If you find yourself saying “I hate people” frequently, you may hate people in general, or a vast majority of people, for reasons like unrealistic expectations going unmet, an internalized sense of superiority, internal stress associated with social interaction, a personality disorder, being unable to deal with inherent differences in others, or a number of other causes. Some of these underlying reasons can be challenged easily, but others may require more introspection and work, possibly with the help of a professional therapist.
Why Do I Hate Everyone? 11 Reasons
While annoyance at others is a common occurrence, constantly thinking “I hate people” is usually a sign of something more going on, whether that’s a personality issue, stress, or a myriad of other things that may be personal to you or even situational and temporary.
The following are 11 reasons why you may feel like you hate everyone:
1. Stress
Stress, especially toxic stress, can heighten other negative emotions such as anger, which can lead to and prolong feelings of hatred. Stress can also make us easily irritated by the smallest things, and make us incapable of putting aside our feelings to deal with or interact with others.
2. Social Anxiety
If you have social anxiety disorder, you likely are already averse to interacting with others. You may even be disgusted with, or afraid of the idea of having to interact with other people or find it quite overwhelming when you have to. Your social anxiety may also make you believe others hate you, and disliking them first can serve as a form of protection.
3. Introversion
Similar to social anxiety, introversion is not quite as pathological. Introverted personalities tend to have their energy drained from social interactions. If you’re not feeling 100%, or are dealing with stress already, you may be quite averse to interacting with others, even disgusted by the idea or angered at being forced to. That said, not all introverts feel strong negative feelings towards others.
4. Ideological Differences
People tend to fear what they do not know or understand. When faced with interacting with people who are different from yourself, whether culturally, politically, ethnically, religiously, or even just in how they see the world, these underlying fears can surface as feelings of hatred toward that other person or group. Expanding on this, when you feel very different from most people you interact with, it can feel like you have an underlying hatred toward everyone.
5. Narcissism
There has been some evidence to suggest that people with narcissistic personality disorder who have opposing views to the general population they encounter can behave more aggressively toward those who challenge their held beliefs and their view of themselves. Additionally, when a narcissist is criticized, their ego is injured, and they often respond with rage.
This can set up a situation where if you have narcissistic tendencies and the people you interact with most often oppose your basic views or do not support your self image, you can feel hatred towards others.1, 2
6. Antisocial Personality Disorder
Antisocial personality traits lend themselves to have the person with antisocial personality disorder to be seen as hateful toward others. The truth is that people with antisocial personality disorder often care very little about others and their feelings. They can be quick to rage and anger, and therefore can feel cold and unfeeling towards other people in their lives, and even violent at times.3
7. Burnout
Burnout is a state of chronic stress and exhaustion that can make someone feel their energy depleted in an area of their life. Work burnout, parental burnout, or caregiver burnout can all lead to feelings of resentment toward that area of a person’s life, and makes them more vulnerable to irritability, anger, and lashing out behaviorally. It may feel at times that you hate everyone and everything when you’re burned out.
8. Unrealistic Expectations
Holding unrealistic expectations for the world around you, or even yourself, can quickly lead to feelings of anger, resentment, and hatred. When people do not fall in line with how you anticipate they should behave, think, or view the world, it can be irritating. Holding fast to unrealistic expectations of others will leave you feeling like other people are the problem, and can lead to feelings of hatred.
9. Self-Esteem Issues
Having poor self-esteem can make you more vulnerable to irritability, and impulsively lashing out with anger and aggression. Feeling fearful of your poor self-image being validated, you can grow to hate those who either challenge your projected self, or confirm your inadequacy, whether directly or by virtue of their own personal success or persona.1
Social media has complicated this further by offering an opportunity to constantly compare yourself to others’ best projected selves, creating a situation where you may grow to resent and hate others around you because you feel that you do not measure up to the “norm” that is portrayed.4
10. Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder
Someone with obsessive compulsive personality disorder (OCPD) can exhibit symptoms that may make it seem to others and even their family that they have no concern for them, but only for the things which they obsess over. This can be seen in overtly strict adherence to rules and expectations that others fall in line with their own standards.
When this does not happen, the person with OCPD can lash out against those not in line with their standards, and even make it unbearable for the person with OCPD to be around such people.5, 6
11. Depression
If you’re struggling with a mood disorder like depression, symptoms often include irritability and anhedonia, a general lack of motivation and enjoyment in life. These depression symptoms, along with others, can lead to feelings of hatred, especially if these are not typical of an individual’s personality.
Consequences of the “I Hate People” Mentality
Internalization of hatred toward everyone has consequences such as loneliness and isolation, lack of support, impaired social standing, negative impact to career, among others. Let’s take a look at some of the ways that holding on to this mentality can impact your life.
Mental & Physical Health
Overall, your physical health can suffer as hatred is typically associated with anger and stress, raising those stress hormones within your body and keeping them elevated over time. Maintaining this mindset can do lasting damage to your body over time, as well as your mind.
Locking in these patterns of thinking can make you more vulnerable to depression and anxiety, and reinforces other personality disorders, such as narcissism or antisocial personality disorder, if they already exist.
Relationships & Family
If you hate everyone around you, it is likely also reflected in your behavior toward them. It makes it difficult to hold onto meaningful relationships, stay in romantic relationships, and get along with family members.
Work
Coworker relationships would likely suffer with this mindset. You may become more irritable at work, disagreeable to change or accepting directives from others, or more harsh with subordinates if you manage people. This could cause you to lose out on promotions or even create worse consequences if HR gets involved because of your behavior at work.
How to Cope When You Feel Like You Hate Everyone
If you are just trying to make it through the day, and need some ideas on how to cope, there are a few. Many will be similar to stress management techniques that center you and allow you to rationally approach your day.
Ways to cope when you feel like you hate everyone include:
Meditation
Meditation is an excellent way to stay grounded on a daily basis. It can lower stress and give you capacity to handle challenging situations. It’s particularly useful for anger and anxiety, which may be the feelings that make you feel like you hate everyone.
Deep Breathing
Deep breathing can be done in conjunction with meditation as a daily practice, or in the moment to help recenter yourself and cope with rising stress levels. Learning breathwork can go a long way to helping you avoid impulsive behavior when dealing with stressful situations.
Practice Empathy
Empathy is the ability to see the perspective of others and understand their emotional states and even reasoning. It’s not something that comes easy, but it is a learned skill and something that can be taught. Looking at things from another person’s perspective can mitigate negative emotions that would otherwise have come up in interacting with that person.
Process Journaling
Writing out your thought processes, experiences, and processing through them with pen and paper can be quite helpful in many circumstances. Journaling can allow you to start the habit of looking inward to why thoughts and feelings occur, and also provide a healthy outlet for these negative emotions.
Practice Forgiveness
Practicing forgiveness is a coping skill that frees you from the need to ruminate over negative thoughts and situations, or harbor negative emotions within yourself. Forgiveness places power back in your hands.
It allows you to make the decision on your own to not allow yourself to be burdened with negative thoughts and feelings about what someone else has done. Practicing self-forgiveness can be a powerful tool as well, allowing acceptance and perspective into your life.7
When to Seek Professional Help
While feeling like you hate everyone around you can be a temporary and situational occurrence, there are times when it is part of a bigger problem that may need professional therapeutic help. When this hatred lasts for a prolonged time, or has been there all your life, when it is accompanied by behaviors like aggression, criminal activity, violence or threats, then it is a good idea to seek professional help.
If you also seem to not be able to form or keep meaningful relationships in life, or if people in your life seem more like means to an end, this may be an indicator of an underlying personality disorder that could benefit from treatment. You can find a qualified therapist online by searching an online therapist directory.
Final Thoughts
Feeling like you hate everyone can be a sign of underlying issues but there are ways to work through them. Working with a therapist can help immensely.
