Frequently saying, “I hate people,” may be caused by unrealistic expectations going unmet, an internalized sense of superiority, social stress, a personality disorder, or several other reasons. Sometimes, it may feel like you hate people in general, or at least a majority of them. While some of these underlying issues can be readily challenged, others may require more introspection and work, possibly with the help of a professional therapist.
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“I Hate People”: 11 Possible Reasons Why
While annoyance at others is a common occurrence, constantly thinking “I hate people” is usually a sign of something more going on. Possible causes include a personality issue, stress, or a myriad of other things. These may be personal to you or even situational and temporary.
The following are 11 reasons why you may feel like you hate everyone:
1. Stress
Different types of stress, especially toxic stress, can heighten other negative emotions such as anger, which can lead to and prolong feelings of hatred. Stress can also make us easily irritated by the smallest things and incapable of putting aside our feelings to deal with or interact with others.
2. Social Anxiety
If you have social anxiety disorder, you likely are already averse to interacting with others. You may even be disgusted with or afraid of the idea of interacting with others. You may find it quite overwhelming when you have to socially engage. Your social anxiety can also make you believe others hate you, so disliking them first serves as a form of protection.
3. Introversion
While similar to social anxiety, introversion is not quite as pathological. Introverted personalities tend to feel drained from social interactions. If you’re not feeling 100% or are dealing with stress already, you may be quite averse to interacting with others. You could also be disgusted or angered by being forced to. That said, not all introverts feel strong negative feelings toward others.
4. Ideological Differences
People tend to fear what they do not know or understand. When interacting with people who are different from you, these underlying fears can surface as feelings of hatred toward that other person or group. Whether their cultural, political, ethical, religious, or world views are different, you may find it hard to relate. When you feel very different from those you interact with, it can seem like you have an underlying hatred toward them.
5. Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Some evidence suggests that those with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) who have opposing views to the general population can behave more aggressively toward people who challenge their held beliefs and view of themselves. Additionally, when a narcissist is criticized and experiences a narcissistic injury, they often respond with narcissistic rage. In this case, if you have narcissistic tendencies and people oppose your basic views or do not support your self-image, you can feel hatred toward them.1, 2
6. Antisocial Personality Disorder
Antisocial personality traits often result in the individual with antisocial personality disorder (AVPD) being seen as hateful toward others. The truth is that those with AVPD typically care little about people and their feelings. They feel cold and unfeeling toward others, and be quick to rage, anger, and even violence.3
7. Burnout
Burnout can affect any area of a person’s life. It is a state of chronic stress and exhaustion that can make them feel their energy entirely depleted. For example, work burnout, parental burnout, or caregiver burnout can all lead to feelings of resentment, making someone more vulnerable to irritability, anger, and lashing out behaviorally. It may seem at times that you hate everyone and everything when you’re burned out.
8. Unrealistic Expectations
If you’re continually asking yourself, “Why do I hate people,” you may be holding unrealistic expectations for the world or even yourself. These can quickly lead to feelings of anger, resentment, and hatred. When people do not fall in line with how you anticipate they should behave, think, or see things, it can be irritating. Holding fast to unrealistic expectations of others will leave you thinking that they are the problem, and feelings of hatred are prolonged.
9. Self-Esteem Issues
Having poor self-esteem can make you more vulnerable to irritability and impulsively, which can result in lashing out with anger and aggression. If you’re afraid of not feeling validated, you can grow to hate those who either challenge your projected self or confirm your inadequacy, whether directly or by virtue of their own personal success or persona.1
Social media can impact mental health, further complicating the problem by offering an opportunity to constantly compare yourself to others’ best-projected selves. This creates a situation where you may grow to resent and hate others around you as you feel that you do not measure up to the “norm” that is portrayed.4
10. Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder
Someone with obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD) can exhibit symptoms that may make it seem that they have no concern for others, but only for the things which they obsess over. Symptoms of OCPD often include overtly strict adherence to rules and expectations that others fall in line with personal standards. When this does not happen, the person with OCPD can lash out at others and make it almost unbearable for the person with OCPD to be around such people.5, 6 In turn, the OCPD individual may start to think, “I hate people.”
11. Depression
If you’re struggling with a mood disorder like depression, symptoms often include irritability and a general lack of motivation and enjoyment in life (anhedonia). These depression symptoms, along with others, can lead to feelings of hatred of others, especially if these are not typical of an individual’s personality.
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Consequences of the “I Hate People” Mentality
Internalization of hatred toward everyone has consequences such as loneliness and isolation, lack of support, impaired social standing, negative career impacts, and others.
Mental & Physical Health
Overall, your physical health can suffer as hatred is typically associated with anger and stress. This raises stress hormones within your body and keeps them elevated over time. Maintaining this mindset can do lasting damage to your body as well as your mind. Locking in these patterns of thinking can make you more vulnerable to depression and anxiety and reinforces other personality disorders, such as narcissism or antisocial personality disorder, if they already exist.
Relationships & Family
If you hate everyone around you, it is likely also reflected in your behavior toward them. It makes it difficult to hold onto meaningful friendships, stay in romantic relationships, and get along with family members.
Work
Coworker relationships would likely suffer with this mindset. You may become more irritable at work or more harsh with subordinates if you manage people. You may even become disagreeable to change or accepting directives from others. In turn, you can lose out on promotions or create severe consequences if HR gets involved because of your behavior.
How to Cope When You Feel Like “I Hate Everyone”
If you are just trying to make it through the day, and need some ideas on how to cope, there are a few. Many will be similar to stress management techniques that center you and allow you to rationally approach your day. However you decide to work through your feelings, you may find yourself questioning “Why do I hate people?” less and less.
Below are ways to cope when you feel like you hate everyone:
- Practice meditation: Meditation is an excellent way to stay grounded on a daily basis. It can lower stress and give you the capacity to handle challenging situations. Meditation for anger and meditation for anxiety can be particularly helpful, as these feelings could be the reason why you feel like you hate everyone.
- Try deep breathing techniques: Deep breathing can be done in conjunction with meditation, or in the moment to help recenter yourself and cope with rising stress levels. Learning breathwork can go a long way in helping you avoid impulsive behavior when dealing with difficult situations.
- Maintain empathy: Empathy is the ability to see the perspective of others and understand their emotional states and reasoning. It’s not something that comes easy, but it is a learned skill that can be taught. Looking at things from another person’s viewpoint can mitigate negative emotions that would otherwise have come up in interacting with them.
- Start a journal: Writing out your thought processes and experiences allows you to process them with pen and paper, and can be quite helpful in many circumstances. Journaling helps form a habit of looking inward to why thoughts and feelings occur, while also providing a healthy outlet for these negative emotions.
- Practice forgiveness: Practicing forgiveness is a skill that frees you from the need to ruminate over negative thoughts and situations, or harbor negative emotions within yourself. Forgiveness places power back in your hands. Practicing self-forgiveness can be a powerful tool as well, allowing acceptance and perspective into your own life.7
When to Seek Professional Help
While feeling like you hate everyone around you can be a temporary and situational occurrence, there are times when it is part of a bigger problem that may need professional therapeutic help. When this hatred lasts for a prolonged time or has been there all your life; is accompanied by aggressive behaviors; or results in criminal activity, violence, or threats; therapy may be needed.
If you seem unable to form or keep meaningful relationships, or if people in your life seem more like means to an end, this may be an indicator of an underlying personality disorder that could benefit from treatment. If in-person therapy is not possible, there are also ways to find an online therapist by searching an online therapist directory.
Final Thoughts
Feeling like you hate everyone or most people is often a sign of underlying issues, but there are ways to work through them. Seeking the help of a therapist can go a long way in your journey to overcome this thought.
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