Relationship Burnout: Signs, Causes & How to Overcome

What Is Relationship Burnout?

Relationship burnout can occur when relationship stress becomes chronic, resulting in exhaustion, similar to other forms of burnout. While burnout is often associated with work, it can also infiltrate relationships. Often, when a person feels undervalued by or lacks support from their partner, the risk of experiencing burnout greatly increases.¹

What Does Relationship Burnout Feel Like?

Someone experiencing relationship burnout may start to feel:

• Detached from their partner
• Lack of interest or excitement in the relationship
• Cynical about their partner or relationship
• Overall negative feelings about the relationship
• Emotional exhaustion
• Drained of energy
• Reduced sexual desire and physical affection

Feeling Drained? 11 Signs of Burnout in a Relationship

Burnout doesn’t happen overnight—it’s the result of ongoing emotional stress, tension, and unmet needs within a relationship. As this emotional load builds, you might notice changes in how you feel and act around your partner.

Here are 11 potential signs of burnout in a relationship:

1. Feeling Disengaged From Your Partner

You used to feel connected and engaged, but now mutual activities that once brought you joy feel boring or even aggravating. For example, a weekend date night might feel more like a chore than something to look forward to.

2. Frequent Fighting

Constant fighting creates a toxic relationship. People can only cope with so much stress before it begins to take a toll on them both physically and emotionally. In time, one or both partners will start to shut down, which is a clear sign of impending burnout.²

3. Uninterested in Having Sex With Your Partner

For many couples, sex is an important part of their relationship, but burnout can make physical connection feel forced or undesirable. When a person loses interest in intimacy with their partner, their behavior could be indicative of a bigger problem. Of course, the frequency of sex in a relationship depends on a number of factors, including differing libidos and schedules. However, if you’re avoiding sex or feeling repelled by your partner’s advances, it could be a sign of underlying emotional fatigue.

4. Feeling More Negative or Cynical About Your Partner

Little things that never bothered you before—like how they load the dishwasher or their tendency to forget plans—now feel magnified. Instead of seeing the good in them, you’re stuck anticipating the worst.³

5. Dreading Spending Time With Your Partner

No relationship is perfect and there will always be causes for dispute between partners. Regardless, if a person becomes agitated at the thought of spending time with their partner, this is a recognizable sign of relationship burnout.

6. Getting Easily Distracted During Partner Interactions

One of the hallmark signs of burnout is being easily distracted. Someone may notice that they are no longer interested in what their partner is saying or they zone out entirely during conversations. This can be harmful for the relationship for a number of reasons, including the fact that healthy communication is no longer being utilized to resolve problems or express feelings.

7. The Relationship Creates More Stress Than Support

When the relationship starts to feel more stressful than supportive, this can be a sign that the relationship is in trouble. Healthy relationships ultimately have a foundation of fondness and mutual support.

8. Daydreaming About Leaving

When a partner starts daydreaming about ending their relationship or searching for an easy “out,” there is obviously cause for concern. A person may find that they no longer have the energy to work on their relationship and fix things with their partner. They may find relief in the thought of leaving.

9. Humor Has Left the Relationship

Inside jokes and laughter used to come easily, but now they’re few and far between. Without humor, small disagreements can escalate, leaving both partners feeling more like adversaries than allies.

10. Emotional Exhaustion

By the time a person reaches burnout, they are beyond exhausted. They would have already spent time arguing over, worrying about, and investing energy into mending the partnership. Expending this much effort into any type of relationship can be difficult, especially in one that is so reliant upon the emotional attachment between two individuals. Being emotionally exhausted can essentially drain any hope of repair from a relationship.

11. Attraction to Other People

A wandering eye can be the final straw for a relationship and can be a symptom of emotional disconnection. If you’re seeking emotional or physical validation from others, it could be a sign that you’re no longer finding those connections within your relationship.

Causes of Relationship Burnout

Relationship burnout may occur for any number of factors and reasons. It can be due to differing personalities, incessant arguing, or mutual frustration. Additionally, one partner may feel that they are putting forth more effort than the other, resulting in a sense of imbalance. Regardless, these problems can lead to an utter disconnect within a couple.

Some reasons someone may be experiencing burnout in their relationship include:⁴

• They don’t feel valued by their partner
• They have a type A personality
• They are constantly chronically stressed
• They grow apart from their partner
• They feel a loss of independence
• Lack of communication in the relationship
• Other responsibilities are more important
• Incompatible personalities
• External stressors, such as financial stress

Rekindle Connection: How to Overcome Relationship Burnout

Feeling burned out doesn’t have to signal the end of your relationship. When both partners are willing to put in the effort, there are meaningful ways to rebuild trust, intimacy, and connection. These strategies can help you and your partner reignite what feels lost.

Here are some tips to help you overcome burnout within your relationship:

Be Honest About Your Needs

Bottling up feelings or pretending everything is fine can deepen the distance between you and your partner. Instead, have an open conversation about your emotional and physical needs. Honesty builds trust and opens the door to healthier communication. For example, if you’ve been feeling unsupported, share specific examples and discuss what actions could help you feel valued.

Tip: Use “I” statements (e.g., “I feel overwhelmed when…”) to avoid placing blame.

Identify Potential Triggers

Understanding what causes conflict is the first step to addressing it. Take time to reflect on what situations trigger stress or distance. For example, you might notice that arguments often occur when one partner feels unheard or ignored after a long day. Once you’ve identified triggers, work together to create solutions—whether through setting boundaries or using calming techniques.

Try This: Keep a shared journal of triggers and coping ideas, so you both feel heard and supported.

Set Aside Time to Spend With Each Other

A person can become easily disconnected from their partner when they don’t make their relationship a priority. Before giving up on your relationship, try making a commitment to spending more time with your partner. Try taking turns planning date nights, grocery shopping together, or dedicating 10 minutes a day to simply reconnect.

Example: Rotate planning date nights to keep things fresh. One week it could be dinner, and the next it might be a cozy movie night at home.

Learn Each Other’s Love Language

Couples who have differing love languages may struggle when it comes to effective communication. One partner might crave words of affirmation, while the other shows love through acts of service. By learning each other’s love languages, you can bridge this gap and make your partner feel truly appreciated.⁵

Pro Tip: Take the time to ask your partner what gestures make them feel loved—it’s often the small things that count.

Encourage Physical Intimacy

It is common for physical intimacy to decline when a relationship is experiencing burnout and wanting physical space is a frequent side effect. Reconnecting physically in ways that feel safe and comfortable for those within the relationship is a big step in the right direction of repairing burnout. We’re social and physical creatures and our nervous systems respond positively to physical touch from those we trust. If you’re able to offer nurturing presence in this way, it can help reopen the doors of vulnerability and intimacy.

Consider This: Start with small, meaningful touches and let the connection grow naturally.

Take a Break

Sometimes, taking a break from each other can be beneficial. Spending too much time with a partner can make a person feel claustrophobic within a relationship. For some, independence is a crucial part of their self-identity and can easily be lost in a tight-knit romantic partnership. Allowing you or your partner to take some personal time for self-reflection and relaxation can allow you to rejuvenate lost emotional energy.

Try This: Spend a weekend doing something you love individually, then reconnect and share your experiences.

Show Gratitude

Concentrating on the negative aspects of a relationship is not healthy. When someone gets in the habit of doing so, they can become hyper-focused on nitpicking trivial issues and problems. It can be constructive to shift your perspective to one that celebrates the positives as they come. Expressing gratitude for the little things your partner does can help you see that your relationship is worthwhile after all.

Daily Habit: Try sharing one thing you’re grateful for about each other every night before bed.

Give Each Other the Benefit of the Doubt

Constantly assuming the worst about your partner’s intentions can fuel burnout. Instead, remind yourself of the good times and the thoughtful gestures they’ve made. Let those memories guide you before jumping to conclusions during disagreements.

Mindset Shift: Ask yourself, “What would I think if I assumed they meant well?”

Practice Self-Care

Burnout impacts every aspect of your life, not just your relationships. Chronic stress can leave you feeling entirely worn out and defeated. For this reason, practicing self-care is extremely important. Prioritize maintaining a healthy sleep, exercise, and diet routine to limit excessive stressors. Self-care is not selfish. In reality, it allows you to be your best self and, in return, a better partner.

Idea: Try incorporating a weekly “me-time” session where you do something restorative, like journaling or taking a nature walk.

Be Patient

Burnout is a build up of factors that occurs over time and similarly can take just as much time, if not more to be resolved. Give yourself and your partner time to build back the connection and desire within the relationship. If either of you feels pressured or forced, it can cause more of a rift.

Reminder: Celebrate small wins—whether it’s a productive conversation or a shared laugh after a difficult day.

When to Seek Couples Counseling

Couples counseling can help you and your partner improve communication, reconnect with each other, and recognize your shared values. You shouldn’t wait until your relationship is in serious trouble before seeking help. There are online couples therapy and coaching programs, like Our Ritual and Our Relationship, or you can find a local couples therapist that matches your needs from a therapist directory.

When to Break Up

Sadly, some relationships are not meant to stand the test of time, but that’s okay! When couples find that they are stuck in an endless loop of arguments and burnout, it may be time to part ways amicably. Certain differences cannot always be overlooked, and if the relationship is causing you more pain than it’s worth, you should consider severing ties. Toxic relationships will often lead to further emotional turmoil, so sometimes moving on is the only healthy option.