hypersexuality in ADHD may temporarily relieve negative emotions but can lead to long-term addictive behavior.
• Hyperactivity: People with ADHD may experience restlessness and need more stimulation, which could extend to their sexual behavior. They may engage in frequent sexual activities as a way to satisfy the need for excitement and avoid boredom.
• Low self-esteem: Those with ADHD may struggle with self-esteem due to difficulties in other areas of their lives, like work or executive functioning, and use sex as a way to feel validated or worthy or even use sexual conquests as a way to boost self-esteem temporarily. This can lead to a cycle of seeking more sexual encounters to maintain these feelings of self-worth.

Impacts of Hypersexuality in ADHD

Untreated ADHD hypersexuality can significantly disrupt a person’s life. Compulsive sexual behavior can lead to infidelity, causing serious issues in romantic relationships.² Constantly seeking sexual gratification can also interfere with work or academic performance because a person’s time and energy are diverted from their responsibilities. Engaging in risky sexual behaviors also increases the chance of contracting an STI or experiencing an unintended pregnancy.

Additionally, the cycle of seeking sexual validation can actually worsen self-esteem in the long run. After the temporary high, there can be feelings of shame, guilt or self-loathing that intensify, making any existing feelings of self-esteem issues even worse. The stigma surrounding hypersexuality could also lead to isolation, and any impulsive spending on sexual activities may also lead to financial strain.

10 Tips for Managing ADHD & Hypersexuality

While navigating ADHD and hypersexuality can be difficult, those with ADHD can have safe and pleasurable sex lives. Along with professional support, specific lifestyle changes can lead to a positive and mutually enjoyable sexual relationship for partners.

Here are ten tips for how to manage ADHD hypersexuality:

1. Find an alternative high-stimulating activity: When you feel hypersexual urges coming on, remind yourself that your brain needs dopamine. Instead of turning to sex, try to find an alternative activity that will give you dopamine without the risks. For example, try playing a stimulating video game or going for a run.
2. Consider medication: Taking ADHD medication can help you decrease the intensity of your ADHD impulsivity and hyperactivity. This can make you have less urge to engage in risky behavior, including risky sex.
3. Use a timer: Use a timer to set a designated amount of time for sexual activity. This can prevent you from going into a state of hyperfocus and spending excessive time on sexual activity.
4. Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness helps you to become more aware of your thoughts and urges, thereby decreasing how likely you are to act on a hypersexual urge. Additionally, mindfulness reduces stress, which decreases the likelihood of using hypersexuality as a form of escapism. Mindfulness apps such as Calm or Headspace make practicing mindfulness easy.
5. Experiment with different positions and activities: Exploring different sexual positions and activities can help to make the sex you are having with your partner(s) more stimulating. This can give you a hit of dopamine quickly, thus decreasing the amount of sex you need to feel stimulated.
6. Practice self-care: It is crucial to prioritize all types of self-care activities, such as exercise and adequate sleep. When you take care of all aspects of your physical and mental health, your ADHD symptoms will decrease, and you will have fewer hypersexual urges.
7. Communicate with your partner(s): Talking to your partner(s) about sex and your ADHD hypersexuality is very important. Open communication will allow them to be more supportive of you and also take any of your compulsive masturbating or porn use less personally. If you don’t know how to begin the conversation, there are many different therapy books on sex and intimacy that can help you and your partner.
8. Practice safe sex: If you are on a hypersexual binge and sleeping with a lot of people, it is crucial to practice safe sex. Contraception and frequent STI testing can help reduce STDs and unintended pregnancies.
9. Educate yourself about sex: Learning about sexual health and safe sexual practices can help you to make informed decisions and reduce the risk of consequences related to ADHD hypersexuality.
10. Seek support: Seeking professional support is a great way to combat ADHD hypersexuality. A therapist can provide you with coping skills for your ADHD, as well as communication tools for you and your partner(s). A psychiatrist can help you to explore ADHD medication options. There are also plenty of ADHD apps, such as InFlow, that provide skills-building programs as well as supportive communities of individuals who are going through the same struggles.

When to Seek Professional Support

If your ADHD hypersexuality begins to feel out of control, no matter how many of the above coping skills you use, it may be time to seek support. Asking for help is not something to be ashamed of, and receiving the proper help is a key step to breaking an ADHD hypersexuality addiction.

There are many online ADHD treatment services that make finding a therapist or psychiatrist who specializes in adult ADHD treatment easy and affordable. Don’t be afraid to ask your potential therapist or psychiatrist about whether they have experience with hypersexuality and ADHD because their expertise is incredibly beneficial.

Effective treatment options for managing ADHD and hypersexuality include:

• Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT): CBT for ADHD can help individuals with ADHD and hypersexuality identify and change negative thought patterns and behaviors that contribute to sexual difficulties.
• Sex therapy: Sex therapy can assist individuals in addressing sexual challenges related to ADHD. A sex therapist can provide education about and strategies for improving sexual function and pleasure.
• Couples therapy: Couples therapy can help couples approach relationship challenges that may arise due to ADHD symptoms, such as communication difficulties, hypersexuality, and different sex drives.
• Medication: ADHD medications can help a person combat their ADHD-induced impulsivity and hyperactivity, which can thereby reduce the frequency and intensity of hypersexuality urges.

Do Medications Increase Hypersexuality in ADHD?

Some medications for ADHD increase motivation and focus, which in turn can exacerbate hypersexual behavior in some individuals. More specifically, studies show that Vyvane can increase sex drive.³ In contrast, some ADHD medications can cause sexual dysfunction and low sex drive. For example, Adderall tends to decrease sex drive in men.⁴ Anti-anxiety medications or anti-depressants, such as SSRIs, can also lead to decreased sexual desire and difficulties with reaching orgasm.

Supporting a Partner With ADHD & Hypersexuality

Learning how to deal with hypersexuality in a relationship can be challenging, but taking small steps can improve your emotional intimacy and conflict-resolution skills.

Here are some tips for how to support a partner with ADHD hypersexuality:

• Try not to take it personally: Remember that your partner’s hypersexuality is a symptom of their ADHD and has nothing to do with how desirable you are or the quality of your relationship. Their heightened sexual desire is often driven by impulsivity and a need for stimulation, not a lack of satisfaction with you. If you’re able to reframe it this way, this can help you feel more compassionate towards your partner.
• Set boundaries: Just because hypersexuality is a symptom of your partner’s ADHD, it doesn’t mean it has to be ok with you. Setting clear boundaries in the relationship is essential for your emotional well-being and the health of your partnership. Communicate your limits on frequency and anything that makes you uncomfortable so that your needs can be respected.
• Focus on self-care and self-pleasure: Self-care is essential, and when you take care of your well-being, you will be better equipped to handle challenges in your relationship. Practice things that bring you joy and explore your sexuality using self-pleasure.
• Schedule communication check-ins: Having regular conversations about your needs and feelings will help avoid any resentment. Set aside time weekly to discuss your relationship, including your sexual life, so that you can feel heard.
• Educate yourself about ADHD: The more you know, the more you will be able to understand how ADHD can impact your relationship and sexuality. This will help you better respond from a place of empathy rather than anger or frustration.
• Explore non-sexual forms of intimacy: Try using activities that provide stimulation but are non-sexual. Try having a date night where you dance or do something adventurous like rock climbing or hiking or sensory activities like a massage or cuddling that still provide closeness.
• Support their ADHD management: Work together to find strategies that help them manage their symptoms overall because when their symptoms are better, their hypersexuality may also be more manageable. This could include lifestyle changes like exercise, better sleep habits, therapy, or medication.
• Practice patience: Change takes time, and there will be good days and bad days. Acknowledge your partner’s efforts and celebrate the successes that reinforce those positive changes.

Hyposexuality & ADHD

While some individuals with ADHD gravitate toward hypersexuality, others exhibit hyposexual behavior. Poor focus and attention may lead to a lack of interest in sexual activity or difficulty initiating sexual activity with a partner. Emotional dysregulation can impair the ability to experience and express pleasure, sometimes resulting in hyposexuality. Additionally, people with ADHD often struggle with sensory overload, which can make them find sex-related noises, smells, and other experiences overwhelming or uncomfortable.