ADHD Masking: Examples, Impact, & How to Cope

What Is ADHD Masking?

ADHD masking is when someone behaves in specific ways to conceal their symptoms of ADHD. People with ADHD mask their symptoms to fit in and avoid judgment from others. They may mimic the behaviors of people without ADHD, hide their struggles, or make excuses for being distracted or late. While masking allows them to blend in, it can prevent them from getting proper support and treatment.

A person with ADHD can intentionally mask, or they may do so subconsciously.^{1, 2} When a person becomes adept at masking, those around them may never know they have ADHD.

Here are common symptoms of masking in ADHD:

• Experiencing mental fatigue because of the constant effort to focus, stay organized, and suppress impulsive behaviors.
• Constant underlying anxiety and worry about slipping up or failing to meet others’ expectations
• Irritability and short temper at your loved ones due to the exhaustion of masking from others throughout the day
• Feeling “not good enough” or experiencing imposter syndrome
• Feeling overwhelmed and unable to keep up with responsibilities because of the extra mental load of masking
• Feeling emotionally drained and unable to experience joy from activities that are normally pleasurable
• Feeling disconnected or dissociated because of the anxiety masking creates

Difference Between ADHD Masking & Effectively Managing ADHD

Masking ADHD symptoms is different than healthily managing symptoms. Managing ADHD involves using therapy, medication, and healthy coping skills for ADHD to reduce the impact of symptoms. In contrast, masking means hiding ADHD characteristics to conform to the expectations of others. Both masking and managing ADHD can help a person to function, but masking will also lead to anxiety and depression.

ADHD Masking Examples

ADHD masking can take many different forms. Its appearance and symptom presentation also tend to vary from person to person.

Here are some examples of ways ADHD masking may look:

• Getting tasks or chores done right away in order to prevent the possibility of forgetting about them.
• Using alarms on phones and other tools in order to prevent difficulties with time management causes problems.
• Using lists in order to ensure no tasks get forgotten.
• Asking friends to repeat information that was conveyed in class or at work due to difficulties with paying attention in class.
• Sitting at the front of the classroom in order to minimize distractions.
• Taking notes during class or at work in order to prevent yourself from forgetting that information.
• Paying attention to someone’s facial expressions and mirroring them even when you can’t remember what they were just talking about so it isn’t obvious you were distracted and not listening to them.
• Overcompensating at work or in school in order to reduce the likelihood of being fired if you end up forgetting about an important task in the future.
• Getting extra support with tasks that are challenging or difficult.
• Using rewards in order to motivate yourself to complete tasks that feel impossible to complete.
• Engage frequently in sports or other socially accepted physical activities in order to mask and manage hyperactive symptoms.
• Using alcohol or other depressants in order to manage hyperactive symptoms when in a social group, especially one with new or unfamiliar people.

Long-Term Impacts of ADHD Masking

Individuals try masking their ADHD to feel more confident and in control of their symptoms. However, masking ADHD symptoms does not reduce symptoms–it only hides them from others. By hiding one’s ADHD rather than treating it, ADHD masking can result in many long-term negative effects, such as anxiety, poor self-esteem, and even misdiagnosis.

Long-term impacts of ADHD masking include:

• Delayed diagnosis or misdiagnosis: When you engage in masking, healthcare professionals and family members may struggle to recognize your symptoms of ADHD. Masking can delay your diagnosis or cause a misdiagnosis of your ADHD, thus limiting access to beneficial treatment.
• Not receiving proper support: ADHD is a disability, and receiving the proper support can make ADHD symptoms a lot more manageable. ADHD masking prevents you from receiving the support you need at school, work, and with your day-to-day responsibilities.
• Superficial relationships: Masking ADHD can seem a lot like pretending to be someone else. When you conceal your identity, people cannot get to know the real you. In the worst situations, ADHD masking can leave you feeling disconnected from yourself and questioning your identity.
• Burnout: Masking ADHD can expend an incredible amount of mental energy. Consistently denying your symptoms and hiding your true self from others can leave you feeling entirely depleted. Unfortunately, this ongoing demand can lead to chronic stress and masking ADHD burnout.
• Perfectionism & self-criticism: ADHD and perfectionism often go hand in hand because you may feel the need to mask your ADHD and perform perfectly. If you fall short of these expectations, you may fall into a cycle of self-criticism and self-doubt. Unhealthy negative self-talk creates more stress and can worsen ADHD symptoms.
• Anxiety & depression: Masking ADHD symptoms can lead to anxiety because masking your symptoms can leave you in constant hypervigilance, focusing closely on your every move, body gesture, or statement. Masking can also lead to low self-esteem and a loss of identity, sometimes contributing to ADHD-induced depression.
• Risk of substance abuse: ADHD masking prevents you from seeking professional help and learning healthy coping mechanisms for ADHD. Instead, you may turn to abusing drugs or alcohol to cope.
• Feeling alone and isolated: Masking means only the tip of the ADHD iceberg is visible, meaning others struggle to understand and empathize with you. Additionally, you cannot open up to others and ask for the help you need, leaving you alone and isolated.
• Low self-esteem: Masking your ADHD can prevent you from recognizing how your ADHD symptoms impact you. You may tell yourself you are incompetent, stupid, or lazy rather than recognizing your ADHD. This can lower your self-esteem significantly.

Why Unmasking ADHD is Important

Unmasking ADHD is an essential step toward understanding, accepting, and managing symptoms in a healthy way. Unmasking can lead individuals to seek support and gain positive tools for managing symptoms, helping relieve the stress and anxiety of maintaining the facade.

How to Stop Masking ADHD

Masking ADHD over an extended period can be damaging to both your physical and emotional health. Exploring alternative ways of living healthily with ADHD can help you better manage symptoms without losing your sense of self.

Here are eight ways to begin unmasking ADHD:

1. Look at Your Patterns

The first step toward a life free from masking is to honestly and thoroughly explore how your ADHD symptoms and coping skills impact you. Identify the circumstances, settings, and triggers that influence masking behavior. While uncomfortable, this process is worth the effort.

2. Consider Getting a Diagnosis If You Don’t Have One

ADHD is unique in that many providers require thorough testing and assessments to begin treatment, particularly medication. Consider getting a complete neuro-psych evaluation from a psychologist to clarify the diagnosis and rule out other conditions. Many people find a proper diagnosis helps them understand and accept their symptoms so they can begin unmasking.

3. Know Where the Stigma Comes From

The societal stigma around mental health may influence you to view ADHD symptoms in a negative light. Celebrating neurodiversity can allow you to fully embrace your identity and live a fulfilling life as your true self.

4. Celebrate ADHD Strengths

While ADHD symptoms can prove problematic in certain circumstances, you should never think of your diagnosis as a setback or disadvantage. Find the people, places, and circumstances that allow you to feel the benefits of your ADHD and make you shine. There, you can celebrate, rather than hide, your strengths and uniqueness.

5. Separate Unhealthy From Healthy Masking

At times, masking your ADHD can be a healthy and positive coping skill. For instance, sometimes masking can help you focus on projects or deadlines. However, concealing your personality can create a sense of shame. Be sure to explore other coping strategies to avoid developing a negative self-perception.

6. Develop Emotional Regulation Skills

People with ADHD often struggle with emotional dysregulation due to problems with impulse control. ADHD can cause rapid mood swings, frustration, irritability, and overwhelm. Learning emotional regulation skills can help individuals manage their emotions, reduce stress, and improve their interactions and relationships with others.

7. Lean on Your Loved Ones for Support

Unmasking can feel scary and vulnerable. However, asking for the help of loved ones can help those with ADHD share their struggles and embrace their true selves. Talk openly and honestly with your loved ones about beginning the unmasking process, and let them know whether you want solutions or just a listening ear to process your feelings.

8. Practice Self-Compassion & Acceptance

When a person struggles because of ADHD symptoms, the last thing they need is more criticism. Yet, many of those with ADHD are hypercritical of themselves. Self-compassion, acceptance, and patience are critical parts of the healing process. Learning how to love yourself reduces the pressure to continue masking your ADHD.

ADHD Masking in Women Vs. Men

Girls and women are more likely to have inattentive ADHD than their male peers. Inattentive ADHD symptoms are more internal, so women are less likely to be diagnosed with ADHD and are more inclined to mask their symptoms to compensate. ADHD masking in women can present as making lists, studying intently at school, or resisting the urge to speak up. Constantly struggling to meet societal expectations and compensate for perceived deficits can contribute to mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion.

Masking ADHD is less common in boys and men because they are more likely to have hyperactive ADHD, which has more external symptoms.³ When they do mask, their ADHD masking may look different. They may work hard to appear calm and controlled to hide hyperactive and impulsive ADHD symptoms or suppress their emotions to fit in with peers.

When Do People With ADHD Start Masking?

Masking often starts in childhood, when a kid experiences shame or stigma about their ADHD at home or at school.² Alternatively, ADHD masking may not emerge until later in life if a person’s symptoms do not affect them much until they reach college or start a new job. The same could be true for someone who leaves a supportive environment for a more rigid or critical one.

Not all people with ADHD mask their symptoms. Individuals who view their diagnosis as a part of their identity may not feel the need to engage in these behaviors. Depending on the setting, someone with ADHD may feel more or less inclined to participate in masking.

How Treatment Can Help With ADHD Masking

Finding a neurodiversity-affirming therapist can assist you in accepting your symptoms. Many people are shocked to discover how much of their behavior was due to ADHD masking earlier in life. This knowledge can help you address and reduce the impact of symptoms across different areas of your life. Therapy can also help you learn to love yourself and embrace your unique gifts.

There are many different online ADHD treatment services that can provide you with therapists and psychiatrists who specialize in treating ADHD. Additionally, apps such as InFlow are a great way to bolster therapy and/or medication. They provide accountability coaching and a community of people who struggle with the same issues. Consider reaching out for support today–help is available to ensure healthy well-being as you start unmasking.