“Why Does Everyone Hate Me?” 8 Reasons You Feel This Way

Why Do I Think Everyone Hates Me?

Sometimes, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that “everyone hates me,” but this feeling usually stems from our own insecurities or negative thinking. The reality is, not everyone hates you.  Sometimes, our thinking patterns can mislead us, especially when we’re not seeing things clearly or are being too self-critical.

Here are eight reasons you may feel like everyone hates you:

1. You’re Personalizing Other People’s Actions

Personalization is a common cognitive distortion where you believe that things happening around you are about you, even when they’re not. This way of thinking can make you see these situations as proof that others don’t like you or are upset with you, even when that’s not true. For example, if someone seems upset or distant, you might think it’s because of something you did, even if it has nothing to do with you. This can lead to feeling insecure and feeling like everyone hates you.¹

2. You’re Struggling With Your Mental Health

Anxiety, social anxiety, and depression can cast a dark cloud over your thoughts, making it hard to see things clearly. These mental health struggles often lead to a cycle of negative self-talk where you focus on your flaws. Over time, this can make you feel worthless and convince you that others see you in the same harsh light, leading to the false belief that everyone dislikes or even hates you. However, it’s important to recognize that these feelings are a symptom of your mental health challenges, not a true reflection of how others see you.

3. You Have Low Self-Esteem

Feeling like everyone hates you may actually reflect how you feel about yourself. When you struggle with low self-esteem, it’s easy to project your own self-hatred onto others, assuming they see you the same way. This can lead you to believe that those around you dislike or hate you when in reality, these feelings are more about your own internal struggles than about how others truly perceive you.

4. You’re Surrounded by the Wrong People

If the people around you consistently put you down, make you feel like a burden, or fail to show genuine care, you might start to think that their behavior reflects how everyone sees you. Over time, this can hurt your self-esteem and make you believe that everyone dislikes you, even though it’s really just about being around the wrong people.^{2, 3}

Growing up in a homogeneous community where you don’t fit in can make these feelings worse. If you’re different in some way—whether it’s how you look, what you believe, or what you like—you might isolated or misunderstood. When others don’t appreciate your differences, it can make you feel like everyone hates you. But really, it’s more about not fitting into that specific environment than about being unlikable.

5. You’re Physically Worn Down

Your physical state can affect your emotional state, so be sure that you take care of your body. Before assuming everyone hates you, check in with yourself. Are you tired, hungry, or stressed? Sometimes, these basic needs can cloud your self-perception and make you feel like everyone hates you. Taking a moment to address these needs can help you see things more clearly and improve your interactions with others.^{4, 5}

6. You’re Playing the Comparison Game On Social Media

Doomscrolling through the picture-perfect lives of others on social media can be tempting, but it often sets unrealistic expectations and can give you an inferiority complex. When your posts don’t get much attention or interaction, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that everyone dislikes you, even though social media rarely tells the whole story.

7. You’re a Highly Sensitive Person

When you’re a highly sensitive person (HSP), you tend to notice every little thing—like changes in someone’s tone of voice, a slight shift in their facial expression, or even just a different vibe in the room. It’s easy to start overthinking these things and assuming they mean something negative, like someone’s upset with you or doesn’t like you. This can lead you to worry constantly about what others think of you, making you feel like you’re always on the verge of being rejected or criticized.

8. You’re Stuck In All-or-Nothing Thinking

All-or-nothing thinking, also known as black-and-white thinking, is a cognitive distortion where you see things in extremes—either all good or all bad, with no middle ground. This rigid mindset can cause you to assume that if one person seems upset with you or if something goes wrong, then everyone must hate you. This extreme perspective doesn’t allow for any nuance or consideration of other possibilities.

How to Cope When You Feel Like Everyone Hates You

When you feel like everyone hates you, it can be really tough and isolating. First, take a deep breath and remind yourself that these feelings are usually more about what’s going on inside your head than what’s actually happening. Sometimes talking to a friend or therapist can really help—they can offer a different perspective and reassure you that things aren’t as bad as they seem. Don’t forget to take care of yourself too, whether that’s through some mindfulness exercises, journaling, or even just going for a walk. It’s okay to have moments of doubt, but be kind to yourself and remember that these feelings will pass.

Here are some tips and worksheets for coping with feeling like everyone hates you:

• Try reframing your thoughts: Pay attention to what you’re thinking and ask yourself if there’s real evidence to back them up, or if it’s just your mind playing tricks. You can also ask yourself whether those thoughts are helping you or harming you. If there is no evidence and the thoughts are hurting you, see if there’s another way to look at the situation. There are many different CBT apps that can help you with cognitive restructuring.
• Ask yourself, “Is this really about me?”: It’s easy to think everything is about you, but often it’s not. Sometimes we assume that someone’s negative behavior is because of us when it really isn’t. Remind yourself that others might be dealing with their own stuff, and it’s not always about you.
• Practice self-compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend. Remind yourself that it’s okay to have flaws and make mistakes and that these don’t define your worth. Learning to love yourself can help you build resilience against negative self-perceptions.
• Focus on your strengths: Make a list of your positive qualities and past achievements. When negative thoughts creep in, refer to this list to remind yourself of your worth and the positive impact you have on others.
• Limit social media usage: Social media can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy and comparison. Consider taking a social media break or limiting your time on these platforms to avoid triggering negative thoughts.
• Take care of your health: How you feel physically can really impact your mood. If you’re not feeling well, everything can seem worse than it is. Make sure you’re taking care of yourself every day.
• Engage in self-care: Self-care plays a crucial role in getting rid of the thought that everyone hates you by grounding you in your own sense of worth and well-being.  When you take time for different types of self-care—whether that’s through activities like exercise, meditation, hobbies, or simply resting—you’re reinforcing the idea that you deserve kindness and compassion.
• Start journaling: By jotting down what happened during your day, how you felt, and how you reacted, you can start to see patterns in your thoughts and emotions. This process helps you differentiate between what’s actually happening and the assumptions you are making. Over time, journaling can help you develop a more balanced perspective on your interactions with others and overcome your inner self-critic.⁶
• Evaluate who you surround yourself with: Look at the people around you—are they really supportive? If your social circle isn’t uplifting, it might be time to rethink some relationships. A positive support system can do wonders for your self-love and happiness.

Free Worksheets to Overcome Your Inner Critic

This collection of worksheets provides practical tools and strategies for combating negative thinking and improving your self-confidence. Find the one that fits your needs, or download all of them here.

The Complete Workbook Download

Challenging Your Thoughts Download

Knowing Your Strengths Download

Self-Care Inventory Download

Practicing Gratitude Download

Overcoming Shame Download

Setting SMART Goals Download

When to Seek Professional Help

Feeling like everyone hates you can become debilitating. That general assumption could also indicate that something more serious is going on, as feeling hated is a common symptom of anxiety, depression, and various personality disorders. If your everyday life is severely impacted, you have problems performing at work or school, or you start having thoughts of suicide, seek professional help.

A local therapist directory is a great way to find a therapist in your area who takes your insurance. Alternatively, online therapy services can match you with a therapist specializing in challenging negative self-talk and developing a healthier relationship with oneself. Online-Therapy.com is a service tailor-made for cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), which is especially effective at combating feelings of negativity and worthlessness.

Ways to Improve How Others See You

While you can’t always control how others feel about you, there are steps you can take to make a better impression. People’s opinions are shaped by many factors, including their own experiences and emotions, but by showing genuine interest in others, being a good listener, and treating people with kindness and respect, you can create more positive relationships.

Here are some tips for winning people over:

• Show genuine interest in others: Really care about what’s going on in people’s lives. Ask them questions and truly listen to what they have to say.
• Smile: A warm, genuine smile can make a lasting positive impression and make others feel comfortable around you.
• Remember and use people’s names: A person’s name is special to them. Remembering and using it in conversation shows you respect and value them.
• Be a good listener: Instead of focusing on what you’ll say next, really listen to the other person. Let them talk about themselves and their interests.
• Talk about what interests them: Tailor your conversations to what matters to the other person. It shows you’re thoughtful and considerate of their passions.
• Make the other person feel good about themselves: Find sincere reasons to compliment and appreciate others. This will make them feel valued and respected.
• Avoid arguments: Winning an argument isn’t worth losing a friend. Instead, focus on understanding their point of view and finding common ground.
• Admit your mistakes: If you mess up, own it. Apologize quickly and sincerely—it shows you’re humble and trustworthy.