ADHD masking is a coping skill people with ADHD may use to hide their symptoms and fit into societal norms. Masking often means overcompensating for perceived shortcomings by hiding natural emotional reactions, working harder on tasks, or adopting the mannerisms of others. This tactic may seem helpful but can lead to low self-esteem, superficial relationships, and anxiety.
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What Is ADHD Masking?
ADHD masking is when someone behaves in specific ways to conceal their symptoms of ADHD. People with ADHD mask their symptoms to fit in and avoid judgment from others. They may mimic the behaviors of people without ADHD, hide their struggles, or make excuses for being distracted or late. While masking allows them to blend in, it can prevent them from getting proper support and treatment.
A person with ADHD can intentionally mask, or they may do so subconsciously.1, 2 When a person becomes adept at masking, those around them may never know they have ADHD.
Here are common symptoms of masking in ADHD:
- Experiencing mental fatigue because of the constant effort to focus, stay organized, and suppress impulsive behaviors.
- Constant underlying anxiety and worry about slipping up or failing to meet others’ expectations
- Irritability and short temper at your loved ones due to the exhaustion of masking from others throughout the day
- Feeling “not good enough” or experiencing imposter syndrome
- Feeling overwhelmed and unable to keep up with responsibilities because of the extra mental load of masking
- Feeling emotionally drained and unable to experience joy from activities that are normally pleasurable
- Feeling disconnected or dissociated because of the anxiety masking creates
Difference Between ADHD Masking & Effectively Managing ADHD
Masking ADHD symptoms is different than healthily managing symptoms. Managing ADHD involves using therapy, medication, and healthy coping skills for ADHD to reduce the impact of symptoms. In contrast, masking means hiding ADHD characteristics to conform to the expectations of others. Both masking and managing ADHD can help a person to function, but masking will also lead to anxiety and depression.
ADHD Masking Examples
ADHD masking can take many different forms. Its appearance and symptom presentation also tend to vary from person to person.
Here are some examples of ways ADHD masking may look:
- Getting tasks or chores done right away in order to prevent the possibility of forgetting about them.
- Using alarms on phones and other tools in order to prevent difficulties with time management causes problems.
- Using lists in order to ensure no tasks get forgotten.
- Asking friends to repeat information that was conveyed in class or at work due to difficulties with paying attention in class.
- Sitting at the front of the classroom in order to minimize distractions.
- Taking notes during class or at work in order to prevent yourself from forgetting that information.
- Paying attention to someone’s facial expressions and mirroring them even when you can’t remember what they were just talking about so it isn’t obvious you were distracted and not listening to them.
- Overcompensating at work or in school in order to reduce the likelihood of being fired if you end up forgetting about an important task in the future.
- Getting extra support with tasks that are challenging or difficult.
- Using rewards in order to motivate yourself to complete tasks that feel impossible to complete.
- Engage frequently in sports or other socially accepted physical activities in order to mask and manage hyperactive symptoms.
- Using alcohol or other depressants in order to manage hyperactive symptoms when in a social group, especially one with new or unfamiliar people.
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Long-Term Impacts of ADHD Masking
Individuals try masking their ADHD to feel more confident and in control of their symptoms. However, masking ADHD symptoms does not reduce symptoms–it only hides them from others. By hiding one’s ADHD rather than treating it, ADHD masking can result in many long-term negative effects, such as anxiety, poor self-esteem, and even misdiagnosis.
Long-term impacts of ADHD masking include:
- Delayed diagnosis or misdiagnosis: When you engage in masking, healthcare professionals and family members may struggle to recognize your symptoms of ADHD. Masking can delay your diagnosis or cause a misdiagnosis of your ADHD, thus limiting access to beneficial treatment.
- Not receiving proper support: ADHD is a disability, and receiving the proper support can make ADHD symptoms a lot more manageable. ADHD masking prevents you from receiving the support you need at school, work, and with your day-to-day responsibilities.
- Superficial relationships: Masking ADHD can seem a lot like pretending to be someone else. When you conceal your identity, people cannot get to know the real you. In the worst situations, ADHD masking can leave you feeling disconnected from yourself and questioning your identity.
- Burnout: Masking ADHD can expend an incredible amount of mental energy. Consistently denying your symptoms and hiding your true self from others can leave you feeling entirely depleted. Unfortunately, this ongoing demand can lead to chronic stress and masking ADHD burnout.
- Perfectionism & self-criticism: ADHD and perfectionism often go hand in hand because you may feel the need to mask your ADHD and perform perfectly. If you fall short of these expectations, you may fall into a cycle of self-criticism and self-doubt. Unhealthy negative self-talk creates more stress and can worsen ADHD symptoms.
- Anxiety & depression: Masking ADHD symptoms can lead to anxiety because masking your symptoms can leave you in constant hypervigilance, focusing closely on your every move, body gesture, or statement. Masking can also lead to low self-esteem and a loss of identity, sometimes contributing to ADHD-induced depression.
- Risk of substance abuse: ADHD masking prevents you from seeking professional help and learning healthy coping mechanisms for ADHD. Instead, you may turn to abusing drugs or alcohol to cope.
- Feeling alone and isolated: Masking means only the tip of the ADHD iceberg is visible, meaning others struggle to understand and empathize with you. Additionally, you cannot open up to others and ask for the help you need, leaving you alone and isolated.
- Low self-esteem: Masking your ADHD can prevent you from recognizing how your ADHD symptoms impact you. You may tell yourself you are incompetent, stupid, or lazy rather than recognizing your ADHD. This can lower your self-esteem significantly.
Why Unmasking ADHD is Important
Unmasking ADHD is an essential step toward understanding, accepting, and managing symptoms in a healthy way. Unmasking can lead individuals to seek support and gain positive tools for managing symptoms, helping relieve the stress and anxiety of maintaining the facade.
How to Stop Masking ADHD
Masking ADHD over an extended period can be damaging to both your physical and emotional health. Exploring alternative ways of living healthily with ADHD can help you better manage symptoms without losing your sense of self.
Here are eight ways to begin unmasking ADHD:
1. Look at Your Patterns
The first step toward a life free from masking is to honestly and thoroughly explore how your ADHD symptoms and coping skills impact you. Identify the circumstances, settings, and triggers that influence masking behavior. While uncomfortable, this process is worth the effort.
2. Consider Getting a Diagnosis If You Don’t Have One
ADHD is unique in that many providers require thorough testing and assessments to begin treatment, particularly medication. Consider getting a complete neuro-psych evaluation from a psychologist to clarify the diagnosis and rule out other conditions. Many people find a proper diagnosis helps them understand and accept their symptoms so they can begin unmasking.
3. Know Where the Stigma Comes From
The societal stigma around mental health may influence you to view ADHD symptoms in a negative light. Celebrating neurodiversity can allow you to fully embrace your identity and live a fulfilling life as your true self.
4. Celebrate ADHD Strengths
While ADHD symptoms can prove problematic in certain circumstances, you should never think of your diagnosis as a setback or disadvantage. Find the people, places, and circumstances that allow you to feel the benefits of your ADHD and make you shine. There, you can celebrate, rather than hide, your strengths and uniqueness.
5. Separate Unhealthy From Healthy Masking
At times, masking your ADHD can be a healthy and positive coping skill. For instance, sometimes masking can help you focus on projects or deadlines. However, concealing your personality can create a sense of shame. Be sure to explore other coping strategies to avoid developing a negative self-perception.
6. Develop Emotional Regulation Skills
People with ADHD often struggle with emotional dysregulation due to problems with impulse control. ADHD can cause rapid mood swings, frustration, irritability, and overwhelm. Learning emotional regulation skills can help individuals manage their emotions, reduce stress, and improve their interactions and relationships with others.
7. Lean on Your Loved Ones for Support
Unmasking can feel scary and vulnerable. However, asking for the help of loved ones can help those with ADHD share their struggles and embrace their true selves. Talk openly and honestly with your loved ones about beginning the unmasking process, and let them know whether you want solutions or just a listening ear to process your feelings.
8. Practice Self-Compassion & Acceptance
When a person struggles because of ADHD symptoms, the last thing they need is more criticism. Yet, many of those with ADHD are hypercritical of themselves. Self-compassion, acceptance, and patience are critical parts of the healing process. Learning how to love yourself reduces the pressure to continue masking your ADHD.
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ADHD Masking in Women Vs. Men
Girls and women are more likely to have inattentive ADHD than their male peers. Inattentive ADHD symptoms are more internal, so women are less likely to be diagnosed with ADHD and are more inclined to mask their symptoms to compensate. ADHD masking in women can present as making lists, studying intently at school, or resisting the urge to speak up. Constantly struggling to meet societal expectations and compensate for perceived deficits can contribute to mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion.
Masking ADHD is less common in boys and men because they are more likely to have hyperactive ADHD, which has more external symptoms.3 When they do mask, their ADHD masking may look different. They may work hard to appear calm and controlled to hide hyperactive and impulsive ADHD symptoms or suppress their emotions to fit in with peers.
When Do People With ADHD Start Masking?
Masking often starts in childhood, when a kid experiences shame or stigma about their ADHD at home or at school.2 Alternatively, ADHD masking may not emerge until later in life if a person’s symptoms do not affect them much until they reach college or start a new job. The same could be true for someone who leaves a supportive environment for a more rigid or critical one.
Not all people with ADHD mask their symptoms. Individuals who view their diagnosis as a part of their identity may not feel the need to engage in these behaviors. Depending on the setting, someone with ADHD may feel more or less inclined to participate in masking.
“ADHD masking can begin as early as pre-adolescence, as this is a time one attempts to navigate social customs and figure out their own daily routine… We as people want to feel accepted and ‘fit in’ to what we believe are acceptable behaviors.”
How Treatment Can Help With ADHD Masking
Finding a neurodiversity-affirming therapist can assist you in accepting your symptoms. Many people are shocked to discover how much of their behavior was due to ADHD masking earlier in life. This knowledge can help you address and reduce the impact of symptoms across different areas of your life. Therapy can also help you learn to love yourself and embrace your unique gifts.
There are many different online ADHD treatment services that can provide you with therapists and psychiatrists who specialize in treating ADHD. Additionally, apps such as InFlow are a great way to bolster therapy and/or medication. They provide accountability coaching and a community of people who struggle with the same issues. Consider reaching out for support today–help is available to ensure healthy well-being as you start unmasking.
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In My Experience
Frequently Asked Questions
How Common Is ADHD Masking?
When and how a person with ADHD masks depends on various factors, such as culture and environment. For example, individuals with jobs or obligations that require focus, concentration, and high performance may feel more pressure to mask. In childhood, children with parents who expect quiet and obedience will likely hide their symptoms more than those with encouraging caregivers.
Why Is ADHD Masking So Exhausting?
ADHD masking is exhausting because it often requires a lot of emotional and psychological effort to engage in masking behaviors. Oftentimes, individuals with ADHD who are high in masking tendencies will score high on measures of anxiety and depression. Anxiety results from the fear of failure, which masking attempts to prevent, while depression can occur when masking fails and a person believes they have been “found out” or seen for who they truly are.
Many people turn to substance use or self-isolate in order to prevent themselves from being judged for their behavior. They may need more recovery time after being in settings that often require an individual to put a lot of effort into masking, such as social situations, being at work, or being in class.
Can High Intelligence “Mask” ADHD Symptoms?
High intelligence allows people to “compensate” for their symptoms of ADHD. For example, individuals can perform well academically or at work with little extra effort. They can use their intelligence to develop strategies and systems for completing tasks and staying organized. These masking techniques help support productivity and success but are mentally exhausting, often leading to ADHD burnout.
What Is ADHD Mirroring?
ADHD mirroring is another type of masking in ADHD. In these cases, individuals mimic others to appear “normal” or neurotypical. ADHD mimicking includes copying behaviors, actions, interests, and even speech patterns of peers. This behavior may help someone feel included in the short term but can ultimately lead to anxiety, low self-esteem, and loss of identity.
Choosing Therapy strives to provide our readers with mental health content that is accurate and actionable. We have high standards for what can be cited within our articles. Acceptable sources include government agencies, universities and colleges, scholarly journals, industry and professional associations, and other high-integrity sources of mental health journalism. Learn more by reviewing our full editorial policy.
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National Health Service. (2021). Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Retreived from https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder-adhd/symptoms/
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Kosaka, H., Fujioka, T., & Jung, M. (2019). Symptoms in individuals with adult-onset ADHD are masked during childhood. European archives of psychiatry and clinical neuroscience, 269(6), 753–755.
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CFAH. (2023). ADHD Statistics (2023): How Many People Have ADHD? Center For Advancing Health. Retrieved from https://cfah.org/adhd-statistics/
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American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th ed.). Arlington, VA.
We regularly update the articles on ChoosingTherapy.com to ensure we continue to reflect scientific consensus on the topics we cover, to incorporate new research into our articles, and to better answer our audience’s questions. When our content undergoes a significant revision, we summarize the changes that were made and the date on which they occurred. We also record the authors and medical reviewers who contributed to previous versions of the article. Read more about our editorial policies here.
Author: Eric Patterson, LPC (No Change)
Medical Reviewer: Heidi Moawad, MD (No Change)
Primary Changes: Added section title”Why Is ADHD Masking So Exhausting?” Added bulleted list titled “Common Symptoms of Masking in ADHD.” New content written by Chelsea Twiss, LP, PhD, and medically reviewed by Kristen Fuller, MD. Fact-checked and edited for improved readability and clarity.
Author: Eric Patterson, LPC (No Change)
Medical Reviewer: Heidi Moawad, MD (No Change)
Primary Changes: Revised sections titled “What Is ADHD Masking,” “When Do People With ADHD Start Masking,” “Long-Term Impacts of ADHD Masking,” and “How to Stop Masking ADHD Symptoms.” Added sections titled “Signs of ADHD Masking,” “How Common Is ADHD Masking,” “ADHD Masking Examples,” “ADHD Masking & Mirroring,” “Why Unmasking ADHD is Important,” and “How Therapy Can Help With ADHD Masking.” New content written by Michelle Risser, LISW-S and medically reviewed by Kristen Fuller, MD. act-checked and edited for improved readability and clarity.
Author: Eric Patterson, LPC
Reviewer: Heidi Moawad, MD
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